My Blue Heaven
by CherrybombLuv
Summary: Bella has a dark personality to match her secret dark past. When her mom can't deal with her bad attitude anymore she sends her to Forks where Bella meets Edward, who is strangely drawn to her, seeing through her tough exterior & inability to trust.
1. Chapter 1: Teenagers

**Welcome to my second FF! I'm so excited to be sharing another piece of my imagination and I really can't wait to see how well it does! I'll admit, I'm a little worried… But I'm excited too. **

**Disclaimer: I own two pairs of Converse High-Tops, an iPod Touch and the song mentioned in the chapter but I do not own Twilight (obviously). **

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: Teenagers<strong>

"I hate this."

"I know."

"I want to go home."

"This is home now."

"I'll just run away again."

"Bella, stop being childish."

I scrunch down in the front seat of Charlie's cruiser, folding my arms tightly across my chest. Whoever thought sending me to live with a cop father would straighten me out was full of shit. Nothing and no one can fix me now.

"Just stick around for a year, Bells," Charlie wheedles. "You'll be eighteen and legally free to go wherever you want. But don't expect me to bail you out of jail."

Charlie adds that last bit as an afterthought and I roll my eyes. I know he'd never actually stop himself from doing that but the idea of going to jail does scare me. Not that I'd ever admit it.

I lean my head against the freezing glass of the window, frowning out at the rain coming down hard as we pull into Forks, Washington. I hate the rain and the cold. But at least I won't be sweltering in my usual dark hoodie that I've gotten into the habit of wearing practically 24/7.

But I still miss the Arizona sun.

Charlie parks in the driveway in front of his old, two-story house. It hasn't changed in seventeen years except there's less flowers here. Flowers were my mom's thing. Charlie can't grow anything but mold.

I stomp past Charlie and into the house, not bothering to wipe the mud off my high-tops and leaving a brown trail across the hardwood floor.

"You should ice your hand!" Charlie calls after me.

"You should fuck off," I mumble under my breath.

I kick off my shoes just outside my bedroom and fling the door open. This room hasn't changed much either except that Charlie got me a new comforter set. It's purple with lavender sheets. I feel my eyes unexpectedly water; I can't believe he actually remembered my favorite color after all these years.

I shake my head and turn to close the door.

Charlie is standing there, holding an icepack wrapped in a dish towel. He holds it out to me wordlessly and I frown as I take it and close the door.

"No smoking," he grumbles through the door.

"Sure, _Dad,_" I say in a falsely upbeat voice, rolling my eyes again.

I yank the throw blanket off the end of my bed and wad it up at the bottom of the door, blocking all air flow. As I stride over to the window, I fish my half empty pack of cigarettes out of my jacket pocket and shake one out.

I sit down on the window seat and shove the metal frame open. The wind has died down so the rain doesn't blow in my face as I stick the cigarette in my mouth and light the tip. I stretch out my legs in front of me, crossing them at the ankles, and lay my hand down on my thigh.

I inspect the bruised knuckles, wishing that Mom hadn't found my stash of pain killers before she shipped me off to this underwater Hell. I know it was my own fault, picking a fight with a wall that I knew I'd lose to but my temper got the best of me when Mom demanded that I go live with Charlie.

With a sigh, I lay the icepack over my hand, sucking in another breath of nicotine and wondering how I'll manage to buy more smokes in a town where everyone knows my name.

Wow, what a scandal: Chief Swan's rebellious daughter buying a pack of smokes. That'll make headlines.

* * *

><p>I wake up to rain. I'm not surprised but I'm not happy either.<p>

Luckily, I managed to swipe Mom's sleeping pills on my way out, knowing I'd need them to sleep during the relentless rain so even though I'm waking up groggy, restless sleep is better than none at all.

I can smell the coffee brewing downstairs as I step out of the shower. But I also smell eggs. I fucking hate eggs.

Almost as much as I hate Forks.

I shuffle my way into the kitchen in an old striped t-shirt and skinny jeans, wrinkling my nose at the overpowering scent of the eggs, and go straight to the coffee pot as I pull on my dark hoodie.

"Morning," Charlie grunts and I mumble back. "I gassed up the truck for you. Just be home for dinner."

"Thanks, Daddy-o," I say sarcastically, searching the cupboards for a travel mug.

"Do you really need to wear that much eyeliner?" Charlie frowns at me as he dishes out his eggs.

"FYI, eggs make me gag," I offer in way of a response as I grab an apple out of the fridge and leave with my travel mug of coffee in hand.

The rain has let up enough so that I don't get thoroughly soaked on my way out to the truck. I've secretly always liked this truck—one of the few things growing up that I looked forward to when I'd come to visit. It's ancient—like, from the 50's old—and is faded red with bulbous fenders. The radio doesn't really work anymore but I can't hear much else besides the rain on the truck's roof anyways.

I'm so early to school that I'm the first one there. I consider going to the office, getting a map and to find my classes but figure I'll be late to every class anyways in this downpour so why even give a shit?

I lie down across the bench seat of the truck, popping the ear-buds of my iPod in my ears and biting into the apple. I chew slowly, wasting time, until the first bell rings.

The classes are boring as fuck. I may not have passed all my classes back home (mainly because I didn't always show up) but I sat through them already. Unfortunately, I finish my coffee before third period and I struggle to stay alert. I keep my hood up through all of my classes and pretend I don't hear the teachers when they say to take it down. They don't try very hard to get me to listen and I spend the last half of fourth period dozing in my seat at the back of the room.

I'm starving by lunch though I'm not looking forward to the shitty cafeteria food. I walk through the line, fully aware of the dozens of eyes trained on my back. I ignore it until I feel a nudge.

I turn and see a baby-faced kid with blonde hair and bright blue eyes that are all lit up with excitement. He's wearing one of those preppy polo shirts.

"Hey, I'm Mike Newton," he says cheerfully, balancing his tray in one hand so he can stick out the other. When I don't shake it, he pulls it back slowly.

I return my attention to the selection of fruit, giving Mike the cold shoulder. He doesn't take the hint and scoots along the line, closer to me than I like.

"You're Bella, right?" he asks and though I don't answer, he plows on anyways. "You can come sit at our table."

I glance around the cafeteria, really not wanting to sit with this dipshit, but there are no empty tables.

"Sure," I answer unenthusiastically. I swear I see Mike jump for joy.

I follow Mike to a table right in the center of the cafeteria. There are more chairs crowded around it than the others but there are two empty ones.

_Great. The beautiful popular kids. That'll make for stimulating conversation._

Mike holds out a chair for me and I reluctantly sit down, moving the chair closer to the dark-haired girl next to me. She smiles shyly at me, introducing herself as Angela. She doesn't bother me any more than that when I don't give her more than my name.

_Huh. Smart kid…_

Mike introduces me to the table, but I don't pay any attention. I stick my ear-buds in my ears and crank it up to drown out the babble. Mike looks disappointed until the busty blonde he's sitting next to starts chattering away, flipping her hair over her shoulder and batting her eyelashes at him. I hold back a snort and scan the room over the top of my soda can.

Besides my pale skin, I don't feel like I fit in with anyone else here. I'm sure some of these other kids would compare me to an emo-goth but I'd answer that with a swift punch in the face. Just because someone wears a lot of black clothing and eye liner doesn't make someone an emo-goth, for Christ's sake…

My novelty and lack of conversation wears off with my table-mates after a few minutes but I can still feel a pair of eyes staring at me. I readjust my chair, trying to surreptitiously figure out where the culprit is.

My eyes fall on a table in the back corner where a beefy guy with dark hair is making out with a curvy blonde in a tight mini-skirt. I watch in disgust, strangely entranced, until they suddenly jerk apart. The guy leans down and rubs a spot on his shin, glaring at the tiny black-haired girl next to him who apparently had kicked him. She's stick thin with spikey hair; even from across the room, I see her roll her eyes at him. He rolls his own right back and nuzzles the blonde, who's fixing her lipstick.

My gaze travels to another blonde but this one is a guy. He's tall and thin, his hair messy and just past his ears. I can tell he's trying to both ignore the making out couple while trying to catch the eye of the tiny girl at the same time. She's studiously ignoring him as she flips through a magazine and jiggles her leg.

Finally, I find the eyes that are looking at me. There's a third guy at the table. He looks lean but muscular and I can't help but notice the way his green eyes sparkle under his unruly copper-colored hair. He gives me a crooked smile and I look down quickly.

I scroll through the list of songs on my iPod, trying not to think about how he's undressing me with his eyes, as I put on _Teenagers_ by My Chemical Romance. The familiar lyrics play in my ears, the words of the chorus resonating in my head:

_Teenagers scare the living shit out of me_

_They could care less as long as someone will bleed…_

I don't turn around but I still feel like I'm being watched.

_Fucking pervert._

Angela nudges me, making me jump in my seat. She pulls out one of my ear-buds and leans in to talk to me.

"Bell rang," she says with a smile.

I give a weak smile back and pack up my things.

As I walk out the door, I look over my shoulder.

The fucker is still staring at me.

* * *

><p>Back home, Biology was my best subject, even after I stopped trying. It was easy and sometimes I could bluff my way out of the gross shit by claiming I was going to faint or barf. Though only one particular exercise made me do that.<p>

The back lab table is empty so after I hand Mr. Banner my schedule to sign, I hurry to the back and hope I have enough time to start a new sketch before the final bell.

I pull my sketchbook out even before I reach the table and throw my backpack onto the desk. I sit down and I hunch over my work, quickly sketching out an Arizona landscape, struggling to hold onto the image in my head—only one day in Forks and I can already feel the comforting dry desert slipping from my memory. After a few relatively quiet minutes, someone sits down next to me, dropping their books on the table and making my hand skid across the paper.

"Shit," I mumble, scrubbing out the stray mark with my eraser.

"Sorry," a soft voice murmurs. "Looks good though."

I look up in horror to find the guy that was staring at me in the cafeteria unloading his backpack at the same table as me. I turn my attention back to my drawing, pulling my hair forward as a means of blocking him out.

"Nice nose ring," he says quietly.

"Fuck off," I snap but it only makes him chuckle.

Mr. Banner takes role and then instructs us to take notes out of the book and answer the questions at the end of the chapter. We can work in pairs.

The guy next to me doesn't say anything for a few minutes while we jot down notes but I can't help but notice how he looks at me every once in the while out of the corner of his eye. I scoot my stool a little to the left, farther away from him.

"I'm Edward Cullen," he finally says in a low voice.

"What part of fuck off don't you get?" I mumble, keeping my eyes on my work.

"The part where we're told to work in pairs," he says and I look up to see him smirking at me. I narrow my eyes.

"I'm not giving you the answers," I tell him coldly.

"I don't want the answers," he says, sounding slightly offended.

"Well, then what do you want?" I ask, not really caring what it is as I answer the third question from the book.

"What were you drawing?" he asks curiously.

"Home," I say simply.

"Didn't look much like Forks."

"That's because it wasn't, genius," I snap, looking up at him again; he's smirking again so I mumble, "Jackass."

"What?" he says innocently, trying to suppress his laughter. "I was just trying to make conversation. Everyone here knows you come from Arizona. You _are_ the Chief's daughter, after all."

I sigh heavily and don't answer. He returns to his work, still smiling and glancing at me. I finish quickly and pull out my drawing again, turning sideways in my chair to try to keep Edward from trying to talk to me again. I think I hear him snigger quietly to himself again.

_Jackass._

* * *

><p>After school, I don't feel like going home right away. I get in my truck, lean my back against the driver's side door and put my feet up on the seat, bending them at the knees. I slip my ear-buds in my ears and start going through my music, hoping to find something loud to drown out the rain that started up again.<p>

Suddenly, the passenger door opens and I look up in shock to see Edward climbing in with me. He runs his hands through his reddish hair, flicking raindrops all over the dashboard. He turns to me with a wide smile on his face.

"Hi."

"What the fuck, man?" I snap, shoving him with my foot. "Get out of my truck!"

"What? My brother's late and I don't feel like standing in the rain," he defends himself, shoving my foot away from him.

"And what ever gave you the idea you could impose on me like this?" I say incredulously, sitting up a little straighter so as to distance myself as much as I can in this cramped space.

"You were alone," he shrugs.

"Yeah, and don't you think there's a reason for that?" I say sarcastically.

"It can't be because of your charming personality," he says, winking at me.

"Fuck. Off." I say clearly and slowly, narrowing my eyes at him.

"Fine," he says indifferently, opening the door. He stands in the rain and looks back at me. "But I still like the nose ring."

I open my mouth to retort but he simply closes the door and walks away, shoving his hands in his pockets. When he gets to the silver Volvo where the big guy that was making out at lunch and the tiny girl that kicked him are waiting he turns and smiles at me again.

_What the hell, man?_

* * *

><p>I can't seem to get that Edward out of my head all night. When I finish my picture of the Arizona landscape, I turn the page and just start drawing. I'm halfway done when I realize I've drawn a hand and on closer inspection, I see that it's actually Edward's hand. I turn the page angrily, glad that I'm terrible at faces and that I won't start accidentally drawing it. But I can remember the sharp angle of his jaw, covered in stubble, ending in perfectly shaped lips below a straight nose and—<p>

_Whoa! Swan! Get a grip!_

I toss my sketch book across the bed, mad that my evening of distraction is ruined by someone who's not even there. I stand and go to my window, shaking out a smoke.

Just as I'm lighting up, my cell rings and I'm not surprised to see that it's Mom.

"Hey," I answer, taking a drag.

"Bella, are you smoking?" Mom says in a stern voice, obviously hearing the crackle of the paper burning.

_Shit_.

"No, I told you I quit," I lie easily, scrubbing out my cigarette on the windowsill and saving what's left to finish when I'm off the phone. "What's up?"

"Just checking in, seeing how your first day went," she says cheerfully.

"Fine." Just as fine as anyone can be when they're banished from their home.

"Bella," Mom says soothingly, knowing me well enough to figure out when I'm not saying everything I'm thinking. "You know why we sent you there."

"Yeah, I know," I sigh, though she doesn't know the whole story. All she knows is that I'd been acting out for years and that the final straw was when I broke a lamp over my step-dad's head. She thought I was just drunk. I never told her my real reason.

Mom and I chit-chat for a while, though I know she sees through my stories about all the friends I made and the great classes but, thankfully, she accepts it for the time being.

The second we hang up I light up again, glad that the next day is Friday and that after I make it through the day, I'll have the whole weekend to myself to _not_ think of Edward.

Yeah, right.

* * *

><p>Friday is about the same as Thursday. I ignore everyone and they ignore me. Except at lunch when Mike has the nerve to try to talk to me about the dance that's coming up. I stare at him blankly until I make him so uncomfortable that he looks away, posing his questions to the blonde bimbo he sits next to, Jessica.<p>

I'm dreading Biology. At lunch, I thought I heard someone at the table mention something about blood types and it got my attention. I turned my music off and listened intently but whoever said it wasn't elaborating. I had turned the music back on, but lower, hoping that the subject would be brought up again.

I don't even bother to try sketching before Biology starts. I'm too nervous about what I heard. I tap my pencil against the black lab table, jiggling one leg on the stool. I don't even acknowledge Edward when he comes in; I'm too busy looking for Mr. Banner to enter the room.

"What's got you all keyed up?" Edward asks.

"What are we doing in class today?" I ask anxiously, too tense to even try to act like my normal bitchy self to him.

"Let me check," he answers, looking at me strangely as he pulls out his notebook.

He doesn't get a chance to check. Mr. Banner walks in, balancing a couple of boxes.

"Please turn your books to page forty seven," Mr. Banner says, hooking up the overhead projector and wheeling it into the center of the room. "Mike, please pass out the slides."

My pulse pounds in my ears as I turn to the requested page. My hands start shaking so badly that I can't grab page forty six to turn to forty seven. I can feel my chest straining against the fitted flannel shirt I'm wearing and I'm tempted to unbutton it just so I can breathe.

"Are you alright?" Edward asks next to me but I can barely hear him.

Page forty seven: blood types.

"Bella? What's wrong?" Edward asks, reaching out to me; he stops, his fingers hovering at my shoulder as I shake my head quickly.

"I can't do this," I whisper, my voice cracking a little.

I hear Mr. Banner give the instructions and everyone but Edward pays close attention. Edward keeps his eyes trained on my face; I just can't stop looking at that fucking word.

Blood.

My heart is racing so fast it hurts and my breath is coming in short gasps.

"Bella, you need to relax," Edward says next to me in a quiet voice, leaning closer. "What happened to your hand?"

"What?" I gasp, tearing my gaze away from my book to stare incredulously at Edward. He looks genuinely concerned but the question is so random.

"I'm trying to distract you," he says slowly, gesturing to my bruised hand lying on the table between us. "How did you hurt your hand?"

"Um I... I Uh..."

I watch Mike at the front of the class jump in his seat as he pricks his finger. I try to swallow but my mouth tastes like sand.

"Focus, Bella," Edward coaxes, leaning forward into my line of sight.

I give my head a little shake, closing my eyes and trying not to breathe through my nose so that I don't inhale that smell of rust and salt. It doesn't matter—I can practically taste it on my tongue.

"You're not focusing," Edward scolds.

"Why do you give a shit?" I say breathlessly, wondering if my shaking legs can carry me out of here. I flinch, my eyes snapping open as Jessica squeals and giggles when she pricks her finger.

Shit.

She's only one seat away from me. I can smell it now.

I can feel the beginning of a panic attack as my head starts to spin and I can't control my breathing as it echoes loudly in my ears, sounding like gushing water. I vaguely hear Edward growl as he reaches toward me.

My head whips around toward him.

"What the hell are you doing?" I demand but I still sound too winded to sound hostile.

Edward picks up my sketchbook and I momentarily panic, worried he'll recognize the hand that I drew. But he simply opens it right to the middle where the pages are thankfully blank. He sets the book in front of me and gently folds a pencil into my hand.

"Draw a cactus," he directs me and when I try to protest he points to the blank page firmly.

I quickly make a rough sketch of the plant, not bothering to add any detail or a background. As I'm drawing, Edward starts arranging the materials for our lab. I keep my head down, letting my hair swing forward to block my view of his actions.

"Have you ever been stuck by a cactus?" he asks me casually.

"Of course I have," I answer tersely.

"Tell me what happened?"

I take a deep breath through my mouth, changing my mind about the drawing and adding shading around the plant to keep up the distraction. It's actually working. My head is spinning less and the voices around me are becoming clearer.

"I ate shit on my motorcycle and slid into it," I say, wondering what the point is.

"Did you freak out then? When you saw the blood, I mean. "

"No, that was just an accident." I use my finger to blend the edges of the cactus and then begin a shorter one next to it.

"Caught you too off guard?"

I nod my head once, erasing a line that veered the wrong way as my hands started to shake again at his question.

"It really wasn't too bad," I mumble, trying not to relive the accident—it was worse than I was letting on. I had needed six stitches in my leg.

"What about your nose ring?" he continues thoughtfully.

"No blood," I smirk at him. I'm so caught up in my drawing by now that I don't notice Mr. Banner glaring at us. But my hand does falter on the page when Edward pulls out the instrument to puncture our fingers and moves closer.

"Did it hurt?" he asks curiously.

"Not really," I frown. "But the pain is different for everyone and a lot of it is in the head. If you think it'll hurt, then it will."

"That makes sense," Edward says, pulling the pencil out if my hand. "Keep that in mind."

"What the fuck?" I say in outrage.

I almost snatch it back until I see the pick in his hand. My hands automatically start sweating.

"Were your eyes open or closed when you pierced your nose?" he asks softly.

"Uh... Clo-closed," I stutter, staring at the pick.

"Eyes on me," Edward breathes.

I raise my eyes to his and stare into the depths of green. He leans forward slightly and I can actually count his eyelashes.

"Just stay with me," he whispers, his warm breath wafting over my face; I nod stupidly.

I match my breathing to his and concentrate on only the air rushing slowly into my lungs and out through my parted lips. I study his pale features for any sign of a reaction to what he's doing but I find nothing. His eyes don't even stray from mine until he suddenly reaches out for something.

I'm slow to react and look just in time to see him wrapping a band-aid around the pointer finger of his left hand. The slide with his drop of blood is already across the black table top.

"Still doing alright?" he asks, scooting even closer.

"Sure. But I'm assuming it's my turn now," I say with a shaky laugh, swallowing thickly.

"I'll help you." He reaches out to me and then pauses. "Can I touch you?"

"Uh... Yeah," I answer uncertainly, surprised that he asked permission.

He places one hand on the center of my back and I find myself oddly comfortable with it. He slowly moves his hand up my back as I breath in, stopping at my shoulder blades, and moving it back down to the center again as I breathe out. My skin tingles pleasantly as my nerves calm.

Edward carefully places the pick in my left hand and turns my right hand over. He holds my hand lightly, his thumb resting on my bruised knuckles. His fingers are oddly cold and smooth but it feels soothing on my purple skin.

"Now, place the pick on your finger," he says, his breath tickling my ear. I feel a quiver of both pleasure and apprehension roll up my spine.

I place the sharp edge against my skin, keeping my breathing steady with Edward's stroking. His fingers tighten on my hand and I wince but I don't stop him. He's giving me another distraction.

"Close your eyes," he orders and I comply.

I suck in a deep breath and concentrate on the burning sensation in my hand as I press down on the tip of my finger. I barely feel the sting and wonder if I missed until Edward presses my finger to a slide and removes his hand from my back to swiftly bandage the puncture. I slowly open my eyes as Edward moves the slides across the table. He replaces his hand on my back.

"Breathe, please," he says with a light chuckle.

I let out a big gust of air and feel myself sway.

"Fuck," I mumble as Edward steadies me.

"Are you okay?" he asks anxiously.

"Shit, I'm blacking out."

The room starts to get dark as though I'm staring down a long tunnel. The rushing sound in my ears is back, drowning out everything else in the room. All the blood drains out of my body, leaving me shivering with cold. The blackness around the edges of my eyes is closing in.

"Oh shit," Edward mumbles, grabbing my wrist to feel my pulse. "Fuck, Bella, your heart is racing. Just give me a minute and we'll get out if here."

"What?"

I can barely hear him. He sounds like he's both whispering and shouting at the same time. I try to tell him this but he tightens his cool grip on my wrist, keeping up a stream of quiet conversation as he finishes the lab one handed. I focus on the sound of his velvet voice; the longer I listen the clearer it gets.

He suddenly let's go and my fingers twitch, wanting his touch back. But now that my head is clearing up, I can't remember why I liked it.

"Mr. Banner," Edward says in a loud, clear voice that startles me. "Bella and I are finished, may we be excused early?"

I fully expect him to say no as he frowns at me but apparently Edward is his favorite so after telling us the homework, he waves us out the door. I stand in a daze, my knees wobbling beneath me. Edward places his hand on my elbow, making my skin prickle pleasantly again, and grabs my things.

He leads me out the door and once we get to the lockers, I try to shake him off.

"Fuck off, Edward," I say, feeling an odd thrill at saying his name.

He chuckles and holds out my bag.

"You're welcome," he says politely, giving me a crooked smile.

"Whatever," I mumble, taking my bag and heading for the parking lot.

Edward catches up in a few long strides, keeping close to my side as I stumble toward the parking lot.

"Are you still feeling lightheaded?" he asks and though I am, I ignore him.

I reach my truck and Edward stands by the driver's door expectantly, watching me with a confused look as I continue to the bed of the truck. When he sees me open the tailgate and turn my back, bracing the palms of my hands on the edge, he understands and comes around to stand next to me.

"Want some help?" he offers, taking a step towards me.

"No," I say shortly, shifting my weight to my hands.

I bend my knees and prepare to lift myself into the truck bed but my hand sears with pain.

"Ah shit, mother fucker, son of a bitch!" I cry, clutching my injured hand to my chest and sucking a sharp breath in through my teeth.

Edward lets out a snort and I glare at him. He rolls his eyes and sighs heavily.

Before I can stop him, he grabs my waist and lifts me easily into the truck bed. Without a word, he jumps up next to me.

"Jackass," I mutter; he just laughs.

I carefully scoot backward and turn sideways, leaning my back against the side of the truck. Edward mirrors my pose so I pull my feet closer to my body, away from him. I glance at the school to make sure the cab of the truck is blocking me and take out my pack of smokes.

I barely get one out when Edward lunges at me, snatching the pack out of my hands.

"Hey!" I protest. He ignores me, shakes out his own cigarette and tosses the pack back at me. "Fucker..."

He snickers and puts the cigarette between his lips, motioning at me to pass over the lighter I'm using. I frown but toss it to him anyways. I take a long drag on my lit cigarette and lean my head back to let the misty rain wash my sweaty face clean. I groan internally; usually the nicotine soothes my nerves better than anything else but its nothing compared to his touch.

Shit. I did _not_ just think that…

"You gonna tell me?" Edward suddenly asks. I keep my head tilted back but look at him from under my lashes.

"Tell you what?" I grumble, knowing I owe him at least a little something for his help. I had hoped the smoke would be enough.

"Your hand," he clarifies, sucking on his cigarette. I can't help but enjoy the way he blows the smoke out of the corner of his pursed lips.

"Punched a wall, it punched back," I say with a straight face, putting the cigarette between my lips again. I blow the smoke directly at Edward.

"Smart," he says, raising his eyebrow at me. I tilt my head back down to glare at him but he glares right back so I turn my face away. "Can I ask you something?"

"No, you cannot fuck me," I answer bluntly.

"Well, shit, there goes my afternoon," Edward says seriously, snapping his fingers. I glower at him again.

"Fine, what?" I snap when he doesn't ask his question.

"Two questions, actually," he clarifies and I gesture for him to continue. "How'd it go when you got your nose pierced?"

"You're really fascinated with this thing, aren't you?" I ask, pointing to the jewel on the right side of my nose. He shrugs. I sigh and continue, "I nearly passed out."

"No shit?" he says, raising his eyebrows at me.

"Yeah, well," I say, embarrassed. I look away again to take another drag. "I hyped myself up for it to hurt real bad and when I got into the chair the guy doing it had all these piercings and tattoos all over his face so I asked if nose piercings hurt. He went into this long spiel about how pain is all in the mind."

Edward laughed with me, both of us breathing smoke in and then out.

"So anyways, right when he was about to do it, I closed my eyes, bracing myself for pain, but it didn't really hurt at all. It just felt like a pinch, like an ear piercing. When I opened my eyes again, the guy just kept talking like nothing happened. But then I told him that the room was getting dark and that I couldn't hear him."

"How'd he calm you down?" Edward asks, obviously interested. He actually leans forward, resting his elbows on his bent knees and clasping his hands together, his cigarette balanced between his fingers.

"Same way you did," I shrug, flicking my spent cigarette onto the wet asphalt. "He kept talking to me until I relaxed again. My adrenaline was up too high going in so when nothing happened, it drained so fast from my body that my head couldn't handle it."

Edward nods, taking the last smoke from his cigarette and tossing it with mine. I feel oddly comfortable and vulnerable around Edward at the moment but decide to blame it all on my light-headedness.

"You had another question?" I ask slowly.

"Huh? Oh right," Edward says, pulling himself out of his thoughts. "What happened with your motorcycle?"

"Oh, that," I laugh. "It was a piece of shit. I didn't know enough about bikes to fix it and one day the brakes gave out and…"

I trail off, waving my hands in the direction of my backpack that holds my drawing pad with the picture of the cacti. He nods again and we lapse into an awkward silence that's mercifully interrupted by the bell. I slide out of the truck with a groan.

"Damn it, I don't want to go to English class," I grumble as Edward slides out next to me and slams the tailgate closed for me.

"What's wrong with English class?" he asks with a laugh, grabbing our bags and handing me mine. I'm finding it a little strange how polite he's being to me with all the times I've told him to fuck off.

"It's shit boring when you've read all the books before," I tell him, striding off to class. He follows again.

"That sucks," he says, unexpectedly brushing my arm with the back of his fingers. I barely even flinch. "See you tomorrow."

"Wait, what?" I stop in the middle of the walkway, causing a few students to veer around me, grumbling. I call after Edward, "What do you mean?"

Edward smirks at me over his shoulder and keeps walking. The final bell rings and I run into English class, swearing under my breath.

As Mr. Berty writes the itinerary for the day on the board, I pull out my sketchbook, intending to tear out the picture Edward ordered me to draw. My hand freezes over the page when I see something written in tidy scrawl above the larger of the two cacti I drew.

_Check your phone._

I gasp and dig in the front pouch of my backpack for my phone. I didn't hear it ring because I had put it on silent but it's blinking to indicate a waiting message. I flip it open to see Edward's name on the screen.

"Holy shit!" I whisper, pressing the read button.

_Today was interesting._

I glance up at Mr. Berty, who still has his back turned to the class, and type out a quick reply.

_Fucking sticky fingers._

I click the buttons on the side of my phone to change the setting to vibrate and hold it tightly in my hands on my lap as it buzzes just seconds after I sent my text.

_You know it. ;)_

I shake my head, fighting back a smile.

_Take my shit again and I'll treat you like I treated that wall._

_ You lost that fight. What makes you think I won't fight back?_

I gape at the phone and consider ignoring him. I shouldn't be indulging him in his fascination with stalking me. The phone buzzes again.

_I still like the nose ring._

I huff and toss the phone into my bag. I take out the day's reading assignment and try to lose myself in the story. But in the back of my head I'm berating myself for allowing some random guy to invade himself into my personal space.

Even if I did secretly enjoy it.

**A/N:**

** I hope you enjoyed chapter one enough to keep reading! I had many stories popping into my head over the past few months but this one really stuck with me! Oh and there is some slight truth here… The story of Bella nearly passing out when she got her nose pierced is what happened to me when I got my tongue pierced—almost exactly! **

** Reviews are lovely! Please tell me if I should keep going. ;) And tell me, too, what was your best subject in school that you didn't have to try hard to pass? Mine has always been English! Go figure, I'm a writer!**


	2. Chapter 2: Hear You Me

**Still with me? I hope so! It gets a little steamy here but I think you'll be surprised… and I'm not sure if everyone will like it. Never fear, it'll turn out okay, trust me.**

**Disclaimer: I own three pairs of skinny jeans, countless bellybutton rings that I never wear and the pink Disney princess coffee mug you are about to meet, but that's it. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2: Hear You Me<strong>

I will never understand what people see in sports.

When I get home from school, Charlie is shouting at some basketball or football game. I can't tell the difference between the shit anyways.

I slide past him, into the kitchen, checking my phone the second I get in there. I refuse to take the bait if Edward texts me again, nor will I start the shit up again, but I can't help but anticipate another message from him.

But there are no new messages.

I set my phone on the counter, determined to ignore it and gather the ingredients for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I almost forget about the phone until I'm about to leave the kitchen. It scares the crap out of me as it vibrates loudly across the counter.

"Geez," I mutter, snatching it up.

My palms are slippery with nervous sweat at the idea of Edward messaging me again but I breathe a sigh as relief to see that it's my old friend Jacob.

_I demand to know what's taking you so long to get your ass over to the reservation!_

I snicker and type out a reply.

_Chill the fuck out man. Be over in a few, keep your panties on._

_You do the opposite._

I roll my eyes at his crassness. But that's just the way we work.

Charlie doesn't even bother to look away from his game to okay my trip out to La Push. I pull my hood up against the rain and get into my truck.

My twenty minute ride out to the Quileute Res is familiar and I drive my ancient truck as fast as I can push it, eating my snack quickly and anxious to be back somewhere comfortable.

Jake is waiting for me on the front porch, his long shiny black hair pulled into a ponytail at the nape of his neck. Even before I cut the engine, Jake bounds across the yard and yanks me out of the truck, crushing me to his chest.

"It's been too long, Swan!" he cries in my ear.

"Can't breathe, Black!" I gasp against his chest.

He laughs and pulls away, holding me at arm's length. His smile slips off his face as he takes me in.

"Shit what happened to you?"

"Shut up jerk," I frown and punch his arm left handed.

"Sorry, it's just so different," he shrugs. "You never used to wear any makeup and now... How much eyeliner do you go through in a week?"

"Yeah yeah keep it up, Jake," I say, playfully shoving him.

"Damn a nose ring too?" he crows when I turn to the side.

"Ah not you too," I grumble. He shoots me an inquisitive look but I just shake my head.

The rain lets up so we make our way out towards the beach and when we hit the sand, Jake casually takes my hand. This is how out relationship has been for as long as I can remember. We've spent almost every summer together up until the last two years and we're about as close as two people can be.

"So you have some explaining to do," Jake says, nudging my shoulder. "Where have you been? It's been almost two years! Geez I can't believe how different you are."

"I can say the same about you," I say, nudging him back. "You on steroids now? You're fucking buff, man!"

Jacob laughs, leading us to a group of logs surrounding an open space for a bonfire. I remember the last time we were here and wonder if there was a reason why he stopped here.

Jake sits on one of the logs, pulling me down next to him and wraps his arm securely around my waist. I forgot how freakishly warm his body was.

"I'm just filling out, Bella," he says softly, brushing my hair behind my shoulder. "You know, growing up."

Things start just as they used to. Jake leans in, peppering my cheek with hot, wet kisses, and slowly makes his way closer to my lips. Unlike last time, though, I'm not feeling it and turn my head to the side. I run my hand up his hard chest, feeling the sharp contours of his newly defined muscles, until I reach his hot neck. He pulls back gently at my hesitation, frowning slightly.

"What's wrong?" he asks in a disappointed voice.

"Things have... Changed," I say uncertainly.

"What things?" he asks sharply, leaning farther away and I know he's wondering if there's a guy.

"It's just been a while," I say with a smile, twirling his ponytail around my fingers. "Like you said, we're older now. Things like this just aren't as simple."

He tries to smile back but I still see the sadness within his dark eyes. We sit on the logs for a while, and the silence is a little strained. Jake keeps his arm firmly around me as the afternoon cools down to evening.

"Oh I almost forgot," he says suddenly, digging in his pockets. He pulls out a couple of small pills. "Going up?"

I roll my eyes and pinch one of the pills between my fingers.

For once I'm having my doubts about getting high; I'm such a different person when I am and I have a feeling that's Jake's plan.

I look up at him from under my lashes. He throws back his pill easily, leaning his head back and moaning quietly.

"Fuck it," I mutter and swallow the pill.

We wait a couple minutes for the drugs to hit our system and then slowly make our way back to Jacob's house. By the time we get there, we're laughing hysterically at nothing but we try to sober up when we see Charlie's cruiser in his driveway.

We enter the kitchen snickering and start to shove each other to get the chair we want for dinner. I can see Charlie looking at me curiously, probably wondering about my strangely upbeat mood.

Jacob and I finish eating quickly and disappear into his room to listen to music. He waits until our parents become fully immersed in some kind of sports game—seriously, how can they all be so interesting?—and then makes another move.

I lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling and tapping my toe to the beat as Jake lies down next to me, propping his head up on his arm with a goofy smile on his face. He starts twirling my hair around his fingers the way I had to him.

"I like the purple streak in your hair," he murmurs, sliding the chunk of violet hidden in the underneath of my hair between his fingers. I hum drowsily.

He leans in and nibbles my ear; I giggle involuntarily and roll over until I'm sitting up. I try to casually distance myself from him, leaning my back against the wall and folding my knees up to my chest. I can feel the pill wearing off already and I think Jake can tell.

He reaches down into the space between the wall and his bed and pulls out a clear bottle of vodka.

"Welcome home," he whispers, smiling as he untwists the cap.

_Damn this boy knows how to pull me under to get what he wants_.

But again I know this is just how we work.

It takes a quarter of the bottle to get me buzzed enough to let him start nuzzling my neck. I don't let him kiss me the way he wants though and he whines like a wounded puppy; I sigh heavily and down another quarter of the bottle.

My head instantly goes from pleasantly fuzzy to spinning wildly. My vision is so blurry that I have to let Jake take over but it suits him. He lunges for me, his lips attacking mine, and I'm too far gone to do more than lazily kiss him back. He shoves his tongue roughly into my mouth and I barely react. He grabs at my sides, running his hands up my ribs. He gets close to my tits and I shift slightly to redirect his hands lower.

I'm not too fucked up to remember I don't like being touched up there.

Jake doesn't seem to care much and automatically starts undoing my pants. I do the same to him and next thing I know, we're both in our underwear. He gropes my ass, groaning loudly into my mouth.

"Shirt off," I mumble into his lips.

He obliges, ripping off his own shirt and then bending low to undo the buttons on mine. I'm not sure if I want to let him see anything right now but I'm distracted by his bare chest. I run my hands over his chiseled pecs, tracing the defined circles. I go lower, counting his ab muscles that are easy to see, even in the semi-darkness. He has an eight pack.

He shivers involuntarily at my touch and runs his finger down my stomach to my bellybutton, where I have it pierced with a black jewel. He's too preoccupied to realize he hasn't undone my bra. Thank fuck for that.

"Fuck Bella," Jake whispers huskily. "You're freaking hot."

I smile, pulling his neck down to me. I feel him grinding his hardness against me and I don't give a shit. The room is spinning, the light and shadows melting into one another and making strange patterns. I hear the music we had put on still playing quietly but can't make out the words over our frantic panting. Jake tries to feel my tits again and I shake my head against his lips.

He pulls back just enough to look at me quizzically and I take the opportunity to shove him onto his back. I can tell he's not as drunk as I am by the way he gives me such a hurt and rejected look. If he had been more gone he would have just pulled me with him.

I quickly straddle his hips before he can suggest stopping and he smiles as I hover over him, running my palms up and down his defined muscles. My sudden move makes my head whirl even more, the hard muscles under my hands blurring and dancing before my eyes. I feel almost like I'm on a rocking boat on a stormy sea; my whole body sways from side to side.

"Nice," I say appreciatively, mostly about how I feel but Jacob thinks I'm talking about him and smiles wider.

I pin his hands down above his head and start biting his neck, making him moan and press his body up against me. I rub my lower body against his roughly, relishing in the feel of the friction. Our underwear is so thin that I can feel every throb of his dick between my legs.

After that, I don't remember much. The kisses and touches blur together and I don't doubt it if I blacked out a few times.

Next thing I know, the room is dark and I'm under the covers with Jake. My head is only a little fuzzy so I only slept enough to loop back around to feeling pleasantly buzzed.

Jake's arm is pinning to the bed, making me sweat and wonder what the hell we did. Judging by the way he's still hard and I'm only a little sore on the outside but not the inside, all we did was grind. I don't think I'd ever be able to look at him again if we fucked—no matter how high or drunk I was.

I carefully untangle myself from his grasp and sit up, swaying a little. I grope around in the dark and find my clothes and keys; my fingers brush against cool glass and the empty Vodka bottle rolls across the floor. I kick it under the bed to hide it from Jake's dad and pick up my pants. I fumble into them, tripping a few times, and turn back to Jake.

Sleeping, he looks like the innocent little boy I used to know from my childhood, back before we used to do all this stupid shit. I don't even know how it got started. I remember his buds, Embry and Jared, going on about French kissing when they were about nine and I was eleven. We probably started experimenting around then. This was back when I used to come to Forks every summer and Jake and I were inseparably.

Once I hit high school I put a stop to spending summers with daddy and though Jake and I still talked constantly and fooled around a bit when I'd come for a few weeks, it just didn't seem right when he started dating. Last I heard, he was hanging out with some chick named Leah but between getting wasted and tongue fucking, I didn't think to ask.

I sigh heavily, kiss his temple and go out to my truck. I know it's stupid to drive home buzzed but its late enough that the roads are clear and I get lucky and it's not too foggy.

I yawn the whole way home, shaking my head at the way the evening went, and decide I should probably have a talk about how things should work with Jake. It used to be our norm to explore each other like we did tonight but like I tried to tell him, things have changed.

Things against my control. Things I wish I could erase from my memory forever.

* * *

><p>My eyes start drooping just a few miles out if town so when I finally make it home, I flop face first onto the couch, fully dressed. I'm asleep in seconds.<p>

I wake to a pounding sound. I pull a pillow over my head, wanting it to stop but it only gets louder, echoing painfully in my head. I groan and roll over.

The early morning light pierces through my eyes, sending a sharp pain through my skull. I hear the banging again and realize someone is at the door.

"Charlie!" I croak as loudly as I can, my voice crusted with sleep and stale liquor.

"Shower!" I hear Charlie yell from upstairs.

I groan again and slowly get to my feet. I shuffle to the door, slightly hunched over due to the cramping in my spine and shoulders from sleeping crooked on the couch. I ease open the front door, holding up my hand to shield my eyes from the glare.

The sun is behind whoever is standing in front of me, casting them in shadow. My head is throbbing from the light. I cover my eyes and take a step back into the darkened entryway.

"What?" I gripe.

A voice chuckles.

Oh shit it can't be...

"Good morning, sunshine," Edward says in a voice as smooth as velvet. I drop my hand and squint into the brightness.

"Holy fucking shit! What the hell are you doing here?" I demand.

"I come over every Saturday to help out your dad," Edward says calmly, taking a step into the doorway. His reddish hair is tangled and windblown, his emerald eyes sparkling in amusement. He lifts the corner of his mouth into a lopsided grin, as though he's smirking at me.

I suddenly remember that I slept on the couch and that I probably look like a woodland creature that just crept out of its hole. Edward confirms my fear.

"Don't you look like a cute little raccoon that just came out of the woods," he snickers, touching my wildly tangled hair with the tips of his fingers. "Got any twigs and berries saved in there?"

I smack his hand away with a scowl, though I secretly felt a twinge of excitement at his casual touch. The sudden movement of my arm sends a shooting pain through my shoulder; I reach back and massage my shoulder to try to relieve the pain. Edward frowns slightly and lets himself in, closing the door loudly behind him. I cringe as the pain lances through my head again and growl quietly. Edward only glances over his shoulder at me, smirking again, and sits himself down on the couch. I narrow my eyes and trudge up the stairs.

I meet Charlie when I get to the top. He smiles at me brightly.

"Oh good, is Edward here?" he asks cheerfully.

"Yup," I grunt at him. He doesn't comment on my sour mood, though I hear him laugh as he goes to greet Edward.

I close myself into the bathroom, leaving the light off and turning on the shower. I sit down on the closed toilet seat, pressing the heels of my hands against my eyes. When I open them, they've adjusted to the darkness and though there's a tiny sliver of light gleaning from under the door, it's not quite enough. I don't want to turn on the light so I rummage in the drawer under the sink and uncover the old night-light that Charlie used to keep plugged in. The soft, crimson glow casts enough light for me to shower by without having to subject myself to more excruciating pain.

I study myself closely in the mirror by the low light and sure enough, I do look like a raccoon. My dark eye make-up is smudged thickly around my eyes and running down my face unattractively. My hair looks like a bird nested in it; I try to brush through it quickly and the snarls tear at my scalp.

After I locate the Asprin bottle by feel and swallow a couple of pills, I undress and step under the hot stream of water, saturating every inch of my body. The lack of light is soothing and I stand with my back directly under the pounding water to try to ease the tense muscles.

I know Charlie will gripe at me for using up all the water, and normally I wouldn't care, but I don't want to deal with it today. Luckily, I don't feel terribly nauseous but my head is still sore. I need coffee.

I spend a few minutes lining my eyes in my usual dark eyeliner and fan my lashes out with black mascara. I grab the first clean t-shirt I can find and throw on a pair of skinny jeans but don't bother with shoes yet. A glance out the window shows it's only partly cloudy with a weak sun peaking through but it might as well be snowing out to me. I shiver and pull on a pair of mismatched socks and my black hoodie and shuffle down the stairs.

I forgot Edward came over and grimace when I see him in the kitchen. He has his back to me while something sizzles on the stove. He doesn't have his jacket on anymore and I'm momentarily distracted his lean shoulders. He turns when he hears me and I look away, but not before noticing how muscular his biceps are.

"What are you doing?" I grumble, folding my arms across my chest.

"Making breakfast, of course," he smiles and points to the table with his spatula.

I frown at his bossiness but sit down anyways, keeping my arms and legs tightly locked.

A cup appears in front of my face. It's my pink coffee cup with all of the Disney princesses painted on it. I look up to see Edward holding it expectantly. I don't want to take it but the rich aroma drifting out of it is irresistible.

It tastes even better than it smells. I don't usually drink my coffee black, however, it was made so perfectly that I can't help but down the whole cup in seconds. Edward is suddenly at my side with the pot. He refills the mug, puts down a plate in front of me and then sits across from me with his own.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I ask. He made pancakes and the smell alone is making my mouth water.

"Isn't it obvious?" he smirks, digging into his food.

With a sigh, I pick up my fork and cut off a small piece, wary that the syrup will upset my stomach. I slide the bite into my mouth and chew carefully. It goes down easy in my tender stomach and I start to eat faster.

"So what the hell _are_ you doing here?" I ask around a mouthful of food.

"I told you," he says, taking a sip of coffee. "I come every Saturday to help out your dad."

"But why does he need your help?" I ask with a raised eyebrow, shoving another forkful of pancakes into my mouth.

"He threw his back out last year, Bella," he says as though I'm purposely acting dense.

"Oh, right," I say stupidly, looking down at my plate.

We finish our breakfast in awkward silence. Edward clears the table, pours me more coffee with a smile and heads out to talk to Charlie.

Most of the work Edward does for Charlie is yard work so I stay inside and do much needed cleanup in the most occupied rooms. Strangely enough, I actually enjoy housework. I clean the kitchen first and then move on to the bathroom upstairs. I feel hot and sweaty when I lock myself into my bedroom so I throw my hair up into a ponytail to unpack the rest of my clothes and take a much needed smoke break.

I push open the window wide and lean my elbows on the sill. I look down in surprise and see that the old tree-house that Charlie and I built together when I was little is still standing, as are the wooden steps I nailed to the thick branch leading to my window. I added these when times started getting harder and I wanted to be able to escape to the tree-house without Charlie hearing me leave the room.

I smile and swing my leg out the window, testing the branch with my toes. It holds and I carefully climb out and across the branch.

The house is an even five by five square with only one window with thick shutters to block out the rain and an open space for a door with an overhang to protect the wooden ladder leading up to it. I still remember being short enough to stand straight in this house but now I'm four inches too tall for that.

I'm surprised to see my old bean bag chair still in the corner farthest from the window and door next to my wooden box where I kept my books. I didn't come up here the last few times I came to visit so I don't know if the box is still filled.

I prod the bean bag with my socked toe. It's still dry so I sit down, scooting my butt around so that it forms a chair molded perfectly to by body, and lift the creaking lid to my treasure box, as I used to call it.

My collection of my most cherished books is still stashed. I run my finger along the spines and pull out my much abused copy of Romeo and Juliet. I crack it open to a random act and lean back to read for a while.

Halfway through the third act, I remember I came out here to smoke. I pull my pack out of my pocket, my eyes still on the page, and feel around for a cigarette. I can't seem to find one so I look down into the small cardboard box. It's empty.

"Aw, fucking shit!" I shout and toss the box out the door and my book at my feet.

I jump in surprise as the box coming soaring back in, landing at my feet. I lean forward, worried that it was Charlie throwing them back at me. But then a messy crop of reddish hair appears in the door.

"Hi there," Edward says, climbing into the tree-house.

"Shit, you scared me," I snap, clutching my chest.

"Sorry," he says sarcastically, sitting down in the center of the house and bending his legs at the knees. He gives me one of his crooked smiles and I try not to react, though my heart just skipped a beat.

"What the fuck do you want?" I ask, picking up my book and opening it again. I shift on the bean bag, trying to get into a more comfortable position. My lower back is throbbing worse than that morning after my morning of cleaning and I wince, shifting again and rolling my shoulders back, trying to work out the kinks.

"Well, I brought you something."

He holds up a fresh pack of smokes and when I reach out a hand to make a grab for them, my shoulders ache again. Edward pulls his hand back and holds up the index finger of his other hand.

"I want something in return," he says and I groan.

"Fine, you can share with me," I say, rolling my eyes and hold out my hand expectantly.

"That's a given," he says with a laugh.

"I'm not fucking you today either," I say, narrowing my eyes.

"Damn, today is not my day either," he jokes and I accidentally snort. This makes him smile and continue seriously, "I'd like to make you feel better."

"Excuse me?" I raise both eyebrows now, folding my arms across my chest. "No fucking of any kind is going on today, thank you very much."

"Shit, you have a dirty mind," Edward shakes his head. "I meant that I wanted to give you a massage. You slept on the couch last night, didn't you?"

"So what if I did?" I say defiantly, curious how he knows.

"Well, it probably wasn't all that comfortable," he says softly, leaning forward slightly.

I fidget on the bean bag chair, the ache in my body more evident at the thought of getting all the kinks worked out. But I don't feel comfortable with a guy touching me in any intimate way, especially one I don't know well. The last time this happened…

"I promise, I'll stop when you ask me too," Edward whispers. "And I'll tell you if I want to move my hands from your shoulders."

"Why do you give a shit?" I mumble, unable to meet his eyes.

"Honestly, I'm not sure." My head snaps up to see him frowning out the window. "I just know that when I saw you in pain… I just… Couldn't have that."

He slowly turns to look at me, his expression unbelievable soft and vulnerable. I feel the anger in my heart melt away at the genuinely kind look he's giving me. His piercing green eyes stare into my dark brown ones and in that look, I trust him. So, hesitantly, I nod.

Edward moves carefully across the tree-house, each move slightly hesitant as though he's afraid to spook me. My pulse speeds up as he moves to sit on the slightly raised bit of bean bag against my back. I scoot forward a couple inches to give him, and myself, some room. The bag depresses behind me, lifting me a little, as he puts his full weight on it.

I pull my legs up to my chest, hugging them to me. I breathe evenly, in through my nose and out through my mouth. I close my eyes and my shoulders tense as Edward gently puts his hands on them.

"Just relax," he breathes in my ear.

Tenderly, using barely any pressure, Edward rubs my shoulders for a few minutes and then makes his way down my arms, not going past my elbows. He makes the circuit a good dozen times until I relax my posture and then uses his thumbs to rub circles just below and up my neck; his hands still don't leave the tops of my shoulders and arms.

Almost unwillingly I'm enjoying myself. There isn't anything incredibly sexual about the way he's touching me and it really is helping. My shoulders feel warm and lose but that only makes the pain in my back feel that much worse.

"Can I move a little lower?" Edward says quietly, as though he can sense where the pain is still present.

"Uh… yeah," I breathe a little warily.

"Tell me when you're uncomfortable," he tells me, running the palms of his hands down my back. He stops in the middle and makes his way back up, not pressing hard again.

Slowly, he begins using his fingers to knead my skin and I instantly feel myself melt into his touch. My hands fall limp to the floor and my chin drops to my chest. He works slow and methodically, never going below the center of my back. But I want him too. That's where the most pain is.

"Lower?" I whisper, my voice shaking slightly.

He moves his hands down, still pressing with his thumbs. As soon as his fingers reach the bottom of my spine, a sharp pain rips through my body, making me hiss and arch my back. But it only lasts a few seconds as he carefully works his hands deep into the muscles. Warmth spreads through my back and I let out a low moan, completely dissolving from the inside out. I can literally feel my muscles unknitting themselves.

Edward keeps his hands moving smoothly up and down, rubbing harder in the spots that are tougher. My breath is coming deep and even and I don't doubt if I can fall asleep right now.

Edward eases off of the pressure bit by bit until he's barely touching me with the palms of his hands. He slows down to a stop with his hands on the tops of my arms. He leans forward and rests his chin on my shoulder.

"Better?" he whispers; I can hear the smile in his voice.

"I still don't understand why you care," I say quietly with my eyes still closed. I'm a little scared of what might happen if I turn and look at him when he's so close and I feel so at ease with him.

"I told you," he says, pulling away and getting off the bean bag. "I really don't know."

I open my eyes and watch him fold himself onto the floor again. He looks just as confused as I feel and I wait to see if he has anything more to say. I lean back against the bean bag, my whole body as light as air.

"I feel like…" he begins, frowning and looking off to the side again. "I feel like there's something you have hidden beneath your tough exterior. That deep down, you're a completely different person, a softer person. I know you keep people at arm's length but that you don't mean to. That what you really want is…"

"Is what?" I whisper over a lump in my throat.

Edward heaves a deep sigh and turns his gaze on me.

"Is for someone to take care of you," he finishes so quietly I almost can't hear him.

We sit silently, his jade green eyes locked on me. I can't look away. He finally breaks his stare and opens the pack of cigarettes that I had forgotten about.

"Anyways," he mumbles, smacking the pack against his palm before shaking two out. "What did you have planned for today?"

I shrug and watch him light both cigarettes, take a puff and hand one to me. I take it with shaking fingers and put it to my lips. Though Edward's amazing massage made me feel better physically, the moment he stopped, my nerves knotted right up. I hope the smoke will help me unwind again but I'm doubtful.

After a while, I hear Charlie calling Edward's name. He rises to a crouch, snuffs out his smoke in the abalone shell I use for an ashtray and turns to leave. He's almost out of sight down the ladder when I speak up.

"Can you do me a favor?" I ask, putting out my own cigarette nervously.

"Anything," he answers quickly.

"Can we leave all this here? In the tree-house?" I request, twisting my fingers in my lap and looking up at him through my lashes. I expect him to laugh at me. Instead, I find him smiling.

"Of course… my dark angel."

My jaw drops and I try to come up with a witty response but end up blushing furiously as Edward chuckles and disappears. I sit and stare stupidly at the doorway, not sure what to do next. I hear Edward start up the lawn mower; it jolts me into awareness. I put away my book and climb back into my bedroom, shaking my head.

How could Edward know I was hiding something? No one back home, not even my mom, had figured out that something was hurting me when it was actually happening. I cried on the phone to Jake more times than I can remember and though I never admitted what was truly wrong, for some reason he accepted that I just missed him. But I never cried like that before. He should have known that there was more going on.

And now, Edward and his piercing green eyes saw right through me, could see my true feelings even when I wasn't expressing them. I'm broken inside and it feels like he wants to fix me.

Now, I just need to decide whether or not I want to let him.

* * *

><p>I kept to my room the rest of the afternoon, hoping to avoid Edward. I tried to sketch but nothing came to me; I tried reading but I was too distracted, wondering if he was still here. Once the light started fading, my stomach growled and I realized I never did eat lunch.<p>

Assuming that Edward would leave when there was a lack of light to do yard work by, I decided to venture out for food.

I open my door cautiously, feeling like a fucking sneak in my own house as I peer around the corner, listening for any sign of Edward or even Charlie. When I don't hear anything, I fling open my door and hurry down the stairs.

I'm halfway down when Charlie and Edward walk in the front door, laughing loudly. I freeze, wondering if I can run back upstairs but both boys see me. I cross my arms over my chest and give them both the bitchiest look I can muster, just for the hell of it.

"Oh, hey Bella," Charlie says, his smile fading under my stare. "Edward was just recommending the newest burger over at The Lodge. How does that sound for dinner?"

"You know I don't eat meat, Charlie," I huff. Charlie frowns and rubs the back of his neck nervously.

"They have great salads, too," Edward says politely. "My sister, Alice, swears by their homemade ranch dressing."

He smiles pleasantly. When I scowl at him, he just winks. Charlie turns to him, his mood brightening again.

"Hey, thanks Edward!" he says cheerfully. "Would you like to join us?"

"No!" I blurt out without thinking. Both Charlie and Edward turn to me—Charlie looking confused and Edward smirking.

"That's okay, Charlie," Edward says smoothly, covering for me. "I promised my mom I'd be home in time to eat her famous spaghetti and meatballs."

"Maybe some other time, then," Charlie says with a laugh, patting him on the shoulder.

As Edward heads out the door, Charlie turns and shakes his head, still looking at me quizzically. Over his shoulder, Edward winks at me again and leaves, Charlie shutting the door behind him.

"You can at least _try_ to be nice to our neighbors," he says irritably, matching my stance.

"He's our fucking neighbor?" I say in disbelief, my eyes popping.

"Watch your language, and yes, he's our neighbor," Charlie says, shaking his head again. "Didn't he tell you that? He told me that you have biology together."

"No, he did not," I fume, narrowing my eyes at the front door as if staring hard enough will make him feel the burn of my anger.

"Maybe he thought you knew," Charlie suggests then looks at his watch. "So?"

"So, what?" I snap.

"Dinner? The Lodge?" Charlie says, waving his hand at the door.

"Yeah, alright," I sigh, rolling my eyes and heading back upstairs for my shoes.

When I get back down, the front door is open again and Charlie is waiting outside in his cruiser.

"Geez, fucker is hungry," I mumble as I step out into the ever-present gloom.

The Lodge is packed so Charlie and I get stuffed in a corner by the window. I try to stare out of it to avoid conversation with Charlie but it's fogged up with all the people crammed into the one tiny restaurant. Instead, I pull out my iPod. I'm just about to put the ear-buds in when Charlie reaches over and places his hand on the device.

"Just one night, Bella," he says quietly. "Can't you just chat with your old man?"

"As long as you don't force feed me dead animal," I mumble, shoving my iPod and ear-buds back into my sweatshirt pocket.

"So, how was school?" Charlie asks, looking over the menu.

"Fine," I answer shortly, looking at my own menu; they really do have a large selection of salads.

"Just 'fine'?" Charlie asks, folding up his menu. "Okay, then how have you been sleeping?"

"If the damn rain would quit, I'd sleep perfect," I mumble.

"Bella," Charlie says threateningly but doesn't get to finish as the waitress thankfully appears.

"Hey, there, Chief!" the girl says brightly and I look up in surprise to see the tiny girl from Edward's lunch table.

Up close, she looks just like my type: black skinny jeans, long-sleeved black shirt, dark makeup, and little silver skull earrings peeking out from under her disarray of spiky black hair. She smiles brightly at us and I can't help but give a small smile back.

"Hiya, Alice," Charlie says cheerfully. "Have you met my daughter, Bella?"

"No, but I saw her around school," she says, turning to me, her smile growing. "It's nice to see you again, Bella! I hate to be all business now, but as you can see we're packed… So what can I get you?"

"Iced tea, with lemon and a spinach salad with ranch dressing," I say promptly. Alice nods and looks at Charlie.

"Steak and potatoes for me," Charlie says, looking at me out of the corner of his eye as I wrinkle up my nose in disgust.

"And how would you like your cute little cow cooked?" Alice asks happily, making my jaw drop.

"Oh, Alice," Charlie sighs, shaking his head. "You too?"

"There is nothing wrong with not wanting to eat another living thing," Alice counters, crossing her thin arms.

"Well, it's not alive when I eat it," Charlie mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. When Alice and I gasp, he looks at us sheepishly. "Sorry! Um, I'll take it medium well."

Alice skips away and I turn to Charlie, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Told you I wasn't the only one that felt that way," I tell him but he just rolls his eyes.

We sit in strained silence, Charlie shredding toothpicks into pieces and me playing a game on my iPod under the table. When our food arrives, we both stop our activities hastily.

"One amazing spinach salad with delicious ranch dressing," Alice says, setting down a fucking huge salad in front of me. "And one dead animal on a plate."

I snort into my iced tea as Alice gives Charlie his food and smiles angelically. Charlie scowls slightly but doesn't say a damn word. Alice winks at me before hopping away again.

It's a good thing my dinner turns out so good—perfectly unwilted leaves, crisp cucumbers and heavenly dressing—because it means I can focus on it instead of the way Charlie keeps looking at me every thirty seconds, opening his mouth like he's going to say something but doesn't. It isn't until I'm nearly done that he clears his throat and finally fucking says something. Hell, I was about to strike up a conversation myself just so he'd stop opening and closing his mouth like a damn fish.

"I've been meaning to ask you, Bella," he says slowly, pushing around the potatoes on his plate. "Do you think, while you're here, you can take out that nose ring?"

My head snaps up but Charlie keeps his eyes on his own plate.

"You're kidding right?" I ask in disbelief, half-laughing.

"Come on, kid," he says quietly, looking around to see if anyone is listening. He leans forward slightly. "You're the daughter of the chief of police."

"So what?" I snap at full volume. "It's my choice. Why should I have to take it out?"

"It just doesn't… look right," he mumbles, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "And you really are so much prettier without it. And all that eyeliner, really… It just hides your big brown eyes."

"I get it," I say in a mockingly cheerful voice, smiling wryly. "You and mom send me here, against my will, to 'clean me up'—" I sketch quotation marks in the air with my fingers "—thinking that a change of scenery and some nice new friends and washing my face will change everything, make it all better. Is that it?"

Without meaning to, my voice raises by the end of the sentence so that I'm nearly shouting. A few people twist in their chairs to see what's going on but I don't give a shit. Let the fuckers stare.

"Bella, don't be stupid—" Charlie starts but I cut him off.

"Yeah, because I'm the one that makes all these stupid fucking mistakes that my practically non-existent father needs to fix," I say, standing up and throwing my napkin on my plate. "Bullshit."

I pull my hood up and march out of the restaurant, feeling as though every eye in the place is on me. Fuck them.

And just my shitty luck, it's raining.

I sigh heavily, wrap my arms around my body and stride off into the dark night.

I'm soaked by the end of the block and starting to shiver. I stop at the curb and look back at the restaurant, not because I want to go back but because I really thought that maybe Charlie would have come after me. What the hell was I thinking?

I huff and start to step off the curb when a car comes swerving around the corner, knocking me off balance. I stumble backward, landing with a splat on the curb with my arms stretched out behind me to catch myself. Pain shoots through my hands on impact—especially my already injured right hand—and to make things worse, the car skids to a halt in a puddle that splashes all over me. I gasp as the muddy water somehow gets me even wetter than I already am and seeps into my socks, filling my high tops.

I hear the whirling sound of an automatic window rolling down and look up.

"Shit, I'm so sorry!" I hear from inside the shiny silver Volvo.

"Are you trying to kill someone?" I shout back as Edward climbs over the passenger seat and opens the car door.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed?" Edward snaps back, holding out a hand to help me up. "Most people look before they cross the street, you know. I thought everyone learned that in kindergarten!"

I ignore his hand and struggle to stand up, cradling my right hand. It's throbbing and feels like its starting to swell again. Edward leans in, his fingers reaching out to touch my hand. I snatch it back before he can, not because I didn't want him to touch me but because I was fucking pissed at him.

"Slow your ass down next time, Edward," I snarl at him, stepping around him and starting to cross the street again.

"Bella, wait," he calls after me, catching up quickly. "You're going to get sick walking in this rain, let me take you home."

"You're not fucking taking me anywhere—but speaking of home—" I stop when I reach the corner and spin to face him, my wet hair slapping into my face. "Why didn't you tell me you were my damn neighbor?"

"Does it really matter?" he questions, furrowing his brow, the rain dripping from his messy hair and splashing on his face.

"It would have been nice to know," I mumble, trying to cross my arms and wincing when I smash my wounded hand. I don't even know why this is bothering me except that after that day in biology, I thought we were at least sort of, I don't know…friends?

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," Edward says in a low voice, stepping forward, towering over me just enough so that his bent figure blocks some of the rain from my face. "Now will you _please_ let me take you home?"

We stare each other down, green into brown, pleading into defiant. My breathing picks up and I can smell him—he smells like warm flowers, if that's possible, and it smells wonderful. I want to say yes, to sit in a warm, comfortable car, breathing in his intoxicating scent, but only three days here and I already feel like I'm losing control of my life. One of the few good things about leaving home was the prospect of being able to start over. I wasn't going to let this boy stop me.

"No, Edward," I say in a clear strong, voice, turning away before he can stop me.

I start jogging after a few steps, needing to put some distance between Edward and I. I'm practically running by the time I make it home and I pound up the front steps and turn the doorknob.

Fuck, it's locked.

I reach into my pocket for my keys, figuring I'll just sit in my damn truck while I wait for Charlie, but I don't have them. I groan, throwing my head back, remembering that I left them in my jeans from yesterday.

I run my hands through my tangled, wet hair, getting it out of my face. I sniffle, my teeth chattering, wondering if I left my bedroom window open. I bite my lip, leaning my back against the door, felling totally drained.

Lights flash at the end of the street as Edward's Volvo swings onto the block. Before he can see me standing on the porch like an idiot, I race down the steps and dart around to the back of the house, slipping a little in the mud. I get to the backyard just in time to see him parking in the driveway next door.

With numb, trembling fingers, I clamber up the wooden ladder and collapse on the floor of the tree-house, shivering violently.

I curl up with my back against the bean bag chair, rubbing my arm with my good hand to try to get warm. The rain is pounding the roof of the tree-house and I can feel the branches swaying with the wind and hear the leaves rustling as they detach and fly past the doorway. I look out the window, hoping to see my bedroom window open, and because my night is already going to shit, it's of course not.

The ladder creaks outside; someone is coming up the steps. Though I know who it is, I'm not all together happy to see Edward entering the tree-house.

"What do you want?" I say in a weak, trembling voice, my teeth still knocking together.

"Fuck, Bella, your lips are turning blue," Edward complains, pulling off his jacket and wrapping it around my shoulders. I want to complain but though the outside of the jacket is covered in water droplets, the inside is dry and warm. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"It doesn't matter," I mumble, cuddling up in the jacket, inhaling the warm, flowery scent. It's almost like lilacs and now that I'm in direct contact with something that was on his body, I can detect a hint of honey.

Edward sits down next to me, sighing heavily and pinching the bridge of his nose. We sit in silence; Edward seems to be trying to calm himself. I look at him out of the corner of my eye over the top of his dark jacket I'm wearing. Watching his nostrils flare as he breathes, I remember something he had said to me too many fucking times.

"Did you know that Charlie didn't like the nose ring?" I ask in a quiet voice.

"What?" Edward asks, snorting a little and looking up at me.

"He gave me shit about being the chief's daughter and how it didn't look right." I roll my eyes, internally happy that I pulled him out of his bad mood so easily.

"He's been complaining about it since your mom called him about it," Edward laughs and I chuckle with him.

"But, do you actually…you know…like it?" I ask shyly.

Edward gives me an appraising look, reaching out a hand and gently pulling my face to look directly at him. I feel my cheek tingle at his touch and my breathing falters slightly. Edward looks at me for a good twenty seconds, the tips of his fingers on my cheek the whole time, strange electricity flowing through me from that spot he's touching, until he finally gives me a crooked smile.

"It suits you," he says simply.

We can't seem to break eye contact again and after a few minutes, I feel my head spin; I had forgotten to breathe. I suck in some oxygen shakily, making Edward chuckle quietly, drop his hand and turn away.

"So why are you sitting out here?" he asks, looking out at the pouring rain.

"How did you even know I was out here?" I say, turning my attention to the growing storm as well.

"I saw you running around the back of the house," he says, glancing at me with a grin. "You were like a fucking ninja… until you slipped in the mud."

"Hey, I didn't fall!" I defend myself with mock indignation; Edward snickers. "Anyway, I didn't have a fucking key to get in."

"Shit, why didn't you say so?" Edward asks, digging in his pocket and pulling out his car keys. He picks out a silver door key and removes it from the loop, handing it to me. "I'll make another copy later. Charlie gave that to me fucking ages ago, in case he had to work on a Saturday that I needed to do yard work."

"Why didn't he give _me_ a key?" I grumble, taking the key from him. Our fingers brush lightly and I get another pleasant jolt.

"That's my fault, really," Edward admits, running his hand through his wet, bronze hair. "I was supposed to make a copy and I put it off."

"So it's _your_ fault I'm stuck out in the rain?" I accuse, narrowing my eyes at him playfully.

"Whatever, it gave us the chance to hang out," he says with a wink; I feel my face flush slightly.

"Why do you even like hanging out with a bitch like me?" I ask in almost a whisper.

"I told you before," he says gently. "There's more to you than the badass chick you act like. I like that Bella—even if you don't want to share it with anyone else but me."

He runs his fingers softly down my arm, making me shiver, and then gestures for us to get up. I sigh heavily and follow him outside.

The two of us make our way down the ladder and hurry around to the front of the house. We get to the front door and I slip the key in the lock. It opens easily and I turn back around to Edward, feeling oddly reluctant to leave him.

"Oh, here," I say, pulling his jacket off my shoulders and handing it back to him. "Thanks."

"No problem," he says easily, gripping the jacket with one hand and shoving his other hand into his jeans pocket. "Now, get inside and get warm."

"Such a bossy little shit," I mumble, rolling my eyes and stepping into the warmth of the house.

"Bella?" Edward says behind me, sounding worried. I turn to him expectantly and he actually looks nervous. I wait patiently. "What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Oh," I say, taken aback. "Probably just homework or something. I figure the only way to get Charlie somewhat off my back is to actually give a shit about school."

"Will you… will you text me?" he asks quietly, looking down at his shoes, shoving his one hand deeper into his pocket and gripping his jacket tighter with the other.

"Sure," I say with a smile. It'd been so long since I'd had someone still interested in talking to me after I treated them like shit and I felt weirdly giddy that this boy chose to stick around. I couldn't even remember the last time I had a real friend, one that wasn't hanging around just to feel me up or drink with or get high with. It was a weird feeling and though my instincts told me not to trust him just like I had trouble with trusting anyone else, he seemed…different.

"Cool," he says, looking up and grinning as he backs down the steps. "Oh, and do you know that song 'Hear You Me' by Jimmy Eat World?"

"Um, yeah, I think I have it on my iPod, why?"

"Just… listen to it tonight, okay?" he says with another crooked smile. "Goodnight, angel."

"Goodnight," I breathe quietly.

I close the door almost all the way, leaving it open a crack so I can watch him jog back over to his house, his jacket still clutched in his hand. I bite my lip to try to hold back the stupid grin creeping up on my face. I don't even remember the last time I felt anything but surly towards another boy—or another person my age, for that matter. For the most part, I was beginning to hate everyone, as overly dramatic as that sounds. I was having trouble trusting just about anyone these days.

_Damn, what is this boy doing to me?_

I hurry up the stairs and strip out my clothes, hurrying into dry sweats and an old, tattered t-shirt. I throw my hair up into a ponytail, not even bothering to comb it out in my eagerness to get under the warm covers.

Before I pull back the comforter, I dig out my iPod and phone and set them both on the table by my bed. Once under the covers, I pick up the iPod and shuffle through the songs until I reach the one that Edward told me to listen to.

The song begins with a soft guitar playing and it sounds soothing against the downpour outside. The lyrics begin quietly and I listen intently:

_There's no on in town I know_

_You gave us someplace to go_

_I never said thank you for that_

_I thought I might get one more chance_

_What would you think of me now?_

_So lucky, so strong, so proud_

_I never said thank you for that_

_Now I'll never have a chance_

_May angels lead you in_

_Hear you me my friends_

_On sleepless roads, the sleepless go_

_May angels lead you in_

I smile to myself; the lyrics match us perfectly. I don't know how or why, but they do. I play the song again, closing my eyes contently and smiling wider every time I hear the word "angels".

I feel myself starting to drift off now that I'm finally warm, but my phone buzzing pulls me out of my almost slumber. I reach out for my phone, pulling it under the covers with me swiftly so that I'm not uncovered for long, and flip it open. Squinting at the brightness of the screen in the dark, I press the read button, already knowing its Edward.

_Thanks for sharing the angel again._

Even though he's not here, I feel my face turn red. Like I said, I don't know what the fuck this boy did to me, why he made me feel so girly. It was almost an uncomfortable feeling but at the same time, felt completely right with him. I type out a response.

_Feel lucky._

Seconds later, I get a reply.

_I do…More than you know._

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**

** Anyone getting even more interested? Tell me what you think! **

**Truth: I do start everyday with a cup of coffee, many times with the aforementioned Disney cup, purchased specially from Disneyland because it had ALL the princesses on it! It's hard to find all of them, especially Ariel, my favorite! Also, I often suffer from morning migraines and taking a shower in the dark is actually really soothing.**

**Question: How do you start your day? Do you have a favorite coffee mug? **


	3. Chapter 3: My Paper Heart

**And now, to switch it up a bit! Here's some Edward! I hope you enjoy him! Who doesn't really? This chapter felt really long but he's a wordy over-thinker…**

**Disclaimer: I own a purple comforter, multiple boxes of tea and the movie mentioned near the end. The end. Nothing else.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3: My Paper Heart<strong>

I watch as Bella takes off down the street, her high-tops splashing in the puddles. I hate to let her leave but I learned from experience that the harder you push someone, the easier it is to lose them.

With a groan, I get back in my Volvo and drive the rest of the way down the street to The Lodge. I park at an angle, filling two parking spots, and hurry into the restaurant.

It's hot as hell inside with all the bodies crowded in the room. I make my way directly to the counter and lean over it, looking for Alice. I spot her a few feet away, filling drinks, and let out a low whistle to get her attention. She turns to me and nods in greeting. I nod back and she finishes filling the cups, arranges them on a serving tray and hoists it up into the air, balancing it on her palm. She's got a lot of strength for a tiny little shit—there's got to be about half a dozen full drinks there.

"What's going on, big brother?" she chirps when she reaches me.

"Just came in for a quick bite before you're off," I shrug; she raises an eyebrow at me.

"You mean you just came to try to see Bella before I get off?" she questions with a smirk. "You just missed her—she stormed out of here a few minutes ago."

"Yeah, I know," I sigh, glancing over my shoulder. I spot Charlie by the window, slowing eating the last of his dinner, looking a bit depressed. "She wouldn't let me give her a ride home. Did she fight with Charlie?"

"Yup," Alice says with a grimace, readjusting the tray she's holding. "He was giving her shit for her nose ring… and basically everything else."

"Fucking hell," I grumble, pinching the bridge of my nose and closing my eyes. I knew that Charlie was going to say something to Bella about her look but to do it in a public place, possibly embarrassing her, was completely out of line. Charlie and I usually get along but I knew he had a problem with the unconventional. It took him forever to warm up to Alice and her style. I had thought that because Bella and Alice dressed so much alike that he wouldn't have that big of a problem with it. But though they looked alike, the two girls couldn't be more different in personality. Alice is sweet and bubbly and friendly. Bella is… well, not.

Except for those times in the tree-house when she lets down her guard, just for me.

"Heidi came in already so I'll just grab the food Jasper made us and we can jet," Alice says a few minutes later, after dropping off her drinks. "Charlie didn't notice you if you wanna slip out the back with me."

"Probably a good idea," I say in a low voice, glancing back at Charlie as he chats with the Newton family at the table next to him. He's all fucking smiles now, as though his fight with Bella never happened. I quickly follow Alice through the kitchen so that I don't snap at him.

"Hey, Edward, what's shaking?" Jasper says as I walk into the hot kitchen, the smell of grease heavy in the air. He's clad in black Dickie pants and a white dress shirt with the sleeves pushed up past his elbows but it's all covered in a full length white apron that's covered in stains. The baseball cap covering his shaggy blonde hair is on backwards, bits of hair sticking out all over the place. He smiles at me but I shake my head so he looks at Alice quizzically.

"Charlie is being a prick tonight," Alice explains, grabbing a carrot stick from the salad station and popping it into her mouth.

"Ah, I take it he doesn't approve of Bella?" Jasper says knowingly, putting together a burger at the cutting board next to the stove.

"You saw how he was with Alice, and he knew her before she changed her look," I complain, shaking my head.

"Give it time," Jasper says, putting the burger in a Styrofoam container along with a scoop of fries from a large metal bowl. He closes the box and stacks it on top of another. He hands the boxes to Alice and she gives him a quick kiss then spins around to face me.

We escape out the back door and sprint to the Volvo, throwing ourselves quickly into the dry interior. I start up the car and Alice turns on the radio.

"So, are you going to go check on Bella?" she asks, her eyes still on the radio as she searches for a clear station.

"I wasn't really planning on it," I admit, furrowing my brow. Should I go over?

"Did you see the fucking weather tonight?" Alice asks in an exasperated voice, gesturing out the front windshield. "I can't believe you didn't drive her home."

"I told you, she wouldn't let me!" I practically yell at her. Alice turns to me quickly, her dark eyes wide. I hastily try to amend. "I'm sorry, Ali, I just… I don't want to scare her away."

"Edward, is this like the last time? Like with Tanya?" Alice asks in a quiet voice.

"No… I mean, I don't know…" I say softly, not sure if I'm mad that she brought her up.

"Go over there and see if she needs you," Alice says gently. "If she doesn't, then just remind her that you are and then leave."

"You make it sound so easy," I mumble, shaking my head.

"Edward, you may be my big brother but you're also my twin," Alice says, laying a hand on my arm. "I know you better than anyone and I can tell you care about Bella. And we both know that if you don't go over there, you'll be beating yourself up about it all night."

I sigh heavily. Alice does know me best, maybe even better than myself sometimes.

"Yeah, alright," I say, turning onto our street.

I glance at Bella's house as we start to pass it and through the downpour, I can see her running around the house, looking almost like she's fleeing. But then I notice her glance back at the car and slip slightly in the mud before scrambling into the tree-house.

"What the hell?" Alice mutters, craning her neck around as we pull into the driveway. "Is she… hiding from you?"

"I think so," I chuckle.

"Uh… why?' Alice asks, quirking an eyebrow at me.

I shrug, smiling to myself, and turn the car off. Alice rolls her eyes and bolts from the car, our boxes of dinner clutched in her hands. I take a deep breath and race around Bella's house.

The tree sways as I climb up the ladder to Bella. I'm barely inside when she speaks, her shaky voice just barely audible over the howling wind and rain.

"What do you want?" she says and I can hear her teeth chattering.

"Fuck, Bella, your lips are turning blue," I gripe, stripping off my jacket and putting it around her shoulders. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"It doesn't matter," she mumbles and I almost smile as I see her snuggling in my jacket, breathing it in.

But I'm too angry at her to bask in her cuteness. I already know she's going to get sick sitting out here and that it's going to be like pulling teeth to get the reason out of her for why she's not inside. I pinch the bridge of my nose again, breathing deeply to try to calm myself. She's probably going to give me some shit excuse about sticking it to the man—the man being her dad. Damn it, why did she have to be so stubborn sometimes?

"Did you know that Charlie didn't like the nose ring?" she suddenly whispers.

"What?" I ask, letting out an involuntary snort and turning to her. She's looking at me with wide, cautious eyes.

"He gave me shit about being the chief's daughter and how it didn't look right," she says with a roll of the eyes.

"He's been complaining about it since your mom called him about it," I tell her and we laugh together.

"But, do you actually… you know… like it?" she asks in a low voice.

She looks a little worried and I can't help but want to touch her when she looks so soft, so starved for approval when there's no reason why she shouldn't have it. Behind that hard exterior, and those deep, chocolate brown eyes, I can see a shy girl just wanting someone to want her for who she is.

I reach my hand out and gently turn her face to look right at me, instantly losing myself in her big brown eyes and the feel of that strange but pleasant tingle that I get every time we touch. Fuck, I hope she feels that too.

I pretend to be considering her look but I know there's no question about it. She's perfect, just the way she is.

"It suits you," I tell her honestly, smiling crookedly.

Neither of us looks away until I notice she's not really breathing. She draws in a shaky breath so I chuckle and break the contact, reluctantly dropping my hand and looking away.

"So why are you sitting out here?" I ask, the rain so heavy now that it's like looking at a solid wall of water.

"How did you know I was out here?" she counters.

"I saw you running around the back of the house," I say, grinning slyly at her and trying not to laugh at the memory. "You were like a fucking ninja… until you slipped in the mud."

"Hey, I didn't fall!" she says, pretending to be mad and I let out a small snicker. "Anyway, I didn't have a fucking key to get in."

"Shit, why didn't you say so?" I ask, pulling out my keys and sorting out the small silver one for her front door. I take it off the ring and hand it to her; the electricity jolts through me as our fingers brush against each other when she takes it. "I'll make another copy later. Charlie gave that to me fucking ages ago, in case he had to work on a Saturday that I needed to do yard work."

"Why didn't he give _me_ a key?" she complains and I can't help but think it's so fucking cute the way her full mouth turns down at the corners.

"That's my fault, really," I say, trying not to stare at her mouth and instead running my hand through my wet hair. "I was supposed to make a copy and I put it off."

"So it's _your_ fault I'm stuck out in the rain?" she accuses, narrowing her eyes at me. She looks like an angry little kitten—so fucking adorable.

"Whatever, it gave us the chance to hang out." I wink at her and she blushes—I actually made her blush. I didn't think chicks even did that shit anymore.

"Why do you even like hanging out with a bitch like me?" she asks in a low voice.

"I told you before," I tell her gently. "There's more to you than the badass chick you act like. I like that Bella—even if you don't want to share it with anyone else but me."

I couldn't help it; I had to touch her again. I run my fingers slowly down her arm and feel her shiver. I stifle a girly sigh and gesture for her to get up. Behind me, I hear her sigh and I smile to myself. Clearly, I'm not the only one affected by whatever kind of relationship we have.

Once at the front door, she opens it and gives me back my jacket. I order her inside; she calls me a bossy little shit and steps through the doorway. I momentarily panic, not wanting her to leave without confirmation that I will at least talk to her tomorrow. I don't know how I'll go a day without her already—pathetic, I know. This is what this girl reduces me to.

"Bella?" I call out quickly and when she turns to look at me, curiously waiting for what I have to say, I struggle to find the right words to ask her about Sunday, without sounding like a creepy stalker. "What are you doing tomorrow?"

There, that doesn't sound too creepy… does it? Oh fuck, I know it does.

"Oh," she says, sounding surprised. "Probably just homework or something. I figure the only way to get Charlie somewhat off my back is to actually give a shit about school."

"Will you…will you text me?"

_Shit shit shit shit shit. Creepy motherfucker of the year. _

I stuff my hand deep into my pocket, wishing I could curl inside it and hide. With my other hand, I grip my jacket tighter, wanting to stuff it in my mouth for asking something so fucking ridiculous.

"Sure," she says, smiling at me.

"Cool," I say, like a complete goober, with an idiot grin to match. I start to back down the steps when a song suddenly pops into my head. I'd been listening to it on my way to The Lodge and it somehow reminded me of her. "Oh, and do you know that song 'Hear You Me' by Jimmy Eat World?"

"Um, yeah, I think I have it on my iPod, why?"

"Just…listen to it tonight, okay?" I ask, giving her one of my crooked smiles that I can already tell she loves. Sure enough, she seems to melt a little. "Goodnight, angel."

"Goodnight," she breathes.

I take off for my house before I say anything else stupid. When I get across the lawn, I glance back over my shoulder and see her peeking out at me from behind the door. I laugh as I run up the front steps.

I get inside, hang my jacket up on the coat rack and kick my shoes off. Most of the house is quiet but there's noise coming from the kitchen. I go down the hall and into the room to find Alice on her phone. Judging by the goo-goo eyes she's giving even though the person she's talking to can't see it, she's talking to Jasper. When she notices me, she giggles and turns away. I shake my head and grab my to-go container with my burger in it.

I only get a few fries into my mouth when I get the urge to text Bella already.

_Fuck, Edward, stalk much?_

I pull out my touch phone, open up the messages and select my conversation with Bella.

_Thanks for sharing the angel again._

Setting the phone down next to me, I find Alice staring at me, her own phone still pressed to her ear. She raises an eyebrow and I just shrug. My phone vibrates next to me and I turn my attention to it.

_Feel lucky._

I keep my head down, trying to hide my stupid-ass grin, and answer her.

_I do… More than you know._

"Who ya texting?" Alice suddenly says at my ear.

"Christ, Alice!"

I look over my shoulder at Alice, who somehow managed to climb onto the counter behind me without making a sound. She's sitting cross-legged, a knowing smile on her face.

"Warn a fucker, please," I complain, turning around and putting my food next to her.

"Ugh, can't you eat that somewhere else?" Alice groans, shoving the Styrofoam container farther away from her leg and wrinkling her nose. "Or not at all?"

"Ali, people are carnivores—it's why we have the pointy teeth."

I flash a wide smile at her and take a big bite of my burger. Alice gags and turns away; I shake my head.

"You do know that Bella is a vegetarian too, right?" Alice asks without even looking at me.

"Oh yeah," I mumble, swallowing thickly. I shrug and take another bite.

"Seriously?" Alice squeaks, glancing back at me and then hopping off the counter.

"Oh, relax, Ali," I laugh, popping a few fries in my mouth and changing the subject. "Where's Carlisle and Esme?"

"Dad is still at work and Mom went to bed already," Alice says, opening her own dinner box and spearing a few leaves of lettuce on her fork. "She has to go to Seattle early tomorrow to show a house."

I nod, eating more burger. Alice and I were adopted when we were seven, our real parents having abandoned us when we were infants. We had lived in Chicago until Carlisle and Esme came looking to adopt. Esme couldn't have kids after having her only son, Emmett—in fact, she had nearly died giving birth to him—and the couple wanted Emmett to have siblings to move with when they relocated to Washington. They had only meant to adopt one kid but luckily they fell in love with the pair of us.

Though I loved being a Cullen and both Alice and I fit in perfectly, it had always felt weird to me calling Carlisle and Esme "mom" and "dad'. I never had any of my own but it still just didn't fit in my head. Alice had always called them "mommy" and "daddy," even now but Alice had always been one to adapt easily.

Alice and I chat about our days while finishing our dinners and then she skips off to her room to work on homework. Alice may look and sometimes act like a hard ass but she's always been a straight A student. I amble into the living room to watch TV, flopping onto the soft couch and spreading out comfortably.

I only manage to watch about ten minutes of TV before I'm feeling restless so I turn it off and head to Carlisle's study.

I open the creaking door and head straight to the liquor cabinet, easily navigating myself around the leather furniture in the dim light of the street lamp filtering in through the window. The cabinet is unlocked, like usual and I feel around and grab the bottle of whiskey I have stashed behind Carlisle's more refined wine he liked to drink in the evenings. I'm sure he knows that the bottle is mine but he never gives me shit for it as long as I didn't cause any problems.

I pull out a glass and fill it with the smooth amber liquid. I take a large gulp, grimacing at the strong taste, and carry the glass and bottle over to the desk. I sit down on it, my feet sitting on the swivel chair situated behind it, and stare out the window, sipping the whiskey.

The rain is still coming down in sheets and from the study I can't see Bella's room.

Instantly, I start wondering how she's doing—whether she's feeling okay, if she got enough for dinner before she stormed out, if she's thinking of me—

_What the fuck, dude? You've known this girl for, what, three days? _

I fill my glass again, downing it in one drink and get up, shaking my head. I had hoped the liquor would calm me down—I still feel all keyed up for some reason—but it didn't do much. I put away the whiskey and glass, shoving them to the back of the cabinet, and head upstairs to the room I share with Alice.

I pass by Emmett's room but I know it's empty, Emmett most likely out with his girlfriend Rosalie since it's Saturday night and only a lame ass like me would be hanging around the house, mind stalking the girl next door. Fuck, maybe I just needed to get laid or drunk. I consider going back to the study and accomplishing the latter.

I sigh heavily and walk into my bedroom. Alice is already passed out, her head resting on her open history book. She can never get through history without falling asleep. I think about moving her but I want a smoke first.

Alice's bed is up against the wall by the door and mine is pushed against the window so I open the window enough to let out the smoke and stretch out on the bed.

I barely get the cigarette lit when Alice wakes up.

"I thought you quit smoking," she mumbles, her voice thick with sleep. I look over as she sits up and runs one hand across her face while stretching the other above her head.

"I never said I quit," I shrug, taking a drag and blowing it out the window.

"Bullshit, you said—and I quote— 'Smoking is too much trouble and too much money. I might as well start smoking crack.'"

I raise an eyebrow at Alice, who smiles at me sleepily. I chuckle and take another drag.

"Was I fucking drunk when I said that shit?" I ask, grabbing an empty soda can out of the waste basket next to my bed and tapping off the ash from my cigarette into it.

"No, you were high," Alice says simply, gathering up her homework, and I laugh. "I didn't think it made much sense either but, hey, you said it."

We sit in silence, me smoking and tapping my fingers uneasily on my leg and Alice putting away her school shit. The rain is letting up a bit and I can clearly see the tree-house and Bella's bedroom. I frown as I notice her bedroom light is off. It's barely past nine, is she really already in bed?

"Quit it, Edward," Alice snaps. I turn to her in surprise. "I know you're thinking about her. I'm sure she's fine."

"Yeah, I guess," I mutter, dropping my spent cigarette into the soda can and swirling around the bit of liquid left in it to put out the flame.

"What is it, Edward?" Alice sighs, zipping up her backpack and rearranging her pillows. She lies back on the mountain of plush, wiggling around until she sinks in comfortably.

"I'm worried she's going to get sick," I admit, picking at the hem of my jeans.

"People get sick all the time, big brother," Alice says in a soft voice.

"Yeah, I guess," I say again, sighing and looking out towards the dark house next door.

"Oh fine!" Alice suddenly snaps. I look up to see her digging around in her pile of pillows until she pulls out her old, battered teddy bear. She unzips the secret pouch hidden in its back seam and plucks out a small baggie. She unrolls it before me with a smile and I can't help but snort.

"You know, if Carlisle suspects you again, he's going to bust you with one of those fucking drug sniffing dogs," I say, shaking my head.

"Ugh, I hate dogs," Alice grimaces. She opens the bag, takes a deep sniff and pulls out a pack of rolling papers from her bear. "They smell God awful."

"Says the chick inhaling a bag of plants that smells like skunk." Alice sticks her tongue out at me but I just laugh again.

Alice neatly rolls a joint and bounces onto my bed. I open the window a little wider, the chill air blowing in, and light the rolled paper pinched between Alice's lips. She sucks in a few short breathes, blowing them out towards the window, and hands the weed over to me. I hold it with the tips of my thumb and forefinger and inhale a few breaths. I hold it until I almost break into a coughing fit and then exhale it out into the night.

"So do you really think Bella is going to get sick?" Alice asks as I pass her the joint.

"She was shivering in her tree-house when I found her," I say; Alice grimaces. "Her lips were turning fucking blue and everything."

"Fuck," Alice groans, trying to hold the smoke in her lungs but releasing it quickly. "She's going to get sick, alright. What do you plan to do?"

"Uh… what?" I ask blankly, freezing as I reach for the weed again.

"Oh come on," Alice rolls her eyes. "I know you want to go take care of her."

"I was doing my best not to be a creepy fucker this time around," I say honestly, taking another hit.

"Bullshit, just go over there," Alice says with a wave of her hand. When I quirk an eyebrow at her she huffs and grabs the joint. "Fine, call first then."

"I told her to text me," I say quietly, frowning at the dark window; the rain is picking up again, obscuring my view of Bella's house.

"Doesn't mean you can't call if it gets too late in the day," Alice points out.

"Well… what's too late?" I ask glumly. Shit, what _was_ too late? Or too early?

"I dunno… after lunch?" Alice says dismissively but when I continue to look discouraged, she huffs again. "Fine, I'll tell you when you can call. Happy now?"

"Not particularly," I mumble. Alice narrows her eyes at me; I smirk back.

As always, my twin knows me best; the weed was just what I needed. By the time we finish it, I feel relaxed enough for sleep. Alice and I fall asleep together on my bed, just like we did when we were kids.

* * *

><p>I wake up earlier than I mean to, still with no fucking clue what do to about Bella and instantly tensing up about it. I find myself alone on the bed, one of Alice's blankets thrown over me. I sit up and rub my face roughly with both hands, running my fingers through my tangled hair, before getting up and shuffling down stairs.<p>

Before I even hit the first step, I can hear the music coming from the kitchen. I cock my head to the side in confusion—the music is classical music, DeBussy to be exact, and that's what Esme listens to. But Alice said she had work…

I walk into the kitchen and find Alice at the sink washing fruit and Esme next to her, cutting them up. My feet carry me right to the coffee pot near the fridge where a large mug is already waiting for me.

"Morning, Edward," Esme says, carefully pitting and slicing a peach.

"Morning," I mutter, stifling a yawn and sitting down at the small round table in the middle of the room. "I thought you had to work today."

"They changed their mind because of the storm," Esme answers, gesturing to the window. I hadn't even noticed that it was still pouring out. "I figured we could have a nice family day in, unless you already have plans."

I shrug and take a sip of my coffee.

"I think he's thinking about going to go see a girl," Alice quips from the sink, smirking at me over her shoulder. I nearly choke on my coffee and stare at her with wide eyes.

"Oh, Edward! A girl? Who is it?" Esme squeals, wiping her hands on a dish towel and rushing over to me.

"Its nothing, really," I say uncomfortably, shaking my leg nervously and trying to busy myself with a sip of coffee but it suddenly tastes like dirt.

"Well, who is it?" Esme presses, beaming at me.

"It's Bella Swan," Alice says from the sink and I suppress a groan.

"Oooooh I've heard a lot about her from Charlie," Esme says with a stern look and a shake of her head. "I'm not sure about her, Edward."

"She's just a friend," I say quietly, wishing that weren't true.

_Holy fucking shit, man, get a hold of youself! Wish it weren't true? Geez…_

"Just please be careful," Esme pleads, placing her hand on my arm.

"Trust me, mom, I will," I say with a smile. Esme's eyes tear up a little at the term; I knew she'd fucking melt when I called her that and let up on this questioning shit.

Sure enough, after another pat on the arm, Esme stands and goes back to cutting fruit. Alice rolls her eyes at me over her shoulder.

The three of us sit down to a breakfast of sliced peaches, strawberries, grapes and kiwi, Alice and Esme discussing what to do that day. I already know that if I don't find something to keep me busy that I'm going to go fucking nuts and I almost offer to help the girls look at paint samples for a house Esme wants to fix up but fuck me, if I do that I might as well wear some panties while I'm at it.

Thankfully, the rain clears up for a bit so I go for a run, relishing in the light burn of my muscles and the distance from Bella. Awake for only a few hours and I'm already turning into the weird motherfucker that's wondering if she's up too, what she's having for breakfast, if she showers in the morning or at night—

_Fuck! Shut up, Cullen!_

Once I loop back around to the house, my nerves are knotted up again, the run completely pointless now. I go straight up to the bathroom to shower, standing under the hot stream until it runs cold. I dress in a pair of dark jeans and a black v-neck cotton shirt. I don't bother with the hair, just run my hands through it a few times, and head back to the kitchen. If anything, the run made me hungry—not that the pitiful breakfast had done much for me anyway.

Alice is in the kitchen again, this time sitting at the table and peeling potatoes. Her hair is smoothed back today, pins holding the short black locks in place. Her face is clean of any make-up and she's wearing her old Care Bears t-shirt over a pair of black sweats. I love weekend Alice—reminds me of the little sister I grew up with before she turned all goth and shit.

"Hey, brother twin, you look like shit," she says in the way of greeting.

"Hey, sister twin, way to treat a guy," I say, filling myself a glass of water from the tap and joining her at the table. "What are you making?"

"_We_ are going to make Bella potato soup," Alice smiles; I gawk at her and she laughs. "If she's sick, she'll need something to eat—something easy on the stomach. Since she won't eat chicken soup…"

Alice trails off, shrugging her shoulders.

"Hold the fuck up," I say, holding up my hands. "Since when am I going to her house?"

"Look, you said she was going to get sick," Alice says exasperatedly, putting down the potato she's peeling. "And if she is, then I know that you're going to want to go over there. If you do, you're going to have to have a better reason than because you're hot for her."

"I never said I was hot for her," I point out quickly.

"Whatever. I'm making mint tea, too." Alice continues her peeling. When she notices that I'm still just sitting there, watching her mindlessly, she snaps her fingers in my face. "Hello! Quit picturing her naked and text her!"

I glare at her; I hadn't been picturing her naked and fuck, I was trying as hard as hell not to now. I pull out my phone, hoping that noon is late enough to call.

With shaking fingers, I touch Bella's name on my phone and then the green call icon. I keep my eyes away from Alice. She's leaning forward slightly so as to get her ear closer to the conversation. I roll my eyes and position my chair a little farther away.

The phone goes straight to voicemail, an automated message telling me that the number is unavailable. I put down the phone in confusion, ending the call.

"What's wrong?" Alice asks.

"It went to voicemail," I say sadly.

"Call Charlie," Alice tells me promptly.

"And say what?" I ask sarcastically. "'Hey, Charlie, just wanted to call and tell you I'm oddly obsessed with your daughter even though she seems to hate my fucking guts, so I want to impose on her and her possible sickness with some soup and tea.'"

"Well, maybe you shouldn't use the word 'fucking'," Alice says with a smile.

"Not helpful," I gripe.

"Just call and ask what he's up to, if he's doing anything today, and try to hint at what Bella's doing for the day, whether or not she's going to partake in his Sunday activities, and see if he spills," Alice rattles off, picking up another spud.

I sigh heavily, running my hand over my face. Geez, for claiming that I'm not into the girl, I have to go through a lot just to check on her.

I bring up Charlie's house number, wondering if Bella will pick up. That'd make things a bit easier—at least I wouldn't have to be a sneaky shit and try to worm info out of her dad. I bounce my leg nervously as I listen to the ringing on the other line. Alice kicks me under the table.

"Ow, shit—"

"Hello?"

"Oh, hey Charlie," I say cheerfully, hoping that he didn't hear me curse. "Just calling to see what's going on at Chief Swan's today."

_Could you sound anymore pathetic, Cullen? Holy fucking shit…_

"Not much, really," Charlie explains. "I was thinking of going fishing today, but it's raining obviously."

"Which is weird, it never rains here," I joke stupidly, smacking myself in the forehead with the heel of my palm. Better get all the shitty jokes out now.

"Good one," Charlie says, chuckling. "I'm in luck, though. Billy Black called and wants to get a card game going this afternoon. I was actually thinking of inviting you along, if you're not busy."

"That sounds fun," I say slowly, trying to sound like I'm interested.

"Yeah, shouldn't be too bad, if you don't mind hanging out with a bunch of old geezers like us," Charlie says with a laugh. I wait to see if he's going to add any more info—like whether or not his mesmerizing daughter will be there—but he doesn't. I suck in a deep breath and blurt out what I want to know.

"What's Bella up to today?" I ask and Alice looks up, grinning widely.

"Oh, well actually she's not feeling too well today," Charlie says and I feel my heart plummet. "She was asleep when I got home and when I checked on her for breakfast, she kicked me out of her room."

Charlie chuckles nervously and I try to laugh with him but it gets caught in my throat, coming out as more of a hoarse grunt. Alice waves frantically at me, mouthing _What's going on?_ I shake my head at her and try to come up with something more to ask Charlie.

"That's too bad," I say lamely. "Do you think…that, um… I dunno, maybe she needs some company?"

"Oh! I'm not sure," Charlie admits. "I know she hasn't eaten today but I can't cook much more than eggs and meats—both of which she hates."

"That does limit food choices." Alice points at the potatoes on the table and then at me, smiling broadly. "Alice and I are making potato soup, actually…"

I leave the statement out there; fuck, let him catch on and make the decision for me. I'm too much of a chicken-shit to come out and ask if I can just come over.

"Hey, maybe you could bring some over," Charlie says happily.

"Yeah, sure," I say a little too quickly. "Maybe you should, you know, ask Bella though. She may just want to rest."

_Oh God, please don't let her want to rest…What a stupid ass thing to say._

"Right, good point," Charlie answers. I can hear his boots on the hardwood steps; a moment later, a door squeaks open and he speaks in a hushed voice. "Bells? How're you feeling?"

"Shitty," I hear Bella answer and though she does sound like shit, I can't help but smile at the sound of her voice. "What do you want?"

"I was going to go out with the guys tonight but I can stay here if you want," he tells her.

_Please let her say no… But if she says no to Charlie, will she say no to me? Shit!_

My heart starts beating wildly as I begin to panic. I can't hear Bella's reply, it's too muffled; my hands begin sweating so I wipe them nervously on my jeans, my leg bouncing anxiously again. Alice looks up at me sharply but doesn't kick me this time. She can tell I'm getting tense.

"Okay, okay! No need to use such language," Charlie says; I let out a shaky laugh, wondering what she said to him. "I'm on the phone with Edward now. He was thinking of coming by with some soup…Oh sure."

I hear a shuffling sound as the phone gets handled and then a new voice speaks into the receiver.

"Hey, fucker, what's this about soup?" Bella asks, her voice raspy and her nose all stuffed up so she sounds muffled. She sniffles, a disgusting wet sound, but I can't find myself to be repulsed.

"Alice and I are making some potato soup," I tell her, my heart lifting at the sound of her voice. "Are you hungry?"

"Fucking starving as shit," she says, sniffling again. "Just give me, like, thirty minutes. The front door will be open."

"Sure thing, angel," I answer, glancing at the clock on the wall. I end the call and look up to see Alice staring at me with her mouth hanging open, her hand hovering over a potato, mid peel. "What?"

"What did you just call her?" she asks in disbelief, a smile creeping onto her face.

"What do you mean? What the fuck did I say?" I ask and then I realize and cry, "Aw fuck! Did I say that out loud? She's going to fucking kill me! Don't say a word, Mary Alice, not a damn word, do you hear me?"

"Alright, alright!" she says, resuming her peeling. "Calm the fuck down! And don't fucking call me Mary!"

We quickly set to work, dicing up the potatoes and putting them in a pot of water that Alice had already started boiling while she had been peeling. I chop up an onion but only add half as much as usual, not sure if Bella has an aversion to them, and Alice adds in a couple cups of corn. We let the mixture boil a bit longer before dumping out half the water and adding milk instead, along with some butter, salt and pepper. Normally, Alice would spice the shit out of the soup, adding in all kinds of things to experiment. When I ask her why she didn't, she points out that because Bella is sick, her taste buds won't be up to par.

Because she can't seem to ever have silence, Alice has her iPod set up in docking station on the counter and it blares out a huge variety of music while we cook, from angry girl bands to some emo shit and even a few classic 80's songs. When one of our shared favorite bands comes on, The All-American Rejects, Alice turns it up louder, dancing around the kitchen and singing an octave higher. I hum along myself, listening to the lyrics of My Paper Heart, and realize that the song sums up my feelings about going to Bella's:

_Please just don't play with me_

_My paper heart will bleed_

_This wait for destiny won't do_

_Be with me, please, I beseech you_

_Simple things, that make you run away_

_Catch you if I can_

_Waiting, day to day it goes through_

_My lips are sealed for her_

_My tongue is tied to a dream of being with you_

_To settle for less is not what I prefer_

I shake my head and return to the task at hand.

Alice finds me the largest Tupperware dish she can and while I'm spooning out some of the steaming soup into it, she boils some water in Esme's old metal kettle for tea.

After I put a lid on the Tupperware, I rush upstairs to put on some deodorant, clean socks and a long-sleeved flannel button-up. I'm putting on my shoes when Alice calls up the stairs.

"Hurry your ass up, Edward!" she calls. "And fix the mop on your head that you call hair!"

I roll my eyes and don't even bother to check my unruly hair, just run back down the stairs. Alice is standing at the bottom, holding out a thermos and the soup and she grimaces at my obviously untouched hair. There's no fucking point, it won't stay where I put it anyway. I smile at her and empty her hands. I give her a quick kiss on the cheek and leave the house.

The cruiser is already missing from the driveway but Bella's truck is in place. I walk up the front steps and stand at the door, trying to calm my breathing. Why the fuck was I so nervous?

I tuck the thermos under my arm and use my free hand to open the front door.

"Bella?" I call out quietly.

"Ugh," Bella groans from the living room.

I smile and walk over to the couch to find her wrapped in a thick purple comforter, the only part of her showing her socked feet and her heart shaped face. Her eyes are puffy, her nose red and swollen. Her hair is damp and tangled, looking like she showered quickly before I came over but didn't brush her hair. She looks at me from under her lashes, giving the same pathetic sniff I had heard over the phone. I wonder if she has any Vicks in the house because it doesn't sound like she can breathe at all whatsoever.

But none of that holds my attention. For the first time since I've met her, her face is scrubbed clean, not a drop of makeup on her smooth, porcelain face. Her eyes look even deeper, even more stunning without the ring of black surrounding them, the dark brown striking against her pale skin. Even without all the mascara, her lashes are long and full. She glances down, her lashes brushing against her pink cheeks and I feel my heart fucking skip a beat.

"Hey beautiful," I say cheerfully, setting the supplies on the coffee table and sitting down next to it, leaning forward with my elbow on my knees and my hands clasped together.

"Shut the fuck up," she says wearily, her voice muted.

"Is that any way to treat the guy that brought you sustenance?" I say in mock offense, putting a hand to my chest.

"Fine—_please_ shut the fuck up," she amends and I chuckle. "Now go get some spoons and bowls before I get mean."

"Yeah, because you're just delightful right now," I mutter, heading towards the kitchen. Bella pulls a pillow off the couch and attempts to throw it at my back. She misses horribly and instead knocks a picture off the wall. I catch it before it crashes to the ground.

"Fucking show off," she mumbles behind me and I laugh loudly.

In the kitchen, I grab two bowls, two spoons and two coffee mugs—one of which being that cute princess one I had found the other day. When I come back to the couch, Bella is curiously sniffing—or rather attempting to sniff—the contents of the thermos.

"What kind of tea is this?" she asks, trying to smell again.

"Alice's famous mint tea," I answer, sitting down next to her and dishing out the soup. I take the thermos from her, my hand lingering on hers as they touch, that same spark still there, and pour out two mugs of the tea.

"Fuck, I haven't had mint tea in years," Bella says, cupping the mug between her hands. "Wish I could fucking smell it. Mint is the shit."

"I'll bring you some more when you're feeling better," I tell her, handing her a spoon. "But it should clear your sinuses a bit."

Bella grabs the spoon from me and leans over her soup, scooping up a spoonful and blowing on the liquid. She gingerly takes a bite and lets out a quiet moan.

She fucking moaned!

"Holy fucking shit, that is the best soup ever!" she cries, filling another spoonful.

"Can you even taste it?" I joke, getting my own spoonful and trying not to dwell on that sexy-ass moan she had let out.

"A little," she says with a grimace. "But if it tastes this good when I can't taste a damn thing then I know its fucking genius."

I try not to stare at Bella as we eat our soup. She downs it in minutes and then leans back on the couch with her tea in her hands again.

"How'd you sleep last night?" I ask, abandoning my soup so I can give her my full attention. I'm not much for tea but I pick up my own anyway.

"Like shit," she says with a sniffle. "The rain was too loud and I couldn't breathe through my damn nose."

"Did the soup help a bit?" I ask shyly.

"Actually, yeah, it did," she says with a watery smile.

"So, uh, now what? Do you want me to… you know, leave?" I ask, trying to be polite but praying she'll say no.

"No, stay, please!" she says quickly, blushing a little. "I mean, I know I'm lame ass company but I'd like you to stay. If you want…"

"Of course, angel," I say easily. "What would you like to do?"

"I dunno, watch a movie?" she suggests. "I have no fucking clue what Charlie has."

"Let's check," I say, reluctantly leaving her side and opening up the cabinet below Charlie's flat screen TV. I rifle through the movies, naming a few.

"That one!" Bella suddenly calls out.

"'Wild Hogs'?" I ask uncertainly, holding out the DVD of the middle-aged men clad in leather on motorcycles.

"Fuck no, the other one—'Just Friends'," she says impatiently, waving her hand at the DVD I had just set down.

_Aw, shit. I fucking hope she's not trying to hint at something._

"Okay, sure," I say glumly, cracking open the case and setting it up.

"Have you seen it?" she asks warily; I turn around to see her staring into the depths of her tea and her white teeth biting into the soft pink of her full lower lip.

_Oh God, that's so sexy…_

"Uh, no, I haven't," I say, shaking my head a little.

"Its so fucking funny," she says, curling her feet beneath her and sniffling. "It's like the only technically Christmas movie that I'll watch anytime. Seriously, this movie is the shit."

"You won't watch Christmas movies during other times of the year?" I ask curiously, picking up the DVD player remote and returning to the couch. Bella shifts slightly so she's turned towards me, her hands wrapping the comforter around her midsection. I glance down at the shirt she's wearing and I'm surprised when I recognize the blue horse head with the red flaming mane—Steve Miller Band. Fucking old school. My admiration for her grows.

"It just feels so…weird," she explains, wrinkling up her nose. "It just doesn't feel right. I fucking love Christmas, don't get me wrong, but it's a special time of year… You can't have that, like, any other time, you know?"

I nod, knowing exactly what she means. She pulls up the comforter and coughs into it, sniffling again when she emerges. When the music for the movie's menu comes up, Bella focuses on the screen, running a hand through her tousled hair; the fabric of the shirt shifts slightly and my eyes pop open.

_Is she not wearing a fucking bra?_

I tear my eyes away from her chest, crossing my ankle on my knee to hide the obvious bulge that suddenly appeared in my pants and press play on the remote.

Bella was right—the movie is fucking hilarious. After the first twenty minutes or so, when I've already basically lost hope that the fat-ass loser in the movie isn't going to get the chick, the movie takes a twist. I glance over at Bella, who I thought was lost in the movie, but she's watching me too.

The main character in the movie, Chris, has just showed up at the bar in his old home town. The girl he was best friends in high school with, Jamie, is working there, the one that wanted to be "just friends" but its clear, after that first look she gives him, that she doesn't feel that way anymore.

I give Bella a small smile and she smiles back before quickly turning away with a slight blush. I chuckle softly as I see her bite her bottom lip again. I rearrange my limbs so that both feet are on the floor and shift slightly closer to her, my arm stretched out over the back of the house.

Yeah, I know—it's a fucking over-used move, one that dates back to the fifties but at least I didn't do some fake yawn as I try to drape my arm over the girl. I really was trying to get more comfortable and I was hoping Bella felt just as at ease to move a little closer herself.

Surprisingly, she does. After a few minutes, Bella shuffles closer to me and then leans down to rest her head on my lap, her eyes never leaving the movie. She cuddles up in the blanket, tucking it under her body and drawing her legs in closer.

"Is this okay?" she breathes.

The lyrics from the kitchen earlier ring through my head again…

_This wait for destiny won't do_

_Be with me, please, I beseech you…_

"More than okay, angel," I answer her, reaching my hand down hesitantly to stroke her wild hair. My fingers crackle with electricity as I touch her, gently tucking her hair behind her ear. She hums quietly and I smile, my heart fucking soaring.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**

**As I'm writing this, I'm trying to get over almost the exact same cold as Bella. It was the worst when I was out camping in the 90+ degree heat. Ugh! Colds suck…**

**Truth: I really do feel the way Bella does about the movie Just Friends (btw I hope I didn't ruin any of the plot for you—watch it! It's an awesome movie). In fact, my brother and his gf put it on just last night so instead of finishing this lovely chapter, I raced into the room to watch! So here I am, finishing it up while sniffling and listening to the thunder outside. I f'ing love thunderstorms…**

**Question: How do you fell about Christmas movies during other times of the year? And thunderstorms? **


	4. Chapter 4: Dirty Little Secret

**I was doing so well with the updates! Sorry this one is late. Computer screens went out so I lost part of the chapter and had to rewrite. BUT I did map out the next couple of chapters already so I hope you like what's happening next since I didn't pay attention in both of my classes to write them! **

**Disclaimer: Shit, what **_**do**_** I own in this… Ah well, I know I **_**don't**_** own Twilight! Obviously…**

* * *

><p><span>Dirty Little Secret<span>

I can smell warm honey—a light, sweet smell that's been sitting in the sunshine all day. In fact, I can even smell the warmth. And lilacs, I can definitely smell those.

I try to breathe deeply, to bask in the warm sweetness, but the congestion in my nose stops me and reality hits.

I don't want to wake up from this dream, it feels too nice. I try to drift away again, to lose myself in the comfort of the boy that inexplicably likes me in some way, because real life sucks right now.

I had fallen asleep quickly the night before only to be woken up hours later by the howling wind and my own sneezing and sniffling. I woke up nearly every hour after that, either too hot or too cold or needing to blow my nose. Sometime around four in the morning, I was awoken to the sound of my phone beeping at me, telling me that the battery needed to be recharged. I had struggled to motivate myself out of bed long enough to plug it in because I had promised to text Edward the next day—and I was going to.

It had surprised the hell out of me when I turned to see Edward standing there so shyly, asking me to let him know what I was going to be up to. There was no way I was going to disappoint him so when the phone beeped again, I rolled over in bed, intent on getting the power cord off of my dresser but I was instead overcome with a coughing fit. Once it subsided, I lay there, waiting to see if it was really over, and had apparently fallen asleep all over again.

I had dreamed that Edward had called me instead, going through fucking Charlie to see if I was okay. How did he know I was feeling like shit?

I was feeling better than the night before—a sure sign that I had been dreaming, I just knew it—so I dragged my smelly ass out of bed and showered quickly putting on clean sweats and my old Steve Miller Band t-shirt. I had won tickets on the radio to see the band and was fucking stoked as shit to see them. This was just before mom had married Phil so we went together and had bought the shirts with the classic blue horse with the flaming red mane that had been on their greatest hits album. It was my first real concert and what had made it special was that the band was one of mom's first favorite bands.

I fucking missed those days…

The dream had continued, Edward bringing over awesome soup and delicious mint tea—another clue that I was dreaming because I had been thinking that morning that mint tea would have been fucking perfect.

When Edward had asked about watching a movie, I jumped at the chance to watch Just Friends, one of my all-time favorites. I had seen the disappointment in his eyes at the title and since this was a dream, I had hinted at the fact that maybe, just maybe, I wanted something more than that…

Shit, that had been a good dream…

I groan and roll over, rubbing my eyes with the heels of my palms, my right hand twinging a bit with the movement. I really don't want to get up and have to take this damn sickness and pain again.

"Hey there, sleeping beauty," a soft, musical voice says.

My eyes fly open in shock and are confronted with jade green irises.

"Holy shit, I'm not dreaming?" I blurt out, my voice slightly hoarse.

"You thought you were dreaming of me?" he laughs, smiling a perfect row of even, white teeth.

"Maybe," I grumble, struggling to sit up. I feel his hand slide off my shoulder as I get up.

I look around the room in confusion and see my empty soup bowl and mug next to a Tupperware of more soup and a tall, green thermos. I pick up the thermos curiously, open it and smell the contents. Through my stuffed nose, I detect a hint of mint. Had a really been dreaming?

"Is something wrong?" Edward asks in an amused voice.

"So… I really did have soup and tea with you while watching a movie?" I ask stupidly, still not believing it.

"Well, you didn't watch much of the movie," Edward laughs. "You fell asleep about a half hour in."

"Shit, I'm sorry," I say quietly, feeling embarrassed. I run my right hand through my hair without thinking and when my fingers snag on my messy hair, it pulls at the tendons in my wrist. "Aw, fuck that hurt!"

I look down at my hand, flexing my fingers. The skin is a little green and blue where the bruise is healing and my knuckles are still slightly swollen. I groan quietly, wondering if it'll ever heal with how much abuse I've been putting it through.

"Let me see," Edward says softly, reaching for my hand.

I don't even flinch as he puts my small hand in his own cool ones. My skin feels electric as his runs the tips of his fingers over my tender knuckles, carefully inspecting the injury. He bends my wrist and I wince; it feels sorer now, after falling on it the night before, than it did when I punched the wall.

"Do you have a bandage?" he asks me, his bright green eyes looking up to me in concern.

"I don't know," I answer, getting lost in his gaze immediately. "Maybe in the upstairs bathroom?"

Edward gives me a crooked smile and stands up, heading to the stairs. As soon as his back is turned, I let out a deep breath that I had apparently been holding. Holy fuck, how did one small touch from this boy completely erase my ability to…hell, to do anything—to breathe, to think, to act like I normally did.

I look around when I hear him on the stairs again. In his hand is a cloth Ace bandage. He smiles as he sits back down next to me and I automatically give him my hand without thinking. Gently but firmly he wraps my wrist and hand, his full, pink lips slightly pursed.

"Now, try to be more careful please?" he asks with another lopsided grin.

"I'll make sure not to get knocked on my ass again by a dumbass driver," I say with a smirk and he laughs.

"Yeah, sure, blame the nice guy," he answers, shaking his head.

"So, how long was I out?" I ask, looking around for the clock.

"Not long," he shrugs. I glare at him so he amends, "Only long enough for me to watch, like, two and a half episodes of American Idol."

"Geez, I was out a while," I groan but then I look at him in surprise. "Wait, you like to watch American Idol?"

"Ha! No, not really," he laughs. "But I couldn't reach the TV remote so when I turned the DVD player off, the channel was already set to a marathon."

"You could've moved me," I say softly, looking down at my bandaged hand. "You didn't have to suffer through that."

"I would suffer much worse for you, angel," he mutters so quietly I'm not sure I heard him right.

I look up from under my lashes to see him smiling at me, his green eyes soft. I smile back involuntarily, his genuine care for me obvious and unexpected.

The front door opens and we both jump, startled at the sound of Charlie coming home so early. He's grumbling to himself as he hangs up his jacket; I can hear words like "cheater", "no beer" and "better luck next time my ass". Edward and I look at each other and stifle our snickers.

"Hey, Charlie, how was the game?" Edward asks cheerfully and then adds to me in a whisper, "Same thing every time: everyone cheated and drank all the beer."

I try to hide my laughter as Charlie comes into the living room, still shaking his head.

"I swear, they cheated again," Charlie complains, sitting in the empty arm chair. "And I only got two beers! Whoever supplies the drinks needs to bring more."

"Aw, better luck next time," Edward encourages; Charlie frowns at him and I turn my laughter into a fake cough that quickly turns into a real one so I pull the blanket up to my face again.

"Oh, hey, Bells, feeling any better?" he asks, glancing at the soup on the table.

"Yeah, but I ended up falling asleep," I say and look at Edward out of the corner of my eye. He winks at me and I blush, turning away.

"I heard you coughing last night. Didn't I tell you there's cough syrup in the bathroom?" Charlie asks with a jerk of his thumb at the stairs.

"That shit would have been a lot more helpful last night," I gripe, gently crossing my arms across my chest. Edward pretends to clear his throat to hide his laugh.

Charlie doesn't comment on my choice of words; he sighs and gets up from the couch, calling back to us when he reaches the kitchen.

"What would you like to do for dinner?" he asks. "I was going to do pizza or something for myself."

"Thanks, Charlie, but I'm sure Alice is waiting for me," Edward answers; I try not to let my disappointment show when he turns to me. "Will you be alright?"

"I'm sure I'll survive," I say sarcastically.

I wrap my blanket securely around my waist and follow Edward to the door, unwilling to let him out of my sight as long as he's in my house. What he did for me and my bitchy self today was so sweet, so unanticipated and was making me wonder about our relationship even more.

Relationship? What am I thinking? Who would like a smart ass like me? All I did was push people away with my snarky bitch attitude. Edward may say that deep down he saw a fucking angel but I didn't see any shit like that. I'm just too vulnerable around him and I know it's just setting me up for more damn heartbreak. I need to get my shit together and put up my guard before it's too late.

"Thanks, Edward," I say softly when we reach the door, steeling myself for what I'm about to say. "You're a good friend but…"

I pause as he opens the door and looks back at me. His deep green eyes are guarded, his expression curious and almost sad at the same time.

"But?" he repeats.

"But can I call tree-house?" I say uncertainly, hoping he understands what I mean, that I want to keep today under wraps just like all our other meetings outside my bedroom window.

"Sure," he says with a sly grin. "You'll just be my dirty little secret."

He winks roguishly and heads out into the sprinkling rain. His phrase strikes a note, reminding me of something.

"Isn't that a song?" I call out to him.

"Yup," he says happily. With a wave of his hand, he takes off for his home next door.

I frown, trying to think of where I've heard the song before and who it's by. I huff angrily and go back inside; the cold air is biting at my exposed skin and making me shiver already.

After shutting the door, I grab the last of the tea and soup and warm it up in the microwave. Charlie is on the phone, ordering pizza, and he points at the phone, his eyebrows raised questioningly. I shake my head and point at the soup before taking it upstairs to my room.

As I sit on the bed, eating my soup, I try to think of who sings the song that Edward had mentioned. I wrack my brain, straining to imagine the lyrics, but give up after a few minutes. I grab my iPod off my dresser and scroll through the bands slowly until I find the band The All-American Rejects.

I cock my head to the side, curious if this is the band. It sounds about right but I don't have the song. I go back to the main screen, touch the App Store icon and enter a search for the band. The results come back quickly and sure enough, I got the band right. After typing my password in to order the song, I wait impatiently for it to download.

Once the song is on my iPod, I touch the play button to listen.

The guitar at the beginning is loud and fast, the drums entering in after a few beats. It's a nice loud song and I'm liking it so far so I dig out my docking station and start it over, turning it up loud to drown out the sound of the cheering from the fucking sports game that Charlie is blaring from the TV downstairs.

_Let me know that I've done wrong_

_ When I've known this all along_

_ I go around a time or two_

_ Just to waste my time with you_

_ Tell me all that you've thrown away_

_ Find out games you don't wanna play_

_ You are the only one that needs to know_

_ I'll keep you my dirty little secret_

_ Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret_

_ My dirty little secret_

_ Who has to know?_

_ When we live such fragile lives_

_ It's the best way we survive_

_ I go around a time or two_

_ Just to waste my time with you_

I laugh as I listen to the lyrics that once again fit us almost perfect. It makes me interested in whether or not he feels that way, if he's concerned he's doing something wrong and if he really just wants to spend time with me for no reason. But it also makes me wonder if he really is worried he'll regret getting close to me. I don't blame him, honestly, who would want to get close to a fuck up like me? Like the song said, _when we live such fragile lives, it's the best way we survive._

And at that thought, I instantly go from feeling elated to feeling depressed. My past begins to creep into my awareness that I've been trying to suppress since I got to Forks.

With a growl of frustration, I set aside my soup and turn off the song. I fling my door open and go into the bathroom, grabbing my brush. I rip the bristles through my tangled mess of hair, trying not to dwell on that electric feeling I got when he ran his fingers through the tresses.

Once I'm finished torturing my hair, I strap a hair-tie around the bundle at the nape of my neck, my scalp tingling with pain. I find the cough syrup behind Charlie's shaving cream in the medicine cabinet. After taking a large swig, I head back into my room, throw the comforter back on my bed and burrow underneath it.

I squeeze my eyes shut, hoping like hell that the memories don't come back as I drift off to sleep. Thoughts of Edward creep into my thoughts of my wretched past, soothing the ache minutely.

* * *

><p>By the next morning, I'm feeling marginally better though my mood is already shot to shit. My fucking nose is still stuffed but not as badly as the day before but what's really getting to me are the thoughts from the night before that are still swirling around in my brain.<p>

I don't bother to shower, not wanting to get sick again going out into the cold with wet hair, so I dress warmly instead, pulling on my hoodie over a thick royal blue long sleeved shirt and leave while Charlie is in the shower so that I don't have to endure his questioning.

When I get to the school, I instantly spot the fucking silver Volvo as it pulls into a parking spot. I get out of my truck, slamming the door loudly, and head towards first period. Edward turns at the loud bang I made and I fully expect him to treat me like he usually does, to smile or wink or maybe even wave.

He doesn't do shit.

My brow furrows in confusion as his gaze passes over me indifferently, instead refocusing on his sister who's getting out of the car on the other side. She looks to me and back to Edward, voicing a question I can't hear. He shakes his head and strides away, slinging his backpack onto his shoulders and leaving her looking just as confused as I am. I scowl and pull up my hood, ducking my head as I attempt to ignore the disappointment that's bubbling in my gut.

I can't let him get to me. I was angry first, anyway.

The morning passes quickly, the teachers ignoring me as usual—except for my damn algebra teacher who tries to ask me to answer one of the questions. Thankfully, I sneeze right when he asks, a good fucking wet one that I have to dig in my backpack for tissues for to clean up; he turns away in disgust, asking Mike the question instead.

At the end of class before lunch, I leave quickly, thinking I'll skip lunch today and sit in my truck so that I don't have to deal with the pretty kids. Before I'm even out the door, though, fucking Mike is by my side, chattering away.

"Hey, Bella, sounds like you're sick," he points out unnecessarily as I sniffle. I ignore him but he continues, barely pausing to breathe. "Well, hopefully you'll be better by this weekend. Saturday is the dance and Friday night, Lauren is having a party. Maybe, you know, we could go together? I don't mean the dance, but maybe just the party. And if we have a good time, I could take you to the dance too. Its semi-formal, whatever the fuck that means, but I know we're supposed to match and—"

"Hey, Bella!"

Alice suddenly appears out of nowhere when we reach the cafeteria, interrupting Mike in the middle of his sentence. She completely ignores him and smiles radiantly at me. Today she's dressed in black tights, a deep red short, gauzy skirt and a long sleeved tight black shirt. She looks like a sexy, dark ballerina.

"Hey, Alice," I answer easily.

"Come sit with us!" she says cheerfully, grabbing my hand and dancing away, her little black flats slapping on the tile.

Alice grabs two lunch trays and skips through the line, picking out different fruits and veggies, all from the back of the bins, and filling both trays. She hands one to me with a smile and prances over to her usual lunch table. I hesitate, noticing a familiar tangle of reddish hair already sitting there. I take a deep breath and follow Alice.

"Hey, Ali, what'd you bring me?" Edward quips as Alice sits down next to him. He reaches for her apple and she slaps his hand away.

"Get your own damn food, brother," she says with a smile, turning to me. "Bella, come sit down."

Edward stiffens slightly, clearly trying not to turn around. I take a seat on the other side of Alice, across from him, keeping my eyes on my plate. I open the container of apple and orange slices, noticing that the fruit is crisper than usual when I bite into a slice.

"Holy fuck, this is actually good," I say in surprise, looking up at Alice.

"They keep all the good stuff in the back," Alice admits, opening her container of yogurt. She dips her spoon into the creamy pink, fishing out a strawberry, and turns to Edward. "Where is everyone?"

"Emmett had some last minute football thing or some shit," he answers. "And Rosalie had a Student Council meeting. What about Jasper?"

"He's making up a test," Alice says, transferring the spoonful of yogurt into her mouth. She looks back and forth between Edward and I and then suddenly jumps up. "I forgot a drink! You guys want anything?"

"I'm good," I answer, my eyes still trained on my food.

"Just a coke for me, Ali," Edward says. I listen to the sound of Alice's retreating footsteps and then Edward speaks up, talking in a low voice. "How are you today?"

"I'm okay," I answer with a shrug.

"Bella, look at me," Edward whispers.

I raise my eyes to see him looking at me intently; his forehead is creased with worry as he searches my face.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"Nothing," I lie, tearing my eyes away before I blurt out what I'm really thinking.

"Bullshit, just tell me," he hisses.

I ignore him as the damn lyrics from last night's song echo through my mind.

_Don't tell anyone or you'll just be another regret._

"Bella," he says insistently. "Talk to me."

"Fuck you," I spit, grabbing my backpack and marching out of the cafeteria.

I contemplate sitting in my truck but I know the fucker will find me there. Instead, I head straight to class, even though I'm like thirty fucking minutes early. At the last second, I veer off to the girl's bathroom instead.

I push open the door to find the bimbo that likes to chat up Mike fixing her lipstick in the mirror. She turns around curiously when I walk in, a sneer playing on her lips.

"Well, hey there, Bella," she says in a sickly sweet voice, capping her lipstick. "I saw Mike talking to you earlier."

"Yeah, so?" I say, crossing my arms impatiently. I had really wanted to sneak a fucking smoke in here but this bitch looked like a snitch.

"Did he ask you to the dance?" she asks, focusing on her reflection in the mirror and fluffing her fake blonde hair.

"Why do you give a shit?" I snap; can't she just spit the shit out and tell me what she wants?

"He's going with me," she insists, looking at me with her hands firmly planted on her curvy hips, her oversized chest puffed up.

"Seriously? That's what's got your panties in a twist?" I laugh, waving my hand at her. "He's all fucking yours."

"Good," she says, sauntering forward until she's standing right in front of me, her overpowering perfume wafting around me and almost making me fucking gag. "Just stay out of my way."

She gives me the bitchiest look I've ever seen, quirking an eyebrow threateningly at me. I stare her down, daring her to try some shit with me. I'd love to smack the shit out of this chick, just to let out some frustration.

When she decides the show down is over, Jessica gives me a snide smile and leaves the bathroom, knocking into my shoulder purposely on her way out. I close my eyes, forcing myself not to spin around and grab the bitch's hair.

Once I'm alone, I lock myself in one of the stalls and dig out my pack of cigarettes. As I'm lighting one, I notice my hand still wrapped in that Ace bandage that Edward had put on. I rip it off angrily, pissed as fuck at him for being so fickle. One second he's relentlessly pursuing me, practically bugging the shit out of me with how often he's around me, and then he's acting sweet and caring, making me soup and tea. And now he's fucking ignoring me. I know I called "tree-house' but shit, can't he at least acknowledge me?

My smoke does nothing for me, once again, except for curb the nicotine craving. I flush my cigarette butt down the toilet and head to class, knowing I'm going to have to face him now. Maybe I'll get lucky and we'll have a pop quiz or some shit that doesn't involve a partner.

Edward is already at the lab table when I get there; he's absentmindedly flipping through the textbook, his chin resting on his hand. I frown, annoyed that he's acting all fucking mopey. _I'm _the one in a bad mood today, for fuck's sake, and with good reason.

I sit down with a huff, angling my chair away from him and pulling out my iPod. Before he can say anything to me, I pop in the ear buds and search for something loud. As I scroll through the songs, I see the title of the song from last night flash by.

One of the ear buds falls out and I reach down without looking to put it back in but it's not dangling in front of me like I expect. I look up in surprise to see Edward holding it between his fingers, looking at me expectantly.

"What the hell is going on?" he demands. When I try to snatch back the ear bud, he holds it farther out of reach. He looks down at my right hand and frowns. "Where the fuck is your wrist wrap?"

"Fuck, Edward, make up your mind," I grumble, taking out the other ear bud and throwing it at him. I'll just buy another pair later.

"Make up my mind about what?" he asks in an exasperated voice; he curls up the ear bud cord and sets it on the table, turning his chair to fully face me.

"Damn it, you either care about me or you don't," I growl at him, trying not to fucking yell at him. "I'm tired of this shit."

"Why would you think I don't care?" he asks in a sad voice.

"Fuck, I don't know," I say sarcastically, throwing my hands up. "Maybe because you ignored me today."

"Is that what this is about?" he asks, chuckling. "Bella, _you_ called a 'tree-house'."

"I know," I mumble and shift uncomfortably in my seat.

"Bella, look at me," he says softly; I slowly turn to look at him. His vibrant green eyes are boring into me. "I'm sorry. I thought that was what you wanted."

"What I want is…" I pause, biting my lip nervously. "I want to at least be friends. But only if you won't…regret it."

"Why would I…" Edward starts, looking bewildered and then his expression clears. "Oh fuck! You're talking about the song, aren't you?"

Edward laughs loudly, making a few heads turn. I look away, acting like I don't hear him. This boy confuses the shit out of me.

"Would you shut the fuck up and tell me what you mean," I hiss under my breath.

"Sorry, I just didn't think you'd take that part seriously," he chuckles, running his hand through his bronze hair. "Didn't you listen to the other lyrics?"

"Well, yeah but—"

"But you chose to hear that part didn't you?" he says gently. "Because that's what you're worried is going to happen. Listen to it again, please and pay attention to the last half."

He hands me the ear buds and I snatch them back irritably. I find the song easily and put the ear buds in, glaring at Edward who's sitting there smugly, watching me out of the corner of his eye.

I sigh and press play. When the guitar rips let off a bit near the end, I listen carefully.

_The way she feels inside_

_ Those thoughts I can't deny_

_ These sleeping dogs won't lie_

_ And now I try to lie_

_ It's eating me apart_

_ Trace this life back_

My head snaps up in shock as I realize what he's trying to say. His eyes are already locked on mine, a small smile on his lips.

"You're a good secret, angel," he says quietly and I blush, casting my eyes down.

_Fuck, is he serious?_

* * *

><p>My night at home is uneventful. I do some homework, all the while staring out my window and wondering what the fuck Edward is doing. It hadn't felt right calling him a friend but I don't know what else to call us. In a way, he annoys the shit out of me, like with his persistence. At the same time, he could be so fucking sweet and caring. The young Bella always came out when he was around, making me forget all the shit in my past that I had hoped I left behind when I left Arizona.<p>

But I know that shit will follow me forever, especially if I keep holding it in. I can feel it eating away at me, wanting to fucking burst out of my mouth and get it out there, but I know as soon as I tell someone, it'll make them see me differently, will make them fucking pity me and I don't want that shit.

So what would be the fucking point of baring my soul if all it meant was someone feeling sorry for me? For all I know, I'd share my shitty past and whoever I told would either take off running—and rightly so—or stick around, just to make me feel better.

Fuck no, I won't have that. I can't have that.

* * *

><p>Tuesday morning, I wake up late with barely enough time for a quick shower and to grab a granola bar on the way out before I rush to school. When I get there, Edward is leaning against his Volvo; he smiles crookedly at me as I walk towards him and, once again, I return the smile without even thinking.<p>

Just before I get to him, Edward turns around and grabs two paper coffee cups off the roof of his car. He hands me one and I take it gratefully but bewilderedly. How did he know I was too late to grab some?

"Good morning, angel," he says brightly.

"Hey, how did you know?" I ask, holding up the cup.

"Normally, you leave before I do," he answers as we walk towards the buildings. "When you didn't, I figured you were late and might need a pick me up."

"Shit, you're like a mind reader," I joke as I sip my coffee; today, he mixed it perfectly with a bit of cream and sugar.

"Naw, you're just easy to read," he says, nudging my shoulder; my arm tingles at the contact.

We part and go off to our different first periods. Throughout second and third period, Mike keeps watching me from his seat on the far side of the room. Each time, I busy myself with some bullshit note-taking or reading to avoid his gaze and before the bell can ring between each class, I put my ear buds in and take off before he can catch me.

Jessica is in my fourth period class and she notices Mike watching me and starts shooting me fucking dagger eyes. I just smirk and ignore her.

When lunch comes around, I'm almost excited to see Edward. Now that we somewhat cleared things up, I feel better about sitting at his table.

After I pick up a salad, I automatically head towards the table. Alice spots me from across the room and I nod my head at her in greeting. She narrows her eyes at me and springs up, leaving her lunch behind. I watch her in confusion and take her empty seat next to Edward. He's sitting there with his eyes closed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"What's going on?" I ask slowly. Edward looks up quickly, his irritated expression clearing when he sees it's me.

"Nothing, angel, just a spat between twins," Edward says quietly.

"Huh, I didn't realize you were twins," I answer, squeezing a packet of ranch dressing onto my salad.

"But they look exactly alike!" a deep voice exclaims from across the table.

I look up to see Edward's beefy brother sitting across from me, smiling toothily. He's leaning back in his chair, balancing on the back two legs. He drops the chair down with a bang and crosses his arms on the table.

"So this is your new chick, huh?" he asks Edward, winking at me.

"We're friends," I answer quickly, feeling a blush creep up my neck.

"Shut up, Emmett," Edward snaps as Emmett chuckles.

"Alright, fine!" he says, holding up his hands in surrender. He looks to the blonde guy sitting next to him. "What's your problem, Jasper?"

"Nothing, I just think I missed a few questions on that test I took yesterday," he says, his distraught eyes staring at the door that Alice left through. "I'm thinking I better go talk to the teacher before lunch is over."

"Just let it go…Shit, I gotta go meet Rose," Emmett says, looking at his watch. After he leaves, Edward looks to Jasper.

"Go talk to her," he says in a low voice.

Jasper nods once and leaves, confusing the hell out of me. He didn't even do so much as look at me the entire time I was there. I watch him walk away in his torn jeans and dark t-shirt and then look at Edward.

"What the fuck is going on?" I ask.

"Alice and I just aren't agreeing," Edward shrugs. "No big deal."

I can tell Edward is hiding something but decide to ignore it for now.

We sit in slightly uncomfortable silence for a few minutes while I eat my salad. Just as Edward is turning to me, opening his mouth to ask me something, the fire alarm goes off, interrupting him.

"Aw, shit," he groans pushing back his chair.

"A fire drill during lunch?" I ask, gathering up my things.

"Probably someone being stupid," Edward sighs. "We're supposed to meet up with whatever period we had last out on the football field."

"Guess I'll see you in Bio," I say sadly.

Edward gives me a crooked smile and meanders off towards a group of kids that look to be waiting for him. I turn around and head the opposite direction. I'm barely out the door when Alice appears in front of me.

"Shit!" I cry, grabbing my throat in surprise. "Quit doing that!"

"Sorry," Alice says in a strange tone; it's not exactly cold but it's not friendly either. "Let's go sneak off for a smoke."

She turns around and heads across campus, stopping at the girl's restroom the farthest from the football field. The whole time we're walking, she doesn't bother to look back at me to make sure I'm following. I just follow her tiny body that's clad in the usual black, today being tight jeans and a long sleeved shirt that looks a few inches too long for her. I notice she's wearing the little black ballet flats again but she's not walking with her usual bounciness.

When we reach the bathroom, she walks in and turns to me.

"I'm out, do you mind?" she asks, shaking back her sleeve and holding out her hand. Her face is oddly blank, her smoky eyes looking more black than brown.

I wordlessly get out my cigarettes and lighter, shaking out two paper cylinders and handing her one. I pass the lighter to her after I light my own stick and she wanders over to the window at the end of the row of sinks. The glass is frosted, so no one can see in; she pulls the latch and pushes it open just enough to vent the smoke.

"So, what's going on with you and my brother?" she asks bluntly, leaning against a sink and propping her elbow up on her hip, holding her cigarette away from her body.

"Uh, nothing, we're friends," I tell her, taking a drag.

"Just friends, is that right?" she asks frigidly, flicking the ash off her cigarette. I nod and she continues. "You better mean that because if something else happens to my brother, I will personally tear you to fucking shreds."

I stare at Alice in confusion, completely taken aback at the sudden change in character. Her expression doesn't change except for raising her eyebrows in question.

"Alright, I get it," I say weakly.

"Good," she says expressionlessly, throwing her unsmoked cigarette in the toilet. As she passes by me, she says, "And smoking is bad for you."

I stand in the bathroom, my smoke burning itself out, as I try to figure out what the fuck just happened. Why the hell would Edward's dark pixie sister warn me against fucking breaking his heart or some shit? Was Edward telling her things that he had promised to keep secret?

"Fuck!"

The cigarette burns itself up to my fingers, scorching my skin. I drop it quickly, hurrying to run my red fingers under the cold tap, still trying to sort out my thoughts.

I let my fingers run under the water until they turn numb and then shut off the water and stand with my back to the sink.

Did it look like I was falling for him? It sure as shit didn't feel that way, at least I don't think so. If anything, it felt like I was softening up to his kindness. But how the fuck would I know if that meant he had a thing for me? For all I knew, he treated all his friends this way. And dumb ass me was thinking that meant he really cared. What a stupid thing to think.

And now, I was going to have to go off to Biology with him and pretend like I didn't just get told off by his sister.

His sister that just started to spill something about his past… Was there something else he was hiding? What did she mean when she said she didn't want "something else" to happen to her brother?

I growl angrily and push off from the sink. I wasn't getting any answers standing around in the girl's bathroom, talking to myself. I lock myself in one of the stalls for the second time this week to wait for campus to clear for the next period. I really hope hiding out in the bathroom doesn't turn into a fucking habit.

When I finally get the chance, I make my way around the back of the buildings and out to the parking lot, lighting another cigarette along the way. When I get in the truck, I pull out the pack to check how many are left.

"Fucking shit!"

I only have two left, meaning I'll either need to find a store that won't ask for my I.D. or find someone to get them for me. If I had actually made friends with Emmett, maybe he could get them for me since he was clearly old enough but he'd probably tell Edward. Things would just be better if I just cut myself off from that family. First I get too fucking close to the beautiful brother, and then I piss off the pixie sister. No need to add the big fucker in there too. Shit, way to start things over in a new place…

When I get home, Charlie is thankfully still at work. After I let myself in, I flop down on the couch to find something to watch. I'm not even settled for a few minutes when my phone buzzes. I ignore it but it buzzes again… and then again.

"Holy shit, man, relax," I mumble to myself and flip open my phone.

All three messages are from Edward, of course. The first says:

_Where are you?_

The second was sent just five minutes later:

_Are you sure you're feeling okay angel?_

The third was sent only minutes later:

_ What the fuck is going on? If you don't answer soon, I'm going to come looking for you. I'm not shitting you, Bella._

I sigh heavily and throw the phone back down. I don't owe him shit. It was his fucking meddling sister that decided I wasn't good enough for him. Shit, maybe I really wasn't. Well, at least I found out before I got too involved…

I lounge around on the couch, ignoring every text message that comes in. I'm about to get up for a snack when my cell starts ringing. I consider ignoring the call, too, but fuck me, I can't help but give him something.

I growl to myself in frustration and grab the phone off the couch. I flip it open and press it to my ear.

"What?" I snap into the receiver.

"Bella, what the fuck?" Edward snarls into the phone. "Where the hell are you?"

"Home," I answer simply, heading into the kitchen.

"Care to tell me why?" he asks; I can practically see him pinching the bridge of his nose as he tries to calm his anger.

"What the fuck does it matter to you?" I ask acidly, grabbing a banana from the bowl on the counter and walking back to the couch.

"Don't be this way," he sighs exasperatedly. "Just… please, tell me what's wrong."

I sit back on the couch, my will completely dissolving when he fucking pleads with me. But my anger with his sister isn't gone yet.

"Why don't you ask your fucking _twin_," I mutter angrily.

Edward is silent for so long that I wonder if he hung up. I look at the cell screen and it says the call is still connected so I place it back to my ear. When he still doesn't say anything, I sigh impatiently.

"Don't listen to Alice," he finally says in a low and strangely calm voice. "I'll talk to her. Just next time, tell me what's wrong before I do something to seriously fuck something up."

"Yeah, alright," I mumble, not sure why I'm agreeing to his request or why he's so angry.

"I gotta go," he says quietly. "Last period is about to start. I'll probably see you Thursday."

"Wait, why not tomorrow?" I ask, trying to keep the panic out of my voice.

"Tomorrow is a teacher work day, Bella," he says, sounding amused.

"Oh, right," I grumble. "Yeah, see you later."

"Bye, angel."

"Bye."

I hang up, wondering if I should have asked him to the tree-house tonight or tomorrow. I'm already getting used to see him every day, even if things are fucked up at the time. But maybe, after the shit Alice said, a little time apart will be good.

I seriously doubt that.

After I finish my snack, I wander the house, unsure of what to do. I end up going to bed early and wake up to the sound of Charlie heading off to work. Rolling over, I see that it's fucking six thirty in the morning.

I try to go back to sleep, but give up by seven. What the fuck am I supposed to do all day?

I lay there, seething over the events of the day before, thinking I'll just fuck it all and call Edward anyway. But it had sounded like he wanted some space.

Then, inspiration hits: I'll call Jake.

Ignoring the time, I snatch up my phone and dial his number. He answer quicker than I expect, sounding wide awake.

"Hey, beautiful," he says cheerfully.

"Hey, what the fuck are you doing up so early?" I ask, sitting up and stretching my arms over my head.

"School, duh," he laughs.

"Shit, we have a day off," I frown; there goes my day all over again.

"Ah, school is overrated anyway," he scoffs and I laugh.

"Well then, how about you keep me company?"

"Totally!" he says with enthusiasm. "I might wanna stay off the res, though. Don't wanna get caught."

"I'll come pick you up," I offer, climbing out of bed. "Just let me shower real quick."

"Mmm why don't you wait and I can join you," Jake says in a low, gravelly voice.

"Ha! You wish," I laugh, grabbing my bathroom necessities off my desk.

"Oh, yes I do," he says and I swear I can hear him fucking wink.

"See you in twenty, smartass," I say, snapping the phone shut.

Maybe this day won't be a fucking waste after all…

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><p><strong>So, Bella's trip to La Push was supposed to be in this chapter as well but it was getting too long which means next chapter! Whoo!<strong>

**Truth: The Steve Miller Band really was the first real concert I ever went to. My bf and I won tickets on the radio. What's funny is that when he was younger, it was HIS first concert and when HIS brother was younger, it was HIS first concert too! Ha! Guess I fit right in with the family!**

**Question: What was YOUR first concert? And please don't say Steve Miller Band… That'll just freak me out. Unless you really mean it… but it'll still freak me out! And review, my lovelies! I can never have too many reviews!**


	5. Chapter 5: My Blue Heaven

**So, funny story… My number one reader, Sayaki, left another awesome review and after talking for a few, I asked her to be my pre-reader. She agreed and then surprised the crap out of me when she said she's actually a good friend that I've known for 10+ years! Apparently, she found my first story (With You in My Head, which is currently on hiatus, sorry) on my Facebook somehow and really likes my reading so she created a FF account. Took a while for that to sink in lol. So, please, any more readers who I actually know in RL, please step up! One stalker is enough—though I love ya, Sayaki! **

**Disclaimer: I own an oil lantern and the storyline but not the original crazy kids of this story. Her name is Stephenie Meyer.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5: My Blue Heaven<strong>

The sun peaks out from behind the clouds as I drive to La Push, giving me hope that today might be a good day. The weak rays aren't warm enough for me but I roll my window down anyway, enjoying the light breeze. I brush the long tendrils out of my face as I park at the beach, instantly spotting Jacob's tall form leaning against a nearby tree.

I wave at him from the window and he bounds over, jumping into the passenger seat. He's all fucking smiles and warmth and I grin back, my cares easily forgotten; definitely a good idea to come here today.

"Hey, sexy, where to today?" he asks with a wink.

"Fuck, I don't care, anywhere really," I answer, shifting in my seat to look at him. "We could go to the movies in Port Angeles."

"Sounds like a plan," he says, strapping on his seat belt.

We talk cheerfully as I drive us out of town, Jacob's brightness instantly lifting my mood. I tell him about Mike and his attempts to ask me out and Jacob tells me about how he and Leah are "on a break", admitting that he doesn't know what the hell it really means. We both agree that it means they can both do whatever the fuck they please as long as the option to get back together is still there.

"Guess that means I'm free to get with you," Jacob says, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

"Jacob," I say warningly. "You know we're not like that."

"We could be," he suggest in a low voice.

I groan loudly, shaking my head and pulling into the parking lot behind the movie theatre. Jacob laughs and we climb out of the truck.

There's a new slasher movie playing, one of the really horrible ones that's recent but looks like it came straight out of the fucking eighties. Jake and I laugh through the whole thing, annoying the shit out of the few people in the theatre. About halfway through, a pop-out moment actually makes me jump and Jacob takes my hand.

I've always liked the feel of Jacob's hand—warm and surprisingly soft—but today, it doesn't feel right. For the first time since I called Jacob, I think about Edward and wish that it was his cool, slender hand wrapped around mine.

I try to extract my hand discreetly but that only makes Jacob hold tighter. I sigh quietly and decide to just fucking go with it. What harm could it do?

After the movie, we walk to a nearby pizza place where Jacob gives me shit about not eating pepperoni on my pizza.

"Your name is fucking Italian," he points out through a mouthful of food. "Any Italian would cringe at your choice of pineapple on your pizza."

"Well, _I_ am not fucking Italian, Jake!" I argue. "So I will put whatever shit I want on my pizza, thank you very much."

Jacob rolls his eyes and swallows his enormous bite.

"Wanna go back to my house after this?" he asks with a smirk. "I should be done with school by now."

"Yeah, sure," I agree. "You can tell me all about what you learned in school today."

We laugh together and when we're finished, we get back into the truck and drive back to his house, this time arguing over what station to listen to on the way.

Jacob's house is empty when we get there so we take over the couch. While he sits on one end, I stretch out sideways, taking off my shoes and putting them in Jacob's lap. He turns on the TV to some mindless cartoon so I shove him with my foot.

"C'mon, there has to be shit on that's better than this," I complain.

"Maybe, but I wasn't really planning on watching anything," he says with a sly grin.

I narrow my eyes at him, trying to figure out what he's talking about. Instead of clarifying, he grabs my feet and yanks me down the couch, closer to him and making me gasp.

"What the hell?" I say breathlessly as he leans over me, placing his hands on either side of me.

"I told you, Bella," he says in a low voice. "I have no attachments right now. So why not…"

He leans in but just before his lips touch mine, I turn my head.

"I told you why not," I say, trying to squirm out from under him but he presses his mouth firmly to mine before I can finish.

His lips are hot and wet and I seal my own shut as I feel his tongue dart out to try to enter my mouth. He growls quietly and pulls away.

"Don't be like that," he murmurs, brushing my hair away from my face and leaning closer again.

"Jake, I told you," I say, struggling to get out from under him again. "I don't feel like that about you."

"I never asked you to feel anything," he says, trailing his nose along my cheek. "I just thought we could, you know… get a little something out of each other. You've liked it before…"

"Yeah, when I was drunk or high," I say with an exasperated laugh.

"So, what… you only get horny when you're out of it?" he accuses, pulling back again and narrowing his eyes at me. "That's bullshit, Bella. If you feel even a little attraction to me then, you've got to be feeling something now. Let's at least try."

I frown, knowing this is a fucking bad idea. But he's got a point; if it feels okay then, why not now? It's not like I really have anyone else to do this shit with. And a girl does have needs…

"Shit, okay fine," I groan and his face lights up; I hold up a finger. "But if it starts to feel fucking weird—for either of us—we stop, got it?"

"Got it," he says happily.

Before I can rethink it, I let Jacob kiss me again. When I don't resist, he kisses harder, his tongue snaking out and licking my lip. I let him in, tasting the coke and pepperoni from lunch and I nearly pull back again. I don't even get the chance; Jacob lowers his body onto mine, pinning me to the couch. I can feel his hard dick on my thighs as he rubs against me, trying to get me to let him closer. I open my legs tentatively and gasp as he rubs me harder. He takes it as a good gasp but its not. He's pushing me too far too fast; I turn my head away to disconnect our lips.

"Jake, this isn't… this isn't…right," I gasp; I can hardly breathe, he's pushing against me so hard.

"Aw, c'mon baby," he rumbles, placing sloppy kisses down my neck. "Just go with it."

He thrusts his hips against me harder, making me wince at the pain in my pelvic bone. His hands roam up my body, tugging at the bottom of my shirt. His large, hot hands grab at my middle, forcing my body closer to his.

And suddenly, my mind is no longer in the moment. It flashes back to a different body, a different voice calling me "baby" as he takes advantage of my body.

"Jake, no!" I say loudly, putting my hands on his chest and pushing hard. Though I'm no where near strong enough to move him, the sudden change makes him sit up. He looks down at me, hurt and anger clear on his face.

"What the fuck, Bella?" he spits at me. "What's the problem?"

"This isn't right!" I yell at him, rubbing my eyes to try to erase the memories flooding in. "I don't want you this way."

"Fuck, want me to get some booze out?" he shouts back, sitting up straighter and throwing his hands up. "I can get you good and plastered and then we can try again."

"Jacob, that's completely out of line!" I scoot away, closing my legs and crossing my arms across my chest.

"Is it?" he says with a humorless laugh. "That seems to be the only way to get any sort of feeling out of you these days. I know you're hot for me—"

I cut him off with a snorting laugh.

"What the fuck ever gave you that idea?" I ask, standing up and looking down at him.

"Because, every time, you kiss me back," he snarls, getting up to tower over me. "So what's going on this time? Is there someone else?"

I glare at him, willing the angry tears not spill out. I'm thinking of two people right now holding me back, one that I can't have and one that ruined everything for me. I clench my teeth together, breathing heavily as I restrain myself.

Jacob's shoulders visibly relax as one tear slips out. He cradles my face in his hands, brushing away the tear with his thumb.

"Just calm down, I'm not going to hurt you," he whispers. "You know I care about you."

"I care about you too, Jake," I say in a shaky voice. "I'm just… it just…"

"Shhh, it's okay," he says, shifting his body closer. "I won't hurt you."

I hold still as Jacob presses his lips gently to mine. I try to feel something, anything, but this is just wrong. I don't have fucking butterflies or sweaty palms. I don't feel giddy and I do not want more. But apparently Jacob does.

He slides his hands down my back until he reaches my ass. His hands rub roughly over the denim as he growls throatily and then shoves me up against him again.

I let out a small whimper and push against his chest again. He growls again, angrily this time, and holds me tighter. I claw at his arms, trying to get him the fuck off, but that seems to make him think that I'm getting into it and he bites down on my lower lip.

The second I feel his teeth on my mouth, I snap. I pull my arm back and punch him square in the jaw. His face is hard as a rock but he's so taken aback that his head jerks away from my face.

"Ow, Bella! What the fuck?" he exclaims, stepping back and rubbing his chin.

"I told you to back the fuck off!" I scream back at him, ignoring the throbbing in my hand as I stumble backwards.

Before he can say anything else, I turn and run from the room, tripping slightly over the door frame. I throw myself into my truck just as he reaches the porch, calling out my name. I ignore him and gun the engine, tears falling freely down my face.

I feel like I can't get home fast enough. As soon as I get to my street, I push my ancient engine faster; I swerve into my driveway, parking at an angle and rush into the house.

I pound up the stairs and into my room, slamming the door behind me. I lie down on my bed, face down, trying to catch my breath through my tears. I yelp as my phone buzzes in my pocket. I roll over and flip it open, wiping the tears off my face and only hoping to see one name on the screen.

But of course it's fucking Jacob. I press the read button to see what he has to say for himself.

_Bella, I'm sorry. I thought you'd get more comfortable the longer we did things._

I let out a hysterical laugh and type out a reply with shaking fingers.

_Well, you were fucking wrong. Next time, listen when I tell you to get the fuck away._

I press send and wait for his answer. The cell screen doesn't even get a chance to turn dark when it lights up again with another message.

_So, are you saying there will be a next time? ;)_

I gape at the phone. I can't believe this fucker has the nerve to pull this shit. I'm so angry that I miss most of the buttons as I try to text him back and have to try again.

_Don't be fucking cute with me, you ass! Just leave me the fuck alone for a while._

After I send off the message, I toss the phone on my bedside cabinet and get up to shower again. I need to get this shitty feeling off of me. But even after I shower for half an hour, using up twice as much shampoo and body wash as usual, I still feel slightly dirty.

As I'm toweling off my hair, my stomach grumbles. I dress in pajama shorts and a tank top and wrap my fuzzy purple throw blanket that I usually use to block the smell of cigarettes from seeping under my door around my waist, figuring I'll just come back up to my room. I go downstairs to look for food and find Charlie on the couch with a bowl of spaghetti in his hands. He looks up in surprise when he sees me.

"Oh, hey Bells, didn't realize you were still up," he says as I sit down in the arm chair next to the couch.

"Its not even fucking seven, why wouldn't I be up?" I ask sharply.

"Bella," Charlie frowns at me.

"Sorry," I say with a sigh and then nod at the bowl in his hands. "Is there any meat in that?"

"No, I actually made the meat on the side in case you wanted any," he says gruffly, turning his attention back to the TV. I stare at him in surprise; that was really fucking thoughtful of him.

"Thanks," I say quietly. I go make myself a bowl and sit back down with him, tucking my blanket securely around my legs.

After nearly an hour of sitting in uncomfortable silence, we start joking about the old Star Trek episodes that come on—the original ones with the shitty dialogue and laughable special effects. I'm so grateful for the distraction from what happened earlier that I don't even realize how late it's getting.

"Oh, wow, we better head off to bed, kiddo," Charlie says, looking at his watch. "It's after eleven already and you have school tomorrow."

"Yeah, I know, I'll go in just a few," I say, not really wanting to go to sleep yet; I can already feel the fucking nightmares coming.

Charlie waves goodnight to me and trudges up the stairs. I stay in the arm chair, trying to keep myself awake, but I can feel my eyelids drooping. I think about making some coffee to stay up a bit later but as soon as I think it, I fall straight asleep.

* * *

><p><em>It's pouring rain. <em>

_I can hear it on the roof but when I look out the window, I see the Arizona skyline. It's scalding hot outside; I can see the steam rising from the street and the sun high above the houses. Inside, I'm in my new bedroom. The curtains framing the old window are a faded yellow. In Arizona, I had blinds._

_I turn and find myself not in my room in Forks but suddenly in the middle of my mother's living room. The furniture is brand new, the expensive glass coffee table gleaming in the afternoon sun streaming in through the window. _

_The house is silent. But I can feel that someone is in the room._

_All of a sudden, a pair of hands wrap around my waist. I jump in surprise but hear Edward's velvet voice whisper in my ear._

"_I want you."_

_I smile and turn to wrap my arms around him._

_But I find myself looking into faded blue eyes and blonde hair hidden under a blue baseball cap._

_Phil leers at me, gripping my upper arms tightly. I try to scream but no sound comes out. He laughs and tries to kiss me. When I pull away, he growls in fury and throws me from him._

_I fall in slow motion, my arms flailing uselessly. I'm going to hit the glass coffee table. I can already feel the sharp stabs of the glass piercing my skin._

My eyes snap open just as I hear the glass shattering. I'm in my bed, sweating and panting as though I really had just fallen. It takes me a few minutes to figure out where I am; Charlie must have carried me to bed. I cautiously look around the room, expecting to see my step-dad from my dream, and breathe a small sigh of relief when I realize that I'm obviously alone in my bedroom in Forks.

I sit up slowly, my limbs shaking. I want to be somewhere I feel even safer.

I look out the window and it really is raining hard outside. But I want to be in the tree-house with my stash of books.

I throw the covers back and shove my feet into my Converse sneakers. I tie them quickly, throw on my hoodie and race to the window.

A gust of freezing air blows through the window as I open it, the branches outside flecking bits of water on my bare legs. I look down at my skimpily clad lower body and grab the throw blanket. I wrap it around me and carefully climb out to the tree-house.

It takes me longer than usual to get to safety; the wind is blowing so hard I nearly fall off the ladder twice.

When I make it inside, I grope around near my treasure box for my old lantern, hoping there's still oil inside of it and that the wick is dry. My fingers encounter smooth glass and cold metal. I pull out the tall lantern, check the wick and light it. The flame flickers to light; I turn the knob to make it glow brighter and sit on the floor with my back against the bean bag.

I wrap the blanket tighter around myself, shivering as the tree-house creaks in the wind. I suddenly worry that the house is getting too old, that my weight and the weather can't hold it anymore. But I can't bring myself to go back into my room yet.

I sit with my arms around my knees, staring blankly at the rough wood floor, trying to forget about the man I dreamt about.

I hear the wooden steps outside the door creak; I stiffen, suddenly terrified of who would be out in this weather.

A mess of red-brown hair hidden under a dark blue hood appears in the doorway. Edward enters in a crouch, shaking his hood down and running his long, pale fingers through his mop of hair.

"Shit, it's really coming down out there," he mutters, wiping drops of water off his sleeves.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I blurt out.

"You know, you ask me shit like that a lot," he laughs, sitting next to me. "And you use the word fuck even more."

"Well, you can use it in so many ways," I say sarcastically. "A noun, a verb, an adjective…"

Edward laughs loudly, throwing his head back. I can't help but smile hugely, loving the sound of his laugh. I look down, hiding my happiness, as he looks back at me, still smirking.

"Good point," he says.

"What I meant was how'd you know I was here?" I ask.

"I saw your lamp," he says, pointing at the bright flame. "Bad dream?"

I look up, startled at his question. He moves closer, making me shift uncomfortably, but he doesn't get any closer than more than an arm's length away. He looks at me with his eyebrows pulled low over his deep green eyes, his mouth turned down into a frown.

"I promise you," he whispers. "Nothing leaves this tree-house."

I can't take my eyes off of his. He's staring at me so intensely, his gaze darting between my eyes as he waits patiently. And, again, I feel unusually at ease around him.

"I dreamt I was being attacked," I admit, finally tearing my gaze from his. I look down and my hair swings forward, hiding my face.

"Have you had dreams like this before?" he asks softly. I nod and he continues, "Is it someone you know in the dreams?"

I hesitate. This was exactly the shit I didn't want to burden anyone else with. But I figure…what the hell, as long as nothing leaves the tree-house, like he promised, then I might as well.

"It's my step-dad, Phil," I say in barely more than a whisper.

Edward tenses and he moves closer another couple of inches. My breathing speeds up and I tighten my arms around my legs, bringing them closer to my chest.

"Bella, why did you move here?" he asks abruptly and I look up unexpectedly.

"I kept getting in fights," I say in an even tone, looking down again. "My mom didn't want to deal with me anymore so she figured, sending me to live with my cop of a dad would—"

"Bullshit," Edward growls, stopping me mid-ramble and making me look up with wide eyes. His eyes are narrowed to tiny slits. "That's the story you tell just anyone. I'm not just anyone so tell me what really happened."

"Well, what the fuck do you think happened?" I demand, my face burning up as my anger flares.

"It doesn't take a genius to figure it out," he spits at me. "You obviously miss home and hate it here but you're dreaming about your step-dad attacking you."

I attempt to hide my gasp. It was stupid of me to give so much away.

"Why do you give a shit?" I try to say with as much venom as possible; I'm really getting tired of him caring for no reason. No one does that without a hidden motive.

"Were you really sent away or did you send yourself away?" he asks, his voice shaking slightly with suppressed anger—but anger at whom, I don't know.

We stare each other down, neither of us blinking or looking away. His stare bores into mine, the jade green softening by the second as my own eyes start to fill with tears. My lower lip trembles and I bite down on it to try to stop it but he sees.

Edward moves close enough that I can feel the warmth of his body. I take a deep breath to calm myself, breathing in his sweet scent. I breathe in again and feel a tear slip down my cheek. I swipe it away angrily, mad that he broke me.

"You can tell me, angel," Edward whispers, cautiously putting a hand on my shoulder.

I let out a shaky breath, unable to believe that this one person is able to see through me when he barely knows me or why he keeps coming back after all the fucked up shit that keeps going on between us.

I look away, biting my lip so hard I can taste blood. The rain pounds the roof of the tree-house, the wind makes the walls shudder violently. Edward sits close to me, breathing evenly as my breath comes in short gasps.

Slowly, he moves his hand across my back to rest on my other shoulder. He gently tugs me closer until my shoulder is resting against his chest. I let out a deep, shuddering breath, melting into his touch.

Damn it, how does this boy do this to me?

"It's okay to tell someone," he whispers in my ear. "It helps to talk about it."

"I tried," I say in a shaky voice. "But no…no one believed me."

Edward's hand tightens painfully on my arm. I look up at him in alarm. His eyes are clenched shut and he's pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. He lets out a low growl.

"I-I'm sorry," I stutter and start to disentangle myself but he holds me firmly.

"You have nothing to be sorry about," he says quietly, still holding the bridge of his nose. "Will you tell me what happened?"

"Are you sure you want to know?" I say in a low voice, worried that it'll make him angrier.

Edward lifts his head, sighs and looks right at me seriously.

"Please," is all he says.

I take a deep breath, stunned that I'm actually going to tell him this.

"When I was eleven, my mother married Phil," I start quietly. "He was a really nice guy—a baseball player that was eager to be my best friend more than anything. He tried his damndest to impress me, buying me all kinds of shit. My mom never had much money so I wasn't used to it. But I loved it.

"Then, just after my thirteenth birthday, my mom started a new job and Phil had to stay home with me for the first time. I wasn't worried though, he was a lot of fun. He said we were going to watch a movie, stay up late if I wanted to…He kept telling me how cute I looked in my pajamas and how I smelled so good…"

I stop, not sure if I can continue. This is where it gets tough and of course Edward can sense it. He leans forward, forcing me to meet his gaze. I can barely see through the wetness in my eyes but I can tell he looks concerned.

"Bella," he says slowly, brows furrowing in concentration. "Did he… touch you?"

I nod once, clenching my teeth together to stop the tears from flowing.

"How long… did this go on?" he whispers, his voice cracking.

"About a year," I say in a quavering voice. "And then he went on tour for the next couple of years. But every time… he came back…"

I start to gasp for breath again and Edward makes shushing sounds, rubbing my arm. When I quiet down, he tries to speak in a calm voice.

"Did he… did he ever… I mean…" Edward can't get the words out and starts breathing almost as heavily as I am. I know what he's trying to ask.

"No," I say firmly, shaking my head. "Never sex. I swear to you, I never let him fuck me. The day my mom decided I needed to leave, he was… trying. But I smashed a lamp over his head. My mom came home right after and almost decided to arrest me. She figured I was drinking."

I laugh dryly.

"Were you?" Edward asks soberly.

"Actually, yes," I sigh. "I knew he was coming home that day and that he'd try something. I had hoped the liquor would make me braver. I guess, in a way, it did. I never would have had the courage to fight back like that. Instead, I kept taking out my anger on people at school."

"And a wall, apparently," Edward says with a smirk. I raise my eyebrow at him

"Yeah," I say, flexing my fingers in front of me. The knuckles are tender again after hitting Jacob.

Edward surprises me by taking my hand, gently rubbing his thumb over the fading purple skin. I shiver at his cool touch, feeling tingles run up my spine. We both keep our eyes locked on our pale hands, entranced by the way they seem to fit so perfectly together.

"Bella…" he says suddenly.

"Yeah?" I breathe but he hesitates.

"I just want you to know, you're always safe with me. I'm there for you no matter what. I know you don't like to get close to people but…. I'm your friend. And I want you to feel comfortable telling me anything."

My eyes well up again so I just nod and let him hold me as the tree sways in the storm.

Sooner than I want him to, Edward lets go of my hand. He sighs and scoots away.

"I should probably get back before my sister notices I'm gone," Edward mutters. "You should probably get inside before you catch another cold. Will you be okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be okay now," I mumble glumly, my face falling. Edward notices and turns to me.

"What's wrong?" he asks, frowning again. I shrug and he raises an eyebrow.

"I don't know what it is but…" I pause, staring down at my hands and where he was just touching, running my finger over the spot. "You just seem to make everything better. Around you, I feel like I can act like…"

"Like yourself?" he finishes for me, lifting the corner of his mouth into a half-grin. "I'll keep my phone close tonight, in case you need me."

I blush, dipping my head lower to hide my face. Edward chuckles and stands up into a crouch to leave. I instantly feel freezing without him near.

Halfway down the ladder, Edward stops to pull up his hood. He stares in my direction until I look up at him. He smiles.

"By the way, I meant to tell you on Sunday when I came over," he says, leaning forward. "But without all that make-up, you look much more like… my angel."

With a smirk, he leaves me speechless again.

It doesn't take long for me to start shivering again. After some careful climbing, I make it back into my room and I dive right back into the covers. I try to close my eyes but all I can focus on is the dream. After about an hour, I grope in the dark for my phone, hoping that Edward meant it when he said he would have his phone close.

_Thanks for tonight. Can I ask for one more favor?_

I hold the phone close to my chest, waiting with bated breath to see if he answers. I don't have to wait long until my phone alerts me to another message.

_Anything, angel…_

_I need a distraction… Do you have another song for me?_

_My Blue Heaven by Taking Back Sunday. Try to sleep, angel. Goodnight._

_Goodnight, Edward._

I search my iPod and I'm surprised to see I do have the song though I don't remember the last time I listened to it; it was first released a few years ago. I press play and set my iPod at the top of my pillow.

The song begins with a soft guitar part but when the lyrics start, the drums pick up and soon the song is not as slow as I thought it would be but once again, the words ring clear.

_Two sides twist and then collide  
>You're calling off the guards<br>I'm coming through  
>Adulteress conditioned to a spin cycled submission<br>"You know, sometimes it just feels better to give in"_

_And it's all too familiar_  
><em>And it happens all the time<em>  
><em>All the cards begin to stack up<em>  
><em>Twisting heartache into fine, little pieces that avoid an awful crime<em>  
><em>But it's you I can't deny<em>

_Dull heat rises from the sheets_  
><em>I'm both a patient boy... well, and a jealous man<em>  
><em>But double standardized suspicion is remedied<em>  
><em>Oh, My Blue Heaven<em>  
><em>Sometimes it just feels better to give in<em>

_And it's all too familiar_  
><em>And it happens all the time<em>  
><em>All the cards begin to stack up<em>  
><em>Twisting heartache into fine, little pieces that avoid an awful crime<em>  
><em>But it's you I can't deny<em>

_We swing and we sway as this tiny voice in my head starts to sing_  
><em>"You're safe child, you are safe"<em>  
><em>You're safe child, you are safe<em>

I put the song on repeat and close my eyes, letting the last few tears run down my cheeks. I listen to the song three times before I end up falling asleep, this time reliving the memory of Edward holding me close as we simply hold hands.

* * *

><p>I'm exhausted when I wake up the next morning and shuffle through my morning routine, yawning the whole way. I make my coffee extra strong and head outside to find that it's not actually fucking raining. The storm clouds from the night before are still hovering, though, threatening to open up again.<p>

As I walk to my truck, I automatically turn towards Edward's house. I grimace as I notice that his car is already gone.

I climb behind the driver's seat and slam the door, more upset than I should be that he's already gone. I pull my phone out of the front pouch of my backpack, intent on sending Edward a—hopefully—innocent text asking where the fuck he is.

I flip open my phone and find that I have a message already waiting. Shit, how did I miss that?

I open the text and see that it was sent almost an hour before I had gotten up for the day. Guess I slept like the fucking dead after my nightmare; the buzzing of the phone hadn't fazed me at all.

_Good morning, angel. I hope you slept okay and that this doesn't wake you. I just wanted to let you know that I have to run an errand before school but I should be there by lunch. Meet me in the parking lot?_

I furrow my brow in confusion. What kind of shit does someone do at fucking six thirty in the morning? I shake my head and type out a response, trying to ignore the fucking stalker-like questions running through my mind. Though he's my friend, I don't need to jeopardize that by prying into his life.

_Morning, Edward. I slept like a fucking rock but I'm tired as shit. See you at my truck at lunch._

I go through my morning classes in a daze. Luckily, I have a test fourth period so after scribbling down a few bullshit answers, I'm able to lay my head down for the last half hour of class. I wake up to Mike nudging my shoulder.

"Bella, wake up, it's time for lunch," he says quietly.

"Shit," I mumble, running my hand through my hair a few times, trying to wake myself up again.

"So, I wanted to ask you," Mike says as he stacks my books up for me. "About this weekend… Did you have a date for the dance yet? And Lauren's party?"

He looks at me hopefully, his clear blue eyes staring at me intently. I merely gape at him as Jessica stalks by huffily; Mike tries to ignore her but I see his gaze flit to her retreating form.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," I laugh, snatching my books from him and stuffing them into my backpack.

"What do you mean?" he asks with a puzzled look on his face, his now empty hands still outstretched.

"Mike, I don't want to go to the fucking dance with you," I say bluntly, turning around and stalking out the door.

"Well, what about the party?" He's suddenly at my side, a fucking annoying wounded puppy dog look on his face. I swear to fucking God, this kid…

"Fuck off, Mike!" I cry, picking up my pace and heading towards the parking lot.

I get out my cigarettes and growl in frustration when I see that I fucking smoked the last one this morning. Crumpling up the pack, I throw it on the ground while simultaneously catching my sneaker on the edge of a pothole in front of my truck.

"Ah, fuck!"

I stumble forward, expecting my hands to make contact with the hard hood of my truck but I'm instead met with cool, strong arms.

"Whoa there, killer," Edward laughs as he catches me. "Trying to take me out?"

"Apparently trying to fucking take myself out," I grumble, letting him help me up; I try not to react to the electricity of his touch.

"Brought you a present."

I look up to see him holding out a new pack of cigarettes. I smile as I take it but I notice that as he smiles back, it doesn't quite reach his eyes. We walk side-by-side to the bed of my truck where he lowers the tailgate and helps me up. Even his touch is distant and he doesn't let his fingers linger for long on my mid-section.

"How were classes this morning?" he asks as he leans against the tailgate next to me.

"I could barely stay fucking awake," I say as I open the cigarettes, letting go a huge fucking yawn as though to emphasize my tiredness. "Oh and guess who tried asking me out again…"

"Fucking Newton?" he laughs but again, the sound isn't quite right; it sounds empty of any true amusement. I try to ignore it. Maybe he's just having an off day after having to get up at the ass-crack of dawn.

"Yeah, the little shithead," I complain, shaking out two cigarettes and handing him one. We pass the lighter back and forth and then sit quietly and smoke. The silence feels slightly strained but I don't know what to say.

"Well?" Edward finally says, sounding slightly impatient.

"Well, what?" I ask, taking a drag and blowing it out slowly.

"Are you going to make the boy's dream come true?" he asks with a smirk.

"Geez, he fucking wishes," I say with a chuckle. I glance at him out of the corner of my eye, noticing that he looks a bit sad. I want to ask why but instead, ask about his errand. "So what the fuck did you have to do at fucking dawn this morning?"  
>"Nothing important," he says with a shrug, still not looking at me. I frown, knowing he's hiding something now.<p>

I decide to let this go though I'm pissed that after all I shared the night before that he doesn't seem to feel the need to share fucking something about his life. And I mean anything—fuck, maybe today is the anniversary of his fucking dog getting run over or it's the first day he ever got a B on a test. I'm sure that anything sounds better than my fucked up past. Instead, he stares out at the trees parked behind my truck.

"Can I ask you something?" he asks suddenly, pulling me out of my musings.

"Sure," I say slowly, confused by the tone of his voice.

"What brought on your dream last night?"

My stomach instantly ties up in knots and I don't know what to say to him. I shift uncomfortably, taking a long drag on my cigarette. I bite my lower lip, contemplating what the fuck to tell him. I decide to go with the truth.

"I hung out with an old friend yesterday," I start quietly; he still doesn't look me. "We've been friends for fucking forever—we were each other's first kiss, first grope… it's the way we've always been. We even started experimenting together with drinking and shit. For years now, I don't let anyone get close to me, not since…"

I pause, noticing how Edward stiffens at the mention of my dark past. I clear my throat quietly, take another pull on my cigarette, and continue.

"Anyway, now whenever I feel like getting something, I need to be high or drunk. At least, I noticed that every time he and I do stuff together, I am…"

I trail off again, not sure how to explain it. I flick my cigarette onto the asphalt as Edward turns to me, his face finally showing a bit of emotion—he looks fucking pissed.

"Are you telling me, you like to get high and let this guy fuck you?" he accuses angrily.

"Fuck no!" I cry, shocked he'd jump straight to that conclusion—not that I explained myself very well. "We just grind and make-out and shit. Nothing more than that."

His expression clears a bit but he has more questions.

"So, when was the last time you guys…"

He gestures at me to finish the sentence. I take a deep breath and squint at the sky, feeling a few drops fall from the ever darkening clouds.

"Um, first week I was back, we got high and drunk and fooled around," I tell him and he surprises me by giving a short laugh.

"The day before I came over to find you looking like a hung over raccoon?" he asks, his smirk still not quite full of the emotion it usually is.

"Yes," I say, narrowing my eyes at him.

"And have you, you know… done anything since?" he asks nervously, casting his eyes down and scuffing the toe of his sneaker on the ground. He takes a drag on his cigarette, the burning paper nearing his fingers, and I notice his hands are shaking slightly.

"Um, well yesterday, he wanted to try it sober," I admit, twisting my fingers in my lap.

"And?" Edward asks swiftly and quietly, his eyes still on the movement of his foot.

"It freaked me out," I whisper honestly, my breathing picking up a little at the memory. "I wasn't really that into it and he kept telling me to try but all I kept thinking about was…"

I stop and Edward throws his cigarette on the ground, rubbing it out with his foot.

"I gotta go," he says suddenly.

"Wait, what?" I ask, springing off of the truck as he pushes off. "Where the fuck are you going? Aren't you going to class?"

"Not today," he says, looking everywhere but at me. It's bugging the shit out of me.

"Edward what's going on?" I demand, trying to catch his eye. He finally looks at me.

His normally bright green eyes look empty and dull, his face blank and hard as marble. He lets out a long breath and reaches a hand up, resting it on my neck. I shiver at his cool touch, relishing in the electric feel of his skin.

"Today is just an off day for me," he says quietly.

"Can't you tell me about it? I thought we were… friends," I say softly, nearly choking on that fucking word.

"A different day, I promise, angel," he says sweetly, sounding more like himself. He lifts the corner of his mouth into almost a genuine smile.

"Can I ask you something?" I breathe, dying to fucking know before he leaves again. He nods. "Why is Alice mad at me?"

The smile drops from his face and his forehead crinkles in a frown. I bite my lip, thinking about taking what I said back, but I had to fucking know.

"Same reason why I have to leave today," he says, his voice shaking faintly.

With that, he walks away, leaving me to stand alone by my truck. I keep watching as he gets into his Volvo, never looking back at me as he drives out of the parking lot.

It starts to sprinkle so I pull my hood up and lean back against my truck, watching as cars start trickling into the lot, signaling the end of lunch. I notice a pearl colored sports car speed into the lot, screeching to a halt over two parking spaces. The door opens and a girl with long, white-blonde hair steps out, slinging a bright pink and fucking huge ass designer purse over her shoulders. I snort as I watch her fling her sunglasses onto the driver's seat—like it's fucking bright enough out for shades.

I wonder who she is when that skank, Jessica, steps out of the passenger seat and cries out.

"Shit, I forgot my textbook in my locker and that's clear across campus," she whines, searching her backpack. "I'll see you in class, Lauren."

Jessica rushes off, leaving behind the tall blonde, Lauren. Why does that name sound fucking familiar?

"Shit, the party," I mumble to myself, suddenly struck with an idea. I grab my backpack and jog across the parking lot, calling out. "Lauren! Hey, Lauren!"

Lauren turns to me, quirking a perfectly plucked eyebrow at me in confusion until I stop in front of her; she quickly registers who I am.

"Oh, hey, Bella," she says coolly, flipping her cornsilk hair over her shoulder. "What's up?"

"Fucking Mike asked me to your party, but I was wondering if I can go alone," I ask hurriedly as the first bell rings.

"Well, I was really hoping you'd go with him," she simpers, pulling out her lipgloss and painting her plump lips. "He said he really fucking likes you."

"Yeah but I'm not fucking interested," I tell her, wondering if I can fucking murder Mike in his sleep and get away with it. "Besides that sk—I mean, Jessica likes him."

"Oh shit," Lauren says in surprise, putting her gloss back in her hip pocket. "Well, fuck, I'll tell him to take her."

"You can get him to do that?" I ask with raised eyebrows.

"It's my party, I can do whatever shit I want," she says with a false, girly laugh, starting to walk towards class. I follow quickly.

"Awesome, so do you mind?" I ask, walking alongside her.

"Mind what?" she asks stupidly and then shakes her head. "Oh, right, the party. Sure! I don't care if you come stag."

"Want me to bring anything?" I offer.

"Um, no, I already have my brother buying all the liquor and shit," she shrugs, wiggling her fingers at me and sauntering off to class.

"Fuck, yeah," I mumble to myself, needing a night of just fucking drinking to forget all the shit going on.

My mind flits back to the conversation with Edward and how I admitted to the way I normally act when I'm inebriated. Would I act like that around people other than Jacob? I push the thought away, telling myself fucking firmly that no, I will not be that whore who fucks around with anyone and everyone.

Shit, at least I hope not.

* * *

><p><strong>There ya have it! The song that inspired the story! It's freaking awesome! There's some good live versions of it on YouTube but honestly, the lead singer isn't awesome live lol. The studio version is great, though, so go listen! Tell me what you think!<strong>

**Truth: One of my favorite English teachers, Mr. Culberson, once had an on-the-fly discussion with one of his classes about the different uses of the word "fuck". Just as Bella says here, you can use it so many ways… Unfortunately, I wasn't in his class at the time but I heard that it was a fucking great discussion. See what I did there? Oh and another truth… I actually don't usually swear in RL. Just here when I'm my alter-ego.**

**Question: How's your vocabulary? Do you swear like a fucking sailor too?**


	6. Chapter 6: I'm Not Okay

**Look at that, two updates in one week! I've never written a chapter this fast. It just flowed right outta me! I was even writing in class, which I never do because I don't really like writing long hand cuz I have wrist problems… Oh and because I totally always pay attention in class! Yeah, that's it… Anyway! I realized I never warned/apologized for the subject matter of the last chapter. I hope I didn't offend anyone but I was sure not to actually go into detail about what happened in Bella's past. That's way too delicate a topic. This chapter is all Edward and explains a bit about his own dark past…**

**Disclaimer: I own three cute plaid shirts, only two decent pairs of skinny jeans because sadly the third got a hole in them…but I do not own the world that is Twilight. **

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 6: I'm Not Okay<span>

I knew Thursday would be a shitty day, especially after not getting to see Bella on Wednesday. I had picked up the fucking phone a dozen times, intent on at least texting her, but I didn't want to break down.

Wednesday night, after forcing a Benydrel on Alice so she could fucking stop crying and get some sleep, I was seriously considering going to school the next day. I didn't know if I could handle another day without Bella until I talked to her in the tree-house.

After she told me what happened with her step-dad, I nearly lost my shit right then. And to top it all off, when I managed to pull myself together to meet her for lunch Thursday, she told me about her and her friend and the fucking around and…

Fuck, I just couldn't handle that shit…

I woke up at five in the morning on Thursday in a cold sweat, shaking like fucking crazy…

Alice is still asleep, her face red and puffy from all the sobbing she did. I could hear the coffee maker beeping downstairs, meaning Esme was up and getting ready to go to her early morning meeting in Seattle. I throw on a random shirt off the floor and head downstairs, stifling a yawn.

Esme is seated at the kitchen table with her coffee and newspaper.

"Where's dad?" I ask in a gruff voice, getting myself a coffee mug and pouring the steaming liquid in.

"Emergency page at the hospital," Esme answers quietly. "I didn't really need to be up for another half hour or so but I couldn't get back to sleep after he left."

I nod and join her at the table; she doesn't comment on the fact that I'm up two hours earlier than usual and just hands me a section of the paper.

We sit for nearly an hour, drinking our coffee and reading—well, I wasn't reading. I couldn't concentrate for shit.

By six, Esme gets up from the table and kisses me on the cheek before going back to her room to get ready for her trip. I'm still undecided about school so after I hear her car leave the driveway, I go back upstairs.

When I reach Emmett's room, the door opens and out steps my burly adopted brother, his dark hair plastered down on one side, his eyes heavy with sleep. He stands staring at me, wearing nothing but old sweats, and I stare right back. When he senses that I'm not really in the mood to talk, he says something.

"Going to school?" he asks sleepily.

"No," I say after a pause. Emmett nods pensively.

"Bring her daisies for me?" he asks and I nod once before he heads towards the bathroom.

Back in my room, I put on clean clothes in the semi-darkness so that I don't wake Alice. I give her a soft kiss on the forehead and pull the covers tighter around her tiny body before grabbing my keys and going back downstairs; I can hear the shower running as I pass by the bathroom.

It's only lightly raining outside but the sky is still dark with clouds.

When I get in the Volvo, I automatically glance towards Bella's house I can see a light on in the kitchen and I guess that Charlie is already up but Bella is probably still asleep, especially after her tough night. Fuck, I hope she got back to sleep okay. I consider sneaking up to check on her but send her a text instead to let her know I won't be around but that I want to meet for lunch. I sigh heavily, wishing I was fucking strong enough to deal with my shit today and act like everything was normal.

But today hadn't been fucking normal for three years.

I feel like shit for lying to Bella by sending her such a vague text, especially after all her honesty the night before, but I'm just not ready yet.

I turn the key in the ignition, pull out and drive over to the florist, which thankfully opens fucking early. I buy a bunch of white daisies and blue wildflowers and then head to Forks Cemetery.

The sky is beginning to lighten as I park in the empty lot by the cemetery. I take another deep breath and head out into the misting rain, clutching the bundle of flowers tightly. My sneakers squish in the wet grass and I gradually slow down as I climb the small hill.

When I get to the top, I stop and stare down at the smooth gravestone. Kneeling, I set the bunch of flowers at the base of the stone, running my fingers over the marble, tracing the letters engraved there.

**Here Lies Tanya Denali**

**Beloved Daughter and Friend**

**Who Died Too Young**

**1992-2008**

I settled myself on the damp ground next to Tanya, resting my elbows on my knees. I take a deep breath and, like every time I come to visit her, I talk. I know I look fucking crazy when I do it but that's why I come so early in the morning.

I tell her about school and our old friends. I tell her about the storm that passed through, because I know she loved storms. I tell her about Esme and how well her business is doing. I talk about Carlisle and how I miss my adopted father; he's been working so much that I hardly see him these days. I talk about the Volvo I got for my sixteenth birthday, admitting that I almost asked for a Mustang like the car that she had but that I knew I'd sound crazy for sure. I tell her about how Alice feels bad for outliving her and that she's having an especially hard time today because of it. I tell her about Alice and Jasper secretly dating because Emmett would throw a fucking shit-fit if he found out that his best friend was going out with his sister. I tell the story about Peter, the friend that Alice had tried to date before Emmett turned him onto Charlotte instead; Alice was pretty pissed about that. I actually laugh out loud at the memory. Emmett was so proud of himself for keeping his family and friends in two separate categories.

I sit silently for a moment, pondering my feelings for Bella.

"I don't know what to do, Tanya," I admit quietly, running my fingers through my tangled hair. "I really do like her. She reminds me of you, at least with her fucked up past. And I know she fucks around with shit like liquor—but honestly, what teenager doesn't these days—and probably drugs too. I want to ask her not to… I really don't want anything to happen to her. I mean, I know I tried to help you but…"

I sigh heavily, my eyes fucking tearing up at the memory.

"I don't want to scare her away, to force her to be what I want her to be," I whisper sadly. "I do like the way she is but the fucking drinking…I know that's not really her. And the drugs?"

I laugh humorlessly as I answer my own question.

"I fucking swear, I saw her go to La Push yesterday and I know all the fuckers there do that shit. Hell, anytime you need anything, you go to the reservation. I just hope that… I don't know…"

I trail off, my one sided conversation not easing my feelings the way it normally does. I don't know what else to say so I stand up, brushing my fingers along the top of the stone one more time.

"We all miss you, Tanya," I say quietly. "I'm sorry you had to go so soon. I'm sorry you weren't strong enough to fight. And I really wish you were here to help me with Bella—to help Bella in seeing herself for the wonderful girl she is. I know you two would get along. Maybe she could have helped you get away from that jerk of a boyfriend of yours… I mean, she got away from her step-dad…"

I sigh again, kissing my fingertips and touching the marble once more before shoving my hands in my pockets and going back to the Volvo, my face streaked with tears.

* * *

><p>Back at the house, Alice is awake and curled up on the couch with a cooking competition show on TV. I settle in next to her and drape my arm around her shoulder. Just like with Esme, we don't feel the need to talk about the day. I'm a bit worried, though, so I glance down at my sister.<p>

Her face is blank of any emotion but her eyes are still red-rimmed. Though her eyes are trained on the show, she's not focused on it. I understand completely.

"How was your talk?" Alice asks in a whisper.

"About the same," I shrug, trying to keep my voice even. "I was thinking of stopping by the school at lunch."

"Thinking of staying?' she asks, still not looking at me. When I shrug again, she nods. "I'll be here when you get back."

We hang out until lunch starts at school. I feel almost excited to see Bella but, again, I wonder about my emotions for the day.

I bring a peace offering in case I don't stick around for the rest of the day and it seems to appease Bella but I can see the questions burning behind her deep brown eyes. I barely register anything going on around me while we talk, until she tells me about her day with her friend. Without meaning to, I fucking snap at her, accusing her of shit I shouldn't and that I instantly feel bad about. I try to get away quickly before I do something I'll fucking regret and lose Bella forever.

"I gotta go," I interrupt her after I stamp out my cigarette.

"Wait, what?" she says, jumping off the bed of her truck as I start to walk away. "Where the fuck are you going? Aren't you going to class?"

"Not today," I tell her, averting my eyes so that I don't fucking cry; the corner of my eyes are prickling, threatening to break me. Fuck, I feel like a fucking chick right now…

"Edward what's going on?" she demands, craning her neck to catch my eye. I give in and look to her, keeping my face as emotionless as possible.

She looks so sad, so concerned, that I feel my resolve start to waver. God, I wish I could stay with her today. I let out a long breath and place my hand on the side of her neck, desperate to feel that shocking tingling feel that I get whenever our skin meets.

_Fucking hell, this girl so fucking owns me._

"Today is just an off day for me," I say quietly.

"Can't you tell me about it? I thought we were… friends," she says in soft voice, barely getting out that last word.

"A different day, I promise, angel," I tell her genuinely, sounding more like myself. I do my best to give her that crooked smile of mine but it almost hurts to try.

"Can I ask you something?" she asks hesitantly and I nod, eager to give her whatever I can. "Why is Alice mad at me?"

My smile falls and I frown, wishing I could give her this. She pulls her lower lip in between her teeth, chewing on it nervously.

_Holy shit, that fucking lip…_

"Same reason why I have to leave today," I tell her, feeling my voice shake. Fuck, I just want to take her in my arms and tell her everything, to put it all out there, but I won't burden her that way.

Before I can reveal anything else, I stride back to my car, not looking back, and race out of the parking lot, breathing heavily the whole way.

I barely make it in the fucking door; I rush past Alice, who twists around on the couch to watch me flee up the stairs, looking confused as shit. I ignore her calling my name and throw myself into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me and turning on the shower.

I rip off my shirt and throw it on the floor before collapsing on the floor with my head in my hands as I fucking sob my heart out.

There's a soft knock on the door; Alice peaks her head in, her face creased with worry.

"Edward?" she whispers, letting herself in and kneeling on the floor. She wraps her tiny arms around me, squeezing me tightly.

"I couldn't fucking do it, Ali," I choke out, rubbing my hands over my face and lacing my fingers into my hair; I tug until my scalp burns in pain. "I tried, I really fucking tried. I didn't want to break down today and then I…"

I stop abruptly, not wanting to divulge in Bella's past without her consent. But Alice, being Alice, my weirdly intuitive twin, picks up on something.

"And then you what, Edward?" she asks firmly. "What happened when you went to school? Did you hang out with Bella?"

She sounds angry and I don't want her to. I know she can see that Bella is doing something to me, that there's something about her that draws me to her, and that she's scared shitless about what exactly that will entail. I want to ease her mind somewhat so that she'll accept Bella enough to at least try to get to know her.

"Yeah, I did, I couldn't help myself," I admit, looking up at her anxiously. "I really like her, Ali. She's a good friend, a good person."

"There's something off about her," Alice growls, her back stiffening and her eyes staring at a spot over my shoulder. "I just can't quite put a fucking finger on it."

"She's got some demons but really, who fucking doesn't. Just please Ali—" Alice's eyes dart to mine as I plead with her. "Just give her a chance—for me."

Her shoulders sag as she relents, nodding and then resting her head on my shoulder. We sit together, the steam of the shower filling the room as we let our tears run freely.

Once I feel more like me, Alice gives me one last squeeze and leaves me to shower. I stand directly under the stream, feeling emotionally drained. I don't normally break down like that, mainly because I don't want Alice to see that side of me. I had managed to hold it in the past two days but hearing Bella's past followed quickly by her current activities…

Yeah, I just couldn't fucking do it.

The rest of the afternoon is uneventful and melts into a quiet evening. Carlisle actually comes home at a fucking decent hour and Alice throws herself into his arms when he walks in the door. He apologizes for not being home for us on a day he knew would be rough but doesn't say anything more than that. When Emmett comes home after football practice, we order Chinese food just in time for Esme to come home and then sit around like a happy ass family, watching old sitcoms from the sixties while we eat and talk.

When I go to bed, I actually feel almost…okay.

* * *

><p>Friday morning dawns bright and cold with flat, white clouds filling the sky; Alice's mood reflects it—she's frigid and distant as she gets ready for the day, even flipping off Emmett when he tries to joke around with her. She stalks out the front door without explanation; Emmett turns to me in confusion.<p>

"What's her fucking problem?" he grumbles as we watch Alice stomp down the street.

"Well… yesterday was a hard day for her," I tell him as we grab our backpacks and walk out to the Volvo. "We're officially older than Tanya now."

"Oh, shit, I didn't think about that," he says with a frown.

I was sure that wasn't the only reason but until I can talk to Alice, that's all I can give him.

I pull out of the driveway, automatically looking for Bella; her truck is already gone. I realize that I never did hear from her the night before—not that I really expected to. She was probably fucking pissed with me after my attitude the day before and I didn't blame her. Maybe I'd get lucky and get a chance to make it up to her somehow.

Glancing down the street to check for cars, I see Alice hugging Jasper at the corner, his car idling at the curb.

_Fuck fuck, shit shit, mother fucking…_

"Hey, Em, did you grab your Muscle Milk drink on the way out? I thought I saw it on the counter," I invent wildly, hoping to distract him from the sight on the corner.

I watch Alice out of the corner of my eye as Emmett digs in his backpack, swearing under his breath. I let out a deep breath after Alice gets in the car with Jasper and they disappear.

"Yeah, I got it—hey, do you think Alice is dating someone?" Emmett asks, sitting back and clutching his bottle of supplement mix.

"Huh?" I ask stupidly, internally screaming at myself.

_Watch it, fucker, don't let him see you squirm._

"Just curious, I guess. I mean, she may dress like a fucking emo pixie but she's pretty and spunky," he shrugs, absentmindedly shaking his bottle. "And Jasper—he's a cool guy. What's going on with him?"

_Fucking hell! Since when was Emmett so nosy?_

"Oh, I dunno," I mumble, hoping to distract him with my next comment. "Why, do you want to play fucking cupid and get the two together?"

"Ha! Fuck no!" Emmett crows and shakes his head. "I am _not_ having another Peter incident here."

Thankfully, we reach the school and Emmett bounds out of the car before I even come to a full stop next to Rosalie's car. He instantly wraps his girlfriend into a tight embrace, kissing her full on the mouth, looking fucking disgusting as he practically slobbers all over her. I roll my eyes and turn off the car, stepping out and searching for Bella.

She's sitting in her truck, chewing lightly on her thumbnail with her ear buds in her ears as she reads a textbook that she has propped up on the steering wheel. I walk over to her, attempting to breathe evenly to keep myself calm and fucking cool.

I pull on the handle, wanting to act like my usual pushy self, but I find it locked. I tap on the window and she starts. When she notices that it's just me, she pulls out an ear bud and reaches over, yanking up the stiff lock.

"Hey," I say breathlessly as I climb onto the seat, closing the door quickly behind me to keep in the heat.

_Holy fuck, the inside of the truck is so warm and smells fucking delicious._

"Hey, what's up?" she says distractedly, her eyes back on her book.

"Not much. Whatcha reading?" I ask, leaning over to look.

"Fucking algebra," she grumbles, turning the page angrily. "I have a test today and I know I'm going to fucking fail."

"Shit, you should have told me, I could have helped you study," I tell her with a frown.

"No you couldn't have," she says bluntly.

"What?" I ask blankly, my voice laced with sadness.

Bella looks up at me in alarm, her big brown eyes wide and remorseful. I'm not sure how my face looks—probably stunned and a little hurt because even after yesterday, I still wasn't fucking expecting that.

"You said yesterday was a bad day for you," she says softly.

"Oh, right," I say, looking down. Suddenly, I feel her hand on my arm, the tingling feeling instantly calming my nerves. I look up at her gratefully.

"It's okay," she says with a small smile. "Next time?"

"Definitely next time, angel," I promise, giving an authentic smile.

I try to give Bella a few pointers before we go off to class but she still looks frantic. I assure her that she'll do fine and agree to hang out at lunch.

Those plans go to shit when I get to fourth period and find out I missed a test. The fucking teacher won't let me go to the library and make it up, instead insisting that I stay during lunch. I flip her off when she isn't looking and then discreetly pulled out my phone to complain to Bella.

_Hey, angel. My bitch of a history teacher wants me to make up a test during lunch. I'll try to rush it so we can hang out but knowing her it'll be all fucking essay questions. I'm sorry._

Ten minutes before the bell rings, I get a text back.

_That's okay, just don't bomb it. At least one of us needs to pass a fucking test today. I'll see you in Bio? _

I assure her that I'll at least see her then and then sulk until class is over.

Like I figured, the test is all fucking essay questions, requiring at least two paragraphs per question. I growl in frustration and start scratching out answers, swearing after each one. I look at the clock every time I move on and I fucking swear it's moving as slow as a fucking snail. I huff angrily and continue with the test.

I'm still not finished when the bell rings and I try to get up to leave but the bitch tells me she'll write me a note for my next class; she wants to grade all the tests after school so I have to finish.

_Holy fucking shit, this bitch is fucking crazy!_

Fifteen minutes into Biology, I'm finally done. I slap the test down on the front desk and snatch up my pass to Bio. I jog all the way there and shove my pass at Mr. Banner, trying to catch my breath. The class is fucking loud as hell and when I look around I see that everyone is working in pairs. I crane my neck, trying to look for Bella to see if she's already partnered.

"As you can see, Mr. Cullen, everyone is already paired up," Mr. Banner unnecessarily points out. "Seeing as there's no one left—ah, Mr. Newton. Nice of you to show up!"

"Sorry, Mr. Banner," Mike says from behind me and I resist the urge to spin around and smack him so that he gets sent to the nurse because I know Mr. Banner is going to say—

"Just don't let it happen again. Now take a seat with your partner for the day: Mr. Cullen."

_You've got to be fucking shitting me…_

I shoot Mike a fucking death glare as he tries to smile at me; he gets the point and looks away, sitting down at the only empty table at the front of the room. I slam my bag down next to him and glance over my shoulder at Bella. She's working with that quiet girl, Angela, and she gives me a sympathetic look. I sigh and notice her look down for a second before flitting her eyes back up to me. I frown in bewilderment until I feel my phone buzz in my pocket.

_Bad fucking luck today._

I snort and type out a response, ignoring Mike's impatient glances.

_That's the fucking understatement of the year. _

I look over at Bella; she shrugs, giving me a sad smile, and returns to her work with Angela.

Mike actually minds his fucking manners and doesn't try to get all friendly with me, though he does share with me all proudly that he was late because he was feeling up that slut, Jessica. I smirk and shake my head; those two idiots are fucking perfect for each other.

The day can't fucking end fast enough. Last period drags and when the final bell rings, I practically sprint out to the parking lot to wait for Bella. The weather is still mild so I take off my sweatshirt and fling it into the Volvo. I lean against the trunk and grin when I see her trudging across the parking lot. My smile grows when she looks up and sees me, her face lighting up.

"Hey, angel," I say easily when she reaches me. "How did your test go?"

"Ugh, I don't even want to fucking know," she groans, leaning against the car next to me. I cross my arms over my chest, looking down at her in amusement. "What about you? It took you forever to get to Bio. You weren't avoiding me, were you?"

"Ha! No, it was all essay questions for my test," I say, shaking my head. "And she wouldn't let me finish it later."

"Bummer," she says with a laugh.

I'm about to ask her if she wants to hang out tonight but suddenly, Alice comes rushing up to us. Bella stiffens next to me, putting herself on guard. Alice skids to a stop in front of us, attempting to give her a polite smile.

"Hey, Bella," Alice says, a little awkwardly but not unkindly; at least she's trying. "Sorry, but I really need my brother."

"Oh, right," Bella says uneasily, her expression downcast. "Text me later?"

I nod as she smiles sadly and walks back to her truck, glancing back at us over her shoulder. I sigh impatiently and look to my sister.

"What the fuck do you want, Ali?" I snarl, angry that I haven't gotten more than a few minutes with Bella all day.

"I'm sorry, brother twin, but it's an emergency," she pleads, sticking out her lower lip. I know when she calls me brother twin like that that she's serious.

"Alright, sister twin, what is it?" I sigh, watching forlornly as Bella's truck chugs out of the parking lot.

"I want to go to Lauren's party with Jasper tonight," she blurts out.

"Wait, what party?"

"Lauren is having a party tonight," she says slowly, as though I'm stupid; I frown at her and she rolls her eyes at me. "Look, I really want to go out with Jasper tonight. I needed him yesterday but obviously, he had to go to school and we both really want to go tonight but we're worried that Emmett will get suspicious if I go alone and that he'll cause a shit-storm so—"

"Fuck, Ali! Slow down and get to the point!" I say, grabbing her shoulders and giving her a small shake.

"Will you please please take me to the party?" she pleads, folding her hands in front of her and sticking out her lower lip again.

"Ah, Ali, you know I can't stand Lauren," I whine, dropping my hands. "And how do you know that Emmett won't be there?"

"I already heard Rosalie ripping him a new asshole, telling him there's no way she'll go to that bitch's house. I mean, I can't really stand her either but whatever—I gotta see Jasper tonight." She holds her folded hands up higher and bounces up and down on her toes. "Please please please please please—"

"Holy shit! If I say yes will you shut up?" She nods happily, grinning broadly. I groan loudly and she squeals, throwing her arms around my neck.

"Thank you so so much, brother twin!" she yells in my ear as I grudgingly hug her back. "I totally owe you one!"

"Fuck yeah, you do," I joke; Alice pulls back and rolls her eyes.

The two of us climb into the Volvo and I start the engine, looking around impatiently for Emmett. My phone buzzes; I pull it out to see a text from him, just now telling me that he's getting a ride with Rosalie.

_Gee, thanks asshole._

Alice is already on her phone, talking a mile a minute—I have no fucking clue how Jasper can stand that shit—so I ignore her as I drive towards home. About halfway there, Alice's conversation catches my attention.

"Oh, hold on, Jazzy, got another call." She pulls the phone away from her ear and presses a button. After a few quick responses, she switches back over to Jasper but holds the receiver away from her mouth. "Mom needs us to drop by the store for her—oh and the drycleaners."

"Great," I mumble unenthusiastically, making a U-turn and heading back into town.

I had really hoped I'd get to hang out with Bella this afternoon. I wonder if she's going to Lauren's party—until I remember that she had turned down Mike multiple times so I sincerely doubt it. I sigh heavily at the thought of having to suffer through the party alone tonight.

The grocery store and the drycleaners takes fucking forever—Alice had a long-ass list for the store and the shitty drycleaners couldn't find Esme's best suit—so it's dark by the time we get home. Bella's truck is still sitting in front of her house and I pull out my phone to text her after I put away the groceries, but then Esme asks me to help make dinner.

After dinner, I make Alice ask permission to go to the party. Esme agrees, as long as we're home by one. She asks if there's going to be any drinking involved and because Alice is a shitty liar, Esme knows there will be. She gives us both a lecture about knowing our limits and insists that at least one of us doesn't have more than one drink. We both assure her that we'll be good and then go up to our room to change for the party.

I look out my window towards the tree-house, but there's no light. I turn to Bella's driveway and I'm surprised to see Bella's truck is missing. Maybe she went out to dinner with Charlie? I dress distractedly, putting my dark v-neck t-shirt on backwards; when I try to fix it, I try to put my head in the wrong hole. Alice takes pity on me, noticing my inattention, and even finds me my good dark jacket to wear.

I consider texting Bella, figuring Alice will take longer to get ready, but she's already tugging at my arm, complaining that there party is already started. I groan and let her pull me out the door.

It's not even nine and the party at Lauren's fucking mansion of a house is already in full swing. Loud rap music is blasting, shaking the windows. People are milling around the front yard and into the brightly lit house, yelling out to each other, some of them already well on their way to getting shit faced. Alice pulls me by the hand into the house, positively bouncing.

_Well, at least one of us is fucking happy._

I follow my little black ballerina sister, the red bow on top of her neatly parted hair barely visible over everyone else. The living room is packed with people swaying to the music; we head straight to the kitchen where Alice scoops up a couple of bottles of beer and holds them out. I roll my eyes and grab one, popping off the lid with my lighter; I trade it for the unopened beer as she blows me a kiss and skip away.

I lean against the counter, scanning the crowds for a familiar chestnut head of hair with the purple peaking out. I see Jessica rubbing up on Mike, both of them clutching red plastic cups full of sloshing liquid. In the corner, that sweet girl, Angela, is getting cozy in the corner with a guy I'm pretty sure is named Ben. I watch jealously as he whispers in her ear, making her giggle.

I'm taking a swig of my beer when Lauren appears in front of me, a tall shot glass of clear liquor in one hand and a lemon slice in the other.

"Care for a shot?" she asks over the music, tilting her head to the side. Her neck is glistening with moisture and I can see a sprinkling of salt covering the area.

I sigh deeply, not really wanting to take a body shot off of her but needing the drink. I set aside the beer and take the glass, downing it quickly before licking her neck and taking the lemon she's offering. I suck on it greedily, trying to get the taste of her fucking body lotion out of my mouth and she leans in, trying to snag it with her teeth. I turn my head away, tossing the slice into the sink and pick up my beer again.

"Should I get you another?" she asks, pushing her chest out at me. I can clearly see her bright pink bra beneath her thin white shirt.

"Maybe later," I say with a smirk.

"I'll hold you to that," she says with a wink; she saunters away, peeking back at me slyly.

I hold the smile on my face until she leaves and then take a huge gulp of my drink. God, if that chick wasn't the fucking hostess of the party, I'd be nowhere near that.

I'm already getting a headache standing so close to the speakers to I head to the backyard where a group of drunken idiots are trying to play Beer Pong on an old folding table. I have no fucking idea how they're so damn drunk—they suck at the game. I watch in mild amusement for a while and then head inside for another beer.

The party inside is getting rowdier, the music getting louder but thank fuck they finally put on something other than that rap shit. Ironically, the song explains my day.

The lead singer of My Chemical Romance is screaming the lyrics, exactly the way I feel inside. I lean my head back against the fridge, listening to the lyrics:

_Well if you wanted honesty_

_That's all you had to say_

_I never want to let you down or have you go_

_It's better off this way_

_For all the dirty looks_

_The photographs your boyfriend took_

_Remember when you broke your foot_

_From jumping out the second floor?_

_I'm not okay_

_I'm not okay_

_I'm not okay_

_You wear me out…_

And then I see it—long, brown hair swaying among the closely packed bodies in the living room. I take a step forward, watching the slender hand holding a drink high in the air over the dancers. Eagerly, I move towards the living room, the music blasting as I watch in a daze as Bella navigates her way towards the stairs.

_What will it take to show you_

_That it's not the life it seems?_

_I've told you time and time again_

_You sing the words_

_But don't know what it means…_

I'm nearly to the staircase when a large body blocks me. I look up in annoyance at the smirking face of Jacob Black. The lyrics of the song mock me again:

_To be a joke and look_

_Another line without a hook_

_I hold you close as we both shook_

_For the last time_

_Take a good hard look…_

"What are you doing here, Black?" I shout over the booming base.

"Lauren invited me and the boys," he sneers; I follow his gaze over my shoulder at the group of Quileute boys out in the group of dancers, their dark skin and bulky stature easy to spot. I roll my eyes at them and turn back to Jacob.

"Great," I say indifferently, trying to push past him to the stairs. He puts his hand on my chest, shoving me back; I snarl at him, "Get out of my way, Black."

"Why so hostile, Cullen?" he grins; I narrow my eyes at him. "I just wanted to ask you if you wanted a little something tonight. You seem a little tense, you could probably use it."

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small orange bottle of pills. I laugh humorlessly and shake my head, thrusting the pills back at him.

"Not my thing, now get the fuck out of my way," I demand and he steps to the side, holding his hands up in mock surrender, his body shaking with laughter.

I reign in my anger at the asshole and place my foot on the stairs. Suddenly, someone comes barreling towards me. I automatically hold my hands out to catch the body, that turns out to be Alice.

"Whoops!" she giggles stupidly, clutching onto my arms. "Hey, brother twin!"

"Fuck, Alice, how much did you have to drink?" I ask, pulling her upright.

"Sorry, dude, Lauren slipped her some shots." Jasper comes jogging down the stairs behind us, looking annoyed but totally sober.

"Oh, you know it was hot, baby," Alice purrs, putting her arms around Jasper's neck. "I could tell you loved the way I licked the salt off of her neck."

Alice sticks her tongue out, running it up the side of Jasper's neck before biting gently; she hitches her leg up around his hip, grinding against him. I grimace, really not wanting to see my sister so fucking horny like this. Jasper gives me an apologetic look and pushes her foot back to the floor.

"C'mon, hot stuff," Jasper says, leading her towards the door but she reaches out, grabbing the front of my shirt.

"No, twin! Mom said I could be out until one!" she whines, dragging me with them. When we reach the door, she stumbles, tripping Jasper and bringing me down with them. We land in a heap, both of them pinning me to the floor and Alice laughing wildly again.

"Fucking hell, Alice!" I grumble, as a familiar scent wafts over me; I twist around from under my sister and I see her.

Bella is stumbling down the hall, towards the basement door, looking fucking hot as hell in a tight plaid button up shirt with the sleeves pushed up and a pair of black skinny jeans. I'm mesmerized by the way her long hair is flowing down her back, swinging slightly with her unsteady gait. I'm so distracted that I almost miss who's following her. I watch in horror as fucking Jacob trails behind her, his hand on her lower back. My eyes widen as he notices me on the floor and winks.

"Fuck, I'm sorry, Edward, I'll get her out of here," Jasper apologizes. "I leave her alone for fucking five minutes while I take a piss and she gets fucking smashed."

"It's okay, Jazz," I tell him, helping him gather Alice up off of the floor. "Try to sober her up a bit before you take her home though."

Jasper nods at me and throws Alice over his shoulder. She giggles shrilly, grabbing his ass in both hands. He smacks her own, making her squeal and let go. I make sure they make it out to his car and then sprint towards the basement door.

I yank open the door and I'm instantly assaulted by the overwhelming smell of pot—not the good shit but the kind that smells like dirt. The light in the room is dim so I cautiously feel my way down the stairs. At the bottom, I squint through the darkness and growl at the sight before me.

The room is filled with random couples draped over the chairs and couches, a few even on the floor. They're all making out and smoking, some random techno shit playing in the corner. My eyes roam the room until I spot Bella. My face burns in anger, the beer and liquor in my stomach churning uncomfortably at what I'm seeing.

Bella is straddling Jacob Black, her long dark hair spilling out over his face as she grinds her body against his. His fucking meaty hands are groping at her slender waist, his thick fingers shoving their way under the waistband of her jeans. She whips her hair over to one side, revealing her face and his to me. She's fucking plastered, her eyes hooded and unfocused while his are alert and greedy. He licks his lips and then grabs her neck to bring it closer to his mouth so he can bite her roughly.

_That's fucking it._

I tear across the room, wrapping my arms around her middle and lifting her off of him. She gasps in surprise as I set her down behind me. I turn around to find myself face to face with Jacob, his eyes burning into mine.

"What the fuck, man?" he spits in my face, putting his fucking hands on my chest again and forcing me back. I feel my back collide with Bella who yelps as I step on her foot. "My friend and I were kind of busy there."

And then I put it together.

I turn around in shock to find Bella staring at me in bewilderment, her arms wrapped around her tiny waist as she sways slightly on the spot. I glance down and see her jeans unbuttoned and then look back up at her curious face.

"What's wrong, Edward?" she slurs, obviously confused by my anger.

"Bella, is this the friend you were telling me about?" I say lowly so that only she can hear. I hear Jacob huff behind me and ignore him.

Bella nods timidly, awareness suddenly coming back to her.

"Oh, God," she groans, running her hand over her face. "I'm so fucking… I didn't even… Jacob, I told you no the other day."

She stumbles sideways and I reach out and catch her. I look back at Jacob who's standing there uncomfortably, trying to act tough but he can tell he's not winning this fucking fight with either of us.

"Bella, you know you want to, you were the one that started this shit," he wheedles but recoils slightly under my glare. "What's your fucking problem, Cullen?"

"She told you no, both when she was fucking sober and again tonight," I snarl under my breath. "Now back the fuck off before I tell your daddy about your little pharmacy business."

Jacob grimaces but knows he's fucking beat. The last time he came to one of Lauren's party, the two of us got into it when he tried to force his drugs on Alice and he nearly got caught when the fucking cops showed up.

As though my mere thoughts made them come, we hear sirens blare outside. The three of us look up at the ceiling as the couples around us abruptly stop their activities, sounding like fucking plungers being pulled from a shower drain.

"Aw, shit," Jacob mumbles, sprinting for the stairs.

The others around us scramble for the door, blocking Bella and I from making an escape. I look around the room frantically and spot a narrow window near the ceiling.

"Let's go, angel," I tell her, buttoning her pants for her and dragging her to the window. She follows me drunkenly, nearly tripping over her own feet. I shove a chair under the window, step up and push open the cool glass. Sticking my head out, I see that we're on the side of the house; there's a clear path leading to my car halfway down the street, the police cruisers all directly in front of the driveway.

I reach my hand out and Bella takes it, looking back over her shoulder as we hear the music silenced as the cops yell out instructions.

"Shit, I hear my dad up there," she gasps, scrambling up onto the chair. I lift her up and help her out the window, hoisting myself up after her.

The yard is full of running, screaming teenagers. A few cops stand in the middle of the lawn, giving sobriety tests to the ones that couldn't make it to their cars. I wrap my arm around Bella's waist and we rush to my car, throwing ourselves in and peeling out before the cops even notice us fleeing.

"Fuck, what a rush!" Bella shouts with a laugh. I look at her with a raised eyebrow and she just laughs harder. "Oh, calm the fuck down, I didn't mean the fucking drugs—I didn't take any."

"And what about Jacob?" I smirk, clenching the steering wheel tightly.

"Shit I didn't even realize that was him," she slurs, running her hand through her hair. "I'm so fucking gone… and horny."

My foot slips on the brake pedal, making us jerk against the seats. Bella giggles—she fucking giggles, sounding nothing like herself.

"Shit, how much did you have to drink?" I ask, pressing on the gas carefully.

"Not that fucking much, really, but Lauren was doing body shots—"

"She fucking got you to do them too?" I practically shout, throwing my hands up. "Holy fucking shit, who _didn't_ do body shots with that whore tonight?"

"Why, did you? That's some hot shit," Bella purrs, running her finger down my neck, making me shiver. When I look at her in shock, she smiles slyly. "I told you I was fucking horny."

_Fucking shit, this woman is going to be the death of me._

"Bella, you're drunk," I tell her sternly as we pull up to my house. "Let's just get you home and—"

"No, I can't fucking go home," she says, shaking her head side to side, making her hair tangle around her face. She pushes it back lazily. "Charlie will fucking know I'm shit-faced."

"Well, then what the fuck do you want to do?" I ask in frustration, turning off the car and gripping my keys tightly.

"Mmmm tree-house," she mumbles with a sleepy smile.

Before I can stop her, she's out the door and stumbling across the lawn, making a zig zag line towards the back of her house. I hesitate and then follow her, catching up quickly and stopping her before she fucking plows into the side of her house.

She makes her way unsteadily up the wooden ladder while I hold my hands out cautiously in case she falls.

_Fuck, she has a nice fucking ass…_

I shake my head and follow her into the small house. She collapses onto the floor, closing her eyes and breathing deeply, a serene smile on her face. I sit down next to her and her eyes snap open, sluggishly focusing on me. She sits up surprisingly fast for someone who probably drank half her weight in alcohol and straddles my lap.

"Edward, can I ask you something?" she mumbles, placing her hands on my shoulders.

"S-sure," I stutter, well aware of the heat from between her legs. I swallow nervously and put my hands gingerly on her waist.

"You're, like, my best friend, right?' she asks, tilting her head to the side. I can't help but reach out and run my fingers through the purple streak in her hair, smiling as she hums contentedly.

"I'd like to think so, angel," I murmur, stifling a gasp as she readjusts herself against my obvious hardness beneath her.

"So, I can trust you, right?" she asks, leaning forward slightly and biting her lip. When I nod stupidly, she releases her lip and grins. "Good, because I'd really like to try something with you…"

Her face is so close that I can smell her breath, a mixture of sweetness and liquor. Her hair swirls around her shoulders, brushing against my face as she gazes at me with half-closed lids.

_Shit, is she fucking serious? _

"What do you mean, angel?" I whisper, trying not to groan as she rubs her lower body against me again.

"Fuck, Edward… I don't wanna do this shit with Jacob," she says huskily. "But I'm more than happy to do it with you."

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah, I know, leaving it on a bit of a cliffie there. But if this outpouring of writing keeps up, who knows! Might get the next chapter real soon!<strong>

**Truth: I've never actually gotten drunk. Ever. I can count on basically one hand how many times I've actually had a full drink and I know how old I was each time. It just never really appealed to me, I guess. Plus, I never had like drinking buddies and the kids at my high school never had wild parties… as far as I know. I was a band geek in high school. Maybe there were parties and I just wasn't cool enough for them! Dang…**

**Question: Ever been to any wild parties? When was the first time you drank and how do you feel about it? Wow, I feel like a shrink… Just tell me your experience(s) and review this long-ass chapter!**


	7. Chapter 7: Do You Wanna Touch Me?

**Please don't hate me for not updating last week. My computer lost internet and it was just screwing up in general and then we went camping so no writing got done. BUT I hope this chapter at least sort of makes up for it. Hey, at least I updated twice in one week the last time! And this time I'm delivering a bit of smut…**

**Disclaimer: I own some Joan Jett songs, countless hoodies that I never wear and my love for the TwiUniverse. But I do not own the orginals, I just enjoy messing with them.**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 7: Do You Wanna Touch Me?<span>

"Edward, can I ask you something?" I mumble, putting my hands on his shoulders.

Shit, I can't believe I'm actually sitting on him like this, my legs wrapped tightly around his thighs. I really fucking hope I'm not out of line here. I know friends don't normally sit like this, but... God, I just can't help it. I'm drunk and horny.

"S-sure," he says shakily and judging by the way he swallows so loudly, he's just as nervous as I am. But obviously I've had more to fucking drink than him and like usual, the liquor is making me braver. I at least take it as a good sign when he puts his hands on my waist.

"You're, like, my best friend, right?' I ask, tilting my head to the side, my hair sliding over my shoulder. He reaches forward and plays with the purple streak in my hair, making me basically fucking purr.

"I'd like to think so, angel," he says quietly.

I shift my body slightly, well aware of how fucking hard he is right now. Maybe he is enjoying this, at least a little bit. He gasps so quietly at the movement that I almost miss it.

"So, I can trust you, right?" I ask, leaning forward slightly and biting my lip nervously. I can feel the drunkenness fading and I want to get this out before I lose my fucking nerve. He gives a small nod and I can't help but grin. "Good, because I'd really like to try something with you…"

I'm so close that I can smell the warm honey scent that is Edward. My hair tickles his face and I know he can smell how much I've had to drink but he doesn't back away.

_Fuck, please don't let him back away._

"What do you mean, angel?" he whispers. I move against him again, practically grinding against him already, my body controlling my mind, moving to try to get what it wants.

"Fuck, Edward… I don't wanna do this shit with Jacob," I say gruffly, desperate for him to understand. "But I'm more than happy to do it with you."

He doesn't say anything for a few moments and I'm scared shitless that he's just going to laugh at me and push me away, saying that I'm just fucking drunk.

"Bella, I..." he starts and I feel his fingers dig into my hips. "I don't know about this..."

"Why not?" I mutter, wrapping my arms around his neck and leaning a little closer.

"Because, you're... you're drunk and... and, um... I just..." he stutters, shaking his head a little. I grimace at his words.

"So fucking what?" I demand, trying not to get angry. "We've both been drinking and you just said we're friends and that I can fucking trust you..."

I trail off, my breathing picking up as I get even more nervous. I can see his chest heaving in front of me and his eyes dart up to mine, the deep green confused and contemplating, but also dark and full of want.

"But, Bella..." he starts again and I just fucking go for it.

"Don't you want to?" I ask bluntly, my hands gripping the back of his neck.

_Fucking hell, his hair is so fucking soft._

"Fuck, Bella, I... I really do, I mean you're fucking beautiful and all, but..." he whispers quickly, his eyes looking everywhere but at me.

"But what?" I say quietly, moving my gaze to catch his. "We both want to... I think we should at least try."

"W-what did you... um, what did you have in mind?" he whispers shakily. I give a small smile, smelling victory.

"Do you trust me?" I ask, my nose nearly touching his as I lean even closer. He gives one short nod; my smile grows. "Then just follow my lead."

Without hesitation, I press my lips to his. That sparking feeling goes crazy, making me feel like my whole fucking body is on fire, the heat starting at our connected mouths and travelling down my limbs. I feel him shudder slightly against me as I snake my tongue out, trailing it along his bottom lip. His own tongue reaches out tentatively to tangle with mine, and the moment they touch, he finally reacts.

His arms wrap around my waist, pulling me closer to him. I try not to smile at his sudden enthusiasm and instead place my hands on his chest, pushing him down gently so that I'm now lying flush with his body. My legs are still straddling him, my hips pressing down hard.

My body reacts to the feeling of him between my legs, the heat intensifying almost unbearably, and I rub against him to try to relieve it. We're both breathing so heavily that I can barely hear the rain that has started coming down against the roof of the tree-house.

His hands slide up to rest against my face, pulling me back gently.

"Can I ask just one thing?" he asks breathlessly. I nod timidly, hardly able to breath evenly enough to answer him. "Can we just keep our clothes on?"

I grin widely and let out one last drunken giggle.

"I think I can work around that," I purr, raking my hands into his hair and kissing him again.

_Holy shit, his hair is like fucking silk. Just a guy's hair has never turned me on so damn much._

I can't help but keep moving against him, the tingling in my lower body growing, screaming to be satisfied. He groans loudly into my mouth, his hips bucking slightly against mine. He pulls back again, this time trying to catch his breath. He leans his head back, exposing his neck to me. I kiss and nibble down his neck, constantly grinding against him.

"Oh, fuck, Bella," he moans, gasping for air. "What the fuck are you trying to do to me?"

"Mmm just giving us both what we need," I mumble against his neck. He runs his hands down my back, stopping just above my ass. "Edward, you can touch, you know."

"Anything... anything off limits?" he gasps, his hands moving down another inch.

I stop moving and lean back, looking right at him. His deep green eyes are dark and hooded, the lust obvious in his heavy breathing. Shit, I can't fucking say no to him.

"I'll let you know," I whisper, crashing my mouth back down to his.

He kisses back without delay, his hands gripping my ass and pressing me closer. I gasp as he shoves me against his hardness but then groan as he hits just in the right spot. I keep moving slow and sure, the feeling low down building.

Slowly, we start moving against each other faster until we're moving almost frantically. Our breathing is so erratic that we almost can't keep kissing but neither of us seems to want to break the connection, even to breathe. I groan loudly as I feel it coming, the release, the reason I needed this in the first place, but only with him...

And then it hits.

I slow down slightly, drawing out the most intense orgasm I've ever had with my clothes still on. The fire burns fucking hot and I feel my body shake with the force of the high. Edward slows down too, but keeps his hands on my ass, holding me down hard. He groans into my mouth as I whimper, the feeling peaking before subsiding.

_Fuck, if these clothes weren't on, I could have made that last..._

I collapse onto him, breathing deeply into the crook of his neck. He wraps his arms around me, holding me close as his chest rises and falls rapidly. The silence stretches as we both try to catch our breath, the rain louder now.

I start to worry that things are going to get fucking awkward already and I bite my lip nervously, trying to think of what to say so that this shit doesn't get fucked up already. Fuck, maybe I shouldn't have pushed him to do this, but I couldn't help it. There's just something about him...

"Well, I just thought I'd let you know..." Edward says slowly, making me tense. "You're the best fucking friend I've ever had."

"Oh, geez," I grumble, feeling my face grow hot. We both laugh hysterically, still wrapped up in each other. I can feel the drunkenness slipping away, making me sleepy.

"Now what?" he whispers, running a hand through my hair.

"I don't know, I'm fucking tired now," I yawn and he chuckles.

"Should I... you know, leave?" he suggests.

"Can you stay...just a little longer?" I ask quietly, my body tensing in anticipation of his rejection.

"Sure, angel," he says softly. "But I was wondering..."

"What's that?" I ask sleepily, relaxing into his body again.

"What are we now? Like, friends with benefits or some shit?"

"Have you ever..." I start to ask and trail off, remembering the last time I had such a friend.

"No, but Emmett has," he says with a chuckle.

"What's so funny? What happened with her?" I ask, yawning widely. Fuck, I could fall asleep in his arms right now...

"They weren't friends for long," he says with another quiet laugh; I can feel it vibrate through his chest. "That friend was Rosalie."  
>"Oh, shit!" I say with a laugh.<p>

"Yeah, they couldn't handle it for long," he says and then hesitates. "Have you... you know, have you ever..."

"Um, yeah, once," I tell him with a frown. "We ended up dating too but he was a fucking jackass."

"Oh, right," he says under his breath. He breathes in deeply and then asks, "So, do you wanna be..."

"Fuck buddies?" I ask, trying to break the tension. It works and he laughs loudly.

"That's a way of putting it," he chuckles. "Can you... can you handle it?"

"It's worth a try," I say with a shrug. Something doesn't feel quite right about it but I choose to ignore it. It's better than nothing, really. But I don't tell him that. "I mean, that was fucking amazing—and we didn't even have to take our clothes off."

"Very true," he nods. "Maybe we should just take things slow and see how it goes."

"Okay," I sigh sleepily, feeling my eyelids droop shut.

"Are you falling asleep?" he whispers into my hair.

"Just resting my eyes," I mumble, feeling his arms tighten around me.

The last thing I hear over the pounding rain before I drift off is Edward whispering into my ear.

"Goodnight, my angel..."

* * *

><p>I roll over and groan, feeling my head hit a soft pillow. But I distinctly remember falling asleep with Edward after we...<p>

I sit up quickly, making my already pounding head spin. I groan again and grab my head with both hands, squeezing my eyes shut. I think back to the night before... and the activities in the tree-house...

With Edward.

Shit.

God, I hope nothing else happened. All I remember is the best dry-humping experience of my life and then I passed out. I'm pretty sure I did, at least. I open my eyes cautiously, peering around the room. Nothing looks any different. There are no clothes on the floor, no condom wrappers...

Oh fuck, I know we agreed on being fuck buddies but did we go all the way already and I was too shit faced to remember? Shit, I fucking hope not. Just grinding had been fucking amazing.

My eyes fall on my bedside table. There's a tall glass of water, my phone and two Asprin. I lunge for the pills, throwing them back and gulping down the water. I had been so freaked out about what had—or had not—happened the night before that I hadn't realized how dry my mouth was.

I look back to my phone and see it's blinking. I pick it up and open it to see a text message from Edward.

Oh fuck.

What if he's pissed about the night before? I remember him worrying about the fact that I was drunk... but he was too. Kinda. Shit, maybe he felt like _I_ was taking advantage of _him. _Fuck, but would any guy say that? Maybe Edward would. Maybe he was texting me to tell me it had been a mistake, that I had fucked up our relationship—whatever kind we had. Maybe he was texting me to call me a fucking slut and to fuck off and—

_Geez, just read the fucking text..._

I take a deep breath and press read:

_Morning, angel. Sorry for leaving last night but curfew was one. Text me when you feel less shitty._

What the fuck? Is he fucking serious? Well, if he's not going to be fucking awkward and shit then neither will I.

I throw back my covers—almost shocked to see that I'm still fully clothed—and head to the shower. By the time I'm clean and dressed, I have a plan—sort of.

I sit down on the couch with a bowl of cereal and the TV remote. There's a note from Charlie on the coffee table, telling me that he went fishing and not to expect Edward by for the usual Saturday yard work.

Bullshit if I wasn't seeing Edward today.

I turn on the TV and after some surfing, I settle on the Food Network. I flip open my phone again and text Edward.

_Ugh. Please tell me you feel like shit too._

I send it and then momentarily panic. Will he think I mean I feel like shit about what happened? Fuck, I need to stop overthinking things. It's making my head hurt more.

I don't have to wait long for a reply.

_Well, I wasn't the one to pass out in the tree-house._

_You're fucking with me, right? I woke up in my bed..._

The second I send it I smack myself in the head. I need to get my fucking head out of the gutter because every word in that sounded so fucking dirty.

My phone buzzes again and I sigh heavily before reading it.

_Nope, you passed the fuck out. I carried you into your bed. Didn't want you to fuck up your back again. I hope that's okay..._

I cock my head to the side, wondering how the hell he got me in through my bedroom window without waking me up...or dropping me. I shake my head once and go back to my phone. I bite my lip, nervous about what I'm about to type.

_Yeah, thanks. So, what are you up to today?_

God, I don't even sound like myself. Only with him do I get this fucking nervous about asking something as stupid as what he's doing.

My phone alerts me to another message:

_Not a damn thing. Alice is trying to convince me to "take her shopping" which is code for "take me to see Jasper"._

"Wait, what?" I mumble out loud. "Alice... and Jasper?"

_Uh...what?_

_I'll explain when I come over..._

Well, that saved me the trouble of asking. I text him back and tell him to just walk in. I don't feel like dragging my ass off the couch to just open the door.

Not even five minutes later and I hear the front door open. My hands instantly start fucking shaking and sweating. Fucking shit, this shit is fucking ridiculous. I need to calm down and not let things get awkward.

"Hey, angel," Edward calls from behind me before plopping down next to me. He's not touching me but he's not out of reach. That's a good sign...

"What's up?" I ask in a slightly higher voice than usual. I sigh; so much for not showing my nerves.

"Nothing... what the hell are you watching?" he asks, pointing at the TV.

"It's called Chopped, it's a cooking competition show," I tell him, laughing at the look of disgust on his face.

"What the fuck are they cooking?" he grimaces. "And why the... do those kind of things even usually go together?"

"That's the point of the show—they're given 'Mystery Ingredients' and they have to prepare something for the judges using them," I say, snorting as he pulls another face when he sees the chefs trying to cut into a sea anemone.

"Okay, this shit is disgusting, let's go do something," he says, shaking his head and turning away from the TV.

"Like what?" I ask, setting down my empty bowl of cereal. The fucking butterflies are swarming in my stomach, wondering what he has planned.

"We could go to the movies," he shrugs. "And maybe get something to eat."

"Isn't that like a date thing?" I ask with a raised eyebrow, trying to gage his reaction. We didn't actually agree last night that we weren't going to date; I had just hoped that calling us Fuck Buddies would get that point across.

"But we're not dating," he points out, gesturing towards the stairs. "Get your shoes, I'll drive."

We both get up from the couch. I rush upstairs, my heart beating frantically. Fuck I need to calm down. I never got this way around Jacob after we screwed around.

Shit. We were about to do exactly what Jacob and I did together... A movie... and going out to eat... and every time Jacob and I did that, we ended up holding hands like a couple. And the last time we did that... we want back to his place and—

I growl in frustration, noticing that I just tied a knot instead of a bow in my shoelace. I stop, take a deep breath and try again. Once my shoes are on right, I grab my hoodie and jog down the stairs to where Edward is waiting for me.

It's fucking silent in Edward's shiny Volvo on our way to Port Angeles. I keep getting flashbacks of the last trip I took to Port Angeles—the easy conversation, the witty banter, the familiar music. I sit in my seat, biting my thumb nervously, and my unfocused eyes staring out the front windshield.

I suddenly feel a tingling as Edward's hand touches my ear... and then pinches it.

"Ow! What the fuck?" I cry, twisting in my seat to glare at him.

"What?" he says innocently, giving me a crooked smile. "Just trying to get your attention."

I narrow my eyes at him and then reach over and pinch his nipple, making him flinch.

"Shit! Ow!" he protests, rubbing his chest. "You wanna play like that, huh?"

I brace myself as he stretches his arm out but he goes straight to the stereo. He presses play and spins the dial to turn up the volume. The song starts with a heavy drumbeat before a familiar chick's voice starts singing:

_We've been here too long  
>Tryin' to get along<br>Pretendin' that you're oh so shy  
>I'm a natural ma'am<br>Doin' all I can  
>My temperature is runnin' high<em>

Cry at night  
>No one in sight<br>An' we got so much to share  
>Talking's fine<br>If you got the time  
>But I ain't got the time to spare<br>Yeah!

"Wait, this isn't—" I start to say but then the chorus starts and I stare at Edward with my mouth hanging open.

_Do you wanna touch (Yeah)  
>Do you wanna touch (Yeah)<br>Do you wanna touch me there, where  
>Do you wanna touch (Yeah)<br>Do you wanna touch (Yeah)  
>Do you wanna touch me there, where<br>There, yeah!_

"You're fucking kidding me!" I say as he laughs loudly. "Okay, one: You listen to Joan Jett? And two: Are you fucking kidding me?"

"One: Joan Jett is fucking badass and two," he turns to me with a smug look on his face. "You started it."

He winks, making my face blush slightly and my inner thighs clench. I roll my eyes and look away, trying to act annoyed. But when the chorus comes around again, he starts singing along at the top of his lungs, punching the air with every "Yeah!" in the song. I burst out laughing and join in, which makes him smile.

We listen to Joan Jett all the way to Port Angeles. When we get to the theatre, I feel my stomach fucking clench, the nerves trying to set in again. I take a deep breath and force them down as we walk up to where the showings are listed.

"What are you in the mood for?" he asks, shoving his hands in his jeans pocket and glancing up. "Romance?"

I punch him in the arm as he smirks at me.

"Shut up, jackass," I grumble. "You keep it up and I'll go back on our deal."

"Ouch," he says, frowning and putting his hand over his heart. I narrow my eyes at him and he smiles. "Alright, alright. How about that new action flick?"

"The one with the werewolf fucker that looks like he's on steroids?" I ask with a laugh. "Sure, let's do it—don't you dare!"

I point my finger threateningly at him when he opens his mouth to speak, obviously about to make my comment fucking dirty—there was no need to, my mind already did it.

He holds up his hands in mock surrender and leads us into the theatre.

We each pay for our own ticket, which makes this feel less like a date. While we're standing in line for popcorn, I remember what he said about Alice and Jasper.

"Oh, hey, so what were you saying about Alice and Jasper?" I ask, stepping forward as the line moves.

"Well, they're dating—secretly," he tells me with a wink and I raise my eyebrow in question. "Jasper and my brother, Emmett, are like best friends. A few years ago, Alice got a crush on a buddy of his named Peter. Emmett flipped out so nothing ever came of it but ever since then, he makes a big fucking deal about Alice wanting to date his friends, and vice versa."

Edward laughs and shakes his head.

"Why did he flip out?" I ask; we're next in line to get snacks.

"He said something about not wanting to know who's fucking his sister when he knows who the guy has fucked before," Edward explains. When I continue to look puzzled, he shrugs. "I know—that shit still doesn't make much sense to me."

Edward insists on buying the popcorn, stating he'll probably end up eating more anyway. In return, he lets me buy my own soda. We sit down in the theatre with seven minutes to spare.

"So about last night…" Edward starts, shoveling a handful of popcorn in his mouth.

"What about it?" I ask, trying to keep my shit but my face instantly reddens. I lean forward over my soda, taking a long sip.

"It was…nice," he says and I look up at him in surprise. He's nodding his head slowly, looking straight forward and eating more popcorn.

"Just nice?" I ask incredulously. I cross my arms over my chest and raise my eyebrows.

"Would you rather I say it was fucking amazing?" he questions with a chuckle.

"Well…was it?" I ask uncertainly, my voice quiet.

Edward turns to me and smiles crookedly. I bite my lip, somehow instantly turned on by that one look he's giving me.

"It was fucking amazing—even without real fucking," he says softly and I can't help but smile like a fucking idiot.

"Good," I say smugly. "Maybe next time, it'll be something more…"

I leave my statement hanging and I can see Edward about to say something but the movie previews start.

When the lights dim, the electricity between us intensifies. Every move he makes, I can feel that spark, even though we're not even fucking touching. This isn't as easy as it had been with Jacob. With him, every touch was normal; it wasn't even weird to hold hands. With Edward, I want desperately to touch him—both platonically and not.

But then I realize that with Jacob, though it was normal how we acted together, there was also no feeling behind it. It was like holding hands with a fucking family member, like my dad.

But with Edward, there was that weird spark that I couldn't get enough of...

I try to ignore my feelings and focus on the movie. It turns out to be pretty good, even if that kid is way too fucking buff for his age. And Edward was right—he did eat most of the popcorn.

After the flick, we sit in the theatre, waiting for it to empty.

"What'd you think?" I ask, stretching my arms over my head.

_Wait, did he just fucking check out my midriff that showed when my shirt lifted slightly?_

"It was pretty good but I'm kind of disappointed," he says with a frown.

"What do you mean?" I question; I didn't think it was that bad.

"I was really hoping for some 'action' once the lights went down," he whispers huskily.

I gasp and slap him on the arm; he just grins at me.

"Do you always have such a fucking dirty mind, Edward?" I grumble.

"Well I _am_ a guy," he shrugs. I just roll my eyes and stand up.

Once we're out in the lobby, I remember our second half of our…er…non-date.

"Any ideas for lunch?" I ask, tossing my empty soda cup in the trash.

"Yeah, there's this great coffee shop down the street that makes fuck-awesome smoothies," he says, the popcorn tub following my cup.

Edward drives us a few blocks to a small brick building. There's an outline of a bird by the door and it's called The Blackbird Coffeehouse. There are a few people milling around the shop, lounging in cushy chairs and gathered around tables. My eye is drawn to the glass case by the front counter where there's a fucking huge display of cakes, cookies and pastries.

I look up at the menu on the wall behind the cash register and I'm surprised to see a lot of organic and vegetarian choices.

"Looks good, huh?" Edward says, gesturing to the menu. "I figured you'd appreciate the menu."

I think back to my last meal out and how Jacob practically shoved his meat at me—both his food and his… yeah, I really need to stop thinking about such dirty shit.

We both order a Summer Berry smoothie—a mixture of strawberries, blueberries, a banana and some orange juice—and I order a Veggie Artichoke Sandwich. The second I read the description of it, I had to have it: fresh tomato, marinated artichoke hearts, Havarti cheese, organic spinach and a lemon mayo on organic focaccia.

"Do you mind if I…" Edward starts, looking at me out of the corner of his eye.

"If you what? This better not be dirty," I warn, crossing my arms across my chest.

"Damn, you're no fun," he jokes and I roll my eyes. "No, I was wondering if you mind if I get a turkey sandwich."

"You're asking my fucking permission to get meat?" I ask incredulously, taken aback yet again by his sweetness.

"I didn't want to offend you," he shrugs.

"Yeah, go ahead," I say quietly, feeling my face redden slightly. I can't believe he just asked if it was okay to get something non-vegetarian.

Edward orders a Chipotle Chicken Sandwich and we grab a table by the window. The weather is clear and mild with only a few clouds skirting the horizon. I slip off my hoodie and drape it over the back of my chair, adjusting the tight dark purple shirt I'm wearing underneath. Again, I see Edward's eyes linger momentarily at my waistline before he starts looking around the café, making it seem like he's interested in all the other shit going on.

"So, since you've kind of done this before, how would you like this 'relationship' to work?" Edward says, actually sketching fucking quotation marks in the air with his fingers.

"Did you just use fucking air quotes?" I snort and shake my head. "It's easy, Edward. Whenever we want some… we get some."

"Will you need to be shit-faced again?" he asks, trying to hold back his laughter.

"Shut up, fucker," I say, throwing a napkin at him.

"How do we act when we're out in public?" he asks, sounding shy. He can't seem to keep his eyes on mine and is now gazing at the table.

"The way we normally do," I tell him softly and his eyes finally flit up to mine. "Like we're friends."

"Is it no longer a secret?" he asks with a smirk.

"Well, I doubt it's much of a fucking secret anymore," I say. Just then, the food is delivered to the table and it looks fucking delicious. "Speaking of secrets, what's going to happen if Alice and Jasper get found out?"

"Oh God," Edward groans, taking sip of his smoothie. I do the same and almost moan at the way it's perfectly sweet and tart and creamy. "I don't even want to know."

"Does anyone know besides you?" I ask, taking a bite of my sandwich.

_Fuck, it's amazing…_

"I don't think so," he muses, biting into his own food. "But the way they were acting at the party… it'll be a miracle if it doesn't get around soon."

"Yeah, I saw her just after she did those shots with Lauren," I say, laughing a little at the memory. "She was fucking all over him."

"I know," he mumbles, his eyes darkening.

"I didn't even realize you'd be there," I say quietly, worried about his reaction to the subject but I had to know how he knew I was there. I hadn't seen him all night.

"Alice dragged me along," he answers begrudgingly, his eyes on his food. "Wanted to spend time with fucking Jasper, of course."

"How did you know I was there?" I ask in practically more than a whisper.

"I didn't," he sighs. "I mean, I had hoped but I didn't think you'd want to go. And then I thought I saw you but when I tried to follow, I got basically run the fuck over by Alice. But then…"

He stops and takes another deep breath before looking up at me.

"Then I smelled you," he admits quietly. I look at him quizzically but don't find it weird; I think he smells fucking great, after all.

"But then…" I start and bite my lip nervously. "You saw me with Jake."

"Yeah," he all but growls. "I didn't mean to get that mad, I really didn't. But when I saw you with that jackass and saw what you guys were doing—when I knew you wouldn't want to—"

He halts again, his hands clenching into fists on the table. I reach out and tentatively touch the back of his hand and he slowly opens it. Letting out a deep, he looks up at me and gives me a crooked smile. I feel my insides fucking melt and I smile back.

"You were right," I tell him honestly. "It was stupid to do…stuff…with him. He doesn't understand the word no and definitely doesn't respect boundaries."

Edward lets out a snort and I reluctantly pull my hand back so I can finish my sandwich. I miss the spark immediately.

On the way home, we chat easily about random shit. It's just so easy to be with him now, the awkwardness from the morning nonexistent. After a while, though, we get quiet. The look on his face is so contemplative that I wonder what he's thinking about. Seems like it's some pretty heavy shit.

We barely make it into town when Edward suddenly veers off the road, parking crookedly off the side. I look around in confusion, wondering if something is wrong. He shuts off the car, unbuckles and puts his fingers on the door handle.

"What the fuck?" I ask, looking around again. "Why the hell did you stop?"

"Because we need to try this sober," he says with a wink, grinning slyly.

I feel a smile creep up on my lips and unfasten my seatbelt quickly, throwing it off and flinging open the door. He follows suit and we throw ourselves into the backseat, our hands instantly reaching out to grab the other. Our lips meet and the electricity flows fast and hot. I moan into his mouth as his tongue darts out, tasting my lips. I let him in greedily, raking my fingers into his hair and pulling him closer, deepening the kiss.

Edward groans, putting one hand on the back of my head and slowly lowering me onto my back. He hovers over me but even with the space between us, I can feel his hard dick between my legs and instantly, I feel myself get wet.

I wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him against me. We both moan at the feeling and start moving at the same time, Edward pressing his hardness into me and me lifting my heat to meet him.

"Oh, God," I moan, pulling away and laying my head back.

"You feel so fucking good, even like this," he whispers breathlessly, kissing down my neck. "But I… I think I…"

"What?" I gasp and grip his shoulders as his gently bites the skin at the crook of my neck.

"I need more," he practically growls against me and I feel myself get wetter.

"Fuck, yes," I agree and reach down to his belt.

Just then, I hear his phone ringing. My fingers fumble and I look up at him as he stills.

"Fuck, that's Emmett," he mumbles.

"Ignore him," I insist and he starts attacking my neck again, making me lose focus on what my hands were doing.

Then another ringtone sounds and Edward stops, sighing heavily and resting his head against my shoulder.

"Double fuck, that's Alice," he mumbles.

"So what?" I say, pissed that we're stopping now.

"When Emmett calls and then Alice calls, it's never good," he grumbles, pushing himself up so that my legs fall limply to the seat until he's kneeling over me. He frowns as he refastens his belt.

"Fuck," I mutter, sighing heavily and running my hands into my hair, gripping tightly. "You owe me."

"Oh I do, huh?" he jokes, raising and eyebrow. I nod firmly and he lets out a low chuckle. "Alright, I owe you."

He leans down and softly nips at my neck again, making me shudder and let out a small whimper. He growls throatily and gets out of the car. I huff angrily and get out too, going back to the front seat of the car.

All the way back, the two of us are practically seething. It's like fucking torture to get so close to doing something that feels so fucking right and then to have it taken away. And I can't even really be angry at the fuckers that I want to be angry at because they can't know what we have going on. It's just not the kind of shit you really share.

When we get back to his house, I start to rush out of the car, still a bit pissed. Edward's hand reaches out and stops me. I turn back in surprise, my anger melting away at the sweet smile he's giving me.

"I owe you, angel," he says softly.

I feel my face flush and bite my lip, nodding stupidly. He winks and pulls his arm back.

I'm halfway to my house when I feel the urge to look back over my shoulder, to see if he's still there. And he is, but now he's standing next to his car and very obviously checking out my ass. He catches me looking and gives me a sheepish smile. I turn around, now walking backwards towards my house, and flip him off. I see him laugh and shake his head before heading towards his front door.

And I can't help it, now I'm checking out his ass.

* * *

><p><strong>So, I hope you liked the beginning and got my lame joke there with the Joan Jett song as the title. You really gotta listen to it; it's a filthy but fun song! Joan is amazing…<strong>

**Truth: I've become like addicted to the show Chopped. The things they do with such odd stuff is just fantastic. When I wrote the part about Edward getting grossed out at what he was watching, I had just watched the episode where they had to use sea anemone and one guy made some kind of custard. Seriously! It was strange…**

**Question: Are you addicted to any kind of show? Obviously, you're a bit addicted to Twilight and maybe even Robsten… I mean, you ARE reading FF. ;) Its okay, I'm obsessed too. Well, duh…** _  
><em>


	8. Chapter 8: With You

**I really didn't mean to be late with an update again. And I realized I shouldn't post these so late—last time, it was 12:30, this time it's 1—cuz I noticed a bunch of things wrong with the last chapter… which I can't think of now… cuz it's so late! I should go to bed. **

**Diclaimer: I own a cute black dress, 3 pairs of heels, only 1 of which I like/can wear without falling, and a touch screen phone because I'm fancy like that. The TwiUniverse? That, I do not own. :) **

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 8: With You<span>

I laugh as Bella flips me off and shake my head before heading into the house. Once inside, the anger is back and even before the door is closed behind me, my phone rings again. I hit the volume button to silence it and head towards the kitchen for some water.

I find Alice sitting on the counter, looking slightly annoyed as she holds her phone up to her ear. When she sees me, she sets it down, letting out a deep breath.

"There you are! Where the hell have you been?" she demands, throwing her hands in the air. "You were supposed to take me shopping!"

"I never said I would take you," I say as calmly as I can muster, filling a glass at the sink.

"Whatever, you were going to take me," Alice says flippantly, shaking her head and bending over her phone to send a text. "The dance is at seven and I have fucking nothing to wear."

"I'm not going to the fucking dance!" I cry, choking a little on my water.

"Ugh, fine, bring Bella, I don't give a shit," she grumbles, eyes still on her phone. "I already talked to mom, she said we can go but, of course, we have to be back by fucking one. But I figure I'll just sneak out, you can cover for me and I'll be back before she's up and—"

"Alice! Shut the fuck up!" I shout, slamming down my glass. Her head snaps up and her eyes are wide. "I told you, I'm not fucking taking you!"

"You said you wouldn't go to the dance, not that you wouldn't take me," she says, rolling her eyes. I growl quietly as she goes back to her phone.

I reach over and snatch her phone out of her tiny hands, power it off, and shove it in my pocket.

"What the fuck, Edward!" she cries, jumping off the counter and trying to reach into my pocket. I turn sideways, take the phone out and hold it above my head. Alice jumps a few times, attempting to reach it but her tiny four foot ten stature is no match for my six two. "Come on, brother twin, don't be this way!"

"Don't you brother twin me!" I say angrily and she stops jumping at my tone. "We need to talk."

Alice huffs and crosses her thin arms across her chest. I set her cell on top of the fridge, out of her reach, and turn to see her glaring at me through narrowed eyes.

"Alright, let's talk," she says coldly.

"Last night—"I start to say but she interrupts me with another huff.

"I know, you're pissed that I got shit-faced, I already know that," she says impatiently.

"Damn right, I'm pissed," I snap, jabbing my finger at her. "_You_ took fucking advantage of me taking you last night."

"Wait, what?" she asks blankly, her angry façade slipping.

"Alice, you didn't just basically fucking guilt me into taking you, you did all those body shots with Lauren and we both know how fucked up you get with hard liquor," I say, trying to soften my tone a bit. "Plus, didn't you notice that Jacob Black and his friends were there?"

"Well, Lauren did mention that she was inviting them," Alice mumbles, looking down at her shuffling feet and picking at her fingernails.

"So you fucking knew that that fucker and his shit head friends were going to be there and you demanded that we fucking go anyway, do I have this shit right?" I ask, my anger flaring up again. I growl quietly and pinch the bridge of my nose. "Do you know how fucking stupid that was?"

"Edward," she says in a small voice. "I just needed to fucking let loose and I really needed to see Jasper—"

"Don't give me that bullshit," I cut her off, letting go of my nose and putting my hands on my hips. "If you knew that Black was going to be there, we shouldn't have gone—especially so close to the fucking anniversary of fucking Tanya's death. Unless you want to go the same way as her—"

"Shut the fuck up!" Alice screams, her fists at her sides and her eyes sparkling with tears. "Don't fucking bring that shit up! I needed Jasper _because_ of that day and I couldn't because of—"

"Because of Emmett, I get it," I say exasperatedly. "If he's really that important to you, why don't you just fucking say so and stop hiding it. Though, after your display last night, I'm pretty sure the whole fucking school knows."

"You're one to talk!" Alice shouts, the tears flowing freely now. "I see the way you fucking look at Bella, you might as well just fuck her and get it over with. I mean, I know you regret that you couldn't fucking save Tanya before you and she ever really—"

"Fuck, Alice!" I yell, slamming my hands down on the counter. I hear her yelp behind me.

We both stand there, the room silent besides my heavy breathing, her quiet sniffling and the plinking sound of rain against the kitchen window. After a few minutes, I feel her stick like arms wrap around my waist as she buries her wet face into the back of my t-shirt.

"We should have spent more time together that day, brother twin," she says quietly.

"Yeah," I whisper, placing one hand over hers and sighing. "I'm still not fucking happy with you though, sister twin. And I really don't think that you should have to hide Jasper."

"I know," she whispers miserably, giving a sad sigh and standing up straight. "But I really don't want Emmett to force us apart."

I turn around to look at my small sister; her face is streaked with tears and smudged mascara and her lower lip is still trembling a little. I grab a paper towel off the roll on the counter and try to wipe her face clean. She wrinkles her nose but lets me, until I spit on the towel and reach for her again.

"Ew! Edward!" she complains, shoving my hand away. We both laugh and then I bring her into a tight hug.

"I'm sorry, Ali," I say softly, kissing the top of her head.

"Me too, Edward," she sighs. "Will you help me figure out what to do about me and Jazz?"

"I'll try, but I'm not making any promises," I tell her.

"Will you… take me tonight?" she asks quietly.

I sigh heavily and pull away. I look down at Alice's hopeful face and she gives me a small smile.

"Let me think about it," I tell her before plucking her phone off the top of the fridge and handing it to her.

I head upstairs to shower and run into Emmett as he comes out of the bathroom.

"Shit, there you are," he complains, rubbing his head with a towel. "Listen, I was wondering if I can borrow the Volvo tonight. Rose wants to go to the dance. You going?"

"Not sure," I answer evasively, grabbing a towel out of the hall closet.

"I figured Alice was going to go and when I offered to give her a ride, she flipped the fuck out," Emmett says, making me drop my towel. "Any idea who shit in her cornflakes?"

"Isn't it piss not shit?" I point out, pretending to be interested in a stray thread on my towel.

"Whatever," Emmett says, draping his towel over his shoulders. "She's your twin, thought she might have told you something she didn't want to tell me."

I shrug my shoulders and push my way into the bathroom, closing the door before Emmett can ask any more questions. I turn on the shower and sit down on the closed toilet seat, dropping my head into my hands and growling in frustration.

I didn't mean to snap at Alice. Sure, I was pissed about the night before but then she interrupted my time with Bella yet again and for her own fucking selfish reason.

Last night in the tree-house had been fucking spectacular and though I was nervous as fuck to see Bella after that, I was dying to see if we could be so intimate again without being drunk. And even though our new "relationship" hadn't felt quite right, it was better than nothing. It did unnerve me a bit to find out that she had a fuck buddy before but did it really count if he turned into her boyfriend?

My anger rises at the thought of another guy touching Bella. I know I'm not a virgin, far from it, but still… For some strange reason, I fucking hate the idea of some asshole doing anything with her.

I jump at the feel of my phone vibrating in my pocket but smile when I pull it out and see that it's Bella texting me.

_All okay? Please tell me someone fucking died or something._

I laugh, relieved that she's as upset as I am about the disruption in our activity.

_God that would have been better than what I came home to. Just drama between siblings. A wants me to take her to the dance and Em doesn't get why she won't ride with him._

I strip off my shirt and reach into the shower to feel the temperature. My phone buzzes again.

_Is that it? Just tell her to fuck it and go anyway._

_I wish it were that easy… Em is catching on that she's hiding shit._

_Fuck. Are you going to have to go to the dance then?_

_I don't fucking know… She told me to bring you._

I freeze after sending the text. Shit, I didn't mean to basically invite her to go with me. I can feel a panic attack coming as I wait for Bella to answer me, terrified that I'm ruining our friendship. I mean, do fuck buddies do more than just hang out and, well, fuck? Was a dance too much of a boyfriend/girlfriend thing?

My phone vibrates and I hold my breath to read it.

_I'm not one for dancing but we could sneak away to finish our "business" from earlier._

I let out a shaky laugh, smiling stupidly at her suggestion.

_Sounds like a plan. I just gotta take a quick shower._

_So… are you talking to me naked right now?  
><em>I laugh again, looking down at my only half bare body. I cock my head to the side, wondering if Bella is thinking what I'm thinking. She never said anything about no "sexting" and I've always been curious about trying it. Fuck, I hope that that's where her mind is headed, too.

Before I can overthink it, I strip my pants down and lean my ass against the counter, gasping at the cool tile on my bare skin. I take a deep breath and text Bella.

_I am now. Any reason why you're asking?_

The answer comes quickly and instantly makes me hard.

_I wasn't sure if we'd get a chance to fuck around later so I was thinking about finishing myself…_

"Holy fuck," I groan, running my hand through my hair; with shaking fingers, I text back.

_Are you sure you can't wait until tonight?_

_Fuck no. Tell me what you're doing…_

My heart is racing as I reach down and touch myself, slowly stroking my cock. I have no idea if this will turn her on or not but fuck, it's worth a shot.

_I'm stroking myself…and thinking about you touching yourself._

_Mmm you must be a mind reader._

I groan and feel my dick twitch in my hand.

_Shit. Tell me more._

_You first. Describe it._

_I'm long and hard. So fucking hard…_

_Holy fuck! I'm so fucking wet… _

_Describe it…_

_I can feel it, my panties are soaked… God, I can feel how hot I am through my jeans._

_Take it off—all of it._

_Done. Geez, Edward… I can hardly breathe just thinking of you. _

_Are you touching?_

_Oh yes. Just one finger… slowly… up and down my folds. _

_Fuuuuuck that's so hot…_

Just her words are turning me on so much. I slide to the floor, gripping my dick so tight that it almost hurts. I pump slowly, up and down, clutching my phone in my left hand.

_Fucking hell, it feels so good. I'm imagining your long cock rubbing me._

_Me too, angel. Shit I bet you feel so good… Are you still only touching?_

_Yes… But I want to go inside. Are you going fast or slow?_

_Slow, so slow… Put one finger in and go slow…_

_God, this is torture. Just one finger? _

_Only one…move slowly…_

_My legs are fucking shaking. Please, I need more!_

I let out a small moan, my hand picking up speed. This chick is so fucking hot, even when she's not here. And I have to give in when she pleads and I tell her that.

_Shit, if you beg like that, I'll give you anything. Add another finger… Tell me how it feels._

_So fucking good. I'm curling my fingers inside, thinking of you. Fuck…_

_God, I'm holding so tight, moving so fast… I'm going to come soon._

_Oh shit, me too…_

_Put your thumb right on your clit…_

_Oh, fuck! Oh geez, I'm gonna come… Please, come with me…_

_Fuuuuuuuuuuucking shiiiiiiiiit…._

I text and groan the words, coming all over my hands and dripping down my legs. I sit there, panting and shaking, just having had the second best orgasm of my life—and again, with no real contact from another person. God, this girl…

I look down to see her text and smile.

_Tonight._

* * *

><p>When I tell Alice that I'll take her to the dance, she screams so shrilly that I swear only fucking dogs can hear at that decibel level. Once she finally calms down, I explain to her that we're going to have to slowly start clueing Emmett in on her secret boyfriend. She's too excited to really care and bounces off to get ready.<p>

Carlisle comes home just in time for me to convince him to let Emmett take the Mercedes. Emmett if fucking thrilled and leaves early to go pick up Rosalie, boasting about how cool he'll look pulling up to the school in such a hot car. I shake my head at him, glad he's appeased.

I go upstairs and find Alice digging through her closet, throwing clothes over her shoulder in her search. When I try to ask her what she's doing, she mumbles something about buying some sexy outfit months ago and never finding a time to wear it.

I try to shake the images of my "sexy" sister and am saved by my phone ringing.

"Yeah," I answer shortly, not bothering to look at whose calling. Instead, I squeeze my eyes shut to avoid being blinded by a pair of lacy panties that go flying by my face.

"Is that any way to treat the person that just gave you two fucking fantastic orgasms in as many days?" Bella's voice says and my eyes fly open.

"Shit and you weren't even there for one of them," I admit quietly, glancing over at Alice who is now leaping up to try to reach a shopping bag on the shelf in the closet.

"Oh, I was there," she whispers seductively as Alice's bag comes crashing to the floor—turns out it had a collection of ceramics in it. "What the fuck was that?"

"Alice dropped something, hang on." I set the phone down on the bed and come over to Alice, who's scooping up the broken pieces into the bag. "Ali, slow the fuck down. You're going to hurt yourself."

"Whatever, I'll deal with this later," she says frantically, abandoning the mess and throwing herself back into her closet.

I sigh, shake my head and grab my phone again.

"Sorry about that," I say to Bella.

"S'ok. Any bloodshed?" she asks, making me laugh.

"Not this time, not that it would have fazed _me_ anyway," I joke; Bella gasps.

"Fuck you! Oh wait, that's later…"

Bella trails off suggestively and I groan, feeling myself go hard again.

"Shit, angel, I'm going to need another cold shower," I say in a low voice, keeping my eyes on Alice for any reaction. She's busy swearing to herself as she still searches.

"You had to take a cold shower? That's fucking hot," she whispers and I can picture her biting that full bottom lip of hers.

"Bella," I warn and she laughs.

"Sorry, sorry," she says, not sounding apologetic at all. "I was just calling to see when you were coming by… and what I should wear."

"Wear nothing," I whisper in a gruff voice.

"Yeah, right," Bella scoffs and laughs at my attempt at seduction.

"Shit, I don't care really, I'm just wearing dark jeans and a long-sleeved black shirt," I tell her, grimacing as Alice holds up a skimpy top to inspect. "Just as long as if fucking covers you, unlike the way my sister is going here."

Alice lowers the top and glares at me. I raise a challenging eyebrow and she sticks her tongue out at me.

"Well, it'll cover, but…"

"But what?" I encourage. Shit, she says more with her trailing off than anyone I've ever known.

"Well, I have this skirt—" she starts but I cut her off.

"Wear it," I insist and she laughs loudly.

"Alright, choice made," she says, still chuckling. "It'll make things easier anyway."

"What?" I ask blankly, my mind going into overdrive. I know she said that we'd do… something…. tonight but did she mean…?

"You'll see," she purrs, ending the call.

"Fuck," I swear under my breath, looking up to see Alice standing in front of me, hands on hips.

"What do you think, brother twin?" she asks, giving a twirl.

I'm surprised to see Alice standing there looking fairly modest. She's wearing a flouncy black skirt with this frilly crap peeking out the bottom and only reaches her knees. She—thankfully—decided against the scanty top and instead is wearing a simple blood red tank top that dips down just enough in the front to still be considered decent.

"Wow, sister twin, not bad," I say with a nod. She squeals and grabs a pair of fucking high heels. "Fuck, and those shoes will make you look at least five feet tall."

"Shut up, fucker," she says, narrowing her eyes at me as she wraps the long black ribbon around her calf. I vaguely wonder what Bella will look like in heels like that…

"Let's go!" Alice trills, breaking me out of my dirty thoughts. Halfway down the stairs, she spins around to face me. "Is Bella going?"

"Uh, yeah," I say uncertainly, a little freaked out by the blazing look in Alice's black rimmed eyes. "Is that okay? You told me to ask her."

"Yeah, I did," Alice says slowly and sighs heavily.

"Be nice, please?" I ask desperately. "She's my friend; I really like having her around."

"Can I ask you something?" she asks; I nod hesitantly. "She's friends with Jacob Black."

"That's not a question, but yes," I tell her reluctantly, sure of where she's going with this shit.

"Does she… I mean, has she…" Alice says, at a loss for words, which is very unlike her.

"She's done drugs before," I answer her, tucking a misplaced lock of hair behind her ear. "But she knows how I feel about Black so hopefully…"

I shrug my shoulders helplessly, no fucking idea whether or not Bella is addicted to the shit or just does it for fun. Shit, I should have asked her, I should have made sure I wasn't getting in deeper than I already am. Not that I'd be able to back off now or would have been able to stay away in the first place. Oh fuck, this was going to turn out like Tanya all over again.

"Edward, stop overthinking it!" Alice says loudly, obviously sensing my discomfort. "I'm sure everything will be okay."

I follow my sister outside. She slides into the backseat easily, already on her phone. I pull out my own to text Bella when I hear her calling my name from across the lawn. I look up and feel my fucking jaw drop.

Bella's usually messy hair is neatly curled, the purple pulled forward to rest on her chest. Her eyes are dark, as usual, but she added a bit of shimmering eye shadow and her lips are shiny with pink gloss. But what really has my attention is the dress she's wearing.

The dress is black with a purple ribbon around the middle and stops halfway down her thighs. My eyes travel down her creamy white legs to see her feet in her usual converse sneakers, but this time she's wearing black low-tops.

"Hey, eyes up here, dirty boy," she smirks, placing a finger on my chin when she reaches me and raising my eyes to hers. "Like what you see or something?"

"You have no fucking idea," I say gruffly, resisting the urge to run my hand up her leg.

Bella rolls her eyes and let's herself into my car. I get behind the driver's seat, stealthily trying to adjust myself to hide my boner.

The atmosphere inside the car is icy. I glance over my shoulder at Alice as I pull out of the driveway. Her head is still bent over her phone, her leg jiggling nervously. Once out on the street, I look at Bella; she's chewing on her thumbnail again, a habit I've been noticing when she gets anxious.

I hook up iPod and plan to break the tension with some music. The first thing I put on is something poppy.

"Ugh, no Edward, change it," Alice demands from the backseat.

I scroll through the songs and pick some reggae.

"Um, not really my style," Bella mumbles from the front seat. I shrug and choose again.

"Oh hell no, not country!" the girls cry in unison and I stifle a laugh.

"Alright, alright!" I say, picking something I know Alice will like and have a feeling Bella will too.

The funky synthetic sounds of Linkin Park's song With You plays through the speakers and Alice cheers from behind me. I glance at Bella who nods vigorously. I smile and turn it up, not really paying attention to the lyrics until about halfway in:

_It's true the way I feel  
>Was promised by your face<br>The sound of your voice  
>Painted on my memories<br>Even if you're not with me_

_I'm with you_  
><em>You<em>  
><em>Now I see keeping everything inside<em>  
><em>You<em>  
><em>Now I see<em>  
><em>Even when I close my eyes<em>

_I hit you and you hit me back_  
><em>We fall to the floor, the rest of the day stands still<em>  
><em>Fine line between this and that<em>  
><em>When things go wrong I pretend the past isn't real<em>  
><em>Now I'm trapped in this memory<em>  
><em>And I'm left in the wake of the mistake, slow to react<em>  
><em>So even though you're close to me<em>  
><em>You're still so distant<em>  
><em>And I can't bring you back<em>

I look at Bella out of the corner of my eye at the line _fine line between this and that_, thinking of our new relationship. She catches me looking and blushes slightly. I peek into my review mirror and find Alice facing towards the driver's side window, fixing her eyeliner, a small compact in her hand. The eye facing the front is squinted shut, so I take a chance.

I reach a hand out and trail it up Bella's smooth thigh, fingering the edge of her dress. She gasps quietly, widening her eyes at me. I give her a crooked smile, making her blush deeper. She bites her lip and looks over her shoulder at Alice who's still unaware of what we're doing.

Bella smiles slyly and places her hand on mine. I expect her to push it away but instead, she guides it farther up her leg and under the skirt. I'm fully expecting to encounter the soft cotton of her underwear much too soon so I'm fucking surprised that I still feel bare skin. And heat.

My eyes pop out and I stare incredulously at Bella.

_Are you wearing underwear?_ I mouth at her and she shakes her head.

I snatch my hand back, placing it back on the steering wheel and gripping tightly. Bella presses her lips together to keep from laughing and turns sideways in her seat. I try not to look as she runs her own slender fingers along the inside of her thigh, teasing me and stopping just under the hem of her skirt. She shakes with more silent laughter as I lift my hips slightly off the seat in an attempt to readjust myself…again.

When we get to the school, Alice insists that I drop her off on the far side of the campus so she can meet up with Jasper. Once she's gone, I round on Bella.

"Holy shit!" I cry, openly staring at her legs.

"What?" Bella asks in a fake innocent voice. "It's a dance—I wanted to dress up a bit."

"But since when do you wear shit like this?" I suppress a groan as she twists in the seat again.

"Is it bad? I have a lot of stuff like this around. I mean, I did live in the desert before," she says, tilting her head to the side and twirling her purple chunk of hair between her fingers.

"I've never seen you so girly, it's just so…" I gesture to her body and let out a sigh. "Hot."

"Shut up, I _am _fucking girly," she says, punching my arm; I wince theatrically.

After I park, we casually share a smoke on the way to the cafeteria, sticking to the shadows so that we go unnoticed. Couples are giggling and rushing into the warmth of the school, the girls clutching the guys as they teeter through the puddles in high heels. I smile at Bella's sensible shoes—not that it would be a bad thing to have her hanging on to me like that.

_Shit, Cullen, she's not your girlfriend!_

The music inside the dance is predictably crappy—a lot of it being the music that had played at Lauren's party. Rosalie's blonde head and Emmett's huge statue are easily spotted in the midst of our other classmates because of their bright red clothing. I notice that everyone's dancing is less exuberant than the night before—no doubt because of the lack of alcohol.

I shove my hands in my pockets to keep from touching Bella again as we head to the bleachers that are set up along one side of the wall. Random groups of people are spread about the seats and a few look at Bella and me curiously as we sit down. Not wanting them to talk about us, I make sure to place plenty of space between us.

Bella lounges on the bleachers, her elbows resting on the seat behind her and her legs stretched out in front of her. I see Mike fucking Newton step on Jessica's foot while dancing because he's too busy ogling Bella's legs. I snicker and Bella looks at me curiously.

"What?" she asks, furrowing her brow in confusion. I lean closer to answer her.

"You do realize you are killing every person with a dick here, don't you?" I say, nodding towards Tyler Crowley who just slopped punch down his shirt.

"Well, I didn't really dress up for them," she whispers and then glances around. "Although, it is fun to see how long Eric Yorkie can make that face before his fucking eyeballs fall out."

I laugh and scoot a bit closer, still reminding myself to keep my hands folded firmly in front of me.

"Do you want to drive them even crazier?" I ask; she quirks an eyebrow but nods. "Then come on."

I stand and hold my hand out. She bites her lip, clearly understanding what I want, and gingerly puts her small hand in mine. The jolt shoots through my whole body and I reluctantly let go when she's standing next to me and instead place my fingertips on the small of her back.

"Just don't let me fall," she pleads in a whisper.

"I promise, I won't let go," I tell her, spinning her around when we get to the group of dancers.

My hands instantly plant themselves on her hips and soon we're both swaying to the music, Bella's warm body getting closer to me by the second. I'm so entranced by the way she gyrates to the music that I don't notice all the eyes that are on us. Whispers start around us, an odd hiss that blends with the booming music.

"I think people are noticing," Bella shouts in my ear, reaching up on her toes.

"Noticing what?" I shout back and she laughs.

"I think that in order to keep this—" she gestures between the two of us, making my heart leap. "—looking like just a friendship, we're going to need to fucking prove it."

"How?" I ask, cocking my head to the side.

She bites her lips and visibly sighs. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Tyler and Lauren inching towards us. Bella casually slides my hands off her hips and turns us towards them and I get where she's headed—and I'm not all that happy about it. Though I know she has a point. If we don't want people catching on, we need to act normal. And though I don't like to usually associate myself with people like fucking Lauren and Tyler, if it's what Bella wants to do, then fuck it, I'll do it.

The four of us dance together, Lauren eyeing Bella and then me. I keep my eyes on her, giving her a crooked smile to make her think I'm interested, and it works; she starts pressing against me, rubbing her tits on my chest and snaking her arm around my neck. I can smell the overpowering scent of her fruity perfume and I long for the sweet smell of Bella.

I turn my head to the side, pretending like I'm just moving to the music, but really I'm sneaking a look at Bella. She looks comfortable with Tyler; her hands are on his shoulders as his hands roam up and down her sides. I feel a twinge of anger and try to hold it back but feel a bit better when I see the vacant look in Bella's eyes. She's not feeling this either.

Luckily, the music stops and the DJ announces that he's going to take some requests. Bella gently pushes Tyler back and starts fanning her face, which is a fucking beautiful shade of pink.

"Shit, it's hot in here," she gasps. "I'm going to get some punch… Coming, Cullen?"

I'm a little taken aback by her use of my last name but follow her anyways.

"So, what was with that?" I ask, letting her ladle out a cup of punch for each of us.

"What was with what?" she asks, gulping down the bright red liquid.

"You called me Cullen," I say, trying my best not to sound fucking pathetic; I can tell she notices anyway.

"Look, I was just trying to sound uninterested," she says, finishing off her drink and getting more. "Nothing personal, I promise."

I look down into her deep brown eyes and I think I understand.

"Is your hard ass just too good for a nice guy like me?" I ask with a smirk.

"Wouldn't _you_ like to know how hard my ass is," she says in a low voice, taking a step in front of me. She licks the rim of her cup slow and seductively and I instantly get hard.

"Bella, I think I'm the one that's hard," I growl.

Without any warning, she reaches down and grabs me. The touch doesn't last long before she's turning around to toss her cup in the trash.

"No shit," she says under her breath, turning back to me and biting her lip.

"You said tonight," I say quietly, throwing my empty punch cup over her shoulder and into the garbage. "Care to tell me when?"

"Well, obviously, you're ready," she says with a smirk. "How about at nine thirty, you meet me behind the biology building."

"You mean… you want to do it here?" I ask disbelievingly, my eyebrows shooting up.

"Fuck yeah. Makes it more exciting," she says with a wink and then saunters off.

I wipe my sweaty brow nervously, feeling like a fucking idiot for my reaction.

For the next forty five minutes, Bella and I dance with random people but keep the distance between each other. I try not to feel jealous whenever I see another guy put their hands on her; I breathe a sigh of relief though each time they try to get fucking handsy and she just swats their hands away.

Just before it's time to meet, I see Bella slip away towards the ladies room. I stand at the punch table, sipping the sugary drink, wasting time when Emmett walks up.

"Where the fuck have you been?" he accuses, dishing out some punch.

"Dancing," I say simply. "I think you were too busy sucking face with Rose."

"Oh, right," Emmett says with a chuckle, looking around. "Where's Bella? Didn't you come with her and Alice?"

"Bella went off to the bathroom but I'm not sure about Ali," I say and then I spot her across the room in a shadowy corner. She has her arms wrapped around Jasper as they stare lovingly into each other's eyes.

_Holy shit, sister twin, way to keep it a secret. First the party and now this?_

I walk around to the other end of the drinks table, hoping to draw Emmett's eye away from Alice and Jasper's corner but he doesn't move. Instead, he scans the room, gulping down his punch until he suddenly chokes on it, sputtering it all over the front of his shirt—which is thankfully already red.

"Why the fuck is my sister and best friend holding each other like that?" he demands, pointing across the room.

"They're just fucking slow dancing, no big deal, they're friends," I ramble. "Hey, Em, when's your next game? I was thinking—"

"The song is not a fucking slow dance, Edward," he snarls at me, his eyes still locked on the scene. "I'll kill him, I'll fucking kill him."

He starts to march across the floor and I fling myself in front of him.

"Emmett, calm down, just listen," I plead. I place my hands on his massive chest but I know I'm no match for him. I go running a few days a week so I'm in shape but Emmett could easily bench press fucking two of me.

"She knows the fucking rules!" he spits at me and then his head snaps up, his eyes getting wider and darker with anger. "Oh, hell no!"

Emmett shoves me out of the way and charges across the room where the couple is now kissing heatedly. I swear under my breath and take off after him, hoping like fuck that this doesn't get too ugly. Partway across the room, Rosalie catches sight of us and gives me a confused look. I motion for her to follow and she snatches up her handbag and follows.

"What's going on?" she pants at me when she catches up.

I don't answer and just point to the corner. Rosalie curses and picks up speed.

Alice seems to sense us coming and pulls away from Jasper just in time. Jasper turns in horror and shoves Alice behind him, shielding her from harm.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, Whitlock?" Emmett shouts at Jasper once we reach them. Rosalie and I each take one of his massive arms in our own and attempt to hold him back.

"Dude, you need to calm down," Jasper says calmly, one hand reaching behind him to Alice and the other held up in surrender.

"Calm down?" Emmett yells, straining against us. "You know the fucking rules!"

"You're not my fucking father, Emmett!" Alice screams from where she's cowering behind Jasper. "You don't fucking tell me shit!"

"Em, baby, what's the big deal?" Rosalie asks.

"You know the story, Rose, I'm not having that again," Emmett growls, yanking his arm out of her grip and pointing. "And these two fucking know too!"

"But it's not what you think—" Jasper starts to say, backing away with Alice.

"What's going on?"

Bella suddenly appears, looking back and forth from where Rosalie and I are wrestling with my brother and where Alice is trembling behind Jasper. Her eyes widen slightly when she realizes the seriousness of the scene and returns her gaze to me.

"Did you know about this?" Emmett questions Bella, his nostrils flaring with his heavy breathing.

"Yeah, I told them to do it," Bella states, making us all turn to her in surprise.

"You did?" Emmett says, staring blankly at Bella. I try to catch her eye so I can figure this shit out but she glares bravely at Emmett.

"Yes, I did," she says as though it's obvious, crossing her arms over her chest. "I saw some guy drooling all over Alice. When I told the fucker she was taken, he didn't believe me—so I told Jasper to step in and play the part of boyfriend."

"But… they were kissing," Emmett says, sounding mildly disgusted. "Where were you when that shit was happening?"

"Well, a real couple wouldn't want a fucking audience when they wanted to kiss," Bella says, sighing exasperatedly and rolling her eyes. "Not everyone enjoys PDA like you and Rosalie."

Emmett shrinks back, looking abashed, and I feel it's safe to release his arm. Likewise, Jasper straightens up and steps away from Alice, who's still looking a bit surprised as she wipes the tears from her face. The dance is still carrying on behind us like nothing had ever happened and the tension between the six enough is thick.

"Next time, dipshit, get your facts straight before you throw a hissy fit," Rosalie scolds Emmett, hitting him on the back of the head and making us laugh. Emmett massages the back of his head and wraps his arm around her waist.

"Sorry, baby," he mumbles, leaning in to kiss her. She puts up a well-manicured hand to stop him.

"Say fucking sorry to your sister and best friend," she tells him, turning his face to them.

"Sorry, guys," he mutters, his eyes on the floor.

_Well, at least I know I'm not the only one fucking whipped by a girl… Though, he's actually dating his…_

"It's okay, man," Jasper says, sounding dazed.

"Emmett, give your sister a hug and go get me some punch," Rosalie orders.

Emmett shuffles forward and wraps Alice up in a bear hug, lifting her off the floor. She sniffles into his shirt and giggles when he tickles her sides.

"Rose, Bella, come to the bathroom with me?" Alice asks quietly when she's on the ground.

The girls mumble their assent and start to follow her. Bella turns around and gives me a small smile before heading to the bathroom.

Jasper stands in front of me, watching the girls leave with a look of disbelief still planted on his face. When it's just the two of us, he turns to look at me.

"You've got yourself a good girl there," he says with a chuckle, brushing his messy hair out of his face.

"She's not mine," I mumble, shoving my hands in my pockets.

"Dude, you know Alice has a problem with her, and so does she," he says, holding up his hand in Bella's direction. "What she did just now wasn't for Alice and it wasn't for me. It was for you, Edward."

"Bullshit," I say with a laugh, shaking my head. "We're just friends, it must be some kind of girl rule or some shit like that."

"Whatever," Jasper says with a shrug. He holds out his hand for me to shake. "Thanks, though."

"No problem," I tell him, shaking his hand firmly. "But I've been trying to tell Alice…"

"Yeah, me too," Jasper sighs, dropping is hand. "We need to get this out in the open. That's what I was hoping tonight was for."

Just then, the girls come back. Alice whispers something in Jasper's ear; he nods, says goodbye and leaves. After giving Alice a hug, Rosalie goes to find Emmett.

"I'm going to talk to him," Alice says with a firm nod.

"To Emmett?" I ask; she nods again. "Are you sure, sister twin? Do I need to be there?"

"No, I can do this," she says with a shaky sigh. "Like you said, clue him in slowly. Don't worry—Bella helped me come up with a plan."

I quirk my eyebrow at Bella; she just shrugs and smiles at me.

"Alright, if you're sure," I say with a chuckle, running my hands through my hair.

"I'll get a ride home with Jazz." Alice wraps her arms tightly around me and I squeeze her back. "Thanks, brother twin. Love ya."

"Love ya, too," I tell her, kissing the top of her head. "Be careful."

Once alone, I nod my head at the exit; Bella nods and we walk out into the cold night together.

"Seems like we're never going to get that chance," I sigh as we amble across the campus.

"We do keep getting rudely interrupted," Bella agrees.

"So, is there any reason why you decided to help my sister like that?" I ask, looking at her sideways.

"Fuck, I don't know," she mutters. "I was just kind of thinking about us."

"What about us?" I ask, a smile creeping up on my face.

"Well, we're hiding our shit, but for good reason," she says quietly. "But them? No, they're in love and there's no reason why that should be kept in the fucking dark."

At the mention of the word "love", my stomach does this weird backflip thing. And then suddenly, her hand is on my arm, tugging me between two of the buildings as the sparks fly from the contact.

Bella shoves me up against the wall and puts her hands on my shoulders; I can feel her warm, sweet breath on my face.

"Let's hope we're not interrupted this time," she says in a low voice, her lips dangerously close to mine; I can actually smell the strawberry lip-gloss coating them.

"A-are you sure about this?" I stutter stupidly.

"I'm fucking positive," she growls, pressing her body against mine.

She grabs my hand and puts it on her outside thigh, slowly moving it up and under her skirt. She lets go and I take over, gliding my hand up her smooth skin. I had almost forgotten that she wasn't wearing any panties until I encounter her bare ass. I grip tightly and she gasps, making my already hard cock throb with anticipation.

Then her lips are on mine, her tongue pulsing into my mouth feverishly and I pull her body hard against mine. She moans into my mouth as I grind her lower body against mine and that sound is my undoing.

I spin us around so that I'm now pinning her to the wall. She runs her fingers into my hair, grabbing tightly and pulling my face back down to hers. I waste no time in exploring her mouth with my tongue, licking off the fruity lip-gloss quickly. Gently, I suck her bottom lip into mine and she groans again, deeper and throatier this time.

My lips travel down her neck, peppering her skin with light licks and kisses. She pants heavily, moving her hands down to my shoulders.

"Edward?" she gasps breathlessly and I hum in response. "Do you… do you have… have a condom?"

"Shit…yeah, I do," I say, pulling back and digging in my back pocket. I had never been so fucking happy that Emmett had stashed a handful of condoms in my glove box until this very moment.

I rip the package open with my teeth as Bella fumbles with my belt. As I'm about to reach down to help, she beats me to it and yanks the buttons open. I don't even have to offer to pull it out; she reaches in quickly, grabbing my length and squeezing tightly.

"Fuck, you _are _long," she breathes.

"Shit, that feels so good," I groan as she slowly moves her hand along my cock.

"What, is this all you want then?" she questions with a smirk.

"Fuck no but damn it, your hand… it's so… so…"

"How about we see if you like how the rest of me feels," she whispers, pulling me out of my boxers. She freezes at the sight. "Holy fuck."

"Is that… is that bad?" I ask, still having trouble controlling my fucking breathing when her hand is still touching me there. If I thought the spark felt good when she just touched my hand, it was nothing like now.

"Fuck no," she growls, pulling the condom out of my hand and rolling it onto my length.

I press my body against hers again and she hitches her leg onto mine, her heel digging into my ass. I grab her leg behind the knee with one hand and push her skirt up with the other. I can't help but stare into her eyes, one more time, to check that this is okay. She smirks and licks her lips and it's all the encouragement I need.

Gently, I press my tip against her folds. Bella moans and her eyes flutter shut. I tease a bit, rubbing up and down torturously slow. Her back arches into me and her fingers dig into my shoulders.

"Fuck, please, just do it," she groans, biting her lower lip.

_Shit, I have to give in when she fucking pleads._

Keeping my eyes locked on her face, I position myself and push inside her, slowly, only a little bit at a time, never fully entering her. She whimpers quietly; I reach down and grab her other leg, wrapping it around my waist, making her gasp and open her eyes.

Her big, chocolate eyes are boring into mine, hooded slightly as her breathing starts to pick up.

"Oh God," I moan. "You feel so… so fucking good."

"Shit, you really do like to go slow," she whimpers, wrapping her legs tighter around me.

"How do you want it, angel?" I say in a low voice.

"More, just… more, please…"

"Oh fuck, you're pleading again," I groan, burying my face in her neck as I enter her fully. She gasps quietly again and then laughs.

"Oh that's right, you can't take it when I beg, can you?" she whispers; when I shake my head against her neck she chuckles again. "Then please, Edward… Harder… faster…"

I growl into her skin and give in, thrusting my hips faster and deeper. Her arms and legs cling to me, pushing me closer to her. I spread my own legs farther open and start to feel my own release already. But I need her to come with me.

With a little difficulty, I manage to squeeze my hand between us and reach down to press my thumb to her clit.

"Holy shit!" she nearly screams, pulling my face up to hers. She kisses me hungrily, biting my bottom lip before tangling her tongue with mine.

I move my thumb in fast circles, trying to keep up with my frantic thrusting. Bella whimpers into my mouth and I pull back, worried I'm hurting her but she simply throws her head back, pressing her eyes shut and moaning again.

"Fuck, Bella," I mumble. "I need to… I'm gonna…"

"Harder, please," she begs and I'm practically slamming her against the wall, my hand moving so fast that it slips on her slick wetness.

And then, her back stiffens, then arches as she shatters around me. I keep pace for a few more seconds before I feel myself release inside of her; my hips slow until I stop but leave myself buried within her, not wanting to stop quite yet. We both moan loudly, Bella chewing on her bottom lip again. I tug it free with my own lips, kissing her slowly as we come down from our high.

Slowly, she lowers one foot to the ground but leaves the other around my waist.

"If you want me to pull out, you'll need to put the other down too," I chuckle; she grins wickedly.

"Oh, but you feel so fucking good inside of me," she purrs, nipping at my neck before using her own hand to pull me out so she can lower her leg. I stifle a whimper once I'm out.

"Fuck, you feel just… amazing," I tell her, snapping off the condom and dropping it to the ground.

"Hey, no littering," she scolds, readjusting her skirt as I put myself away. I roll my eyes and put my hands against the wall on either side of her head.

"I think what we just did was much worse than littering," I say in a low voice, lowering my teeth to her earlobe and biting gently. She lets out a fucking cute little whine.

"Shit, we need to do this again," she whispers.

"Isn't that the idea behind our… friendship?" I ask and again, the simple phrase sounds so fucking wrong, though I'm not quite sure why.

"Mmm I suppose so," she hums, closing her eyes briefly. When she opens them again, there's this strange look there, like something isn't sitting right with her either. The look only lasts a moment before she smiles at me.

After a quick kiss, we step away from the wall, walking back to the car with that careful distance between us once again.

But all I want to do is hold her close and never let go, and not just during those secret moments in the shadows, but anytime she's around. I need to feel that fucking electricity buzz through my veins; I can't get enough of it, it's like a drug. I want to just fucking hold her hand and have her be mine.

But I shouldn't feel this way about my friend, should I?

_Fuck…_

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><p><strong>AN:**

**I hope I delivered with the dirtiness here… I tried! And I figured, since they did agree to be "Friends with Benefits" that the benefits needed to kick in sooner rather than later.**

**Truth: I can't dance. I'm as clumsy as book Bella, maybe even more so. I sometimes think it's weird when authors have their Bella's be good dancers, though I know it's supposed to be OOC, so for the record, my Bella isn't the best of dancers lol. But she can at least hold her own…**

**Question: Alright, this is more of a bribe than a question. Because of my so late update, I wanted to give back a little extra BUT I'm gonna be greedy and request something in return. No, you don't need to do anything dirty… But if you review, I will give you something special, something I've never really considered doing. See, I love writing EPOV and BPOV, especially E for some reason so this will be new for me. Sorry, I'll quit rambling and get to the point. I have some Alice POV to offer, but like I said, you gotta review. At least let me know you're still with me! And love me! That'd be nice…**


	9. Chapter 9: Take It Off

**Please don't hate me. I know this is way late… But good news! I got a job in the field I've been studying for years! Bad news is that means less time for writing. And then, of course, when I start to get comfortable with my new schedule, I decide to be the klutz queen and bruise a bone on my foot tripping over a rock. Total facepalm moment there, I know. And THEN I figure I'll be sitting around more because of my foot but I was so tired after working all day with one of those stupid boot things on my foot that I just ended up crashing when I got home. Once I got used to it, I decided to start writing again… that is, until my free Microsoft Word expires on my computer. *sigh* I had to re-write the first couple pages of this chapter. Ugh. It's like the world is out to get me when it comes to writing. But here it is! A little short but I found my outline so that I can keep up better. I hope you like it, and I hope you like me still! *fingers crossed***

**Disclaimer: Obviously, it's not really mine... I just like to make up stuff.**

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><p><span>Chapter 9: Take It Off<span>

**BPOV**

After the dance, a weird kind of truce formed between Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and I. By the following week, no one knew about the conversation in the bathroom—including Edward. But because of upcoming midterms, Edward and I didn't get to spend a lot of time together, whether to talk or do... other things. Our only time together at all was lunch at school when Emmett was there so we couldn't say shit about Alice and Jasper.

But it didn't matter. Emmett had plenty to say about the matter.

"Fuck, Alice, how long are you going to keep this up?" Emmett complains, gesturing at Alice and Jasper's joined hands on the lunch table.

"For as long as we need to," Alice hisses at him, gripping Jasper's hand tighter. Only I notice; Emmett is groaning and running his hand over his face for the fucking millionth time.

"Who is it you're faking it for, anyway?" Emmett groans, picking at his hamburger bun; as far as he knows, some guy was putting the moves on Alice at the dance and Jasper rescued her, claiming her as his own.

"I told you," Alice rolls her eyes. "I don't know who he is. But I do know he's a senior. Maybe even on the football team."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Emmett nearly shouts, sitting up in his chair.

"Emmett, calm the fuck down," Rosalie says, putting a hand on his arm.

"No! They would never come onto my sister!" Emmett growls, now rounding on Rosalie. "They know better than to fucking mess with me! Now, who the fuck was it?"

Emmett whips back around to Alice who starts to falter under his gaze. Jasper peeks at her out of the corner of his eye and then suddenly sits up straight.

"Shit, I think I just saw him," he mutters, throwing his around Alice's shoulders and bringing his chair closer to her.

"What? Where?" Emmett demands and spins around in his chair. I swear, he's going to give himself fucking whiplash. I snort quietly, gaining a suspicious look from Edward, but cover with a sip of my water.

I look over at the cafeteria door and see a crowd of people walking in, all of them various jocks and their girlfriends. They're obviously the athletes of the school—they're all fucking buff and most of them are wearing either jerseys or Letterman jackets.

"Ah, I can't tell if he's there," Jasper mumbles sadly, shaking his head. I'm repressing my smile so hard that my face is starting to hurt.

Emmett growls loudly, crossing his arms tightly against his massive chest.

"I'm gonna find out," he mutters angrily.

"They'll never admit to it," Jasper points out. "I only saw the fucker once and the lights were low at the dance."

"What did he look like?" Emmett asks, straining to look over his shoulder at the group now crowded at the lunch line.

"I dunno... big guy," Jasper shrugs; Alice takes a huge bite of her apple and only manages to nod in agreement.

"They're all big fuckers," Emmett sighs, rolling his eyes.

I turn towards Edward, stifling a snicker. He cocks an eyebrow at me in confusion and that only makes me want to laugh more. I need to get the fuck out of here before I fucking explode. I nod my head at the door and stand up.

"I left my bio homework in my truck," I lie easily, swinging my backpack over my shoulder. "Wanna walk with me, Edward?"

Edward packs up quickly and follows me outside. Once we're clear of the door, I burst out laughing, making Edward jump in surprise.

"Holy shit, I couldn't hold it in anymore!" I cry, wrapping my arm around my aching stomach and stumbling towards the parking lot.

"Okay, when are you gonna fucking tell me what the hell is going on?" Edward complains, throwing his arms up in the air.

"Fuck, I don't know," I giggle, wiping away the moisture at the corner of my eye before it can ruin my eyeliner. "It's pretty fucking hilarious seeing you so confused.

Edward stops at my truck and leans against it, crossing his arms in front of him.

"Do you know what I find fucking hilarious?" he says menacingly, his lips pulling up into a smirk.

"What's that?" I ask, leaning next to him and mirroring his pose and attempting the same tone but I'm still trying not to laugh.

"Holding back on you until I get the story," he shrugs, still smirking.

"Uh, kind of hard to hold back shit when we haven't had the chance, dumbass," I counter, rolling my eyes.

"No one is around right now," he grins, glancing around the parking lot that is full of cars but empty of people. As usual, I'm parked as far from the buildings as possible.

"We can't do it here," I mumble, suddenly paranoid, though everyone is obviously inside. It may not be raining out but it's cold as shit; I shiver as I glance up at the darkening clouds.

"And why the hell not?" Edward murmurs, shifting his body in front of mine and placing his hands on my truck on either side of my head. Suddenly, I feel blazing hot and my breath stutters. I inhale his fucking phenomenal scent, feeling myself waver but try to hold my ground.

"Because I don't fuck in public," I whisper but my eyes flutter shut as he leans in and lays a soft kiss on my neck.

"But we did it last week," he breathes, running his nose back and forth across my jawline.

"That was in... in a semi-private place... hidden... not out in the open like this," I babble, placing my hands on his chest and trying to push him away—but I can feel his hardened muscles under my fingers and instantly feel my knees go weak.

"Hmmm, well... we could go inside your truck," he hums, his warm breath heavenly against my skin, which is both on fire and covered in goosebumps. He kisses again, this time just under my ear, his mouth slightly open.

"We... we can't," I mumble incoherently, not sure why I'm saying no. I never say no to a fuck buddy. That's against the rules or some shit.

Edward chuckles, knowing he's won and yanks open my truck door. Before I can even open my eyes, his arm is around my waist as he all but throws me into the cab of my truck. He climbs in after me and this time I surprise him by taking charge and grabbing the front of his sweatshirt. I pull his lips to mine, moaning at the taste of him on my tongue after what felt like forever.

I struggle to get both his and my pants undone at the same time and he chuckles against my mouth, reaching between us to easily snap open my jeans, all the while never breaking contact.

I shimmy out of my pants just enough to give him room and then push him back.

"Sit," I command, making him grin and quickly obey. I straddle his lap and he looks down and gasps.

"Shit, you're not... not wearing any underwear," he breathes, sounding in awe. I can't help but laugh and shake my head at his sudden loss of nerve.

"Laundry day," I murmur, lacing my fingers into his hair and bringing his face back to me. I kiss him firmly, grinding my lower half into his. He groans into my mouth and trails his fingers down my back, dipping down lower to feel my ass. I feel a shudder rip through him at the feel of my bare skin under my jeans and I make a mental note to go commando more often.

"Condom?" he suddenly gasps, pulling his mouth away only long enough to mutter the single word.

"Glove-box," I whisper back and feel his hand leave my heated skin to reach out blindly. His nails scrabble at the dashboard, making me giggle against his lips. The laugh disappears quickly as I hear the compartment pop open; I feel myself get wetter at the mere thought of what is about to happen in fucking seconds after what felt like fucking months.

But then I hear a ringing sound.

"Nooooo," Edward groans, dropping his hands to his sides. I sit back in confusion and look at him. His face is screwed up in a grimace; he sighs heavily.

"Just fucking ignore it," I insist, leaning forward again but he shakes his head.

"It's Emmett," he says as the ringing stops. A second later, his phone beeps and he touches the screen. "He just texted me... Class is starting."

"So? Let's ditch," I shrug.

"Bella, we have midterms coming up," Edward says with a sigh, looking up at me sadly. "And we have a review in class today."

"Ugh, fucking shit...fine!" I snap, sliding off of him and pulling my pants back up. I run my fingers through my hair a few times and look into the review mirror to check my make-up.

"Bella?" Edward says quietly and I hear the sound of his pants zipping.

"What?" I ask, straightening my shirt.

"We'll find time," he says in a low voice. I look up at his crooked smile and feel my anger melt—but only slightly. That burning sensation is still deep down inside me.

"We fucking better," I demand, pulling my hood up to go out into the now misty air. Edward chuckles behind me and follows me towards the school.

* * *

><p>Biology is practically torture. He's so close I can feel the heat coming off of him and it only makes me hornier. It doesn't help that every once in a while, when no one is looking, he reaches over and lightly touches me—my arm, my shoulder, my side and even once, my fucking inner thigh. When that shit happens, I smack his hand away; he snickers under his breath but keeps his hands to himself, as well as a shit-eating grin on his face.<p>

At the end of the day, I wait out at my truck for him but after only a few minutes, he texts me:

_Alice wants to hang out in the library and go over shit for Spanish class. What are you doing around four?_

I let out a huff. I had been hoping he'd be free to "hang out" with me. I climb into the shelter of my truck and type out a reply.

_Hopefully you. _

I can't help but smile at his answer.

_Does that mean you'll be on top again? Sounds hot._

_Damn straight. Your ass better be at my door at exactly four._

_Or what?_

_Or you're not getting any._

_Ha! You were angrier than me when we got interrupted. There's no way you'll be able to wait any longer..._

I gape at his message... though I know he's right. Damn him.

_Shut up, fucker. Just be there._

I throw my phone into my backpack and gun the engine.

* * *

><p>Back at home, I wait impatiently on the couch for Edward to show up. My attention is focused anywhere but where I try to put it and I end up rushing around the house, cleaning shit that doesn't need to be cleaned, starting laundry, and changing into sweatpants—for easier access, of course—when finally, I hear a knock.<p>

I throw myself at the door, wrenching it open to a slightly frustrated looking Edward.

"What's up?" I ask suspiciously, wondering if he's even in the mood.

"I fucking hate my sister," he growls, stepping in and slamming the door behind him.

Before I can ask why, his lips crash into mine, kissing hungrily as his hands roam all over me. My hands instantly thread into his soft hair, gripping tightly. I moan as his fingers slide into the back of my sweatpants and reluctantly pull away.

"Not here," I pant, turning around and racing up the stairs with his hand clenched in mine.

Once inside my room, we're back to where we started—his hands everywhere, mine holding his face against mine and our tongues pulsing in and out of each others mouths.

"God, I want you," he moans, feeling me under my shirt.

"Isn't that the idea?" I quip, placing my hands on his chest and pushing him back so he's lying on the bed.

"Can I ask you something?" he says nervously as I fiddle with my iPod, needing some sort of background noise.

"Um... sure?" I say, flipping the lock on my door.

"Can I... Can I see you... you know... naked?" he stutters, sitting up slightly with his elbows propping him up. His eyes are cast down, staring at the foot of the bed.

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours," I say softly, pressing play on the music. The sound of an electric guitar and loud drum beats fill the room as The Donnas starts playing.

_I'm on my second drink but I've had a few before_

_I'm trying hard to think_

_And I think I want you on that floor_

_Come on, get on the floor_

_Go on and take it off_

_You gotta shake it off baby for me_

_Come on and break me off_

_Cause I get what I want and I like what I see_

Edward laughs, sounding more at ease. I raise my eyebrows at him and finger the edge of my shirt, silently indicating that he start the strip tease. He sits up slowly and begins removing his shirt, swaying slightly to the beat.

I gasp quietly at the sight of his bare chest, which is just as amazing as it felt. He's not overly muscled but he's toned and lean. I reach out my fingers to touch but he grabs my hand. When I look up at him with wide eyes he shakes his head, tugging at my own t-shirt. I roll my eyes but comply, jutting out my hip in time to the music.

_Don't wast time, just give it to me_

_Come on baby, just feel me up_

_Come on, just feel me up_

His eyes widen as I reveal my chest; apparently, he didn't realize that when I meant I needed to do laundry, I meant all of it. Today's shirt was from a couple days ago and none of my bras or panties were clean. I try to hold back the grin as his eyes stay fucking glued to my breasts. My breath hitches as he reaches out to touch, but instead of going directly for the obvious, he runs his fingers down my abdomen, circling my pierced navel with one finger.

"Oh, shit," I mumble, my nipples hardening as his hand goes slowly up my side, still not touching but simply tracing the lines of where a bra would be.

"Pants?" he whispers but I shake my head frantically.

"You first," I tell him, taking a step back so that I'm out of reach.

He gives me that crooked smile and stands as he unbuttons his pants. My breath picks up as he slowly slides his jeans down to show off his boxer briefs—where he's straining against the fabric.

I can't fucking hold back anymore.

I fling my arms around his neck and attack his mouth with mine. I walk forward until we tumble onto the bed; my legs straddle his and I could almost fucking come right now if I move just right against him. I do just that, pressing my center right against his hard cock.

"Fuck, Bella," he moans, wrapping his long fingers around my ass, encouraging me to continue.

"That sounds good," I say, sitting up and grabbing the top of my sweats.

The sound of the front door opening makes us freeze. We turn in unison with identical looks of horror on our faces as Charlie calls up the stairs.

"Bella? Are you home?"

"Shit," we both mumble, scrambling off the bed and into our clothes.

Charlie's footsteps trudge up the stairs, growing louder the closer he gets.

"Fuck, now what?" Edward hisses, tripping as he tries to force his left leg into the same pant leg as his right.

"Shit, um.. uh.." I mutter, spinning around frantically as I tug my shirt on over my head. "Fuck, I'm sorry... in the closet?"

Edward doesn't need telling twice. The moment Charlie's fist makes contact with my door, he's across the room and stuffing himself into the closet, his shirt still clutched in his hands. I race after him, stumbling over my backpack along the way, to shut the door behind him. I hate having to hide him like this but I have no fucking clue what Charlie would say if he found me locked in my room with a boy—especially if that boy was Edward, our neighbor, the doctor's son, practically a son of his own—fuck—

"Bella?" Charlie calls, knocking quietly.

"Yeah?" I say breathlessly, rubbing my sore toe. Edward tries to step forward to help but I wave him away and slam the door on him. I feel it make contact with him and gasp.

"Ow!" Edward hisses.

"Shit! I'm so sorry!" I whisper.

"What are you doing, kid?" Charlie asks through the wood. I jump in surprise, stepping on my fucking bag again.

"Studying," I invent wildly, my eyes lighting upon my damn booby-trap of a backpack. I unlock my door, grab my bag and dump it's contents on the bed, opening a book at random and jumping onto the covers.

My thumbnail goes straight to my mouth nervously as my bedroom door opens and a tired Charlie walks in, his eyes taking in the room.

"Little dark in here, isn't it?" he asks, flipping on the light.

"Oh, right, I've been in here a while," I mumble, my eyes trained on my book—my Health book which is fucking open to the page discussing the reproductive cycle.

_Fucking hell, just kill me now!_

"Are you hungry?" Charlie asks, leaning over to inspect my book. I turn the pages hastily and mumble incoherently. "I was going to order some pizza and invite Edward over."

"What?" I squeak, my head snapping up.

"There's a game on tonight, I thought he might want to watch with me," Charlie shrugs, oblivious to my sudden outburst. "I haven't seen the kid in a while and I know Carlisle said that midterms are soon so I figured he'd want a break."

He smiles at me uncomfortably and runs a hand through his hair. He seems to be waiting for an answer so I look back down at my book and try to act fucking normal but my eyes keep trying to stray to the closet where I fucking swear I can hear Edward breathing.

"Alright, just no fucking meat on my pizza," I say shortly. Charlie sighs heavily and leaves, closing the door behind him.

"Fuck," I breathe out, leaning back against my pillows.

"Is he gone?" Edward muffled voice says from inside my closet. I listen to the sound of Charlie walking back down the steps and throw my arm over my eyes.

"Yeah, he's gone," I groan. I can hear Edward tip-toe across the room and then feel his warm weight on the mattress next to me.

"Damn, angel," he sighs. "Apparently the only time we get to fuck is in the tree-house and between buildings."

"Shit, that better not be the only fucking times," I grumble, my face still hidden behind my arm.

"Is it always this hard to fuck your fuck buddy?" he asks with a small chuckle. I feel a small twinge at the casual term but choose to ignore it. We both agreed to this shit.

"No," I say quietly, breathing deep to try to make the feeling go away.

A warm hand wraps around my wrist and gently pulls it away. I open my eyes to deep green shining through what looks like a halo of bronze. With the light behind him, Edward is the one that looks like a fucking angel.

"It's no big deal, angel," he says softly, giving me his lopsided smile.

_God, I might have just come a little...again._

"Well you better, you know, go home so you can be invited over," I say sarcastically. He laughs and sits up slowly. I sit up with him and sigh, running a hand through my tangled hair.

"I guess I should," he says, standing slowly and starting towards the window. As I'm reaching over to turn off my iPod, he turns around to me. "Can you just do me a favor tonight?"

"I was already planning on not wearing any fucking underwear," I laugh, thinking of my laundry waiting to be switched over to the dryer.

"No not that—though that's a nice thought, albeit a little torturous," he says pensively. He shakes his head and looks down again, giving me the shy treatment.

_Hell, I love when he's so shy like this... It's fuck-hot. And adorable._

"No, actually it was kind of stupid really..."

_Wait, when do I use the word adorable?_

"I mean, if you don't want to, it's no big deal, I was just fucking curious..."

_Well when the word fucking fits..._

"You know what, just forget it, nevermind..."

_God, I'm such a fucking girly girl around him, it's so weird—but kind of right and—_

"Wait, what?" I sputter, realizing he had been talking to me this whole time. "No, just spit it out, Edward, it can't be that bad."

"Will you... wash off the make-up tonight?" he asks so quietly I almost don't hear him.

"Oh," I say, blushing. I vaguely remember him telling me, weeks ago, that he liked me without make-up. "Sure, I can do that."

"Great, cool, thanks," he rambles, grinning at me and practically sprinting to the window. He glances back at me briefly before climbing out into the tree-house and down the ladder.

_God, this boy..._

* * *

><p>By the time I'm cleaned up and fully clothed, this time with a hoodie on over my t-shirt, the doorbell rings to signal the arrival of the pizza. I head downstairs to the kitchen and find Charlie pulling out paper plates and a beer. I reach for one for myself and he snags it out of my hand.<p>

"What?" I ask innocently.

"Bella," Charlie says in a warning voice. "You are way too young to drink."

"Mom used to let me," I whine, opting for a coke instead.

"Sure she did, kid," Charlie mumbles and takes his dinner into the living room. I frown at him and start to follow when I hear the front door open.

"Hello?" Edward calls out and I feel my fucking heart skip a beat.

_What the fuck? I only saw him twenty minutes ago…_

"Hey, Edward, pizza is in the kitchen," Charlie says. I retreat back into the kitchen and lean my back against the counter, picking at my cheese pizza.

"Hey," Edward says brightly, smiling when he sees me.

"Hey," I answer, trying to act all nonchalant and shit.

Edward chuckles, obviously not fooled by my behavior—which I can't fucking explain and it's bugging the shit out of me—and gets himself a couple slices of pepperoni pizza.

"You look good, angel," he says quietly, with his back to me as he gets out a soda for himself.

"Um, thanks," I mumble, setting my pizza down on the counter behind me.

"So, uh… have any other plans tonight?" he asks with a sly grin, turning towards me.

"Not really," I shrug. "I was hoping my fuck buddy was free to, you know… fuck…"

I trail off, slowly unzipping my hoodie a little and looking at him from under my lashes. I can see him suck in a sharp breath and then squirm slightly. He sets his food down on the table and walks slowly towards me.

"Oh yeah?" he says lazily. I nod, biting my lip as he stands directly in front of me, his eyes locked on my fingers that are still fingering my zipper. "I don't know, seems like those two get interrupted quite a bit…"

I nod again, my breath coming in short gasps. I can feel his warm breath on my face as he slowly leans forward.

And then, without warning, he forces my hoodie open and shoves his hands under my shirt, trailing a line of fire up my sides as he grips my breasts. I gasp and latch my fingers in his hair, tugging until he lowers his mouth to my neck. As his hands gently massage my chest, his tongue and teeth are fucking all over my skin, making me write against him, breathing so fast that I'm feeling fucking dizzy.

"Oh, fuck, if only I could have you right now…" he whispers huskily.

I can only moan in response and push myself against him.

"Hey, kids, game is starting!" Charlie calls.

We both groan in defeat and slowly release each other. I sigh heavily, fucking frustrated as hell again, and zip my hoodie back up. I huff and cross my arms across my chest.

"Don't be like that, angel," Edward says softly, running his fingers down my arm. I shiver slightly in pleasure but keep the surly look on my face.

"This fucking sucks," I complain.

"I know," he sighs, picking up his food and walking back into the living room. With another sigh, I grab my own shit and follow.

"What took you guys so long?" Charlie asks, his eyes not even leaving the TV screen.

"Just talking about our math final this week," Edward says easily, sitting down at the end of the couch, leaving me the chair nearby.

_Aw, fuck… I forgot about math._

"Yeah, we were thinking about studying for that together," I say quickly, a plan forming in my head. "Maybe…. Thursday night?"

"Thursday?" Charlie asks, looking away from the commercials now playing. He scrunches his brow in thought. "That's our poker night and it's my turn to host."

"You mean here?" I ask, taking a bite of my pizza.

"Yeah… can't you do it another night?"

"Well, the test is Friday, so—" Edward starts to say but I cut him off.

"So I have to do it Thursday because that's the night before the test so I'll remember it easier," I say, cracking open my soda. Edward glances at me out of the corner of his eye but doesn't say shit.

"Oh," Charlie says, looking like he's thinking hard. "You could go to his house, I suppose, so that we don't disturb you."

"Yeah, I guess," I shrug, looking at Edward. "What do you say? We've been meaning to study all week."

I see him flush slightly as he hears the true meaning behind my words.

"Oh, um… yeah, sure… I mean, I suppose that would work," he rambles, circling the top of his soda can with his fingers.

_Shit, those fingers… God, I want him…_

"Great! Then it's settled," Charlie says happily, obviously pleased he'll get the house to himself. "Oh, by the way, Bella, your mom called."

"So…?" I ask slowly, raising my eyebrows.

"So, she wants to talk to you," Charlie says as though I should know this shit.

"Well, duh, if she called," I mumble and then say louder, "But that's why I have a cell phone so why did she call here?"

"Beats me," he says through a bite of pizza. "She said she wanted to discuss something with you first and then me later, I guess."

I narrow my eyes in suspicion. What the hell is she up to? She doesn't talk to me for fucking weeks and then suddenly we need to 'discuss' shit? Charlie seems completely clueless, too, so I'm not going to get anything out of him. Whatever.

The game goes on for-fucking-ever and I eventually get bored. I consider getting out my homework—I really do need to study—but decide to get this phone call with my mom over with. I let the guys know that and head upstairs.

I close myself in my room and pull out my cell, deciding to first text Edward.

_How long do these fucking games last?_

Surprisingly, it doesn't take long for his answer.

_Sounds like someone is impatient…_

_You already knew this shit._

_True. I think it's almost over—as long as they don't go into overtime._

_I'll fucking shut off the power in this house so that the damn game has to end!_

_That would certainly end things. But I could suggest finishing it at my house…_

_You wouldn't fucking dare!_

_Okay, maybe not. _

_Who does my dad think you're talking to right now, anyway?_

_I told him my sister is getting nosy. _

_Ah. Well, guess I better call my mom. Shit, I hate talking to her…_

_Just get it over quick, angel. Wanna meet in the tree-house later?_

_Apparently that's the only place we can do much of anything so yeah, I guess._

I decide on a quick smoke before calling my mom. I sit by the open window, a blanket draped over my legs, and try to draw out the time before the inevitable. When my cigarette is spent, I flick it out into the misty air and pull out my cell again. I bring up the house number, hoping she's out and won't answer, but she answers on the second ring.

"Hello?" Mom answers breathily.

"Hey, mom," I say, trying not to sigh too loudly.

"Bella! I haven't talked to you in weeks!" she says happily and I roll my eyes.

"Well, you know where I've been—you sent me here."

"Oh, Bella," she sighs. "You could have called too, you know."

"Yeah," I say curtly. "So, you called dad…to talk to me?"

"Oh, yes!" she exclaims. "I wanted to know your plans for spring break—it's coming up soon, you know."

"No shit," I mumble, trying to follow her train of thought. I have a feeling I know what this is about but just in case it's not, I decide to play dumb. "No clue. Why?"

"I was hoping you'd come home to visit!" she says.

I feel all the air rush out of my lungs. This is exactly the shit I was afraid of.

"Um…what?" I whisper.

"I have it all planned, baby! I cleaned up your old room—I'm sorry, but my paint supplies ended up in there—and we can go on some hikes, like the old days, and Phil wants to take us out to the museums, because he knows you love art. Oh and I wanted to…"

I zone out as she prattles on about all the shit she's already decided we're going to do. It's like I don't even have a choice. Not that I wanted to live here but I've gotten used to it, even the shit weather. The only real upside to being told I was moving was the opportunity to be away from Phil, who I swore I wouldn't go near again. I hated that fucker with every fiber of my being. What would it be like to be around him again?

And I didn't know how I felt about being away from Edward for a week. Fuck buddy or not, we saw each other every day—if not at school then when he came over to help out Charlie. I mean, we could call and text each other but would that be good enough?

Shit. I've never been this worried about being away from someone before, especially not a boy. What was going on with me? Was I feeling something more than want for this boy?

"Bella honey? Did you hear me?" Mom's voice says, bringing me back.

"What?" I ask blankly.

"Were you even listening?" she asks, sounding disappointed.

"Uh, sure… Listen mom, can you… I mean, can I think about it?" I ask uncertainly.

"What's there to think about?" she asks with a laugh. "You hate it there!"

"Not really," I mumble, thinking of Edward.

"Sure, you can think about it," she sighs but I know she really won't give me the chance. I'll have to find some way on my own to get out of it. "Anyway, Phil and I are about to eat—oh, do you want to say hi?"

I feel a surge of white hot anger pulse through me at the thought of him. I close my eyes briefly and visions of his face hovering over mine, his eyes out of focus because of all the liquor he's consumed, flash behind my closed lids. I shake my head quickly and answer her through gritted teeth.

"No, that's okay."

"Oh, okay, honey, I'll talk to you later," she says cheerfully, blowing kissing sounds into the phone.

I snap my phone shut and toss it onto my bed, disgusted with how happy she is. Before I had left, she seemed sad to see me leave but I knew that was a load of shit. She's ecstatic to have the house free of any obligations, which was clear by the way she so easily filled my room with her own shit in no time. No fucking way was I returning there.

And what did this mean for me and Edward? We're at least friends so would he be disappointed that I was leaving for at least a week?

Probably not… Unless his feelings for me were anything like the shit I felt for him…

But what did I feel for him? Because this didn't feel like a normal relationship to me. I was constantly finding reasons to talk to him, to see him. My first thought in the morning was wondering what the fuck he was going to wear that day, when he'd be at school, if maybe I should just ask to ride with him, claiming my car was acting up just to get a few extra minutes with him…

Shit.

My phone buzzes and I warily go pick it up but it's just a text from Edward.

_Hey angel, all clear to come over?_

I instantly get nervous, wondering if I should tell him about the call. I bite my thumbnail anxiously, slowly sitting down on the bed. My hands shake over the buttons of my phone, trying to think of what to fucking tell him. For now, I decide on just telling him to come over.

After I send the text, I set the phone aside and go back to my thoughts. My stomach is tied in knots, making me feel like fucking puking. I take a few slow, deep breaths and finally decide that, for now, I'm not going to say shit, in case I can convince my mom to let me stay home.

I shake my head and smile as I grab a blanket to take out to the tree-house with me.

_Apparently, Forks is my home now._

* * *

><p><strong>Again, sorry for the lateness and the shortness. What I want to happen next didn't really fit right at the end here so, you'll just have to wait. BUT I plan to manage my time better so that I can go back to a regular schedule. Might not be once a week but hopefully at least every other...<strong>

**Truth: My foot still hurts. Huge bummer.**

**Another Truth: The amazing Trey124, a very loyal reader, told me that she (I'm assuming here, sorry) finds my story really hot. I totally blushed at that comment. I mean, I know I like it but I wasn't sure if everyone else did. I also thought the beginning of this was amusing and my pre-reader/stalker agreed, which made me happy.**

**Question: So um… do you find this story hot?**


	10. Chapter 10: Some Devil

**::Peeks around corner nervously:: Oh, um, hello there! So yeah... I really didn't mean to make you wait... again... The first half of this chapter flowed really easy but then when I was trying to write the second half, I kept thinking of what I wanted to happen later and it totally screwed with my head. I kept trying to plan it out, to figure what would work best and when, and all it really did was make me think of what I wanted to write while writing what needed to be written. Yeah. I'm just lucky I didn't write my words backwards and out of order (though I have been known to do that when I get ahead of myself, both when writing by hand and typing). I decided to wait for my pre-reader to read this before posting and since we both had work in the way, it took a little longer than usual. Hmm maybe I should just blame it all on Sayuki then. Heh heh. Kidding! Love ya, Stalker!**

**Disclaimer: I own a weird desire to be able to swear as often and openly like my kids here but I do not own the original, non-swearing kids. They belong to a lovely lady from Arizona. **

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 10: Some Devil<span>

**EPOV**

"Edward, are you even listening to me?"

"Huh?"

I turn to my sister to find her staring at me accusingly, her open History book in her lap.

"Yeah, of course I was listening," I say, rubbing my eyes tiredly. We'd been studying for hours.

"Then what did I ask?" she demands.

"Uh... The capital of California?" I mumble.

"We learned that shit in eighth grade, dumbass," she snaps and slams her book closed. I lower my hands and look at her warily.

"What is going on, sister twin?" I ask, getting off my bed to sit with her—after I shuffle what looks like every single page of notes for the past semester.

"We have tests coming up and lots of them!" she cries, gripping her comforter with both hands. "And if I don't pass everything this semester then I can't go..."

She trails off, biting her lip nervously. Her dark eyes dart down and back up again.

"Alice... where is it you want to go?" I ask apprehensively.

"Well... Jasper invited me to go... camping with his family for spring break," she says quietly, her eyes on her History book as she traces the title on the front cover.

"That sounds like... fun..." I say slowly, not sure what this means.

And then I realize.

"Oh, Ali," I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. "You need to come clean."

"I know!" she says almost desperately. "But how?"

"I don't know," I groan, lowering my hand and glancing out the window—where I've been waiting to see Bella's bedroom light turn on all evening. "Just straight up tell him."

"It's not really that easy," she mumbles and then speaks up. "But what about you?"

"What about me?" I ask quickly, turning back to her.

"When are you going to come clean about you and Bella?" she asks, quirking an eyebrow at me.

_Shit, does she know? How could she know? Bella and I make very sure to act like we're nothing more than friends... Oh God, what will Alice think? I've been telling her for so long to just admit to her relationship with Jasper. I'm such a fucking hypocrite._

_But it's not like Bella and I are dating... Although..._

"Edward, you're my brother—and twin—and I can see the way you act around her."

I stare blankly at her, trying to figure her out. What the fuck is she seeing?

"You look at her the way I look at Jasper," she states simply, a coy smile on her lips.

"What?" I laugh. "No way—Bella is my friend. That's it. Nothing more."

Alice raises an eyebrow at me, positively smirking now. I chuckle but then stop short.

_Oh fuck, did I really look at her that way?_

"It's written all over you face now, brother twin," Alice says, pointing at me. "You think about her all the time… Whenever you see her, you fucking light up like a Goddamned Christmas tree. Anytime her name is even mentioned, you perk up. You like her—plain and simple."

_Shit, did I?_

If I was being honest with myself then…

_Fuck yeah, I did._

"Ah, no, Ali," I moan, burying my face in my hands. "Why did you have to plant that shit in my brain?"

"It was already there, you just didn't see it," she says matter-of-factly. "Just tell me… Are you waiting to hang out with her tonight?"

I sigh heavily and raise my head.

_Fuck, I was just waiting for her to leave the room so I could text Bella to ask if her dad's friends had come over yet so she could come to me. But there was no point in lying now…_

"Yeah," I admit lamely.

Just then, my phone buzzes. Alice giggles and rises from the bed.

"Well, it's Thursday so American Idol will be on any minute," she says lightly. "I better steal the couch before Emmett comes home."

With a little skip, Alice leaves the room. I watch in disbelief as she locks the door behind her.

Looking down at my phone, I see a text from Bella and automatically grin. Alice's voice rings in my ear…

_Shit, just cover me in tinsel and stand me in the corner with a fucking star on my head._

I sigh and open Bella's message.

_My day has been shit. Is it clear to come over?_

I text back right away, my hands slippery with sweat as my sudden realization looms over me.

_Do I tell her?_

The longer I think about what Alice said, the more I notice about my relationship with Bella. Besides the obvious being happy to see her, I do think about her more than anything and anyone else. I wonder if she's happy, if she's feeling okay, if she's thinking of me…

When I first agreed to be her fuck buddy, I thought nothing of it. We had a clear attraction to each other but I know I bugged the shit out of her—at least at first. I'd always been that way and it either drove girls away or brought them closer.

Tanya was the only exception. Both happened. I could tell she wanted to be with me but the little things kept her at arm's length—things like the slight age difference, how we had known each other since childhood and she was Alice's best friend.

The big thing was the boyfriend—the jackass that wouldn't let her make her own decisions on anything. He decided who she hung out with, what she ate, what she wore, what fucking drugs she did or did not take…

A light tapping noise on the window brought me out of my thoughts. I look up to see Bella at the window and hurry to open it for her.

"Fuck, it's freezing out here," she mumbles as I help her climb over the sill. I relish in the tingling sensation when my hand makes contact with hers. I right away notice that she's dressed comfortably already in sweats and her hair is pulled back from her face.

_Fuck, her face is even clean tonight, her porcelain skin just glowing…_

"Want my blanket?" I offer but even before I finish asking, she's pulling my comforter around her shoulders. I smile and sit next to her. "So how was your day?"

She glares at my cheerful attitude but knows I'm kidding and sighs heavily.

"Just my fucking mom again," she groans, pulling her knees up to her chest and leaning against the wall behind her.

"Did she call again?" I ask, moving to sit next to her—I can't help but want to be close to her, even after my scary admission.

"Yeah, but the bitch was smart and actually called my cell," she says, frowning. "I ignored it, though."

"Why don't you want to talk to her?" I ask slowly, totally confused as shit about her aversion to her own mother.

"I'm still a bit pissed at her, I guess," she shrugs. "She still keeps asking me about… I mean, _she_ was the one that banished me from my own fucking home."

"Do you really hate it here that much?" I whisper, looking down at my hands resting lightly on my crossed legs. I feel my throat constrict slightly.

_Looks like it'd be fucking pointless to tell her how I feel now…_

"What? God, no, Edward," she says quickly. "I mean… at least, not anymore."

"Really?" I ask, grinning as I turn to look at her. She smiles shyly but doesn't break her gaze.

Without meaning to, I lean forward to softly brush my lips against hers. She sighs contently so I kiss her again, reaching around to place my hands on her hips. With no further prompting, she swings her leg over my lap to straddle me. I wrap my arms tightly around her waist as she puts hers around my neck, lacing her fingers up into the hair at the nape of my neck.

She moans softly into my mouth, lightly kneading her hands into my scalp. I tease her lips with the tip of my tongue and she obliges, reaching her tongue out to touch mine. We both shudder simultaneously and my thoughts from earlier echo in my head…

_I like Bella._

I slowly pull back and she looks at me in confusion.

"What's wrong?" she asks softly, her pale forehead creasing.

I debate whether or not I should say something as I brush a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

"Nothing," I murmur, wondering if I can just push these feelings aside.

_Ha! Yeah right, Cullen. _

She smiles again, lowering her mouth back to mine.

Though we did have an amazing time in the tree-house the other night, I still want her and judging by the heat from between her legs, she wants me too.

_But can I still want her but only this way?_

I pull away again and open my mouth to speak but Bella starts kissing down my neck, making me gasp and get painfully harder.

"Bella, I…" I start to say but she suddenly lifts my shirt and moves her lips down my chest, nipping and sucking. "Oh God…"

I totally lose it and fucking throw her down on the bed, attacking every inch of skin with my lips. She tugs my shirt over my head and tosses it on the floor and I do the same with hers. She grins and drags me down to her again, wrapping her legs around my middle. Without thinking, I press myself into her and she whimpers softly.

"Geez, I want you so bad," she mumbles, biting her lip and closing her eyes.

"Just like this?" I tease, kissing her neck and pressing my body tightly against hers. She shakes her head frantically. "Oh, you want more?"

"Fuck yes," she breathes, scratching her nails lightly down my back. I shiver involuntarily and start to pull away. "Where the fuck do you think you're going?"

"Don't we need… uh, protection?" I ask and she rolls her eyes. I chuckle quietly and extract myself from her.

The second I'm not touching her anymore, I go back to my earlier dilemma. I slowly get a condom out of my bedside table, thinking hard about my situation. My heart starts beating wildly, my breath coming in short bursts as I contemplate just fucking telling her.

Tell her what, exactly, I have no fucking clue.

A small pair of hands grabs my shoulders and spins me around. Bella is sitting up on her knees on my bed, her eyes full of concern.

"Are you rethinking us?" she asks warily, placing her hands lightly on my forearms and staring into my eyes. I look back into her pools of rich chocolate, my worries leaving me instantly.

"N-no, it's not that," I stutter.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asks, her lips hovering over mine.

"Maybe… maybe later?" I say stupidly. She smiles and nods, pressing her lips to mine and pulling me back on top of her.

Before I know it, we've slipped out of our pants and I've unhooked her bra. Breathing heavily, I sheathe myself and lay on top of her. Her smile is breathtaking as she runs her hands lazily through my hair.

"What are you waiting for?" she asks quietly; I smile and touch my tip to her wet folds, teasing gently. Her eyes flutter closed. "Shit… Please, Edward…"

_Oh, God… that begging…_

I growl and bury myself in her, making her gasp and then sigh.

Much like the other night in the tree-house, we can't help but move fast. I try to start slow but then she wraps her long, silky legs around my middle again, forcing me deeper and meeting me thrust for thrust. I let out a throaty groan and kiss her again. She turns her head slightly to deepen it, moaning softly as I explore her mouth.

"Oh, God, Bella," I gasp, pressing my nose into her neck and inhaling deeply. "I can't… I can't hold back…"

"Oh fuck, please don't," she whimpers.

_Fucking hell, the begging!_

I drive myself faster and her legs tighten around me. We're both panting heavily, in desperate need of oxygen, but instead crash our lips together again as we both come hard and fast.

I collapse in a heap, my head resting on her shoulder. She twitches a little as I pull myself out of her and I can't help but give a small chuckle.

"Shut up, fucker," she chides, giving my arm a playful smack. She reaches down and gathers up our clothes, throwing mine at my face.

"Can I… can I ask you something," I ask as I pull my pants on.

"Um… sure," she says and I try not to stare as she refastens her bra. Luckily, she pulls her shirt on quickly after.

"What does your mom keep asking you about?"

Bella freezes in the act of pulling her sweats back on. Without looking at me, she slowly pulls them all the way on and reaches for her sweatshirt. I put my hand on hers, the electricity pulsing instantly, and she sighs.

"I don't want to talk about it," she says forcefully.

My heart aches for her and in that moment, I know that I have to tell her. She may not feel the same way and this may not be the most opportune moment to reveal myself to her, but I need her to know that I'm more than just a friend or a fuck buddy. I want to be there for her and though I'm fucking terrified this will drive her away, I just have to do it.

I wrap my hand around her wrist and pull her onto the bed with me. She sits but keeps her eyes averted. Maybe that'll make this easier…

_Who are you fucking kidding, Cullen? This shit will not be easy._

I take a deep breath and keep my eyes on my own lap as well.

"Bella, I need to tell you something, I just… I mean, I don't know how, I just don't want to fuck up what we have but I can't handle it anymore and if I don't say something—"

"God, Edward, don't have a fucking aneurism," she chuckles, putting her hand on mine. I look up to find her eyes dancing with mirth. "Just spit it out."

"I like you," I blurt out; her hand briefly tightens on mine and her mouth pops open in surprise.

"You… you do?" she all but whispers.

"Um… yeah, I do," I mumble, my breathing picking up nervously.

"In what… in what way?"

I breathe a sigh in relief, glad that she's at least not flat out rejecting my ass.

"I'm not really sure… But definitely in more than a friend way."

"But… why?"

"Many, many reasons, angel," I say with a soft chuckle; she blushes and looks down shyly.

"So what does that mean… for us?" she asks, her ponytail swinging forward to block her face. I brush it behind her shoulder and see that her eyes are closed.

"I hope it means more for us," I say, feeling slightly braver by her reaction. It's clear she feels something as well. What, I'm not sure. But now that I've started confessing shit, I can't take it back.

"Are you saying you want to be my…" she says softly, her eyes slowly flitting up to mine.

"I think the word you're looking for is boyfriend," I say, giving that lopsided smile I know she loves—and sure enough her cheeks redden again and her teeth press into her lower lip.

"I think I might like that," she says quietly.

"I think I would too," I say, grinning broadly.

"So…" she says slowly, chewing on her lip so much I start to worry that she'll break the fucking skin.

"So?" I ask, pulling her plump lip out from between her teeth. I resist the urge to kiss the shit out of those lips for not rejecting me.

"Does this mean we like… I dunno, hold hands and shit?" she asks with a grimace.

"Wait, what?" I say, giving a small chuckle. "Bella, have you had a boyfriend before?"

"Um, James was, I guess," she says, shifting uncomfortably.

"And how was your relationship with him?" I ask warily.

"Basically like an exclusive fuck buddy," she shrugs. "In public, we told people we were dating and he, you know… put his arm around me sometimes. He said boyfriends had to do that shit."

"Well, I would like to put my arm around you," I say, doing just that and pulling her close; she melts easily into my side. "But only because I would want to—and hopefully you would too."

"I guess that doesn't sound too bad," she mumbles, laying her head on my shoulder. Her willingness to get intimate already boosts my confidence.

"And holding hands is nice," I whisper, lacing my fingers with hers. "And maybe, if you're okay with it…"

I lift our intertwined fingers and place my finger on her chin, prompting her to look up at me. She raises her wide, chocolate eyes to me and I'm surprised to see that they're shimmering a little. I quickly—but tenderly—place a soft, chaste kiss on her waiting mouth. She closes her eyes, as though waiting for more to happen, so I pull back and drop my hand.

"How do you do that?" she asks quietly, her brow furrowing again.

"What's that?" I ask, giving a lopsided grin.

"Be so nice to me when I'm such a hard-ass?" she grimaces and I laugh.

"Don't you notice how easily you drop that attitude around me?" I ask and she nods, her frown deepening. "Looks like you just like me right back."

She blushes slightly and looks down. Her grip on my hand tightens.

"You never take my shit," she admits softly. "You let me be whoever the fuck I want to be and apparently you like me anyways."

"True, maybe this is a bad idea," I say pensively and she shoots me a panicked look. "I'm kidding!"

"Don't fuck with me like that," she says sincerely.

"I'm sorry, angel," I say gently, once again raising our joined hands and brushing my knuckles against her soft cheek. She leans into it, closing her eyes again.

"It's too fucking easy to be with you," she whispers sadly.

"Does it scare you?" I ask hesitantly. She opens her eyes slowly; they're swimming with tears now.

"Yes," she says shortly, gritting her teeth.

"Then this is right," I say, running my thumb along her jawline.

"Don't fucking break my heart," she says fiercely and I try to hold back my huge grin but a small snicker breaks through.

"Duly noted, angel," I say, my heart soaring.

_My angel, now…_

* * *

><p>We lay back on my bed, me on my back with her cradled to my side. Her hand rests lightly on my chest but it clenches my own fingers in a kind of death grip, almost as though she's worried if she lets go, I'll leave.<p>

_Not gonna fucking happen._

I reach my free hand out and touch my iPod sitting it the dock and scroll through the songs quickly to find the exact one I want. The Dave Matthew's Band isn't my usual kind of shit but this one song is fucking amazing.

A haunting guitar strumming fills the room and I softly sing the lyrics in Bella's ear, putting emphasis on my nickname for her:

_Hard for you I've fallen _

_But you can't break my fall _

_I'm broken don't break me _

_When I hit the ground  
>Some devil some angel <em>

_Has got me to the bones _

_You said always and forever _

_Now I believe you baby _

_You said always and forever _

_Is such a long and lonely time_

I feel Bella sigh in my arms and dip my head to kiss her soft, mahogany hair.

_Damn, angel... How do you do this to me? You're seriously more the devil than anything..._

"Edward?" she breathes and I think I hear a quiet sniffle.

"Yes?" I murmur into her silky tendrils, stroking my fingers through the strands.

"I think… I really do like you too."

* * *

><p>The next morning, I'm at a loss of what to do. I wake up quickly and fucking bounce around the house like Alice after five cups of coffee. I can't help it—last night is still ringing clear in my mind. I almost worry it was a dream but Alice has been giving me so much shit all morning that it couldn't be…<p>

After listening to a few sappy songs and talking about nothing really, Bella still didn't release my hand. I made sure to do everything I could think of to reassure her that this is what I want—I kiss her forehead, her temple, every finger on the hand wrapped so tightly around mine. I constantly touch her with the hand attached to the arm holding her close to me—I stroke her hair, her arm, her back.

It's nearly eleven when Alice bangs on the bedroom door, making Bella shoot up out of bed.

"Edward! I swear to God, if Bella is not in there you better have a damn good reason for not allowing me my beauty rest the night before my History midterm!"

"She knew I was here?" Bella asked fearfully, her eyes glued to the still locked door.

"Well, yeah," I told her sheepishly. "She was the one to admit my feelings for you."

"And she knew this shit how?" Bella said, turning to me with a raised brow.

"Apparently it's been written all over my face for fuck knows how long," I said with a chuckle.

"Huh… Guess I was too fucking dense to notice," she said softly, biting her lip. "I'm… I'm sorry about that."

"Doesn't matter now, angel," I shrugged and she gave me a shy smile.

"Maybe she'll finally tell Emmett about her and Jasper now," she said almost excitedly, as though it'd be nice to not be the only ones being outted. I couldn't help but laugh.

"It's a possibility," I said with a nod.

Bella jumped again as Alice began pounding again. After a quick glance from me, she sighed and went to the door, flinging it open to find Alice, with her hand still poised in the air.

"Oh, shit, you _are_ here," Alice gasped, her eyes growing wide.

"Got a problem with that?" Bella asked bravely, crossing her arms over her chest.

My nervous gaze flitted swiftly between Bella's glare and Alice's contemplation. I had no fucking clue what either of them was thinking. Finally, after what felt like hours, Alice shrugged and looked over at me.

"You're lucky, brother twin," she said and Bella relaxed visibly. "I was seriously about to beat your ass if you used your locked door time to do something dirty on your own."

"Aw, Ali," I groaned, pinching the bridge of my nose; I knew she was okay with all this but shit, did she have to say things like that in front of my…girlfriend?

_Huh. Felt only kinda weird to just think that shit._

"How do you know I didn't catch him at it?" Bella asked and I looked up to see her and Alice smirking at each other. She caught me frowning at her and just rolled her eyes. "I better go."

"Everyone is asleep if you just want to slip out the front," Alice suggested, jerking her thumb over her shoulder. Bella nodded and started to leave.

"Hey, wait!" I called out, leaping from my bed.

Bella turned to me in confusion and Alice quickly skipped to her bed and started making herself busy with her pile of papers.

"Can't leave without a goodnight kiss," I told Bella, cupping her face gently with both hands.

"Oh," she breathed, her brow smoothing.

I leaned forward and brushed my lips softly against hers, nipping a little at the corners; she shivered in response. I pulled back slightly and spoke against her lips.

"Goodnight, angel," I whispered.

"G-goodnight, Edward," she said shakily…

I brought myself out of my recollections in time to hear Alice screaming at me from the bottom of the stairs as I brushed my teeth.

"Goddammit, Edward! I will _not_ be late for this test! Teacher said if we are, he's knocking off a point for every minute lost!"

"Alright!" I shout back, spitting out my mouthful of toothpaste.

As I'm walking down the hall, I hear a loud _bang_ from out front, followed by a muffled yelling sound. I rush to my window and see Bella's truck, still in the driveway, with copious amounts of gray smoke billowing out from under the hood.

"Oh, shit," I mumble, grabbing my jacket and racing down the stairs.

"About fucking time," Alice grumbles at me from beside the front door. To reflect her foul mood, she's dressed head to toe in black—black skirt, black tights, black lace tank top, black eyeshadow, and draped over her arm is a black leather jacket.

"Shut the fuck up and warm up the car," I snap back, tossing her the keys.

I jog across the yard to find Bella kicking her truck door—thankfully, in boots—and I reach her just in time to catch her arm as she pulls back to fucking deck the beast.

"Hold on there," I say, tugging her back and spinning her around.

She turns her gloriously angry face to me but when she sees it's me, she seems to relax a little.

"Stupid fucking truck," she sputters at me, huffing angrily. "Goddamn piece of shit just fucking blew up on me!"

"I can see that," I say patiently. "Why don't you just hitch a ride with your _boyfriend_ ?"

"My... oh right," she says, glancing back at her truck and sighing.

"Are you having some doubts?" I ask her, trying to keep the sadness out of my voice.

_Oh please, don't let me fucking lose her when I just got her..._

"What? Shit, no!" she says quickly; I grin widely. "I just wasn't sure what you wanted to do... You know, when we're in public."

"Didn't we discuss this last night?" I ask with a chuckle, snaking my arms around her waist.

"Yeah, I guess we did," she says softly, looking down at my arms and back up at me. Her cheeks are slightly flushed.

"You're a little confused and frustrated today," I tell her, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. I notice that though her eyes are ringed in their usual black, the lines don't look as carefully drawn and her eyes are a little bloodshot.

"I slept for shit last night," she grimaces.

"Wanna talk about it?"

Behind us, Alice honks the horn fucking long and loud. Bella shakes her head and gestures towards the waiting Volvo.

"No time—Princess Alice awaits," she jokes, chuckling a little.

"Oh God, you have no idea," I groan, letting go of her waist in exchange for her hand. She pulls a little to reach into the bed of her truck for her backpack—which I automatically snatch and sling over my own shoulder. She seems slightly surprised but accepts it and we both hurry to my driveway.

Even before we climb in, Alice is nagging away at lightning speed but stops short when we're down the driveway. Her eyes widen as she spots Jasper leaning against his parked car.

"What the fuck is he doing here?" Alice whispers in disbelief.

"Only one way to find out," I tell her gently. She frowns but jumps out of the car.

Bella and I watch in fascination as Alice darts to Jasper's side, glancing over her shoulder the whole way, looking suspicious as hell. She stands just out of reach of his waiting arms, and though we can't hear what she's saying, she clearly looks angry.

"Do you think she's giving him shit for coming here?" Bella asks quietly.

"Fuck yeah," I say, shaking my head. "She's still terrified of what will happen if Emmett finds out."

"But Jasper is tired of it, isn't he?" Bella sighs and I nod.

We see Jasper argue back—though not as heatedly—but ends it quickly by scooping her up in a tight embrace and kissing the shit out of her. At first, Alice fights back; Jasper doesn't let her and she soon melts into him.

"That's certainly a way to resolve things," I laugh, putting the car back into gear.

"It also reminds me," Bella says shyly. "Did you wanna... you know... kiss good morning?"

She sounds so unsure and fucking adorable and I right away feel like shit for not remembering.

"Fuck, angel, I didn't forget," I say quickly, reaching over to place my hand under her chin. I pull her face towards mine and give her a slow, soft kiss—careful not to deepen it, though I want to. "Good morning."

"Morning," she mumbles, a small smile on her lips. Her eyes dart down to my mouth and back up again.

"You want more, don't you?" I ask, smiling crookedly. She bites her lip and I shake my head. "It'll make us late."

"I don't fucking care," she says firmly.

I sigh and give in—but only slightly. Though her tongue snakes out to trail along my bottom lip, I don't let her in. We both groan in frustration and sit back. She crosses her arms across her chest and sticks out her lip in a pout.

"Believe me, I know," I tell her.

* * *

><p>It only takes half the day for the rude stares to stop as Bella and I hold hands around the school. I make sure not to push her too far and keep kisses few and far between. At lunch, she turns my earlier question around and asks if I'm the one having doubts.<p>

"Just don't want to push my luck," I shrug. "You're not used to PDA."

She nods in understanding but as we're packing up to leave, Jessica and Lauren walk by our table, sneering at Bella. Her expression hardens and she grabs my hand, tugging me up from the table forcefully. I try to ask what she's doing but she just shakes her head and marches off to Biology with me in tow.

The two girls are standing outside Biology, leaning against the lockers and babbling away. When they catch sight of us, they stop and glare. Bella pretends not to notice and spins around so that she's standing in front of me.

Before I can react, Bella stands up on her tiptoes and grips the front of my shirt. She pulls my lips down to hers and kisses hard, tilting her head to push her tongue into my mouth. I suppress a groan and wrap my arms around her waist, lifting her a little so she doesn't have to do all the work. She moans throatily, making me instantly harden. She notices and presses her body into me tighter.

We hear Jessica and Lauren gasp; Bella pulls back and looks at them in mock surprise.

"Oh shit, we have an audience," she says, turning around in my arms and placing her hands on mine. "My bad."

Their eyes narrow but Bella just snickers and leads us into the class.

"What the fuck was that?" I ask her hoarsely as we sit down at our lab table; I'm in such shock over what happened that I almost miss the stool.

"Those bitches were giving me shit before, telling me that someone like you wouldn't give someone like me the time of day," she says smugly, digging in her backpack for a pencil. "Said if you talked to me at all, it was out of fucking pity."

"When did they say that?" I ask, irrationally angry. My hands ball up into fists on the table top and Bella looks at me quickly.

"Hey, it's no big deal," she tells me, putting her hand on mine and attempting to loosen it. When I refuse, she sighs and relents. "Just after the dance. Please, Edward..."

_God, the begging... Apparently it works outside of fucking, too._

I nod and she gives me a small smile. I lift her hand to kiss it, trying to reassure her that I really am okay.

Though I'm not sure that I am.

* * *

><p>That night, my parents insist that we have a family dinner because it'd been so long since we had and they wanted to celebrate Alice's first successfully completed midterm. Though she said she thinks she did okay, I can tell she's still fucking stressed about the other six she has coming up the following week. I had had one that day, too, but it was only in P.E. As long as we showed, we passed.<p>

Before bed, Bella and I talk on the phone. We both consider sneaking into the tree-house but after ten minutes of talking, she sounds half asleep already. After a sleepy good night, we both go to bed.

The next morning, my phone is ringing early. I hear Alice grumbling from under her covers across the room and reach out blindly to pick up the annoyance.

"Hello?" I say blearily into the phone; Alice throws a pillow across the room at my face.

"Hey, kid, sorry to wake you up," Charlie says from the other line. "A storm is blowing in soon and I was wondering if you could come over and help me fix a few shingles on the roof."

"Yeah, sure," I say, sitting up slowly and rubbing my eyes. "Just give me a half hour."

The second I hang up, another pillow come flying at me, nearly knocking me over.

"Who the fuck is calling so fucking early?" Alice says in a muffled voice from under her pile of pillows and blankets. "If it was Bella, I'll kick her ass."

"Why the fuck would she be up this early?" I gripe, throwing the pillows back. "It was Charlie. He needs help with shingling."

"Does he know about you two?" Alice asks, peeking out from under her comforter.

"Shit, no he doesn't," I say with a frown, pulling out a clean shirt. "Well... better get it over with today, then."

"Just... just like that?" Alice asks, sitting up in bed. Her face is pale and puffy from sleep and her hair is smashed down on one side. I can't help but snicker at the sight.

"Yes, just like that," I tell her, shaking my head and pulling my shirt on. "It's not so bad telling the truth, you know. Makes you feel lighter, happier..."

Alice sticks her tongue out at me and buries herself back under the covers. I chuckle and head downstairs, grabbing an apple and leaving a note for mom on my way out.

I let myself into the Swan house, calling out on my way to the kitchen. I find Charlie at the table, reading the newspaper and drinking a cup of coffee.

On my way over, I had been feeling somewhat confident but at the sight of Charlie sitting there, looking almost angry as he reads the paper, my bravado fades. My hands start to sweat and I can feel the babbling already beginning to form in the back of my dry throat.

"Hey, son," Charlie says, glancing up from his reading. "Would you like some coffee?"

"Uh, sure Charlie, sounds good," I say in a voice that sounds too high to be mine. I quietly clear my throat and get myself a cup. My hands are shaking as I fill it so I stop halfway, worried I'll spill it. I take a tentative sip and turn towards him. "Hey, Charlie, I was wondering something."

"Damn politicians, why do they have to be such idiots?" he says loudly, making me jump. He hears my gasp and sets the paper down. "Oh, sorry, kid. I shouldn't read the news around company. Tends to scare people."

He laughs and I manage a small smile and nod. He takes a drink of coffee and turns in his chair to face me.

"So, you were saying?" he prompts.

"Uh, yeah... I was just curious, if uh, you know... you know Bella, right?" I say nervously, running my hand through my hair.

"My daughter Bella?" Charlie says, smirking a little. "Yes, yes I do."

"Oh right," I answer stupidly, wanting to smack myself in the fucking forehead. "I wanted to know, I mean... would it be okay if I... if we... if we dated?"

Charlie stares at me impassively and I'm able to count to thirty before I start to really fucking panic. My hands are so sweaty that I can feel the coffee mug slipping; my whole body is shaking and feels hot and I vaguely wonder if looks really can kill. There was no way to tell by his expression whether he was angry, happy, surprised, ready to beat my fucking ass for even thinking of his daughter in that way...

"Sure," he says with a shrug, picking up his paper.

"Sure?" I say uneasily

"Yeah, you're a good kid," he says with another shrug. "Maybe you can keep her out of trouble. And if you can handle her, then good for you."

"Uh, right... thanks," I say, carefully setting my coffee down; it rattles a little on the counter.

"You can go wake her up, if you want," Charlie says, gesturing to the stairs.

"I can? Oh...okay," I say, slowly walking out of the kitchen. I glance back over my shoulder at him and see that he hasn't moved so I feel it's safe to keep going and sprint up the stairs.

Bella's room is warm and dim and I smile at the lump of girl hidden under the covers. I inhale deeply, enjoying her smell surrounding me in this small space. Everything in this room is all her.

I tiptoe over to the bed and sit on the edge. Lifting the blanket back, I come across my angel. Her face is scrubbed clean and her hair is splayed out over the pillow, with one strand draped across her parted lips. It flutters with each breath she takes. I carefully brush it away from her face and she sighs in her sleep, her lips forming a small smile.

Gently, I press my lips to hers. I don't linger long, worrying it'll freak her out. When I pull back, her eyes flutter open. She blinks once, twice and then squeezes her eyes shut and rubs them hard with her fingertips.

"Are you really fucking here?" she asks, her voice thick with sleep.

"Yes," I tell her, laughing quietly. "Are you surprised?"

"Duh," she says; she stops rubbing her eyes but keeps her hands on her cheeks. "I was actually just dreaming about you."

"Is that right?" I ask, brushing her hair back from her forehead. She nods and even through her hands I can see her cheeks redden. "I hope it was a good dream."

"I was dreaming that we told my dad and that he went ape-shit," she says with a frown. "So we ran away together."

I couldn't help the loud laugh that burst forth.

"It's not funny," she whines, turning her face into her pillow. "It was scary as shit."

"Oh, angel," I say, laying down next to her so we're facing each other. "I was laughing because I thought I was the only one to dream of running away together. You gotta admit, that shit sounds kinda nice sometimes."

"Yeah," she sighs, revealing just one eye to me. "How are you in here right now anyway? Isn't my dad home."

"He told me to come up here," I tell her and her forehead crinkles.

"Why the fuck would he do that?" she asks slowly.

"Because I asked if we could date," I say and she gasps. "And he said yes."

"Seriously?" she asks, sitting up slowly. I sit up with her and nod. "Well, fuck. That was easy. I was up all night, debating how to tell him."

"Taken care of, angel," I assure her and lean forward to place a quick kiss on her lips.

"Well... thanks, I guess," she says with a laugh.

We lean back onto the bed together with my arm around her and the covers pulled up. I lay my cheek on the top of her head and sigh contently. I could do this everyday.

"I could do this shit every morning," Bella murmurs, making me chuckle.

"My thoughts exactly..."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**

**I do hope you all enjoyed these knuckle-heads finally getting together. It wasn't originally planned this early in the story but I couldn't torture them (or you!) any longer. **

**Truth: The Dave Matthews Band really isn't my kind of music, but this song is just so beautiful. It's on the soundtrack to Season One of House MD, one of my fave shows (seriously, what is it about British men, whether they speak with an American or an English accent?) and I really wanted to use it. Don't look too far into the lyrics, though. We all know that Edward is head over heels for Bella, his angel. **

**Question: Is there a band that you really don't like but they have that one song that you just love? Also, would anyone like me to create a playlist for this story? I can if you'd like! Just gotta let me know...**


	11. Chapter 11: No Sound But The Wind

**Alright, so before you decide to hate me, please know that I have not forgotten you. My job got so stressful over the past couple months that I actually had to search for a new one. Thankfully, I found one and though it's only part time, that should be a good thing for my writing, right? I'd like to think so! So I cranked the majority of this chapter out in one afternoon and I hope you like it. Don't forget, you can review! Heh heh...**

**Disclaimer: I own the hopes of being forgiven after giving you these guys—that I don't own—much later than I meant to.**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 11:No Sound But The Wind<span>

"People are staring."

"No, they're not."

"They are!"

"No they're... oh, well, that guy is."

"I knew this was a bad idea..."

"Relax, you look great."

"Shut up, you have to say that, you're my fucking boyfriend."

"No, I _want_ to say it."

"I hate you."

Edward chuckles, knowing I'm no serious. Though he does know I'm fucking pissed.

While getting ready for school, he decided it would be funny or cute or some shit to hide my eyeliner and eye shadow. And, of course, I was running late since we stayed up late the night before, watching movies. I barely had enough time to put on mascara before he was dragging me out the door, pointing out that we had more midterms to get through. I was already stressed enough, now he had to add to that stress by taking me out of my comfort zone with the lack of make-up to hide behind.

"You're beautiful, angel," he whispers in my ear as we walk across the parking lot. "You don't need to cover all that up."

"I just feel so... wrong, right now," I confess quietly, ducking my head to hide my face.

"Hey," he says softly, lifting my chin with one finger. I look into his deep green eyes and fucking melt at that crooked smile on his face. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. But I really do love the way you look without make-up."

"I thought you had no idea what happened to the eyeliner," I joke, smirking a little. He chuckles and looks away, running his hand through his hair.

"You're right—no fucking clue," he says, straight-faced. I roll my eyes and keep walking, linking my fingers with his.

Holding tightly to his hand, Edward and I make out way across campus to our first period. Though I can feel all the fucking eyes on me, I try to ignore it, acting like I look the same as usual.

Outside the door to first period, Edward pulls me aside, placing his hands on my hips.

"Please don't worry about what everyone else thinks, angel," he pleads, his forehead creased with worry.

"I'll try," I tell him, making him smile. Of course, my stupid new girly-ness kicks in and I smile back like a fucking moron.

"Good," he murmurs, brushing my hair back over my ear and leaning forward.

He kisses me soft and slow, sucking on my bottom lip gently. I keep my hands firmly on his chest, willing myself not to latch them into his hair the way I want to. I know if I do that shit that this simple kiss will go way beyond what it should in public.

I go into class a little lightheaded and sit down quickly. I pull out my sketchbook and flip to a blank page. Hunching over it, I'm about to draw when a hand appears on my desk. I look up to see fucking Mike Newton leaning over me.

"Hey, Bella," he smiles.

_Fucking hell, how many damn polo shirts does this guy own?_

"What do you want, Mike?" I snap, leaning back and glaring at him.

"Just wanted to say hi," he shrugs. "Oh and to tell you you look... nice today."

"Nice?" I ask skeptically.

_Fucking generic complement from a fucking generic dumbass._

"Yeah, nice," he repeats with a nod.

"Uh, thanks," I say shortly, suppressing the urge to roll my eyes.

He grins stupidly and walks away, glancing at me over his shoulder. When his back is turned, I end up rolling my eyes anyways.

Surprisingly, Mike's comment was the only one I got all day. A few more people stare and whisper throughout the morning but by lunch, I'm old news.

"Who's the new girl?" Emmett asks with a wink as he sits down at the table Edward and I are already settled at.

"Ha ha, very funny," Edward says dryly, snagging one of my apple slices and popping into his mouth but I can see a smirk playing on his lips.

Jasper and Alice walk in then, holding hands like usual. I can see that fucking dopey-eyed look on her face but as soon as she catches sight of Emmett, she pretends like she's bored or some shit. I can tell that Edward notices too by the way he sighs heavily.

"When are they just going to fucking admit to it?" he whispers in my ear. I shiver slightly at the warmth of his breath on my cheek and just shrug.

"This shit _is _getting old," I mumble back. Emmett doesn't even glance up at the pair as he greets them when they sit at our table. I shoot Alice a pointed look; she shakes her head quickly and drops Jasper's hand. I can see the look of hurt and disappointment on his face and grimace.

This shit is fucking killing him.

"Please tell me again why they're doing this?" Edward breathes.

"The idea was that they would introduce the idea of the two of them slowly, get Emmett used to the idea. After this shit got old—just like it is now—they were going to start acting more attracted to each other so that Emmett would just tell them to fucking date already because they were obviously into each other. That last part was Alice's idea. She wants his fucking blessing, or some shit."

"Damn," Edward groans, sitting back. "Fucking Alice."

He pinches the bridge of his nose and I feel bad for putting more stress on him. I set my hand on his leg and when he looks up at me, I give him a small smile. He grips my hand and grins crookedly back. My face flushes and my inner thighs clench slightly.

_Damn, that look gets me every time._

"Shit, I forgot my wallet," Jasper murmurs from across the table, searching his pockets.

"I'll spot ya," Edward says quickly, standing up and gesturing to him.

Glancing over my shoulder, I can see the two whispering hurriedly on their way towards the lunch line. I look over at Emmett who's engrossed in a car magazine while he absentmindedly twirls a lock of Rosalie's hair between his fingers. Rosalie herself is looking between Alice and myself while Alice stares at a page of notes on the table, her eyes not even moving. She looks fucking miserable.

From behind me, there's a loud _bang_. I spin around in my seat to find Jasper climbing onto a table, a chair on it's side beside it, and a determined look on his face.

"May I have everyone's attention!" he yells pointlessly—every fucking eye in the place is on him as he stands atop the table, breathing heavily. "I am Jasper Whitlock and I am in love with Alice Cullen. In fucking love! And I don't care who the hell knows it!"

Laughing, I look back at Alice who's eyes are wide and face is pale white.

"What?" Emmett mumbles, looking from Jasper—who's now climbing down from the table and headed our way—and a stunned Alice. "I thought… I thought it was all fucking fake."

"Whether it is or not, I have fallen hard for this girl," Jasper breathes, standing in front of Alice who turns slightly in her chair. "Beat me to a fucking pulp man, I don't care. Cuz it won't change a damn thing."

With that, Jasper grabs Alice's hands, pulls her to her feet and plants one right on her. Alice stands limp for a moment before throwing her arms around his neck and kissing back with all she's got.

The cafeteria bursts into applause and cheers with a few wolf-whistles thrown in. I see Edward standing smugly by the lunch line, his arms crossed over his chest. I shake my head with a smirk and look back to Emmett, who looks to Rosalie. Rose shrugs and gives him a look that clearly states he has no say in this shit. He shrugs too and shouts over the noise.

"Get a fucking room!"

* * *

><p>Surprisingly, Jasper only gets one afternoon of detention for his little stunt, and only because of his use of profanity. The whole school is talking about him for the rest of the day and it feels nice to have that attention <em>not<em> on me for a change.

Alice couldn't be fucking happier and though she confessed to me after lunch that she's waiting for the shit to hit the fan eventually, she's not going to worry about it for now.

"So what did you say to Jasper?" I ask Edward as he drives me home that afternoon.

"That if he really wants things to change that he needs to take matters into his own hands," Edward shrugs. "The whole table thing was his idea. He figured that if he wanted to do things right, he needed to do things big."

"Thanks," I tell him and he looks at me quizzically so I clarify. "Thanks for not trying any kind of shit like that to declare your undying love for me."

I stop short, my eyes widening. I hadn't meant to use that word, it just slipped out.

_Do I think he loves me?_

_Fuck… do I love him? Is that why I said it?_

My breathing picks up and I stare out the window, waiting for him to say something—anything—but he's silent for way too fucking long. I chance a peek at him and see him looking out the front windshield, a contemplative look on his face. My thumbnail goes right to my lips and he looks over at me, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, quit it," he chides, pulling my hand from my mouth and holding it tightly. "No reason to be fucking nervous."

"But I didn't mean to say that," I tell him quickly. "It just... I mean, I was just saying..."

"Shit, you sound like me now," he chuckles. "Love is a strong word, angel. It shouldn't be said lightly. Too many people just throw that shit around like it means nothing."

"I don't want it to mean nothing," I whisper, staring down at our joined hands.

"I don't either," he says, lifting our hands to kiss the back of mine.

We get back to the house and Edward walks me to the door. Just as my hand reaches for the knob, it opens and Charlie steps out.

"Oh, hey kids," he says, leaving the door open behind him.

"I thought you were off tonight," I comment, noticing he's dressed in his uniform. He had fucking insisted that we have a kind of family dinner thing now that Edward and I were dating. He wanted to get to know Edward as my boyfriend. That shit didn't make much sense to me. He knew Edward longer than I did.

"One of the guys called in sick, so I gotta cover," Charlie says, shrugging. "Sorry, kid, I know you were looking forward to tonight."

"Uh, yeah I was," I say, trying to sound sincere but inside I'm doing a fucking happy dance.

"Well, there's money on the table, if you guys are hungry," he says as he makes his way out to his cruiser. "I'll be home late but I'd like you home by ten, Edward."

Charlie raises an eyebrow at Edward as he opens his car door. Edward gives a mock salute and I roll my eyes. Charlie laughs, waves goodbye, and drives away.

"Well, now what?" I ask, stepping inside and heading towards the kitchen. "What do you wanna eat? I'm kind of tired of fucking pizza but I doubt we have anything—"

I stop short when I feel a hand grab me and spin me around. I slam into Edward's chest, a soft _oof_ emanating from both of us. He smiles just before pressing his lips to mine. As usual, my hands go to his fucking soft hair, my fingers tugging to try to get him closer. He pulls back, panting for air.

"Are you really worried about dinner right now?" he asks breathlessly and I grin.

"Not anymore."

Our mouths connect again and I run my hands down the back of his neck and onto his chest, pushing slightly. We start to stumble backwards until he reaches down and grabs my ass. I willingly jump into his arms, my legs wrapping easily around his waist.

He carries me to the couch, lowering us slowly so that he's hovering over me. My feet never unhook from around him and he chuckles as he pulls back.

"If you want to do anything more than grind, you'll have to release me," he says gruffly.

"In a minute," I insist, pushing his face against mine.

Edward pushes himself tighter against me, one hand on either side of my head, holding himself up. I hold him tighter and he bends his elbows, leaning closer. I can feel his arms shake and loosen my hold.

"This isn't working," I say, pushing him up. Before he can ask, I shove him into a sitting position and sit across him, my arms going around his neck.

"You do love to straddle me, don't you," he smiles, his hands running up the back of my shirt, fingertips lightly trailing along my heated skin.

"Don't you?" I counter, grinding myself against him. He groans loudly, his eyes fluttering shut. I chuckle. "I'd say you do."

He smiles and opens his eyes. I hear my phone ringing and he looks towards my discarded backpack on the floor.

"Do you need to answer that?" he says regretfully. "It could be Charlie."

"Don't you hear the fucking ominous ringtone?" I ask playfully. "It's just my damn mom."

I don't let him question me anymore and return to kissing the shit out of him. He quickly forgets about getting his answers and removes my shirt, throwing it across the room. I do the same to him and then stop.

"Fuck, a condom," I say, gasping for air. I don't want to fucking stop now.

Edward turns to the side and smiles. His backpack is sitting right next to us. He reaches into the front pouch, opens a zippered compartment and pulls out a condom, smiling triumphantly. I narrow my eyes at him and he shrugs.

"Figured it's good to be prepared," he says smoothly. I roll my eyes and get busy with our pants.

Not even ten seconds later and we're both naked, his dick sheathed in latex. I straddle him again and lower myself onto him, moaning as he slowly fills me.

"Fuck," he gasps, leaning his head against my chest. "Please tell me why we haven't fucked like this yet?"

I let out a quiet giggle and press myself down further, biting my lip.

"Shit, good question," I mumble.

Edward places his hands on my waist and lifts me up. Slowly, he lets me back down and though it feels good, it's not enough.

"Are you afraid to hurt me or some shit?" I ask him with a sly smile.

"Maybe a little," he admits, his green eyes full of apprehension.

"Don't you remember our first time?" I breathe, leaning down and nipping at his ear.

"Hell yeah," he says with a shudder.

"Were you easy on me then?" I ask, kissing down his neck as I lift myself up again. This time, I hold myself there, his tip just barely inside of me.

"The hell I was," he growls, gripping my hips tightly and slamming me back down.

I groan in pleasurable pain, allowing him to pick me up again, this time aiding in bringing myself down hard. He grunts loudly, doing it again; I kiss my way up his neck and across his face, trying to reassure him that this shit feels fucking good.

"God, Edward," I moan, kissing him hard and then biting down on his lower lip. He moans loudly and I let go just in time for him to start picking up speed.

I ignore the burn in my legs that start as I slam myself onto him. His fingers dig into my skin but I don't fucking care. I can't keep my mouth away from his or my fingers out of his hair. I pull hard, feeling like it's not fucking enough.

Suddenly, he stops, but only for a split second. In one swift movement, he flips us over so that he's on top of me again. One of his feet is on the floor and the other is bent on the other side of me. I slowly lift my leg that's by the edge of the couch and place it against his shoulder. It pulls a bit but it feels good.

Edward's eyes flash dark as he looks at my leg. He places soft, sweet kisses along the skin of my calf as he gently pushes in and out of me. I moan and tilt my head back.

"Why the hell did you slow down?" I complain, my hands lying limply by my head.

"I was about to fucking come," he says softly. I tilt my head back down and sigh; he chuckles. "Do you need more?"

"What the fuck do you think?" I ask darkly.

"Alright, hold on," he says, grinning.

I lift my hands and grip the arm rest behind my head. Edward grips my raised ankle with one hand and my hip with the other as he starts pushing even harder. I gasp as I feel his base hitting my clit.

"Oh, fuck!" I yell, making him go faster.

Over and over again he hits it, growling quietly and grasping me so tightly that I feel his nails bite into my skin.

It only makes it feel even fucking better.

"Oh, God, angel," he groans, throwing his head back. I pull on the couch so hard that I feel a few fibers ripping.

"Don't stop, please, don't you fucking stop," I beg, making him moan loudly.

"Damn it, you're begging," he moans, looking down at me with hooded eyes.

"Damn right I am," I gasp, panting so hard I feel like my lungs are about to burst.

And then it hits. My toes curl and my fingers clench tighter as I cry out, the high so good that I get instantly dizzy. Edward slows down as he comes but puts his fingers against my clit to rub out the rest of my orgasm.

When we're both satisfied, he pulls out and sets my leg down gently. I wince at the feeling and then grab him, lying him down with me. Kissing my forehead, he wraps his arms tightly around me.

When we've both caught our breath, I let out a light laugh.

"Who the fuck taught you how to do that?" I ask rhetorically, not really wanting to know the answer.

"I've never done that shit before," he says with a laugh of his own.

"Shit, you're fucking good at it," I tell him, running my hands through his hair.

"It's easy to do shit like that with the girl you love," he says.

Time freezes. My breath catches in my throat and I feel him stiffen against me. But then he sits up and looks at me seriously, his jade eyes blazing.

"Do you fucking mean that?" I ask in disbelief.

"Yes, I do," he answers easily, his jaw clenching. He relaxes slightly and shakes his head. "I understand if you don't want to say it back. I didn't really mean to say it, it just slipped out, just like you did before... God, I know I'm a fucking idiot but if I'm honest, I've felt like this for weeks, maybe even since I first met you. Shit, I don't know, I just—"

"I love you too," I blurt out, surprising even myself.

"Really?" he asks slowly, his eyes lighting up.

"I... I think I do," I answer honestly, not even sure where this shit is coming from.

He smiles broadly and presses his lips to mine, kissing hungrily, his hands cupping my face. I giggle against his lips. He laces his fingers into my hair and his tongue reaches out to slip into my mouth. I can feel myself getting hot again and push him back.

"Shit, we just fucked, Edward," I tell him with a smile. "Do you really want to do it again?"

"Don't you?" he asks playfully.

"Well, we do have the house to ourselves," I say in mock contemplation.

"Well, then," he says, mirroring my tone. "What the hell are we waiting for? We have until ten."

I grin and shove his chest so that he's sitting up.

"Alright but in the bed this time," I tell him, scooping up my clothes and heading towards the stairs. I look at him slyly over my shoulder. "More room to try new things."

* * *

><p>"What the hell are you grinning about over there?"<p>

"Nothing, just... thinking."

It's the end of the week and we're all about to take the last of our midterms. Alice has been a total bitch all week, even more so today, so today's lunch has been pretty quiet. When Emmett tried to tell a joke he had heard that day, Alice practically threw her fucking book at his head. She claimed he was disturbing her studying with his hyena laughter.

"About what?" she asks dismissively, flipping through her notes.

"Just something that happened the other day," Edward says, turning to me and winking. I pinch his leg under the table and he jerks away, grimacing in pain.

"Well, keep your thoughts to yourself if you know what's best for you," she barks at him.

"Yes, _please_ do," I mumble through gritted teeth.

He snickers under his breath but doesn't say anymore.

We had gotten to fuck two more times that night before it was time for Edward to go home—something that he kept reminiscing about at the most inappropriate times. I had tried to convince him to stay but he insisted on leaving, saying that if for some reason Charlie came home, there was no way in hell he wanted to be caught naked in bed with me.

Good thing my boyfriend was so fucking smart. Charlie had come home, saying he had forgotten something. Edward had luckily just left.

"Phone is ringing, angel," Edward tells me, pulling it out of my backpack and handing it to me.

It buzzes in my hand and I frown at the name flashing on the screen. I hit the damn mute button and throw it back in my bag. Edward sighs, raising an eyebrow at me. I shrug.

"Just mom," I tell him but he continues to glare so I continue under my breath, "We don't want to bother Alice."

"Damn straight," Alice says from across the table.

My phone beeps three times, indicating I have a voicemail. I keep eating my lunch, ignoring it, but Edward picks it up again and holds it out for me. I try not to look but he clears his throat loudly.

"Fine! I'll check it," I snap, snatching it out of his hand.

Alice shoots me a murderous glare so as I press the buttons to call my voicemail, I stand and head towards the door. Edward starts to follow.

"I'm just going to the bathroom, I promise I'll listen to what she has to say," I tell him. He frowns but nods and sits back down.

I walk down to the nearest bathroom, listening to my mom's too fucking cheerful voice.

_Hi honey! Its mom. I know you've been busy with school and I really didn't want to do this in a message but it's almost spring break so I had no choice. _

_Phil and I are really missing you so I got you a plane ticket yesterday morning. Don't worry, I talked to Dad about it and we've worked it all out. Oh, and he also told me about your new boyfriend. I've heard so much about Edward over the years, and it sounds like he's really a good influence for you! I wish that we could invite him, too, but Phil pointed out that he has his own family to spend time with._

_Anyhoo, I can't wait to see you, sweetie, and though I know you found someone there, we'd really like you to reconsider moving back with us. It just isn't the same without you. _

_Big kisses! Love you!_

I find myself standing in front of the bathroom, my use of it long forgotten. I still have my phone up to my ear though the message has ended.

My breath is coming out in shallow bursts, my hands are fucking shaking and I can't see for shit—everything is all blurry. I lower my phone slowly, pressing the end button and slipping it into my pocket. I feel like I'm having one of those fucking out of body experiences. I know I should be freezing outside but I feel nothing, not the wind on my face, not the ground beneath my feet, not even the shove against my shoulder.

"Oops, sorry! Didn't see you there."

I look up blankly to see Jessica and Lauren standing in front of me, smirking.

"Aw, what's wrong Bella," Lauren simpers, giving a fake ass pout. "Did Edward break up with you? I don't blame him."

"Excuse me?" I say, my surroundings snapping back into place.

"What?" she says innocently. "I'm sure you gave him some good fuckings but that doesn't mean he actually likes you."

"Say that again, bitch," I say menacingly, taking a step forward.

"We know that's how it all started," Jessica says coolly, moving forward as well. "Besides, it's written all over you. All your good for is a good... fuck."

My face grows blazing hot, not only her words but my mom's fucking betrayal causing my anger to burst forth. My hands clench involuntarily, shaking at my sides. I want to beat the fucking shit out of this bitch so badly...

"What's wrong?" Jessica whispers. "Do you want to hit me?"

"She wouldn't dare," Lauren scoffs.

"Like hell I won't," I manage to grunt out.

I pull my arm back and swing, feeling my fist make contact with Jessica's weak chin. She cries out in pain, turning her wide eyes to me and then lunging, her hands clawing at my face. Lauren squeals and jumps forward but when one of my flailing fists hits her sharp cheek bone, she backs away quickly.

Jessica fights me like a fucking girl, grabbing my hair and scratching me, but I go all out, punching and kicking at every part of this piece of shit. I hear Lauren screaming over our grunts and yells but I don't fucking care. Let her get someone. I wish whoever comes luck in trying to pry my hands away from this spiteful bitch.

I hear the sound of running footsteps and through my rage, I see the vaguely see a crowd surrounding us. They chant the word _fight_ over and over, clapping and cheering like this is a fucking sport they're watching.

"Bella, no!" someone shouts but I ignore it.

All of sudden, I'm ripped away from Jessica and I only stop moving when I recognize the voice of the person gripping me.

"Angel, stop, please stop," Edward says in my ear and I freeze, my hands still raised in front of me. His concerned face appears in front of me as he brushes my hair off my face. "What the hell is going on?"

My breathing slows as I glare at him and I glance over to where Jessica is huddled on the ground, Lauren standing nearby, holding her cheek and Mike hovering over her, whispering to her as he rubs her back. I can hear Jessica sobbing loudly but when Mike turns to shake his head at me, she peers through her fingers covering her face and smirks at me.

Fucking smirks.

_That fucking bitch._

I lunge for her again, but Edward holds me fast. I see her genuinely flinch away and laugh bitterly.

"That's what I thought," I spit at her.

"Bella!" Edward cries. "What the fuck—"

"What is going on here?" The voice of the principal cuts through the crowd, which quickly disperses. He looks from Edward and I to Mike, Jessica and Lauren. "Office. Now."

* * *

><p>Sitting in the principal's office, he paces in front of the five of us, breathing hard through his nose.<p>

"Fighting, in my school," he says angrily, stopping in front of Mike who shrinks down in his chair. "What part did you have in this, Mr. Newton?"

"Nothing, sir, I just helped Jessica get away from Bella," he says shakily.

I snort, crossing my arms and staring at the floor.

_Yeah, because _she_ had no fucking part in this..._

"Something funny, Ms. Swan?" the principal asks sharply.

"Yeah, the fact that these fu—guys are acting like she had no part in this," I say, stopping myself from cursing. I'm in enough trouble as it is. Might want to keep my "fucks" to a minimum.

"And what part did they have in this?" he asks me, striding over to tower over me.

"They provoked me!" I cry, pointing in their direction. Jessica actually has the nerve to cower and let out a whimper, making me try to jump out out of my chair. Edward places a hand on my arm, the electricity calming me instantly and I reluctantly sit back down.

"That's enough," the principal says sternly, looking from Edward's odd exchange with me to Jessica and Lauren. Lauren doesn't look so bad, only a bruise on her cheek, but Jessica has a black eye, a bloody nose, a bruise on her chin and a fat lip.

She looks better all fucked up anyways.

The door opens and the receptionist pokes her head in, smiling as though she can't feel the fucking tension in the room.

"Lauren and Jessica's parents are here," she says cheerfully.

"Thank you," he says politely. "We'll be suspending both of them for fighting. Three days apiece, which means today and two days after school returns from spring break."

The girls gape at him and try to object but one look from the principal and they hang their heads and leave quietly. I try not to smile triumphantly but a smirk breaks through.

Until Charlie walks in.

"Ah, Chief Swan, good to see you," the principal greets him, shaking hands.

"Well, I would say the same if it wasn't for this," Charlie sighs, looking down at me. "What's the punishment."

"Suspension, three days," he says, shaking his head. "She's been doing well. I didn't believe her mother when she called ahead about her priors."

_Priors? What am I, a fucking convict?_

I sigh angrily and Edward rubs my arm soothingly.

"Alright, let's go Bella," Charlie says, and I stand up, taking Edward's hand. "Say goodbye now, he can ride home by himself."

I frown at my dad and Edward pulls me into a hug.

"Don't worry, angel, it'll be okay," he whispers in my ear. "Tree-house after lights out?"

I laugh a little at his prison term and nod. He kisses me chastely and I follow Charlie out, ignoring the principal when he tries to say goodbye.

The ride home in the cruiser is quiet except for the rain until Charlie suddenly snaps.

"What the hell is going on, Bella?" he demands.

"They started it!" I shout back, crossing my arms.

"I thought you were done with this behavior," he says, stopping a bit too forcefully at the stop sign we pull up to.

"I'm not a child, Charlie," I complain.

"Then stop acting like one," he says, still not pulling away from the stop. "You won't answer or return your mother's calls and you won't discuss it with me. I've had enough of it. If you're not going to handle the matter yourself, then I am. You leave tomorrow for Florida."

"Like hell I am!" I yell and we both turn to face each other, our identical brown eyes boring into each other. "You two didn't even ask me if I wanted to go!"

"That doesn't matter now because you're going," he says, jabbing a finger at me. "_You_ got yourself suspended so you must suffer the consequences! If staying here is what you _want_ to do for spring break then that is what you are _not _going to get! Once you're allowed back in school, you'll be allowed back in my house. End of discussion!"

He starts driving again and all the blood drains from my face. My hands start to shiver and moisture immediately pool in my eyes.

"Char—dad, please," I beg in a quiet voice.

"Bella... no," he says sadly, looking over at me. His face softens. "I'm sorry, kid. That's my decision."

I reach shakily into my backpack and pull out my iPod. I wait for Charlie to stop me but thankfully he doesn't. I need something else to focus on so that I don't fucking break down right in front of him.

I hit the shuffle button and the slow, melancholy piano chords of The Editors begins, my favorite song, No Sound But The Wind playing softly in my ears.

_We can never go home_

_We no longer have one_

_I'll help you carry the load_

_I'll carry you in my arms..._

Ten days without being in Edward's arms. Ten days of not being in the first place I've been able to call home in years.

Ten days of not feeling the least bit safe.

The tears flow freely down my cheeks but I press my lips into a hard line to keep myself from making a sound.

_Help me to carry the fire_

_We will keep it alight together_

_Help me to carry the fire_

_It will light our way forever..._

Who will help me when I need it? Who will stop _him_ this time if he decides to pick up where we left off? I don't know if I'm brave enough to do what I did again.

_If I say shut your eyes_

_If I say look away_

_Bury your face in my shoulder..._

God, I don't know how I'll be without Edward for so long...

_Our blood is cold and we're alone, love_

_But I'm alone with you..._

"I'm sorry, Bella," Charlie says again, putting his hand on my shoulder.

We're at the house. Charlie turns off the engine, waits for me to move and then gets out, closing the door softly behind him. The only sound I hear is the heavy rain and the howling wind.

How fucking fitting.

I squeeze my eyes shut and bury my face in my hands, thinking only of Edward how much I'll fucking miss him.

Of how much I'll fucking need him, more than ever.

_Help me to carry the fire_

_It will light our way forever..._

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**

**I know I ended on a bit of a sad note and for that I'm sorry. I thought about stopping it about halfway through, just to end on a * ahem* high note but it just didn't feel right. Much too short of a chapter... Speaking of high, I didn't mean to make my lemony moment so... uh... you know... But it just kind of happened that way. Hmm maybe it'll help you all to forgive me. * crosses fingers* **

**Truth: I have never actually gotten in a fight before. I'd probably fight kind of like Jessica. Sad, I know.**

**Question: Have you ever gotten in a real, fists out fight? Also... Do you forgive me? Please picture my big puppy dog eyes right now and say yes...**


	12. Chapter 12: Make Damn Sure

**Lookie, lookie! Another chapter! I done good now, huh? Well, you have my newest readers to thank for that! I asked a new friend, Shadowed by Passion, to read this and she became, to say the least, obsessed! Some of you may be reading her own work right now and if she sent you here, thank you for giving me a chance! She recc'd this (a first for me!) in her own work and so did ttharman AND turned my story onto bnjwl! Needless to say, my inbox is exploding with reviews, alerts and adds! And I can't stop using exclamation points! I'm just soooo excited! They really believe in my work (man, I sound sappy now... but it's true) and think that it hasn't gotten enough love. Cue blush, right about now! And though I'm going crazy with all the attention I'm getting, I still appreciate it. **

**Disclaimer: I own a newfound love for SbP but not the real thing.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 12: Make Damn Sure<p>

I watch Bella leave the cafeteria, her phone held up to her ear, and I want to badly to follow her. I want to know what's going on with her mom because something is up, that's for damn sure. And I need to know what.

I keep looking back over my shoulder to where she disappeared; she should be back any moment. Emmett sees my distraction and pokes me in the arm.

"Dude, what the fuck are you looking for?" he asks, cracking open his soda.

"Bella went to go listen to a voicemail from her mom," I say, still staring at the door.

"And why does that have you so sketchy right now?" he asks curiously.

"She and her mom… don't get along," I answer lamely.

"Well… why don't you just go find her?" Emmett points out. "She _is_ your fucking girlfriend after all, isn't she?"

_Some fucking boyfriend I am..._

I frown and nod before heading out in the direction I saw her go.

I stand outside the cafeteria, looking around for a flash of mahogany hair. I don't see her but then I hear raised voices.

I turn in the direction of the sound, one of which is distinctly Jessica.

_Shit, this can't be good._

I hear a scream and take off running, horrifying images of Bella lying on the ground, hurt and bleeding, on the ground as Jessica stands over her, laughing maniacally.

I should have known better.

I push through the crowd blocking the hallway and stop short.

Jessica and some brunette are wrestling on the ground, the girl pummeling every inch of her she can reach. I can't tell exactly who the girl is with her hair flying everywhere. The only reason I can tell that's Jessica is by her shrill voice screaming in pain and anger.

"Your girl has got some fire in her, doesn't she?" Mike is standing next to me and nudges my arm. I turn to him slowly and he's got this fucking huge grin on his face, like this is the most awesome shit to happen.

I look back to see a flash of purple buried deep in the brunette's hair and it dawns on me.

The girl flips her hair out of the way and I see my angel's angry face, scratches running down the length of her cheek.

"Bella, no!" I shout over the chanting crowd and race towards her. I lift her off the ground, my arms wrapped tightly around her small waist, but she keeps fighting. I whisper in her ear, "Angel, stop, please stop."

She turns her face to me and I look into her blazing eyes, trying to figure out what's going on in her head. My face creases with concern as I brush her hair out of the way.

"What the hell is going on?" I ask her.

Her breathing slows and she seems to calm under my touch, until she turns to look back at Jessica. I look too and nearly laugh at Mike's fake ass attempt at acting the hero for Jessica—who peeks out between her fingers and smirks at my girl.

Bella struggles in my arms, but I hold her tight. I want nothing more than to teach that Stanley bitch a lesson but Bella is going to be in enough trouble as it is.

"That's what I thought!" Bella yells as Jessica shrinks away.

"Bella! What the fuck—"

But I don't get a chance to ask what happened because the principal shows up.

_Oh, fucking shit, this cannot be good…_

* * *

><p>I'm fucking amazed at how few days the girls are getting for suspension. The last time a fight happened, those people got a week.<p>

I won't complain, though.

What did piss me off was my having to stay the rest of the day. I knew Alice would kill me if I skipped again, especially since she was expecting a ride home. She was pretty bummed to find out that Jasper had to make up one of his midterms after school so I promised I'd be there for her.

When the final bell rings, I'm out the door before anyone else even has a chance to stand up. I walk out into the light rain, running my hands through my hair and staring down at my phone. I had hoped that Bella would have messaged me.

_Shit, did Charlie take away her phone? It was my only contact with her, unless she went out into the tree-house. But we couldn't pull that shit every night, Charlie was bound to find out. _

_Damn it, I need to talk to her so bad, to find out what Jessica—_

"Jessica?"

"Hey, Edward."

Jessica fucking Stanley is standing by my car, her ass actually leaning against the driver's door, and she has a fucking huge ass smile on her face. The bruises from earlier are covered heavily in makeup but I can still see the ring of light purple hidden beneath the caked on layers. I feel a surge of pride for my angel.

"What the fuck?" I cry, looking around to see if a teacher is there. "You were suspended!"

"I cried to my parents and they got him to reduce my sentence," she smirks, crossing her arms tightly, under her boobs so she can smash them together and push them up.

_Yeah, not hot at all._

"Right, well, I need to get going to see my _girlfriend_," I tell her, attempting to push back to unlock the car.

"Oh, give it up, Edward," she scoffs and I look to her in confusion. "Just drop the fucking act, alright? I get it."

"Get what?" I ask suspiciously, crossing my own arms and standing at my full height.

"I get it, she was good for a fuck," she says simply, shrugging her shoulders.

"Excuse me?" I growl at her, narrowing my eyes.

_What the hell did this chick say to my angel?_

"You're not fooling anyone," she whispers, leaning forward so that I can see down her shirt. Her eyes actually dart down to her cleavage and back up to me, looking smug.

_Ugh. So damn gross._

"Explain yourself or get your ass off my car and fucking leave," I say menacingly, balling my hands into fists under my locked arms.

_God, what I wouldn't give to actually hit a fucking girl…_

"Edward, I _know_ you guys were fucking around," she says matter-of-factly. "Lauren and I saw you at the dance, found your fucking condom later and saw you in the parking lot the other day. We _know _you too were just fuck buddies or some shit."

My heart stops and I start breathing erratically.

_No… no way in hell she knows. She's bluffing…_

I look down at her arrogant face as she grins.

_But how would she know about the condom we dropped…_

"What the fuck… did you… do?" I manage to spit out as I attempt to keep quiet but really I want to scream and rage at her.

"Me? Nothing," she says, shrugging again. "I just told her I knew so that she could get on with her druggie life, leaving you wide open for me."

She trails her fingers up across my arms, making me shiver unpleasantly and draw away, dropping my arms.

"Jessica, you need to get very, very far away from me right now," I snarl, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Oh, come on, Edward," she purrs. "I see the way you look at me. You can do way better than Bella Swan—and that better is right in front of you."

I feel her hand on me again but only for a split second. In the time it takes me to open my eyes, it's smacked away from me and I see Alice standing between us.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll leave or I'll tell everyone what you and Mike did at Lauren's party," Alice sneers, cocking her spikey head to the side. "Understood?"

Jessica doesn't say anything; she frowns at us, flips her hair over her shoulder and stomps away to her car.

"Thanks, sister twin," I sigh, going to unlock the door but Alice snatches the keys from me.

"I drive," she insists, giving me a hard look. I nod and walk over to the passenger side.

"What the hell is going on with Bella?" she asks as we speed towards home.

"I have no idea, Ali," I groan, rubbing my face with both hands. "It's something to do with her mom but she won't tell me."

"She's fucking lucky the principal didn't suspend her ass for a week like the last guy," she says, stopping hard at a stop sign. "I thought she was getting better. I mean, she wasn't hanging with that Jacob Black and she seemed pretty with it. I mean, what the fuck—"

"Alice!" I scream and she stops her rant to stare at me, wide-eyed. "I get it, okay? I don't know what the fuck is going on and it's killing me that I don't. But I plan to find out tonight, okay?"

"Alright, alright," she says defensively. "I'm just… concerned, is all."

"Yeah, me too," I say sadly.

We pull up to the house and I automatically look to Bella's. The cruiser is parked out front and I don't see any sign of Bella or Charlie. With a heavy sigh, I follow Alice inside.

I go to my room and start pacing, checking my phone seriously every fucking minute. No messages come in and after an hour, I give up and flop down on the bed. I start randomly scrolling through the numbers, trying not to linger on Bella's and then gasp when I come across a contact I didn't know I still had.

I sit up and lean against the wall, glancing once more out towards Bella's house; the living room light is still on, meaning Charlie is still up. I look back to my phone, highlight the name and press call.

I instantly get nervous.

_Fuck, will she remember me? _

_Of course, you idiot, question is, will she answer your call?_

_She may not even know it's me; she might not have my number anymore._

_But if she answers and figures out whom it is, will she be okay with that?_

I'm about to hang up with a soft voice answers.

"Edward, this is a surprise."

"Good surprise or bad?" I ask shakily.

"Always good," she says with a light laugh.

"How are you, Victoria?" I ask sincerely.

"Oh, about the same, I suppose," she says with a sigh. I can almost picture her twirling her red ringlets around her fingers. She could never stop touching that long, flaming hair or hers. "What about you? It's been so long. I wanted to visit, you know."

"Yeah, I know," I say, stretching my feet out and crossing them at the ankles. "I wish your parents would let you. We miss you out here."

"I miss you guys, too," she says sadly. "So, how is your crazy sister?"

"As crazy as ever," I say and we laugh together. "Got herself a boy."

"No way!" Victoria exclaims, her high voice getting even higher. "How did she swing that? I thought that after the rez boys, Emmett wasn't letting any guy touch her with a fucking ten foot pole!"

"It's a long story," I say, shaking my head.

"Maybe something for your _next_ call," she says, emphasizing the word. I can see her raising a crimson eyebrow at me, her bright blue eyes boring into me.

"Definitely my next call," I assure her, looking out my window yet again.

Still dark.

"I'm guessing this wasn't just a social call," Victoria says knowingly.

"I met a girl," I say shortly, figuring I'll just rip the fucking band-aid off. "And at first, she really reminded me of Tanya. She was into drugs, getting fucking wasted and hung with the rez guys—Jacob Black, to be specific. She's such a hard ass… except around me."

"Ah, that does sound a lot like my cousin," Victoria says, sighing. "I've told you a million times, Edward. You couldn't save Tanya."

"I know," I whisper, tears prickling my eyes. "I just sometimes wonder, if I could have gotten to her sooner…"

"Edward," she says softly. "No one could have saved her. I'm her damn family and I couldn't save her."

She gives a short, hard laugh and I frown.

"I still don't understand, why…" I stop and sigh again, struggling to keep the tears back now.

"She was hooked," she answers. "From the beginning, she was hooked. That guy had his claws in so deep from day one that it didn't matter what anyone did. I never did tell you but… She was addicted."

"I know she was," I say but Victoria cuts me off.

"No, Edward, I mean like fucking hardcore addicted to the shit."

My breathing quickens and my vision darkens.

_No, no fucking way… She told me… She promised…_

"But she said—"

"I know, hon, I know," Victoria says soothingly. "She told everyone that she wasn't but I could tell. A lot of those bruises were of her own doing. The drugs were driving her fucking nuts… and that's how he kept her. He wasn't her boyfriend, Edward. He was her dealer."

"The…the whole time?" I ask in disbelief. I'm barely breathing now and my hands are shaking like crazy.

"Pretty much, yeah," she sighs.

I'm fucking speechless. I can't believe it... I knew she had a problem but...

"Edward?" Victoria says in alarm. "Are you okay? Are you still there? Please, say something, anything!"

"I just... can't... believe it," I manage to whisper. "Is that why she fought so hard against me?"

"I think so, yeah," she says quietly. "She told me all the time that she knew you were in love with her... And that she wishes she could have loved you back."

"She said that?" I say, barely loud enough to hear. I sniff back the tears that sneaked out, instantly angry at myself for breaking down.

I promised myself that I would never do that over her again.

"All the time. But she couldn't give it up."

"Was she in love with... him?"

_God, please don't let her have been... What if that means that Bella..._

"No," she says firmly and I can hear her curls swish across the phone receiver as she shakes her head from side to side. "She was in love with the drugs, that's it. I promise, Edward... She really did care for you. I only wish she could have been stronger."

We're silent for a few moments and I can hear Victoria sniffling on the other end. I wipe away the tears quickly, clearing my throat and sitting up straighter.

"I'm sorry I brought all this up," I say.

"No, I'm glad you called," she assures me. "I was actually waiting a long time for it. You deserved to know, but only when you were ready."

"Yeah, I suppose so," I say with a humorless chuckle. "I'm just worried that..."

"That your girl may be in the same boat?" she finishes for me and then continues without waiting for an answer. "She's not."

"But how do you know?" I ask insistently, gripping my hair.

"Because she chose you," she says gently.

"Yeah..." I say thoughtfully, looking out the window. I see a light flare in the tree-house and my heart skips a beat. "I suppose she did."

"Listen, I gotta get going," Victoria says and I hear her shift on the other line. "I'm glad you called and I'm going to hold you to it to call again."

"I will," I say with a genuine laugh. "Thanks for... everything, Victoria. You've always been... I mean, I always thought you were... I dunno, awesome."

"Aw, there's the eloquent Edward I remember," she laughs.

"Yeah, yeah," I smile. "Talk to you later."

"You better," she replies and hangs up.

I shove my phone in my pocket and turn towards the window, more than eager to finally go see my angel.

And hopefully get some answers.

* * *

><p>I climb into the tree-house, shaking the rain from my hair. I'm all smiles until I see my angel, huddled in the corner. She's wearing sweatpants and her Steve Miller Band shirt; her hair is damp from her shower and pulled back into a messy ponytail. She doesn't look up when I come in but continues to stare at the same spot on the floor, her knees drawn up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them.<p>

"I was getting worried, angel," I say softly, sitting across from her to give her space—though that's not what I want.

"We should break up," she says bluntly, her unfocused eyes still boring into the floor.

"W-what?" I ask breathlessly, sure I didn't hear her right.

_Dammit, tell me this isn't real..._

"This isn't working," she says in a toneless voice. "We shouldn't have tried this. Fuck buddies was even too much. We should just end this now. I'm no good for you."

"Hey," I say, interrupting her rant. "Bella... What... this isn't you. What the fuck is going on? What did Jessica say to you?"

"Nothing, this is all me," she says but I see her lower lip start to tremble.

"Bella," I say sharply, leaning forward so that I'm hovering over her. "Snap out of it and fucking talk to me."

Slowly, she lifts her big brown eyes and they're ringed in red.

_Oh, fuck, she's been crying... I haven't seen her cry since..._

"Bella, angel... what did your mom say?" I ask hesitantly.

Bella bursts out sobbing, still clutching her legs. I reach my hand out and place it on her shoulder. At my touch, she lets herself go and launches herself at me, her arms wrapping around my neck as she cries uncontrollably.

"Please, tell me," I mutter, blinking back my own tears.

_God, I didn't think I'd ever see her like this... It's breaking my fucking heart._

"Just tell me... do you... do you really love me?" she asks between gasps.

"Yes, I do," I say firmly.

Taking a couple of deep breathes, she manages to stop the crying and pulls back, still clutching my now tear-stained shirt.

"My mom wants me to come to Florida," she whispers shakily.

"Wait, what?" I ask, totally confused. "What's in Florida? I thought you guys were from Arizona..."

"We are," she says slowly, her voice trembling more. "Every year, we take a trip somewhere and it was my turn to pick next and I wanted Florida. No fucking clue why I had picked there, I just did. I was trying to convince my mom of a mother/daughter trip... Yeah, that shit didn't fly with her. She insisted we go... as a family."

"So... when she kept calling, it was to ask you to come with them on the trip?" I ask, my brain slowly catching up. She nods so I continue, realization dawning quick now. "And you tried to say no... but she didn't get why."

Bella nods again, more tears leaking out. I brush them away softly, cupping her cheek in my hand.

"What has you so worried, besides him?" I ask tenderly. "Why did you want to leave me?"

"I didn't... I don't," she says, crying softly. "But I was worried... that if I didn't come back... I just didn't want you to wait for me. I'm a fuck up, Edward, I'm fucked up."

"No, angel, no," I say, pulling her close to me. I rock her gently, rubbing her back with one hand. "He's the one that's fucked up and I am _not_ leaving you. You can't make me."

"Please don't leave me," she whispers into my chest.

_I fucking love this girl... I could never leave... Not now, not ever._

I slowly let my own tears out, not even caring if she sees. I almost want her to so she knows how much I really do fucking care.

"I'm not going anywhere," I say, kissing the top of my head.

"Will you... will you stay with me tonight?" she asks sadly. "Please?"

_Oh, the fucking begging..._

"Anything for you, angel," I say sincerely.

She nods and then reaches into the pocket of her sweatpants. She pulls out her iPod, fiddles with it for a moment and then sets it on the floor next to us.

"I pick the song this time," she says, sounding a bit stronger than before.

A familiar guitar starts up, followed by a singer I know well.

A different song from Taking Back Sunday, the same band that did My Blue Heaven, starts playing and I recognize it easily.

"I take it you like this band?" I say with a chuckle.

"What can I say?" she says, sounding a bit more like herself. "The band is fucking awesome."

I laugh again and we both listen to the lyrics together, the words explaining both sides of our story.

_A long night spent with your most obvious weakness_

_You start shaking at the thought_

_You are everything I want_

_'Cause you are everything I'm not_

_And we lay, we lay together just not_

_Too close, too close_

_(How close is close enough?)_

_We lay, we lay together just not_

_Too close, too close_

Bella clutches me tighter, her whole body shaking. I keep my arms wrapped securely around her, trying to make sure she knows shes safe, just where she is.

_I just wanna break you down so badly_

_Well I trip over everything you say_

_I just wanna break you down so badly_

_In the worst way..._

"How long... do you go for?" I ask quietly, my own breath coming out in short bursts as I struggle to keep my emotions in check.

"All of Spring Break," she says softly. "Basically as soon as I'm done with my suspension I can... I can come back."

Thoughts of Jessica and what she said to me flash through my mind. Belle needs to know what she told me and I desperately want to find out what she said to her—though I know that if it's even close to the shit she told me, no wonder Bella flipped the fuck out.

I decide to wait as long as I can before I talk to her. She doesn't need that shit now.

"I'll be here waiting," I tell her, kissing her head again. "I promise."

"You better fucking be," she says unsteadily.

_I'm gonna make damn sure_

_That you can't ever leave_

_No you won't ever get too far from me_

_You won't ever get too far from me_

"I will be... because I love you," I say, pushing her back so I can look directly into her deep brown eyes. I pour every ounce of my feeling out of my own eyes, hoping she understands.

"I love you too, Edward," she whispers, pressing her lips firmly to mine.

_I'll make damn sure_

_That you can't ever leave_

_Don't you ever get too far from me_

_Don't you ever get too far from me..._

* * *

><p>I don't know how the hell Bella and I don't get caught but I managed to spend the whole night in bed with her, holding her as she cried herself into unconsciousness. It was past two in the morning when she finally fell into a fitful sleep. We agreed before we climbed under the covers that I would leave before Charlie was awake.<p>

I hated to get out of bed before she woke, worried how she would be. She promised to message me when she could. The only reason why she hadn't the day before was because she was talking herself into leaving me.

Yeah, that shit didn't work for either of us.

I'm out of her house by six-thirty and I thought about going back to sleep, but that sure as hell wasn't going to happen.

Surprisingly, Alice is awake when I tip-toe in the front door.

"And where have you been, brother twin?" she asks from her spot on the couch.

I sigh heavily and plop down next to her, nearly upsetting her bowl of cereal clutched in her hands. She makes a protesting noise but then looks right at me.

"Oh, shit, Edward, what happened?" she asks, turning off the TV. "You've been crying, I can tell."

"Thanks, Ali, really," I groan, my voice still scratchy from sleep—or rather lack of.

"Did you guys break up?" she asks, setting down her breakfast and turning towards me fully.

"She tried," I say, making Alice gasp. "But only because she figured I would leave her."

"What? Why the fuck..." Alice trails off, her smooth forehead creasing.

"She's getting sent away to go on vacation with her mom," I say flatly. "She doesn't want to go but this... is her punishment."

"Well, that doesn't sound too bad," Alice muses and I wish I could tell her why it's not okay. "But why did she try to break up with you?"  
>"She figured I'd leave her anyways," I sigh. "If for some reason she didn't come back, she didn't want me waiting for her."<p>

"Well, that's fucking bullshit," Alice says, picking up her bowl again.

"Fuck yeah," I mumble and then get a good look at my sister. "What's with the getup?"  
>Alice is dressed simply in one of my old t-shirts and torn jeans. Her hair is brushed and free of any kind of goop and her face is scrubbed clean. This, above all, is the weirdest look I've seen in years.<p>

Its so fucking... normal.

"I leave today to go camping with Jasper," she says with a little bounce. "I can't go camping in a skirt and makeup."

"I have to say, I like the look," I tell her honestly, making her blush—which is really fucking weird.

"Jasper likes it too," she mumbles, looking down into her milky cereal.

"Smart man, that guy of yours," I tell her.

"Will you be okay without me?" she asks me urgently, her eyes snapping up to mine.

"As long as you're safe and have a good time," I tell her, doing my best to give her a genuine smile. She seems to accept it and turns the TV back on.

We sit and watch a few shows together, neither of us saying much. Around eight, I help Alice gather up her camping stuff and Jasper shows up soon after. She give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek before leaving, giving a sad smile on her way out. I head back to the couch, not really watching what's on anymore.

My phone starts ringing and I leap off the couch to answer it, hoping it's Bella. I'm surprised—and a little concerned—to see it's Charlie.

"Morning, Charlie," I answer warily.

"Hey, kid," he says sadly. "Listen, I know I said I didn't want you to come by today but could you? Not for me... For Bella."

"Yeah, of course... I mean, if that's okay with you, I'm fine with coming by," I say, rambling nervously. "Is uh... everything okay?"

"Well, that was something I was hoping you could figure out for me," he says with a sigh. "She's not talking to me. I know she's upset with me for making her leave but... Oh, I told her she had to go visit with her mom, by the way."

"Oh, right," I say, pretending I didn't know but really I'm fucking pissed on the inside.

_I know exactly why she's fucking upset..._

"Yeah I just... I don't know what to do," he says hopelessly.

"I'll be by in a bit," I say, heading towards the shower.

After we hang up, I text Bella. She seems just as pissed as me at Charlie's attitude. I ask her if we can just tell him but she insists that he won't believe her.

I shower faster than I ever have, throw on the first clean clothes I can find and hurry next door. Charlie is standing on the porch, a suitcase at his feet.

"Hey, Edward," he says, shaking my hand. "Bella is just grabbing a few things. Did you want to ride to the airport with us?"

"Yeah, that'd be great," I say shortly before rushing into the house.

I find Bella at the kitchen table, iPod in front of her. She's staring at it blankly, just like she had in the tree-house last night. My heart starts to race at that look; I'm terrified of what's about to happen.

"Bella?" I say softly and her head snaps up.

Just like last night, she leaps up and throws her arms around me. I inhale her heavenly scent, desperate to memorize it exactly for while she's gone.

"I almost told him," she murmurs into my shoulder. "But I just... couldn't."

"I wish you had," I sigh, slightly frustrated.

"I just... don't think... I don't..."

She pulls back, gasping for air and wiping at her tears. Surprisingly, she's not wearing any makeup again.

"Hey, it's okay," I say soothingly, tilting her face up to look at me. She gives me a watery smile and lets me put my arm around her to lead her out the door.

"What were you doing with your iPod, anyways?" I ask curiously when we reach the porch.

"Oh, just making a playlist of all the songs you told me about," she shrugs. "And any song that reminded me of you. It's a long fucking list."

I chuckle and she actually cracks a smile.

The ride to the Port Angeles airport is silent. Charlie tries to strike up conversation but Bella stubbornly ignores him, clutching my hand tightly the whole way. When Charlie isn't looking, I lean over to kiss any part of her I can, just like I did that first night we actually decided to be together, for real.

At the airport, Bella holds me close the whole way through. Charlie walks ahead of us, carrying her bag and the closer we get to her destination, the more worked up Bella seems to get.

Unexpectedly, Charlie leaves us alone to say goodbye. Bella allows him to hug her briefly before he goes outside to wait for me.

"Everything will be okay, angel," I assure her, hold her and rocking her as I did the night before. "Text me or call me for anything—and I mean anything. If that fucker looks at you the wrong damn way, don't hesitate, please."  
>"I won't," she says, her voice void of any emotion but when she looks up at me, I can see her eyes laced with sadness and her face full of exhaustion.<p>

I kiss her deeply, ignoring all the stares around us, and she threads her fingers into my hair, returning the kiss with as much strength as she can muster. I place my hands on her cheeks, slowing the kiss down and then giving a few more innocent pecks, right on her perfect, pink lips. Her eyes are glistening with tears again and after one more soft, chaste kiss, she turns and walks away, with her head held high.

When I can't see her any longer, I rub at my eyes, willing the tears to stay in submission and go back out to Charlie. He's leaning against his cruiser, his eyes cast down.

Neither of us say anything until we're about halfway home.

"Edward, I need to ask you something," Charlie says gruffly, gripping the wheel tightly. "And I need you to answer me, honestly."

I wait for him to ask but when we sit in silence for few agonizing minutes, I finally speak up.

"What is it?" I ask, a slight shake to my voice.

"Why doesn't Bella want to go see her mother?" he asks firmly.

I grit my teeth, taking a deep breath through my nose. I have my hands resting on my knees and through the haze of anger, I feel my nails biting into my skin, through my jeans.

_What the fuck do I tell him? The truth? Some of it? All of it?  
><em>"Edward?" I hear Charlie say and I turn my head to look out the window.

_It isn't my story to tell. _

"Son, I asked you a question," Charlie says sternly.

_Damn it all to hell, I have to give him something._

"It's not her mother she doesn't want to see," I manage to get out through my teeth. "It's Phil."

"What the hell is wrong with Phil?" Charlie demands.

_So, so many things..._

"He's not... not a good father," I mutter and then, with a sigh, I elaborate. "He's not a good human being."

"Edward, what has Bella told you?" he asks in alarm.

I sigh heavily, knowing I've crossed a line but I can't take it back. He needs to know something. Anything. Charlie is a good father, he really is.

_He deserves to know..._

"I don't know a lot," I say quietly. "But I know enough to know that you should have never sent her back to the likes of him."

I turn to look at Charlie who looks back at me, his face full of fear.

_Bella, please forgive me... _

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, I hope some things have been cleared up but I couldn't reveal EVERYTHING, now could I? Please, let me know what you think! Will Edward tell everything? Won't he? Do I sound like a soap opera voiceover yet, because that's what I hear in my head!**

**Truth: I created another alter ego Facebook account and I'd love to see you there! I'll post teasers, let you know when I'm writing and when new stuff will be introduced. I also created a playlist on YouTube for this. Both links are on my profile and because I'm worried about screwing it up, I won't put it here... Sorry! I know links tend to get messed up when posted on parts of . Please, just let me know when you add me! Pretty pretty please!**

**Question: Did you ever get sent away when you got in trouble? I never did but honestly, I was too good a girl. Sorta. Maybe I just didn't really get caught... Hmm... maybe you'll never know!**

**Also... Will you add me? The answer I'm hoping for is YES!**


	13. Chapter 13: I Know You Know

**Alright, I know it took me a bit to get this out but the stupid plot bunnies keep hopping through my brain, screwing up my plans for this fic. Also, I wanted to make sure that I did this one right. I know it's kinda short but hopefully the emotions I wanted came across the way I wanted. **

**Disclaimer: I own a Kindle with a broken screen because I'm awesome like that but I do not own the Twilight gang.**

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 13: I Know You Know<span>

The plane ride felt like it took no time at all. I considered sleeping but that was ruled out quickly. Every time I shut my damn eyes he was there again and I was terrified I'd dream of him—just like I did the night before. Even Edward's protective hold on me couldn't keep them away.

When we reach Florida, I wait until the plane is completely empty before making my way slowly out.

My palms are sweating, my knees are trembling...

_How the fuck can I do this?  
><em>To waste more time, I quickly turn my phone on and text Edward, letting him know I touched down safely. It takes next to nothing for his answer to come through and though it's only a text, I can practically sense the panic in his words.

_Is he there?_

Shakily, I walk into the terminal and see my mom standing there, dressed like a hippie as always, and practically bouncing with excitement. At the sight of me, she rushes forward, squealing, with her arms stretched out.

"Bella, baby, you're here!" she cries, wrapping me into a tight hug. I look frantically over her shoulder, trying to catch a glimpse of _him_ but there's no sign.

"Hey, mom," I answer flatly, patting her on the back. "Where's... where's Phil?"

"Back at the hotel—oh honey, I'm so excited you're here! Where we're staying is so nice, there's a pool and a Jacuzzi... Oh and a book store next door! You'll love that..."

Mom rambles on and I tune here out, slightly relieved that he's not here yet.

I pull out my phone and answer Edward but before I can type more than _no_, mom practically smacks the phone out of my hand.

"Honey! I was talking to you!" she scolds. "And you're supposed to be grounded. Maybe I should take your phone during this trip."

"What? No!" I cry, sending the reply and shoving the phone in my sweatshirt pocket. "I promise, I won't text much... please? Edward is... just worried about me... I just want to, you know, reassure him."

"What's he so worried about?" she asks, putting her hands on my shoulders and looking at me in concern.

"He's just... um... it's because... of him..." I mumble stupidly, trying desperately to get the stupid fucking words out, to tell her this shit that has been eating away at me for years.

"Oh, I understand," she sighs, shaking her head. "Edward is jealous."

"What?" I breathe.

"He thinks some pretty beach boy will sweep you right up—it's natural, he'll get over it," mom laughs, leading us towards the luggage with one arm still over my shoulders.

"No, mom, it's about... it's about Phil," I say, swallowing thickly.

"What about him?" she asks, looking for my one bag on the conveyor full of suitcases. "If he's worried he won't approve, don't worry about it, he does."

"No, mom, that's not it," I start to protest but she lets out a cry of triumph as she spots my bag and snatches it up.

"Here we are!" she trills, linking her arm with mine and carrying my suitcase with the other hand. "Now, let's go check out that beach!"

And I have no choice but to let her lead me out into the humid heat.

* * *

><p>"Bella, are you okay? I haven't heard from you in hours!"<p>

Edward's frantic voice begins the second he answers the phone.

"I'm sorry, Edward, I tried to text you," I whisper into the receiver, hoping no one can hear me over the sound of the shower. "As soon as I got here, mom dragged me to the fucking beach like it was the best damn thing in the world."

"Where are you now?" he asks, sounding slightly better.

"Hiding in the bathroom of the hotel," I say, clattering around the room as though I'm getting ready to shower. "I said I wanted to shower off the smell of airplane."

Edward gives a light chuckle but then continues seriously.

"And... him?" he asks quietly.

"Out at the pool," I tell him, slowly sitting down on the closed toilet seat. "I tried to tell mom about him."

"And?" he presses.

"She didn't even try to listen," I huff. "She kept interrupting with all this stupid shit, not even waiting to hear what I had to say."

"Well... you'll just have to keep trying," he insists but then hesitates. "Bella, I... I need to tell you something. Just please don't be mad at me."

"What?" I ask wearily, leaning my head back and closing my eyes.

"I sort of... eluded to the fact that... something was not right... with Phil... to... to Charlie."

"Aw, fuck, Edward, why did you do that?" I moan, eyes wide as I try to keep my voice down. Though I'm fucking pissed with him, I don't want mom to hear.

"I didn't tell him anything in particular!" he says quickly. "I just told him that this wasn't a good idea and that I was worried about you and that Phil was _not_ a good person. I think he believed me, he really seemed to, but when he pressed for details, I told him it was your story to tell, but only when you were ready—"

"Shit, Edward, calm down!" I say, laughing involuntarily. I hear him take a slow, unsteady breath. "I'm not mad."

"You're not?" he asks uncertainly.

"Well, only a little," I admit. "Maybe I should have just let you tell him to begin with... But you're right; I should be the one to do it."

"He needs to know, angel," he implores.

"I know," I sigh, pressing my fingertips onto my closed lids. "I don't want to tell him over the phone though. And... I want to try to handle this, on my own."

"Like you did the last time?" he asks with a laugh.

"Hey, that shit worked," I say, chuckling a bit myself. "And it brought me to you."

"That it did," he says, sighing. "I miss you, angel."

"I miss you, too," I say, feeling my eyes fill with tears. "Listen, I better go. I really do want to shower. But I promise to message you soon."

"Real soon," he clarifies.

"Real soon," I repeat.

After my shower—where I spend the whole time letting tears fall silently—I dress simply in jeans and a t-shirt and brush my hair back into a ponytail. I only add enough makeup to cover up my puffy, red eyes and stare at myself in the mirror.

Hopefully, looking more put together will make it seem like I've changed.

I consider taking out my nose ring, too, but it's one of Edward's favorite things so I leave it.

_Don't want to be changing myself too much._

Taking a deep breath, I open the door a crack. I can already hear Phil laughing with my mom and steel myself to face the man that has made my life a living hell for years.

I walk out confidently, not wanting to show any kind of weakness.

Sitting on the large bed is mom, still wearing her long dress from earlier but with her hair pinned up and her shoes kicked off. Next to her is Phil, that same stupid-ass baseball cap on his head, and wearing swim trunks and a tank top.

"Hey, sweetie," he says cheerfully, grinning at me. I do my best not to shudder.

_Fucking pervert._

"Hey," I answer shortly, turning to mom. "What's for dinner? I'm starving."

"Phil found this great place that makes good veggie burgers," she says happily, actually clapping her hands together like a little fucking kid.

It used to make me happy seeing her this carefree but now it just bugs the shit out of me.

_If only you knew the fucking truth mom..._

"Sure," I say and put a fake smile on my face.

"Wasn't it sweet of Phil to remember you're a vegetarian?" Mom coos, stroking Phil's neck.

_More like trying to get on my fucking good side. Gross._

"Oh, it's no big deal," Phil says, waving his hand. "Just want to keep our girl happy."

"Let's get going," I say, ignoring them.

_Better get me in public before I start throwing lamps again._

* * *

><p>The next few days work about the same—mom tries to show me a good time, Phil tries to butter me up and I just do my best not to go fucking crazy and texting Edward every chance I get. At night, I usually manage a few minutes talking to him over the phone on my way to the lobby to get a hot chocolate before bed.<p>

At first, I thought we were all going to be sleeping in the same room—an idea that nearly had me hyperventilating in the bathroom when I realized it. But mom ended up knocking on the door and telling me that Phil was heading to his room for the night and that we'd have the huge bed to ourselves. My fingers had been shaking over my phone, trying to calm down enough to call Edward without totally freaking him out.

A couple days later, I convince mom and Phil that I want to take a nap and get them to go off on their own. They're barely out the door when my phone rings.

It's Edward.

I feel the first real smile light my face all day as I answer it.

"Hey, Edward," I say happily.

"Bella? It's your dad," Charlie answer, wiping the smile off my face.

"Oh, hey," I answer in a small voice. "What's up?"

"Just checking in," he says evasively.

"Dad, just spit it out," I sigh.

"I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry," he says gruffly. "I should have listened to you when you said you didn't want to come out here. Even if you didn't tell me the reason."

"Oh. It's okay," I mumble, sitting down on the bed.

"No, it's not," he says assertively. "I'm your father and I should be there for you, no matter what. I should have known there was a damn good reason why you didn't want to talk to your mom."

"There, was but..." I stop short, unsure of how to continue.

_How the hell do you drop this shit on people?_

"Just tell me, are you having a good time?" he asks sadly.

"Um, well, I guess," I say, shrugging as I look around at the fucking fancy hotel room I'm in. "I mean, it's not that bad. Just wish I was at home with you guys."

"Home?" Charlie echoes and then laughs. "You think of this as your home?"

"Yes," I say defensively. "Why are you laughing at me?"

"Bella, you just made me so happy," he says through his laughter. "I was sure you were miserable here with me. I know you have Edward now but, as a dad, I was worried I was going about this all wrong."

"No, dad, you're fine," I say with a smile. "It actually took you sending me here to realize how much I love living there... with you."

"It sounds so bad when you put it that way," he sighs. "I did send you away, didn't I?"

"Hey, mom did it first," I point out. "But it turned out just fine."

"You really are okay?" he asks again.

"For now, yeah," I say softly.

"Edward told me that... there's something not right about Phil," Charlie says slowly. "Is there anything I should know?"

"Well... his past actions... are not... cool," I say lamely. "But what's past is past. I just hope that it doesn't repeat itself."

"Just let me know if you need me, okay kid?"

"Sure, dad, I will," I promise. "Mind if I talk to Edward real quick?"

"Oh, actually he doesn't know I called you," he admits. "He forgot his phone inside when he went out to rake the leaves. He wanted you to come to me about all this. I had a feeling that you were still mad at me and wouldn't answer my calls so..."

Charlie sounds so ashamed that I just let him off the hook.

"No big deal," I tell him honestly. "And I'm not mad... at least, not anymore."

"Okay, well... I'll talk to you later, Bells."

"Later, dad."

I hang up, actually feeling a bit less stressed about the whole situation. It's nice to know that more than one person actually has my damn back for once.

* * *

><p>By the fifth day in Florida, we've pretty much exhausted everything there is to do in the area and mom actually suggests going back to Arizona for the rest of my break. I try to hint that, since I've been behaving or whatever, that they should let me go back home, to Forks.<p>

Yeah, it turns out my mom is more of a dumbass than I remembered and didn't catch on.

I try to remain calm about going back to my old home where all the shit went down and made sure I could talk to Edward when I was somewhat composed. I could tell he was a bit concerned, but he hid it well.

I got lucky again on the trip to Arizona and my seat was by the window and next to mom—though didn't shut the fuck up until I pretended to be asleep.

Before I pull that off, though, Phil speaks up and keeps going on and on about how great it was to have me back and how much he missed me and shit. I just smile and nod like a fucking idiot.

"Really, Bella," mom agrees. "We love having you back with us."

"I hope you know that you're room is always there for you, if you want to come back," Phil says, placing his hand on mom's arm and smiling at me.

"Sure, I know," I lie, plugging my ear-buds into my ears and cranking up the new Taking Back Sunday song I downloaded.

_Well, I'll wait till you listen  
>I won't say a word<br>To follow your instincts  
>Just never worked for me<br>You're silent but strong, (yeah, I'm playing that card)  
>And you're noticing nothing again<em>

Now I'm lying on the table  
>With everything you said<br>Keep that in mind the way that it felt  
>When the most I could do was to just blame myself...<p>

No, this shit is not my fault. It's not my fault that I hate my mom for not caring enough to figure out what really happened, it's not my fault that Phil is a perverted asshole that my clueless mother decided to marry...

I stare out the window, crossing my arms across my chest and doing my best to calm my anger. Through my loud music, I can still hear them laughing together and discreetly turn up the volume.

_I know you know everything_

_I know you didn't mean it_

_I know you didn't mean it_

_Remember more than you'd like to forget..._

And I shouldn't be mad at Charlie anymore for making me leave. He didn't know... But Phil did. He had to have known there was a possibility that I told someone.

Or did he not know?

_So, we're talking forever and you almost feel better_

_But, better's no excuse for tonight_

_You see, it's never bad enough_

_To just leave or give up_

_But, it's never good enough to feel right..._

Out of the corner of my eye, I glance over at mom. Her head is resting on Phil's shoulder, her fingers tracing patterns on his arm. I turn just a bit more to see him glance my way and wink.

Fucking wink.

And smirk.

Like the jerk he is.

_Holy fucking hell... He knows I didn't tell anyone._

_Now I'm lying on the table with everything you said_

_It will all catch up eventually_

_Well, it caught up and honestly_

_The weight of my decisions were impossible to hold_

_But they were never yours..._

* * *

><p>The house was exactly as I remembered, except for the fact that the glass table that I had dreamed I fell into was replaced by a shiny, wooden coffee table. I feel a shiver run through my spine at the memory and quickly head towards my old bedroom.<p>

Mom actually did clean her shit up to make room for me, though there are a few paintings in the corner. I throw my bag down on the bed to examine them.

They're all pretty generic and look like something a fucking preschooler did. I look through the stack, trying to figure out if this one is a flower or a tree or a person… I have damn clue what this shit is supposed to be.

_And this is what's been keeping my mom so fucking busy?_

I shake my head and turn around to find her standing in my doorway, fucking beaming at me.

"Do you like them?" she asks, gesturing at her art.

"Yeah, they're great," I say in a bland voice and pretend to admire them again.

"I hope so," she says happily. "I actually just got a call from a local gallery that wants to display them! Isn't that wonderful?"

"That's… great," I say, sounding like a broken record.

"Problem is… I need to go set them up today," she says slowly, trying to judge my response. "And the friend that got me the spot wants to go out for a celebratory drink..."

"What are you trying to ask, mom?" I snap, losing my patience. Instead of complaining about my bad attitude, she continues in an earnest voice.

"Honey, I know we just got here, but would you be mad if I stayed out tonight?" she pleads, clasping her fucking hands in front of her like she's begging.

"Sure, whatever," I say automatically, shrugging my shoulders. After giving me a quick hug, she bolts from the room, blowing kisses at me.

After seeing mom off, Phil claims to have some bills to take care of and locks himself in the office. Mom seems completely unfazed by this and points out that he does it all the time.

_I don't even want to think what kind of shit this guy gets up to in there._

The second she leaves, I hurry out the back door, desperate to get some time to myself. I text Edward to see if he's busy and it takes a while for him to get back to tell me he's working on my truck.

I feel tears prickle the corner of my eyes at the thought of him doing something so sweet.

_Damn, how did such a nice guy become interested in a fuck up like me?_

I spend the rest of the day, wandering the town and going to my old haunts. I pick up an iced coffee at the café I used to spend a lot of time at, browse the old book store and even see a movie. I have no idea what the movie was about but that shit was better than sitting around at home. Even when I lived there, I spent every fucking minute I could _not_ being there.

When it gets dark, I spend what little money I have on me to get some dinner and take my time eating. On my walk home, I scroll through my iPod, trying not to listen to too many sad songs that remind me of Edward.

When I get home, mom's car is still gone and all the lights are off. I walk in cautiously, flipping on lights as I go. Everything is quiet.

Too fucking quiet.

Before I can think about it any longer, I race for my room, shutting the door behind me. I pull out my phone and call Edward.

"Hey, angel, sorry I wasn't around much today," he says, making my whole body feel lighter. "You spent the day out of the house though?"

"Yeah, there was no way in hell I'd spend any more time than necessary with that fucker," I say, stretching out on my bed on my back.

"I don't blame you," Edward chuckles. "So… Nothing yet?"

"Except for the creepy-ass look he gave me on the plane, no," I grumble, remembering that wink with distaste.

"What? You didn't tell me about that!" Edward exclaims and I hear something being knocked over on his end of the line.

"I'm sorry, I forgot," I admit honestly."Shit, Edward… Nothing came of it and I left the house almost as soon as we got here."

"I meant it when I said I want to know if anything else happens," he says angrily, breathing heavily.

"Edward…please…"

He sighs and lets out a quiet laugh.

"You and that damn pleading," he mumbles.

"I know what you like," I tease, imagining the way he's probably pinching the bridge of his nose in agitation. He lets out a snort and I smile. "So, you've been at my place a lot lately."

"What can I say?" he says. "I miss you, angel. At least here, I feel closer to you than I would if I were anywhere else."

"I was thinking…" I say slowly, biting my lip.

"Hmm?" he says thoughtfully.

"I'm thinking I will tell Charlie, about Phil," I say in a rush. "And I mean all of it."

"Seriously?" he asks in disbelief. "What made you change your mind?"

"I'm tired of being scared shitless about all this," I say with a huff. "And I don't mean just about what happened to me. I don't want him to fuck around with anyone else—another girl or my mom…"

I trail off, imagining what sort of thing he could do to someone who wouldn't fight back the way I did.

_No. No one should go through that shit._

"They say it helps to talk about it," Edward says quietly.

"Yeah, it probably would," I mutter. "I mean, just telling you about him made me feel better."

"I could tell," he says with a chuckle. "It actually feels pretty good to be the one that cracked the fake badass cover you were putting up."

"Oh, shut up," I joke, shaking my head. "You're lucky I love you, you know, otherwise I would totally kick your ass."

"I'm lucky you love me anyways."

"True. Maybe I should kick your ass anyways," I threaten. He just laughs.

Suddenly, my door bursts open. I sit up with a start to see Phil standing in the doorway, eyes blazing, hat slightly crooked. His blonde hair is looking crazy beneath the cap and his shirt is only half untucked from his shorts.

"What the hell, Phil?" I shout, utterly terrified.

"Phil is there?" Edward cries.

"Where the fuck have you been?" Phil demands and begins to slowly stride into my room.

"I've been out," I say shortly.

"Bella… what's going on?" Edward says, sounding alarmed.

"Out walking the streets," Phil leers, giving a maniacal laugh. "Whoring around… It's what you do best."

"Bella, what is he saying to you?" Edward growls, hearing every word being said as Phil leans over me, his dull blue eyes alight with malice.

"Shut the fuck up," I spit out, sliding sideways so that I can make a break for the door the second I can. "_You're_ the one that's been fucking around with a _minor_ for years."

"Oh, I know you liked it," he snarls, baring his teeth at me.

"You've got a fucked up mind, you know that?" I say, ignoring Edward's pleading voice in my ear as I continue to slide off the bed. "How many other little helpless girls have you brought into your shit? Huh?"

"Ha! Like you were helpless before," he says with a short laugh. "No, you were a fighter. But I can fix that…"

I dart for the door, my phone still clutched to my ear. Phil's arms snake around my waist before I make it across the room and I scream bloody fucking murder. That only makes him tug harder so I reach around and hit him in the skull with the fist holding my phone. He grunts in pain but lifts me easily off the floor, tossing me back onto my bed. My phone flies out of my hand and smacks into the wall, breaking into a million pieces.

I lunge off the bed, knowing it's pointless, but I have to fucking try. Phil is right there, grabbing my arms and throwing me to the floor, where my head smacks into the hardwood.

My vision grows fuzzy and dark; I blink frantically, trying to clear my head. I can see the shape of Phil leaning over me.

"You're grounded, sweetie," he whispers to me. "You're not to leave this room until I say so."

I cover my head with my arms, fully expecting him to lash out at me but instead, I hear him leave. The door slams shut and I hear the sound of a lock being turned.

_The fuck…? My door doesn't have a lock._

I lay on the floor, arms over my face, listening intently, my eyes still opening and closing quickly. The room spins a little but after a few minutes, I feel up to standing.

Slowly, I sit up and take in my surroundings.

A lamp and my desk chair are on their sides, the pieces of my phone scattered around. I crawl over to them, inspecting the useless shards of plastic before dropping them again. I go over to my bed, where the covers are falling off, and remember I do have a window that's easy to sneak out of.

I flip the lock and pull on the handle. It doesn't budge so I try again, wondering if it's just stuck.

"What the hell?" I mumble.

And then I see it.

A neat row of nails lines the window frame, effectively locking me into the room. I pointlessly try to open the window again, getting angrier with each pull and collapse onto my bed, angry tears spilling from my eyes.

I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them, looking around my room that has now become my prison cell. My eyes fall on my destroyed phone, reminding me that I had been on the phone with Edward when all this shit happened.

That boy loves me so fucking much it's ridiculous… meaning he'll come save me… Right?

"Please, Edward, I couldn't handle this on my own," I whisper into the dark. "Come save me."

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for another cliffhanger there… But if it helps, I have the next chapter pretty much mapped out and I work afternoons this week (which is naptime at the daycare I work at, meaning lotsa time to just write!) so… stick around! <strong>

**Truth: This song from Taking Back Sunday is actually not new… but new to Bella. I haven't heard much of their new stuff but I love the old. Oh and the song is actually called This Photograph is Proof (I Know You Know) but the first half of it doesn't really work here so...**

**Question: Is there a band that you love their old stuff more than the new?**


	14. Chapter 14: Seconds Away

**So, who would like to run away with me and live on our own little island where we can read and write all day long and no one will bug us? Yeah, that's how I've been feeling lately. A lot of family drama going on... And I'm also still bummed about that stupid Kindle! I actually got my hopes up about a tax return paying for a new one but turns out dad claimed me on his and forgot to tell me. Grrr! That killed my day... Anywho! I know everyone is dying to know what's gonna happen next so I'll quit my rambling and let you get to it!**

**Disclaimer: I own lotsa stuff but not the real deal. **

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 14: Seconds Away<span>

"Bella? Bella?"

Even after the line goes dead, I can't help calling her name over and over. I don't stop until Charlie appears by side and wrenches the phone out of my hand.

"Edward? What's going on?" he demands, glancing down at my blank phone and then to my spilled cup of coffee. I had knocked it over when Bella told me about that look Phil gave her. I had started to clean it up, before...

"Charlie... Bella... I was talking to her... and then... I don't know..." I gasp at him, breathing heavily. My head spins sickeningly as image after image pops into my head—each one involving Phil and worse than the last.

"Calm down, son," Charlie says calmly, leading me to the couch and sitting me down. He sits down on the coffee table in front of me and keeps his hands firmly on my shoulders. "Now, tell me what happened."

"I was on the phone with Bella," I say as calmly as I can manage with my heart still racing so painfully. I try to swallow but my mouth is so fucking dry. "And um... Phil came in the room, yelling... yelling things at her. And then Bella... she started screaming and the phone went dead, and and..."

I trail off, and though my chest if rising and falling rapidly, I can't seem to suck any air in through my desiccated mouth. Charlie tugs on my shoulders until I'm leaning over my knees and my breathing eases.

"Easy, Edward, easy," he murmurs. "Can you tell me what he said to her?"

"Uh," I say, squeezing my eyes shut. "He asked where she was all day and when she told him she was out, he accused her of being a prostitute."

I pause, waiting to see if Charlie wants me to continue. His posture stiffens slightly but he's in cop mode now so he waits for me to continue.

"He said that he was going to make her helpless," I say quietly, staring at the carpet below my feet, focusing on the pieces of lint stuck in the fibers as opposed to the screaming echoing through my head. "And that she was grounded... that she had to stay in her room until he said she could come out."

"Did it sound like he hurt her in any way?" Charlie asks sternly. Out of the corner of my eye, I see him pull out his cell phone and start dialing.

"I heard some crashing but I... I don't know," I mumble miserably, covering my face in my hands.

A vision of Bella, lying on the floor, bleeding and hurt, flits through my mind. I press my hands harder into my face, trying to block the sight. Instead, another one pops into my mind—one of Tanya, huddled in a corner, her face covered in bruises, her nose bleeding, as she tries to convince me that her boyfriend didn't touch her, that she fell, that nothing is wrong...

"Renee isn't answering her phone," I hear Charlie say. His voice sounds quiet, muted, and slowly gets louder the harder I focus on it. "Did Bella say anything about where she could be? Is she home or out with friends or at the store?"

"She... She's out," I say slowly. "With friends, I think. Something about a gallery showing her shitty paintings..."

I look up quickly, afraid my slip may have made Charlie angry but he doesn't seem to care. He nods slowly, dialing on his phone again.

"This is Chief Swan," he says in an authoritative voice. "I'm calling from the Forks Police Station in Washington. An alarming call was received from the Dwyer residence, from my daughter Isabella Swan, who's visiting her mother, Renee Dwyer there. Yes. She's remarried to Phil Dwyer. No, we only know that he threatened Isabella and then the line went dead. Yes, she sounded very distressed. She's seventeen. I'd like a patrol car there immediately. Yes, that's the address. Thank you very much, I expect a call within the half hour."

Charlie hangs up and looks down at my bewildered face.

"That's it?" I ask blankly. "We just sit here and wait, hoping to get a call back?"

My voice rises by the end of my sentence but Charlie is keeping up his professional manner and answers me as though I'm not basically shouting at him.

"That's all we can do for now," he says with a shake of his head. "It's not like we can just drive over there and check things out ourselves."

"Why the hell not?" I demand, standing up quickly.

"Because by the time we got there, it could be too late," he says evenly, standing with me. "Now let's just sit and try to keep our cool while we wait."

I let out a huff and throw myself back down.

* * *

><p>Charlie and I sit across the room from each other, neither of us speaking or looking anywhere near each other. My leg bounces nervously and I'm fucking dying for a smoke—or maybe even something a little harder—just to calm my damn nerves.<p>

Charlie's phone sits on his lap. It hasn't made any sound in what feels like forever.

_How long does it take to fucking drive to someone's house and bang on the damn door?_

I think about asking Charlie but when I look up and open my mouth, he has this intense look on his face as he frowns at the window. I snap my jaw shut and go back to studying the carpet as I had before.

_Damn it, how can he stand this?_

Finally, Charlie's phone rings and we both jump at the sound. It's to his ear before I even take one step towards him.

"Chief Swan," he says gruffly and then listens intensely, his brow furrowing. "Are you sure? Did they try every entry? No answer..."

I feel my lungs empty in one big _whoosh_ and have to sit down again. I can barely hear the next words Charlie says.

"No, I am positive that they are there," he says angrily, his professionalism slipping. "We only spoke to her a half hour ago! No, I have no idea where they could be but if something is going on in that house, he's not going to be answering the door when you go shouting that the police are there! Well, I would suggest getting a search warrant. Probable cause—of course we have probable cause! Since when is someone screaming on the phone for help not worth getting a warrant for? I have no idea how _you_ handle your town but in _my _town that is more than enough!"

Charlie hangs up, slamming his phone down on the table. I thread my fingers into my hair, gripping tightly as I watch Charlie standing there, cheeks red, hands on hips and huffing loudly. After a couple minutes, he gives a tight nod and strides towards the door.

"Come on, Edward," he says stiffly. "We're headed to Phoenix."

* * *

><p>The next couple of hours fucking flies by and I soon find myself sitting in a hard plastic chair in the airport, Charlie at my side. We both try to sweet talk the lady behind the counter to get the earliest flight we can but can't manage anything until the morning. She's real nice, though, and says that if we're willing to stick around, if something else opens up, we can have it. The two of us doze throughout the night, neither of us wanting to completely pass out and miss our chance.<p>

We're both wide awake before dawn. My leg is bouncing again; if it annoys him, he's not saying anything. My nerves are shot and I've considered sneaking out multiple times to smoke but I don't want to offend Charlie or miss anything.

I see him get on his phone again but he hangs up quickly with a frown.

"What's up?" I ask nervously.

"I have a bad feeling about the police department there," he says quietly, almost to himself. "They seemed all too happy to check things out at first but quickly dismissed my concerns when there was no answer. A call like Bella's should raise more alarm, because she's a minor."

I shudder, remembering the things I had heard over the phone...

_"You're the one that's been fucking around with a minor for years."_

_"Oh, I know you liked it..."_

"Oh, damn," Charlie groans and I follow his gaze up to the list of flights.

Our flight was delayed.

My heart drops right to the floor. We can't leave for another four or five hours.

"Can't we... take another flight or something?" I ask desperately, my eyes scanning the board for more options.

"It's still Spring Break, Edward," Charlie says patiently. "We were lucky to get anything at all."

I slump down in my seat, both legs jiggling now. I stare blankly at the flights, trying to will an opening to appear.

"It'll be fine, Edward," Charlie says softly.

"How do you know?" I burst out, sitting up and staring at him incredulously; his face is poker straight. "You don't know the shit I know, Charlie. It could be very much _not _okay by the time we get there!"

"There's nothing we can do," he says firmly. "Our flight is delayed—neither of us can fix that. And rather than holding what you know over me, why don't you enlighten me?"

I press my lips into a hard line; my hands curl up into tight fists.

_Do I break my promise to Bella? Would he be able to move things along if he knew?_

Charlie looks at me expectantly, his patience wavering slightly as he raises his eyebrows.

_What could it change? What would happen if I told him?_

I think back to when Bella shared her story with me. I try to remember exactly what I was feeling inside when I discovered the horror of where she came from.

I didn't even know her well then and I was still furious, still angered beyond belief that someone could treat someone this way, especially someone that is supposed to be a second father to her.

Charlie lets out a small sigh, still waiting on my answer.

I try to imagine what a father would think when he finds out what was happening to his own daughter before she was forced to live with him. If I were him... It would make me feel like a pretty shitty father for not seeing something—anything—sooner.

I take a deep breath and blow it out slowly, letting my face relax.

_No...it wouldn't change a damn thing right now._

"Forget it," I say weakly, standing up. "I need some air."

I hurry outside but Charlie doesn't call me back.

The cold air hits me when I open the door and I breathe deeply, trying to keep it together. I fish in my pockets for my smokes and stride quickly from the building, lighting up as I go.

It's pitch black out, the clouds blotting out both the moon and stars. I don't even know how late, or rather early, it is but time has ceased to really matter. All I know is that every second that ticks by is a moment too long to keep Bella waiting.

I lean against the back of Charlie's cruiser, feeling a bit defiant that I'm smoking on his car. Though I know I shouldn't be angry with him, I kind of am. Everything is just feeling so out of control right now that I can't seem to point my emotions in the right direction.

I push everything out of my mind for the time being and think of nothing but the crackle of burning paper, the glowing embers at the end of the cigarette, the burn in my throat as the smoke travels down to my lungs...

I'm so focused on my actions that I don't hear the voices in the parking lot until the group of people is only a few feet from me. I look up to see one of the only few people right now that can make things worse.

Jacob Black strides across the parking lot, surrounded by a group of friends from the rez, his arm slung over a thin girl with straight black hair. I feel the anger bubble up within me but don't move from my spot. It wouldn't do any good to pick a fight with someone right now, even with a police chief just inside that would help me out.

_But...would he...?_

"Hey, look who it is!" Jacob says loudly, grinning broadly. His arm swings up in greeting and I see his hand clutching a large, clear bottle.

I start to push off the car and walk away but he catches up quickly in a few long strides.

"Aw, where you going, Cullen?" he slurs drunkenly. "How about a pick me up? Looks like you could use it!"

"Fuck off, Black," I growl at him, turning away again but his friends circle around me, swaying on the spot and smiling stupidly.

"Where's your, uh... girlfriend?" he asks, raising his eyebrows in a lewd manner. "Or has she moved on to her next fuck buddy?"

"I'm warning you, Black," I say through my teeth. "Back the fuck off. Now."

"What are you doing here anyways?" he asks, taking his arm off the girl next to him and stumbling forward. "Coming to crash our party? Leah just flew back and we're all headed to her place to get shit faced..."

"Looks like you already are, dipshit," I snort, shaking my head.

_How can one person be so damn stupid? _

"Where are you going?" he slurs again, still coming closer. I can smell the liquor on his breath. "Going to Arizona to save your girl? I hear she got shipped back home for that bitch fight before break."

"You don't know what you're talking about," I say shakily, my hands balling into fists, my nails cutting into my palms.

"What? Didn't you know how feisty she could be?" He laughs loudly and the rest of the group joins in. "I know _we_ do..."

I lunge forward, completely losing it. I grab the front of Jacob's sweatshirt and pull his face to mine. He's so surprised that he can't do much more than try to keep his balance. I speak in a low voice that only he can hear, doing my best to control myself enough that I don't rip his fucking head off. His friends mumble and shift around us but stay back. Leah lets out a small squeak, covering her face with her slim hands.

"You listen here, Jacob," I snarl in his face. "Yes, I am going to go save Bella, but not for the reasons _you_ think. Have you ever bothered to ask her about her life back in Arizona? Have you ever stopped thinking about your fucking hormones long enough to ask your fucking _friend_ why she seemed so unhappy while she was there?"

"She just... she just missed me, that was it," he mumbles, his brows furrowing. My interrogation is almost too much for his intoxicated brain. "And she... she wanted to do that shit."

"No, she fucking did not!" I say through teeth gritted so tightly together that I can barely get the words out. "It was all she fucking knew! Tell me...Has she ever said anything about her damn step-dad?"

"I know she didn't like him," he says blankly, his eyes darting down as he thinks. I shake him slightly and he looks up again.

"Think, Jacob," I say roughly. "What happened the last time you were _together_?"

"She said she didn't want to fuck around anymore, but—"

"And why exactly do you think that was?" I interrupt him.

His eyes grow wide and he takes a step back. I let him go, making him stumble a step or two before he gains his balance, still staring at me with a horrified expression on his face.

"Tell me," I say again, in a remarkably calm voice. "After doing all that... shit... for years, why do you think she decided to call it off?"

"Was he... was he hurting her?" Jacob whispers. His friends all look back and forth between his face and mine, obviously fucking clueless but scared shitless to ask anything.

"In a manner of speaking," I say, laughing humorlessly.

"Edward, I..."

"Edward!"  
>I turn around to see Charlie marching towards me. Jacob hides his bottle behind his back, attempting to look innocent.<p>

"We got an earlier flight," he says, not even acknowledging Jacob and his friends. "Let's go."

I toss my cigarette on the ground and stamp it out, not caring that Charlie sees. Before I can leave, Jacob grabs my arm. I turn to him angrily, expecting the same expression in return, but I can only describe his face as looking sad.

"Edward, I'm sorry," he says quietly. "I know I haven't been the best of friends to her the past couple of years. You're... you're good for her. Take care of her, please."

"I love her, Jacob," I say shortly. "There's not chance in hell I will stop taking care of her and keeping her from people like Phil... and you."

I expect him to argue my statement; instead, he nods and let's me go. Whether it's the drink talking or the truth, I have no fucking clue. But I'm not giving him another chance.

I'm done with him.

* * *

><p>On the plane, I still can't keep still. Charlie grunts at me, every now and then, obviously annoyed with me, but I just can't figure out what to do with myself. This wait is fucking killing me.<p>

When the plane takes off and the seat belt light turns off, Charlie gets up and wanders down the aisle, mumbling something about stretching his legs already. Once he's gone, I take out my iPod and go through the list of songs I just added for Bella.

Most of the songs I added to the playlist are older songs from Taking Back Sunday, ones that I know she would like without even needing to ask.

One of the songs I added just after she left, when the most we could talk was through text messages. I don't usually listen to such sad songs but this one reminds me of a lot of things—my relationship with Bella, her relationship with her mother and Phil and now with Jacob. In a way, the song sounds like a break up song but the words hit so close to home, that it doesn't bother me a damn bit.

I put my ear buds in, push play and when the guitar and violin begin, I lean my head back to listen.

_"We've got to get better," I said, "It's all in your head."_

_We could live through these letters or forget it all together_

_See the months they don't matter, it's the days I can't take_

_When the hours move to minutes and I'm seconds away..._

I resist the urge to look at the time again. I know the flight will be short but every second that goes by is a second I can't stop thinking of her, wishing I had done something different so that this shit wouldn't have happened...

_Just ask the question, come untie the knot_

_Say you won't care, say you won't care..._

I still find it fucking unbelievable that Bella's own mother—the woman who gave birth to her, who raised her—was so blind to the shit storm that was swirling around her for years. Did she ever ask Bella what she thought of Phil? Did she ever stop to wonder why she was so fucking rebellious?

_Retrace the steps as if we forgot_

_Say you won't care, say you won't care_

_Try to avoid it but there's not a doubt_

_And there's one thing that I can do nothing about..._

I still feel like this shit is all my fucking fault. I have no clue why but... I just do. I shouldn't have listened to Bella when she insisted on telling her dad herself. She's too damn stubborn for her own good. I should have said fuck it and done it anyways, her anger with me be damned.

_If chasing our dreams is just a distraction_

_I want to remember when I know that I can't go back..._

No, I wouldn't have been able to do that. The moment I met her, I knew Bella was different, was her own person. If I had tried to go against that, I would have been just like all those other bastards that fucked up her life.

I love her too much to do that to her.

Over the past few days, Charlie and I had been getting closer. Though I could always count him as somewhat of a friend, he'd been treating me more like family, clearly already trusting me to treat his daughter right. Though he doesn't know the extent of the damage that has been done to Bella, he knows that I wouldn't let a damn thing happen to her now that we're together.

I didn't mind hanging out with Charlie but at this moment, I'm glad he chose to leave me alone. I've never really been one to hide my emotions but someone has to keep their head clear right now and as the tears roll down my face, I know I'm not that one.

* * *

><p>I'm overwhelmed with how hot it is the second we step out of the airport. I knew Arizona was hot but I didn't think the sweat would be running down my forehead so quickly.<p>

Charlie pulls up in a silver mini van. When I climb in, I find it ice cold in the interior.

_Thank fuck, I was dying out there._

"We got lucky again," Charlie says as we make our way out of the parking lot. "This was the last rental they had left."

"Well, I know it's Spring Break still but we don't really need to be riding in style," I mumble, eying the street signs. "So, where do we go?"

"Now, I was thinking about that," Charlie says slowly, pausing at a stop sign. "We really need to come up with some sort of plan, a way to get her out of this safely. Clearly, the police aren't going to help us—"

"Clearly," I grumble under my breath.

"—so we need to come up with an alternative plan," Charlie continues, ignoring my interruption. "I know where they live—Renee has been in this house for years—but I don't know what Phil looks like."

"You've never met him?" I ask curiously.

"No, I never really had any kind of interest in my ex-wife's love life after the divorce," Charlie says with a grim smile. "So, what I can gather from what you heard on the phone, it seems as though he may be keeping Bella there captive."

I hear the distaste in his voice at that last word and a chill runs down my spine that has nothing to do with the blasting air conditioner of the van. I shake my head, rub my face with both hands, and then it hits me.

Charlie has always been in the habit of calling me son... so why not use that?

"I have an idea," I say confidently, my mind whirling. "It's a little elaborate but it may be our only choice. Phil doesn't seem to be too bright but he does seem pretty creative. He most likely thinks that he's the only one that can come up with a plan as imaginative as his own."

"Sounds about right," Charlie agrees. "What's the plan?"

"I'll tell you all about it... _dad."_

* * *

><p>"How do I look?"<p>

I take in Charlie's new outfit—khaki shorts, flip flops and a polo shirt. It was completely the opposite of anything he would ever wear. I wore something similar and both of us were wearing distressed baseball caps. I worried about wearing these since they were somewhat of a negative for Bella because of Phil wearing them but Charlie pointed out that it would hide our hair—one of my more prominent features. I also wore a pair of dark sunglasses to hide my bright green eyes.

"Nothing like yourself," I assure him.

"Good," he says with a nod. "Are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," I answer, taking a deep breath. "Let's go."

We drive towards Renee's house, my leg bouncing yet again. I put my palm on my knee and push on it, hoping it'll stop. It helps a little.

When we get to the right street, Charlie gives me one last nod, which I return stiffly, and turns.

I breathe evenly, in through my nose and out through my mouth, as we inch down the street. But my breath stops completely when I see a man who's dressed a lot like us, in the front yard of the house that Charlie described. He's the only one outside on a scorching day like this, gardening with the blazing sun beating down on his back.

"That's him," Charlie whispers, sighing deeply and hitching a smile on his face.

I try to mirror his expression of interest as we drive slowly down the street. Phil stretches and waves politely at us; Charlie returns the gesture. We keep moving until we reach the corner and then turn twice to get into the ally.

"Last time I'm going to ask," Charlie says seriously, hand on the keys still in the ignition.

"No doubt about it," I say before he can voice his question.

Charlie twists the keys out of the ignition and pockets them. We both step out and move swiftly down the ally, turning when we reach the corner.

I follow along with Charlie's acting, smiling and pointing at random things like I'm actually fascinated with the area. When we get close enough to where Phil is working, Charlie calls out a greeting, putting on a fake southern accent.

"Hey there!" he calls, waving. Phil straightens up and smiles, wiping his dirty hands on his jeans. "How ya'll doing?"

"Not bad," Phil says with a shrug and I resist the urge to leap at him and beat the shit out of him. "Can I help you boys with anything?"

"Just checking out the area," Charlie answers, holding out his hand. "I'm Randy, by the way. This here is my son, Travis. We're moving here from Texas."

"Nice to meet you, I'm Phil," he says, shaking Charlie's hand. I do the awkward teenage head nod thing. There is no way in hell I will touch this man civilly. "What made you decide on Phoenix?"

"We have family across town," Charlie lies easily. "My aunt—she hasn't been doing well so we thought we'd move closer to help out."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," Phil says sincerely.

I glance around, pretending like I'm checking out the houses. I see that his front door is open about halfway. The inside is empty and quiet.

"How long have you lived here?" Charlie drawls.

I tune out their voices and take a few steps away, looking like I'm inspecting the house next door. I see a window on the side of the house, the curtains drawn; they're purple.

Bella...

"Hey dad," I interrupt, putting a fake twang in my voice. "I've been cooped up in that car so long, I think I'll go jog around the block a few times."

"Alright, son, just don't stray too far," Charlie laughs and turns to Phil, distracting him easily. "That's Travis—always on the move. He was on the track team back home, you know. Do you have any kids of your own?"

"No, I don't," I hear Phil say as I trot steadily down the sidewalk. "I do have a step-daughter, though. Can't say I know her too well, though."

I pick up my speed, not wanting to listen to his lies any farther.

Luckily, the house isn't too far from the corner so I'm able to turn quickly. I peek over my shoulder and see that the two men are still heavily engaged in their conversation. Once I'm out of sight, I race around the corner. My shirt is soaked in sweat but I don't care about the heat. The only thought in my head right now is finding Bella.

I find our rental parked where we left it and pause for a moment to catch my breath before letting myself into the sparse backyard.

_Oh God, I hope the back door is unlocked._

I creep across the yard and test the knob on the back door. It opens silently, swinging forward on quiet hinges. I poke my head around the corner, see the kitchen is empty, and step over the threshold. I stand and listen for any sign of life in the house.

I'm met with only silence.

I tip-toe across the tile floor, noticing that it's hotter inside than it was out, even with the kitchen ceiling fan spinning. This strikes me as odd.

Where the kitchen meets the hall, I pause, looking around the corner. The staircase is just a few steps away, but in plain view of the front door. Phil's back is to me; Charlie can see me but keeps talking exuberantly to hold Phil's attention.

I move soundlessly towards the stairs, my eyes locked on the men outside. I take the steps two at a time, making it up in seconds, and turn around again to listen. Laughter filters in from outside, assuring me that my presence inside is unknown.

The upstairs of the house is boiling hot. I pull my sticky shirt away from my body and wipe my forehead with the tail of my shirt. I'm sweating again within moments.

All the doors upstairs are closed. I start with the nearest one but find a bathroom. The door next to it has an untidy office. The third, the master bedroom. I'm starting to panic but there's one door left—and it has to have her in it.

I try the knob but it's locked.

"Shit," I mumble, trying again.

Examining the door, I see that the knob has been turned around so that the lock is on the outside rather than the inside.

_No fucking doubt about it, this is where she is..._

I spin around frantically, at a loss of what to do. I drop to my knees and look under the carpet running the length of the hall but there's no key there. I'm breathing so loudly, both from the heat and the desperation, that if someone were to come inside, they'd find me in a heartbeat.

My phone buzzes in my pocket and I dash down the hall, throwing myself in the first room I reach—the master bedroom.

"Yeah?" I say breathlessly into the phone.

"Hey, son, where'd you go?" Charlie says into the phone, his accent still thick.

"I'm upstairs," I answer quickly. "The room is locked."

"Oh, you're down at the corner store?" he says, obviously still in front of Phil. "Grab me a coke for the drive home, will ya?"

"I'm in the master bedroom," I whisper, looking around me. "I don't know what to do!"

"We were thinking of checking out the house for sale across the street," he says evenly. "But I was wondering... Did you remember to grab the key for your great-aunt's house from the dresser?"

If I hadn't been listening closely enough, I wouldn't have caught the slight inflection he put on that last word. I race to the dresser on the side of the bed that looks more like it would belong to a guy. There's a bit of change but no key.

"It's not there!" I say, checking the other dresser. Nothing.

"Huh, she said she left it there," Charlie muses. "Maybe it was by the TV."

"No TV," I mutter, flitting around the room to check every surface in the place.

"Alright," he says, sounding only marginally upset but then he changes his tone to sound a bit more urgent. "Remind me to call the school office to sign you up, ya hear?"

"The office!" I exclaim, throwing open the door and racing down to the next room. I fling the door open and directly across from me is a cork board, papers pinned to every space available but right smack in the middle is a key. "Got it!"

"Thank you, son," Charlie says in relief, chuckling to Phil. "Kid keeps me on top of things—" and then to me, "—I'll see you back out front in a few."

I hang up and rush back to Bella's door. With shaking fingers, I put the key in the lock.

It fits.

I open the door slowly and the first thing I notice is the hot stuffy air that spills from the room. I gasp, my eyes blinking against the sweat pooling in my lashes, having trouble breathing in the dense, hot air.

"Bella?" I whisper, stepping into the room carefully.

It must be over a hundred degrees in here, even with it being so dark. The curtains are pulled tight and I see a lamp and chair on the floor. I take another step, pulling off my sunglasses, and hear a crunch. Looking down in horror, I see Bella's cell phone in pieces.

"Bella?" I say again, louder this time.

I hear a soft groan and snap my head to the left, where I see a tall dresser. I shakily walk across the hard wood floor, avoiding the broken shards of the phone and the lamp, and nearly collapse at what I see.

Bella is slumped against the dresser, her tank top and jeans torn in a few places. Her dark hair is pulled haphazardly up into a ponytail. Stray bits of hair are plastered to her sweaty face and her eyes are closed. Her breathing is labored, the air being pulled painfully over dry, cracked lips.

I kneel down in front of her, brushing back her damp hair. Her normally pale face is bright red and burning up. Under the flush I can see bruising across her cheeks, her neck, down her arms...

"No, angel, no," I murmur, noticing that though it's so hot in the room, there's no perspiration on her skin at all. There's no water in her body to sweat out...

_The fucker was burning her alive!_

I know I don't have much time so I gingerly grab her arms and sling her over my back in a fireman's lift. She's so light and limp that it's scares me. She doesn't stir as I leave the room, checking out the front door to make sure there's no one there. I can see Charlie and Phil across the street, bending over to check out the foundation of the front porch.

"Don't worry, baby, I got you," I whisper, stroking her arm as it twitches against my chest.

Before I leave, I close and lock the bedroom door again, giving the illusion that nothing was disturbed. I go to the office, fling the key under the desk and pull the door closed.

It's almost too easy to go back through the steaming house and back out the back door. I don't look back, knowing that even if Phil was on his way back, there's no way in hell I'd give her up now. I get out to the van with no incident and lower her into the backseat.

As I lay her down, she moans again, turning her head and trying to open her eyes.

"No..." she breathes. "No, please..."

"Bella, angel, it's me," I say quietly, opening the ice chest on the floor behind the driver's seat and dipping my hand into the freezing water. I swipe my fingers across her forehead and she hums in pleasure.

"Edward?" she mumbles.

"I'm here," I say, smiling. "You're safe now."

Bella nods minutely, just barely moving her head enough for me to see. I wet her face with a few more handfuls of water, grab a water bottle and a coke and close up the van.

I jog back around the corner, pouring some of the water over my head as I go and shoving the sunglasses back onto my face. When I reach the house across from Renee's house, Phil and Charlie turn to me.

"Ah, there you are, Travis!" Charlie says happily. "I was worried you got lost."

"Sorry, there was a hot chick at the store," I say, giving a genuine smile now that I have my angel safe. "You shoulda seen her, pops. Hot damn, she was a looker!"

"You don't have your own girl back home?" Phil asks with a chuckle.

"Heck, no!" I say, laying on the act thickly. "Shoot, the only good-looking ones are the rich teachers there."

"My son here goes for the older ladies," Charlie laughs, patting me on the shoulder and taking the coke I hand him.

"Is that right?" Phil asks curiously, turning to me in fascination.

"Oh yeah," I say, taking a swig of my water. "Hot young guy on the track team—whoo whee! They love that!"

The three of us laugh and I see Charlie reach into his pocket slyly. Phil's too busy laughing to notice.

"Young or old, the ladies are all over my son," Charlie says, still chuckling. "Takes after his pops, here."

"I'm sure you were just the same in high school, sir," I say to Phil. "I'm sure all the ladies just loved those baby blues you got there."

"_Were?_" Phil says, shaking his head and leaning in closer to whisper conspiratorially. "Still am."

"Is that right?" Charlie says, shifting closer and looking interested. "You know, I was never one for the cougars but I once dated a girl at least eight years younger than me."

"That's it?" Phil scoffs. "I got one almost half my age! Still in high school and everything."

"Half? Wow, how'd you manage that?" Charlie says, angling his body slightly. I glance up at Phil, trying to contain my eagerness for more information.

"It was easy," Phil says, looking around as if to check for eavesdroppers. "She's been all over me for years. She's nearly eighteen and with the way she's been acting up, she'll be sent back home for good any day now."

I lick my dry lips, gripping my water bottle too tightly to look natural. I cover it by taking another drink but I nearly choke it back up. My throat is constricting slightly at the sick sight of how proud of himself Phil is.

"Ah, I envy you, sir!" Charlie says, a forced smile on his face now. Phil doesn't notice. "But what do you mean, sent back home?"

"Well, she's actually my step-daughter," Phil admits, frowning slightly and continuing in a rush. "But I never officially adopted her or anything. She was sent back to live with her dad but I knew it wouldn't last long. She's a real tough one, big trouble maker. She hates the cold, though, so she won't last long. I know she likes the heat."

Phil laughs again and it sounds evil to my ears.

"Oh, I'm sure she'll come back home," Charlie says darkly. "What's her name, anyways?"

"Oh! Isabella, or Bella for short," Phil says, a disgusting dreamy look on his face. "Yeah, she's got a real tight body, I just love it..."

"We better get going, pops, we'll be late for Great-Auntie," I cut in, not wanting to hear any more talk about _my_ girl from this monster. "Nice to meet you... Phil, right?"

I back away slowly, Charlie following my lead.

"Yes, Phil, Phil Dwyer," Phil says, following us slowly, looking a little disappointed that we're leaving. No doubt he wanted to continue discussing our apparent mutual love for woman of an inappropriate age.

"Well, thank ya, Mr. Dwyer," Charlie says, touching the tip of his hat in a southern farewell. "We'll be seeing you."

We turn and rush across the road, Charlie putting his phone to his ear and pretending to call his aunt to apologize. I take one last look at Phil, who's still ambling back to his gardening. When we get to the corner, I glance back again and breathe a sigh of relief that he's still out there, shoveling dirt, as though he doesn't have a girl locked away upstairs like he believes.

"Did you get her?" Charlie asks, dropping the fake accent once we're out of earshot.

"Yeah, but she doesn't look good," I tell him, huffing as we hurry through the heat. "He was keeping her locked upstairs without food or water or air-conditioning."

"How hot was it?" he asks quickly, picking up the pace.

"Too hot," I say shortly. "Did you catch his confession?"

Out of his pocket, Charlie pulls a mini tape recorder. He pushes a button to rewind and then shifts his thumb to the play button.

_"...I never officially adopted her or anything. She was sent back to live with her dad but I know it won't last long. She's a real tough one, big trouble maker..."_

Charlie stops the tape and smiles in triumph.

"Got it!" he exclaims.

We're at the van now and we both glance up at house but there's no activity going on inside. We pause to listen; I can still hear the sound of Phil's shovel hitting the hard dirt as he digs.

I open the sliding door to the van and Charlie gasps when he sees his daughter lying on the seat, still looking flushed and lifeless. We only stand there long enough to see her chest raise and fall weakly and then Charlie gives my shoulder a pat.

"Thank you, son," he says gruffly. I nod once and throw myself into the van, letting Charlie close the door quietly behind me. He gets into the driver's seat and starts the engine as I gently lift Bella's head to cradle it in my lap. She makes a quiet whimpering sound; I pull off my hat and glasses and scoop up a handful of ice water.

"Bella, I'm here," I whisper, tipping my hand over her lips. They part slightly as she sighs, allowing the water to trickle onto her tongue. "Can you hear me, angel?"

Her eyes twitch, opening a crack, just enough to focus blearily on my face.

"Edward," she sighs, giving a small smile. "You came for me."

"Of course I did," I say, my throat closing with emotion. "And I always will."

She smiles again and closes her eyes. I lean forward to kiss her softly on the forehead and she sighs again. I stroke her hair back, blinking back tears.

No words can describe how happy I am to have her back in my arms. By the looks of her in that room, she was seconds away from letting go.

No fucking way I was ever letting her go again.

* * *

><p><strong>Truth: The name of the song is actually New American Classic but the line about being seconds away kinda stuck out to me. I almost cried a few times writing this, especially when I had the song playing! I was actually bummed when I had to stop midway to leave—leaving me at a real sad part. Things will get better from here though, you'll see...<strong>

**Question: I prefer the cold to the hot, mainly rain. I don't mean like freezing but yeah, chilly is okay with me. It's easier to warm yourself up then it is to cool off. Which do you like, the heat or the cold?**


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